it was July 12 2024 I was coming from Gendo place (Dad glory) where I use to smoke one of my area brothers and I went to skilbanj shop where I plug my phone so I could read my comics story as I used to read it very day then a notification pop up that you could be a writer well this I not the first time it showed up but this very moment something came up like a desire for something and trigger me you can do it and I click it and started write and as I was write alot of idea started coming to my mind then I said to myself why don't I let people know my story since I have being think of give up ending very things maybe be alot of people will be people, people like siblings and dad it was only my mother that as being a should from the beginning to the end she is the only one that has always being there for me one of the reason I have not kill myself yet and I also fear hell after all the suffer I have suffer I this life that make me to kill myself and I will still get to go to hell for kill myself and that one of the reason I don't do what my mate are doing yahoo ( they deceive urself na money ritual) though I try but it a story of another day it is not the story for today I said to myself.

As was writing I think am I writing for people to read or am just talking to myself claiming writing but one thing I believe it that I can do it to because I have always wanted to do something make an impact to this world wanted my story to be heard to wanted to show those that have give up on me that nothing is impossible for God one of the reason that kept me going still today small boy with big thinks then I slim to myself as I think of this (a small with big bigger thinking's) because at this moment I was angry with one of my friends Abe he is a Bic man so In the afternoon I ask him to get me loud since he has a motorcycle 🏍️ it will be easy for him to get it since the one they are selling in my area is not good and on my way here he saw me himself and stop me telling me to wait for him at that time the time is 8:40 and now it 9:31 and my mom will very angry now even as at 8:40 am late already and now it 9:31 tell me why I will not get angry

see my mom is now calling am in soup already but because of the thing I send him I can't go home yet and I have called him his number is not reachable what should I do I ask myself, as I was thinking of that he called me again I stand up to go and meet him fuck this guy he is a were (madman in my language) he's on the Bic carrying passengers fuck doesn't he know am late I ask myself then I think let me continue writing but I should at least stand up from where I stand in front of skilbanj shop and move to the main road I saw a small phone on the floor I picked it up immediately and off it as Omo ogbon I will decision what to do with it later but right now nothing can disturb my writing and I put it i my pocket I don't know if this night blessings or what should I say and my friend arrive and I was telling him what he did can you believe he can't even apologize instead started arguing with me and the funniest part is that he didn't even get what I send him now I have to go and get it myself now at oloke at 9:53 I swear this guy is were, on our way there I decide to go through all the things I have been writing so he went ahead to get it since we re almost there and he comes back he said I will give him part of my smoke I said no ( thinking to myself if I give you I most be a big fool) I check the time it was 10:00 dot I started walking faster I felt him behind than later he came sitting on a Bic probably one of is colleagues from Bic man he pick me up and when we get to his place he drop and think I will get off the Bic to with him then I said to the Bic man please can you drop me at oke - ode (my house junction) please and he said yes when I get there I jump off and started running to my house on getting home and gate was locked what will I do now I think should I jump the fence or knock the gate it already 10:17 but if I jump now how will I get soup to eat the food my mom has prepared already for me as I was thinking I shake the gates a little then I decide to jump the fence I had a sound it was my mom opening the door of their flats because we are using a separated flats that's why I was thinking how will I get the soup to eat because she will have already put my food in my own flat as I have known immediately she opened the door she started complaining why do you come home so late I have slept already I wake up I slept again I wake up all because of you why are you so late why are you so stubborn I have talked to you beg you not come late again you did not hear next time you come late I will not open the door for you I don't even know what to say to her I went straight inside and go and pick my food up to give her the plate so she can give me my soup Omo it is efo riro that why I loved her, her soup is the best and now it's time for me to eat and I can't eat without watching a movie or Reading so I think I will have to stop here today and continue the main reason I wanted to write tomorrow.

So it happened that after eaten I watched some movie and play games and slept the next day the immediately I woke up with the thinking my mom is still angry with me, I go to her greeted her very well showed her the phone i saw on the floor, she said what re you going to do with it, it better you return it, ohh ok I will return it I said leaving her with what she was doing I know she was still angry with me so I was looking for what to do to pleased her. in front of my house there something grass in front of the house and my mom has told me to clear it before so I saw it as an opportunity.

As I was about it finish it my brother came says to my mom, mom this is 9:30 a.m. you haven't feed your chicken ( we own a small farm I manage my dad's pigs while my mom owns layers and my brother bead broilers) I have stoped and go to farm after I finished my duty I go to my mom and help her with the shit those chickens as done (if you about poultry layers cage) all just I impressed my mom when I was through with it I go back to the grass I was cutting before, well all I did,I didn't do it for nothing because my mom was moved already she came to me asking me to stop working or I should come and eat first, I told her I will eat when am done with what am doing but if I could get some snacks (popofo) because then it was already 1 :21pm I told her because I still have plenty of work to do like watch the bathroom and wc for the but flat so she went to get it she has no choice I have make her happy already, immediately she goes my dad walked up to saying he want to go and get menme (beans cake) that did I want I said yes so he sees that as opportunity to talk to me because am someone that hate I talk he said the way you used to reply someone sometimes is very bad, I replied when am not happy what did you want me to say or what reply did you expect from angry man😡 immediately I said that he felt me with what I was doing the I have finished with the grass cutting I was raking it with my hands my mom returns I reported what happened that this is what my dad says she said it true you don't know how to talk and I give her the same reply I gave my dad what better response did you expect from a angry man she didn't say anything again and give me my snacks and went inside, when she went inside I asked myself did both of them don't hear what I just said they don't even ask me what I mean or what I was saying not to talk of saying how do you feels I said to myself well nobody understands, nobody really cares , nobody can feel what I feel even if I tell them they can only listen but can never felt all the pains I was feeling.

