26 months before the end of my days

I sat besides james and put my head in his shoulders and asked him "are you sad?" and he starred at me with hes eyes and nods. he hugged me tightly and cried out loud and said "sorry.....im so sorry i should've done my best! i should've been nice to you but instead i scolded you" and i said "its ok. its ok dont worry dont cry, everything will be alright" after he cried he said "im sorry ill do my best to help you ease the pain" and he kissed me passionately, after he kiss me took my hand and pull me to the living room and said "wait here i've got something to give you" and then leaves and enter the room..

i've thought to my self "how did this all happened"..............

..........*flash back*........

september, 11, 2017

I opened the door and enter the appartment and saw james sitting in the sofa drinking beer, he saw me and said "hey you! where have you been! huh!? did you go to youre boy freinds!? "i've been in the convinience store and bought some food", he then comes near me and grapped my rist roughly and pulled towards him and said "youre lying!!" ow!! it hurts! let go of me " he pulled me in the bedroom and throws me in bed "lets see if you can lie ", and he unbuckled his pants and throws them at me with his belt in my face and i said "james please my head hurts! "youre head hurts huh? lets see ",he pulled my hair and cuts my shirt and i said"hey what are you doing!! "can't you see? you do like rape huh? ",after he tore my shirt, he licked my chest and bit my nipples while holding both my hands "ouch! it hurts please stop! " why? dont you like it? ",i looked into him with my teary eyes and i said "please im sorry, please stop ",i kept begging but he still continued harassing me.

sept, 12

I woke up and thought about what happened last night and cried, I wiped my tears and gets up, as I about to stand sudden pain felt all over my back, i fell from the floor and i heard the door open and saw its james he said "oh youre awake ", he helped me gets up and put to bed, i saw his eyes starring filth'ly and angry , he then goes out the room with the door opened, he glanced and said "theres food in the fridge and the pain killers are on the cabinets ,ill be going home late dont wait for me ". and i said. " ok be safe ". after he left i quickly get up and grapped unto the wall and

walk until find the kitchen stool, i saw a pink gift bag under the table and saw the name tag

lovelorn.com, i suspiciously look inside the bag and saw an xxx toy, i saw another tag and says "to jun from james " i cried as soon as i finished reading the tag and accidentally dropped the item, after i put the bag in the same place i heard beeps in the door and saw james coming and he said "hey, you saw a pink bag? ". and i said "its under the table ". after he get the bag he quickly goes out without even looking back, and then i thought to myself crying "am i enough? whats wrong with me? " i looked to my watch and saw that im going to be late, i walked off of the stool and endured walking to shower.

After taking shower i reached the painkillers, i put on my working clothes and set off. as i passed by the streets i saw a couple holding hands and whispered "we used to be like that ". i reached the company and started to work, i sat in my corner, i received an email and says "from boss come to the office im giving you a task " a task? weren't it supposed to be he's assistant? ". i knocked and walked inside the boss office and saw him drinking his coffee while standing in the glass pane and saw he's handsome face and then asked "sir i recieved youre email " yes, i want you to make me lunch my assistant's on a leave so i want you to be the substitute " ok sir ill be off now ". i walked to go out the room and sighs, i then goes to the company kitchen and made boss meal, as soon as i finished making i quickly goes to the boss room and said " boss here's youre meal " i then puts the meal in the table,

as i were about to leave i felt sudden pain in the back fell to the floor and fainted, i opened my eyes and saw boss calling my name, i closed my eyes and started to see a white place and i said "where am i? " i saw a bench and there's james and a girl with a baby laughing so happily i started to think "is this my fate? to be left alone? " and then i turned my back and saw my mom, me and james

and i heard mom says "stop this nonsense kian!! if you go with hin youre no longer part of this family! " and my old self says " then its a goodbye mom " he took james hands and leave, and i said while crying "what is this? why are you showing me this? ". i soon then wake up and saw boss beside me checking papers, he saw me and said "how are you feeling? "im ok now boss sorry for interrupting you " its ok, the doctor says youre suffering fatigue? did you sleep well last night? "no sir i had a night mare so i couldn't sleep " well then i should be leaving now " ok boss thank you " then i saw boss leave and think that the girl he will love will be so lucky.

*ring ring ring*

the school bell rang and everyone started to leave the canteen, I pulled my phone from my pocket to check the time luckily I have no class so i headed the schools rooftop and there I ate my lunch.

