"The fresh smell of soil comes out every time when the drops of rain hit it..."

I was thinking about it when the rainy smell and sound of the drops hit my senses heavily....

It was 3pm in the evening...and obviously there was abrupt rain...

I, Apsara aged 21, was sitting in the lecture class unwillingly , without any attention given to the lecture , just for the sake of the attendance ...and I have to be the one taking attendance here ... because I'm one of the class maintaining leaders here ...

The lady professor, who was in the podium , was teaching about a deadly disease which can be toxic and can slowly kill a man ....

Little did she know that I was also going through such a disease, Not exactly that one , but similar to that one ....people call it as ' LOVE ' .

It has no specific causative agent, no vulnerable populations...it can affect anybody...

As I was thinking about all these stuffs, my gaze unknowingly fell on the person who sits at a bit of distance from me...

The reason for both my happiness and sadness..

Preston....

He's my co-leader for this class...

He also looked at me and whispered" Hey Apsara, This class..let me take attendance ok?"

His voice sounded like a kid eagerly wanting to do something...

I know why he is so eager to take attendance...

Because all the eyes of people in this lecture hall will fall on him for ten minutes if he takes attendance...

which will also catch his crush's eyes....

Thinking of all this makes my eyes ready to shed tear involuntarily...

I confessed my love to him...last month and I got rejected in a funny tone...

His intentions were really clear with me.

He wanted that bond and friendship with me..

and he did not wanna hurt me with the truth too...

So he softly said the fact...

But still my heart doesn't wanna accept the truth that 'Preston doesn't belong with me...

He belongs with that Jennifer "

..

Yea his eyes craves for her smile....

She also seems to treat him specially...

But why am I the one getting hurt over their undeniable chemistry...?!

I really hate me being like the villian and hater for their love story, yet dunno how to stop it....

How to stop the thing that's bothering inside...?!

Preston looked at me strongly this time to remind me that he asked a question to which an answer from my side is pending...

I whispered back " okay...you take for this class "...hiding that tear that was about to fall from my eyes...

The loud notification from my phone disturbed the chain of thoughts and made Preston to warn me with his eyes about the professor's stare falling on me...

She shouted " All should put their phones in silent mode..."

Then , she continued to take her lesson interested...

I looked at the notification and found it was from my brother Steven...

It was a booking for Therapist appointment...

And a reminder about it from Steven bro..

I reacted thumbs up for that message from him and again got indulged in thoughts...

Since I lost my smile over this Preston matter..., I forced myself to attend a therapist session to clear my mind and to bring back my contagious lively smile...

People really love my positive energy but neither of them knows clearly that it was fake one to hide the hurt and disappointments inside...

Handling a rejection is so hard...

My friends warned me not to go in search of love...yet I lost my calmness here

..

Yet the worst thing is , all people from this class...all the 150 people seating here now with me know that I loved Preston and he rejected me..

This bothers me more than anything...