Looking straightforward, I quickly recognized a familiar face that I haven't seen in a while. "Is that who I think it is?!", I immediately lowered my head afraid to be noticed as I regain my composure.

"Just continue walking! He'll just pass by you, there's no need to be anxious", I muttered.

"Wait! What's wrong with it? It's not like he'll know it's me when I've changed...so much"

"Excuse me, MJ..right?", I looked up to find him staring at me, already sure of who I was.

While thinking of the right words to say, he struck up a short conversation, "How you've been?".

Those 3 simple words made me look back to what could have been. We have known each other since college and at some point in time, we developed feelings for each other but before things became serious and official, things fell apart and we lost communication months ago.

I forced a smile despite the slight pain in my chest, "Quite great, what about you?".

"I...", when a woman from behind abruptly clung unto his arm, he turned to her surprised yet with eyes full of affection.

"Love, let's go..", she paused and looked at me.

I introduced myself and TJ did the same saying "My fiancée", as he put his arm around her waist.

"KZ, nice to meet you! MJ", showing me her brightest smile.

"Oh! Congratulations!", I tried my best not to sound so surprised.

After exchanging a few words, we all decided to part ways. For a moment, I looked back and it seemed like he also did, "or was I just imagining it?", I asked myself.

I sighed and felt a bit relieved realizing that my wish came true.

My wish for him to find someone new.

In that way, he will no longer contact me because I know that he only liked the idea of having me around and has no plans on pursuing me for real.

When I arrived home, silence welcomed me and I decided to give my diary it's daily visit.

"Hey, me!..I bumped into him earlier, he's gotten more handsome since the last day I saw him. It's like he never changed and by the way, you were right, we still love him."

"I guess maybe that's why we still dream about him don't we? Why we don't find any other man attractive because in our eyes, only him is qualified to be."

"And now that he's getting married, I guess it's time. No more looking back for you. You've gotten this far with no success of being with him but at the very least, you wish came true didn't it? So be happy!"

"Be happy", I repeated those two words over and over again as I feel the drops of tears falling through my eyes...

"Just when will it be my turn"

"I hope someone find me soon or else I'll no longer believe in this thing called love"

"sister, where is mommy?", the very same question she kept in her mind ever since she was 5 years old.

She has plenty of siblings but all of them kept her in the dark. They hid everything from her to protect her but does she want that? They did not even consider asking her first.

There was one time where all her siblings had to go to the province, all she knew was that they we're going to visit their mom, little did she know they we're gonna attend a trial. She immediately went to write a letter for her mom. She was so excited to hand it over to her sister and even made sure that she was really gonna give it to her. In the end, the little girl saw the letter in the same pocket untouched when they came back.

4 years had passed when her mom suddenly showed up in their front door. She barely recognized her anymore. Seeing her face and feeling her presence once again, she didn't know how to react because where was she all this time?

Where was she when the little girl cried herself to sleep because she missed her so much? Where was she when the little girl turned bitter after seeing her classmates with their parents every after school and every parent's conference? Where was she when the little girl craved for her mother's love?

Those past 4 years, she somehow secretly searched for answers but no one knows. One day, she was just around 7 years old when she turned on their computer and searched for her mother's name in facebook. There she learned about the truth but it didn't gave her assurance and peace instead it gave her a huge wave of jealousy.

Her mother was in a place behind bars holding another girl in her arms. She knew what that place was but she didn't care. She only cared about why that little girl is with her mother.

"She's my mom, why is she with you and not with me?". A voice kept whispering that question in her mind as she tried to cover up her mouth from crying too much, cause the people with her might wake up.

.

.

.

The woman looked at her daughter with deep longing. She opened her arms and the little girl slowly walked towards her. She hugged her so tight not wanting to let go but the little girl did not feel the same. The little girl was filled with hesitations of going near her and felt awkward. Why? Because she did not feel the same kind of warmth she felt before. Because she misses her but she did not want to see her anymore.

°

°

°

Now I wonder why can't parents understand that they should not expect you to be affectionate towards them when they've been absent from your life. It doesn't matter if they gave birth to you or gave you life when you never asked for it in the 1st place. It's always been their choice to have you and if they choose to not be with you then they should never blame you for your lack of love for them.