After I finished eating I saw a boy running from the school gate, he ran so fast until he bumped into the teacher but unlucky of him

he bumped to the head teacher I saw the teacher scolding him while his kneeling at the ground and then the teacher pointed at my position, the boy looked up and saw me he gets up after the teacher scolded him and headed in the entramce....he must been punished hahaha good for him.

I sat down with my head leaning at the wall looking at the sky, I heard footstep's getting near so I looked but unluckily i bumped into his BONY "hey!! get your **** out of my face!! "uhmm your the one whos sticking it " I pushed him so hard but hes still standing in front of my face!! " how could a **** face like him still standing " I stood up and did A face to face with him but little do I know that hes so f****ng tall!! I mean im 5"2 but hes so tall like 6"3 "your strong huh let's test how strong your bony is **** face " I stepped back and tried to punch his bony but he caught my hand "hey what are you trying to do lil guy touch my **** huh? " he pushed me to the wall and held my both hands into the wall "HEY!! my hands!! let go you **** face!! " oh why would I? I just caught a fish " I starred at his face with my flaming eyes "ugh hes so strong"

luckily the teacher who scolded him came up the rooftop. "hey you two!! what are you two doing? " he quickly let go of my hands and started acting like nothing the teacher at me and said "you dont you have classes "sorry sir but i dont have classes this time. ill be going now "ok you may go now" I looked at him with my flaming eyes and whispered "were not done yet " he smirked and rolled hed eyes......

hah?!! how could he! hes so dead.

Classes are going to start soon so i have to go. I walked through the hall way and saw thay boy entering the room at the front I took a peek at the window but hw noticed me and smirked "tsk so arrogant wait till get you embarassed **** head " I stopped peeking and entered my own room.

*breaktime*

I always eat my food alone at the rooftop of the school, but this time im not alone hes sitting at the wall and esting hes food to.

I looked at him but hes eyes is so sharp to always notice me "whats up with his eyes?!! why are they so sharp?! "

I wish I could still live so I can be with you. everynight and day thats the only prayer I wished to god, but is it just me whos still holding in our relationship. you said that you wont hurt me, but what have you done?. every time you go out and see someone else it makes my whole body hurt. those thoughts entered my mind as if a bird thats been set free but still chained, there's so many things I would like to ask you but who am I to give you a question that is non sense to your ears.

hospital..

the doctor came and gave me the receipt of my medicines, I kinda feel lonely cause the one who told me to be by myside, is now in others arms. tears fell from my eyes as soon as the doctor go.

I saw the canteen I always eat when I was a child, mom would always take me there when I was a child. I walked towards the canteen and soon found out it changed, "sigh.. it is true everything change". but still I ordered my favorite food. so many change like the wallpaper and the manager, I sat beside the large window where you can see the road and the cafe we used to date, whispered "what happened to us"

My order arrived, as soon as i recieve the food I walked of of the canteen. seeing couples walking by the snow while holding hands make me feel jealous. and then my whole body feels numb I grabbed unto the glass trying to make myself steady and slowly walked, someone held my back and said "are you ok?" I was shocked cause the person holding me is my boss. cause of shock I lost conciusnes.

I woke up in my house wearing my robe, I was shocked cause as I remember I was wearing my clothes, and I looked at the kitchen and saw food prepared, I then notices that theres a note at plate it says "eat and go to the hospital for your medicines". I ate the food and decided to go to the hospital early.

I made an appointment to the nearest hospital and took a check up. the doctor came and said "please wait for one day before the results to come out" yes doctor, thank you". I came out of the doctors room.

few hrs later. I came at the company and ask for 1 week leave, luckily its approved. I left the company and did my daily routines.

morning...

I woke up and prepared breakfast, well the same food everyday, egg and rice. I finished my food and washed the dishes. after I cleaned the house, I gone out to the hospital.

I came to the hospital and followed up my lab results. a few hrs later the results came out, the doctor called me. he looked at the papers and said with hes eyes down " sir kian, im so sorry but, you have multiple myeloma" w-was it seroius?" uhmm well, yes. multiple myeloma is a type of cancer which is the target is your bone marrow" and the long discussion went on. I came out of the room crying, thinking what will happen to me in the future or should I say do I still have future.