A year passed by since I became a college graduate. I never knew my life was just about to start. At that time, I was out looking for a job.

The phone rang and I quickly answered it. "Let's have dinner together, I'll come pick you up", said on the other side of the phone. I answered "okay" and as usual, my mind would automatically create many scenarios of what will happen next.

I immediately went to prepare, wore a simple dress, put on some light make-up and had my hair tied in a ponytail. Soon enough, I heard someone knocking through my door.

I went to open it and what greeted me was a bouquet of flowers and a handsome man who was looking at me as if I was some kind of angel that fell from the sky.

My first reaction was hugging him and thanking him for the beautiful flowers. "You're always looking lovely, I'm very curious how am I even worthy to be in your presence".

I raised my eyebrow at him and chuckled a little, "Don't be silly". We arrived at the restaurant and he pulled the chair for me. I'm very curious what I have done in my past life to have a prince by my side.

We talked about casual things and after a while, we were finally done eating. I thought that was it but he suddenly looked at me seriously.

"Lia", he called my name with a gentle voice. I stared at him, "got anything to say?". However, he did not open his mouth to speak again and instead walked towards me.

My heart was beating fast and complicated emotions were filling me in as he kneeled in one leg and took out a small red box. I immediately knew what was happening. I wanted to stop it.

His next words were enough to create chaos in my heart and mind, "Will you marry me?". Marry!? marry? Did I hear him wrong?. I immediately panicked even though there was not much people around.

My mind went blank then he continued, "I know its a little bit early, but I want to see you in my arms every morning I wake up. I want to see your smile when I cook for you, I want to be able to help you around the house. There is no one in this world that I want spend my entire life with except for you. I might be a bit selfish but I promise you that I'll give my best to make you happy every single day."

I looked deeply into his eyes and realized that he too is experiencing a series of emotions. He knew me, my goals in life and one of it was not getting married until I become successful.

I tried to speak but no words came out. He was eagerly waiting for a reply. Silence continued for seconds so I took a huge breath and calmly said "no". He turned stiff while blankly staring at me.

"We are still young and should not think about marriage yet. You know I still have my dream to achieve and your business is still growing. There is a time for marriage but now is not it...I-I'm sorry." After saying those words, I saw the light in his eyes slowly fading away and I am very aware that it was all my fault.

I took the courage to help him up and knew that things can't continue this way. I told him that I was offered a job of my dream overseas and my flight is tomorrow morning. He was shocked.

I really didn't mean to keep it a secret from him. I just didn't know how and when to tell him.

He held my hands in his and with watering eyes looked at me. The pain and guilt tripled, I didn't like that, I don't want to see him hurting especially when I'm the reason why.

"I know your dream is that important to you...but you can still achieve it...here..here with me", he hugged me tight refusing to let go. I quickly freed myself from his warm embrace, torturing my heart and body that wants to be closer to him.

"This is my dream, the dream I've been chasing for so long and when its finally here, do you really want me to let go of the opportunity?". Deep in my heart, I hoped he would understand. I hoped that I can make him wait. But I guess not all people have patience.

He gave off a long silence while his head is facing down, "I understand". He gave off a smile, a mixture of happiness and sadness as he said, "you can now chase you dream my love".

I never heard him say he'd wait for me. Maybe because he doesn't know how long he'll have to wait and I understand because his one dream in life was to have a happy family of his own, I was unaware it has to be so soon.

That night, I didn't want to leave him and he didn't want to see me leave but we have different paths to walk on.

The next day, I looked back, he really didn't came to see me off. "I don't know what the future holds but I wish it would still be me and you in the end".

10 years passed, I was able to overcome the obstacles and finally became successful. But all throughout those times, I can't stop thinking about him. How he's doing, if he's eating properly and if he's getting enough sleep because ever since what happened, things just reached its end.

When I arrived home, my parents were delighted to see me. They asked me how was life overseas but just as I expected, they also asked me about him. All I could give as an answer was silence cause I don't know too.

I checked everything in the house and decided to go buy some groceries. I drove to the mall and went to the supermarket. After going through the aisles, I saw a face that I can never ever forget.

However, he changed not with how he looked but with how he had a cute little girl in his right arm and a beautiful woman walking beside him.

One thing I will always remember is how they all looked so happy, wishing the woman was me and that wishes don't come true.