Talking of pains come to think of it since my childhood or since I can remember I have never for once felt joy as in i don't think I have never been really really happy, this is what I mean from child I have suffered from romanticism and meares-irlen so I used to have problems with spellings and my dad is the one that use to teachs me but I don't know if it was his ignorance or he didn't care every times it is beating for books or anything irrelevant, there was a time I remember he asked me to pronounce spoon I was pronouncing schonu, I was flog like bad with cable wire I will surely tell you about it more, so when I was done I went inside to eat take my bath and ready to go out when my mom's come to ask for the remaining 1k I owned her from the 2k I borrowed I told her I want to sell this phone but because you ask me to return it I want to return it and there is no place for me to get money at that moment I was ready to really return it but she replied maybe you should sell it then I said no I will return it but when she mentioned sell it my mind as change immediately because I have lost my phone like 7 times now and for once nobody as ever return it back so why should I return the one in see, in my mind I have determine to sell it but I don't disclose it to my mom so I went to my friend Abe show him the phone that I want to sell it 6k and he brought it which he doesn't no I saw the phone in front of his house and the money I can't even explain how I spent it well I still have 2k with him.

on Sunday when I woke up I sat down and think about my life is this now I will continue with my life how can I make a change in my life how can I be someone great what can I do to make money then I thought why don't I go back to my boss and continue to learn furniture work from him when I finish thinking I went to farm then one of those who used to work for my boss called him (boss akin) saying there have missed me at shop and I told him I will come and visit them at shop we end the call and I continue with my work then my phone rang again it was my boss cousin expensive black, he called I chech upon me at first I thought maybe there are together then I realize it can be possible because my boss as chase him away we both talked for a while before ending the call. In the evening I do say I have told went to the shop on my way he asked me to get him pawpaw a bag when I get to the shop he asked me my I felt I explain to him how can someone to two years to learn work and didn't practice all we do here is tape board then he said I should have explained to him instead of leaving I thought about it and see it true so I said I will come on Monday morning to talk to my boss so we smoke together and I felt.

On Monday morning I make sure i woke up early around 6:30 so I could get to shop early before my boss get to shop, I plan to wake up 5:30am but as we all know man makes plan Gods fulfill it, so I woke up late than my normal planned schedule immediately I get up I prayed after that I told my mom that I will be leaving home at 8:00 so whatever we want to do let's do it fast you know I'm going to shop today because she's the only one I told about me going back to my boss so she agreed and we went to the farm I was doing my work when she left so she could prepare the food I will eat before I leave, To cut it short I finished around 8 30 before I could get to shop it already to 10, when I get to shop I saw everybody even my boss as had four new apprentice it was only my boss and rido (rido one of those who used to teaches us work that my boss hired that like akin) that is not around so I waited for him to comes back (my boss) while waiting I chatted with the rest of my colleagues while talking I predict that this is what he would say when he sees me it was about 1 one hour later rido firstly comes back about like ten minutes my boss came too immediately he saw me enhenh what happened what did you want just like I have predicted he said to me, sir please sir I came to see you I said, see me about what he replied, sir since the day I have left here things have not be the same both my sister's have turn me down saying they want nothing to do with me and when I felt you as me to bring 20,000 naira and that what I have being looking for, oh oh he said but where is the money now, I don't have it yet than why did you come here he asked just to talk to you and explain things to you he didn't even allow me to explain very well when he pulled me by hand and drag me to the front of his shop if you don't have the money don't come here again he says and I felt.

On way home I started think how did I get here and if I die now who will tell my story and water started fall down from my eyes because this life people don't about those that don't have money and if not for the stupid mistakes I make when I was still in school that made in not to finish my education if I have will I come to your shop to learn work alot of thinking as I was going back tracking from challenge to sanyo in oke ode then I started to remember when I started to learn work now it started.

it started back then 2019 when I was purpose to graduate from when I had no where to hide or go to after 2 years of not going home, when I get home I was dispress not able to think straight again even I myself know the depression is getting me mad and none of my family is helping because I have wasted their money because I went to a private university but when I was in school I couldn't even concentrate on schooling all I could think of is money I want to make it take of my mother then my dad used to beat my mom every so that makes me want to hustle for money and take my mom away from my dad there was no peace in the house at all but like I said man's plan God fulfill, all my efforts was wasted and I have to go back home, the home l left that I don't want to ever come back the that I want to take my mom away from is where am back to. so when I was home with my depression nobody care all they do is insult abuse and make me feel less human that was then I started smoking.

so there was a day I smoke Colo's I went home misbehaving and I really mess up that day so the next day I dad came to me to beat me as he normally do, I was tired of everything already and he came with his own wahala so immediately he touches me I changed it was me than it turn to war I firstly took a turning stick and bang it on his head when it broke I go to do kitchen and carry a stone ( grinding stone the small one) bang it on his head and there was blood very where though he wounded me to but his own his much worst yeah that true I know that what I did is wrong even at that very moment I was hitting me I know it was wrong but I just can't control myself I was filled with angry as at then and that day is Sunday when all the landlord used to do their meeting with blood covers all all his face and body he went their to report what I did but to his surprise nobody no single person blames me because their all know him how he used to do his thing with trouble he was no friend with anybody in the area but still I know what I did is wrong and since I have being begging God for forgiveness their took him to the hospital for treatment when he comes back a day later he asked me to leave the house both me and my mom so we moved to my brother place that when I decision to learn hand work since I have no hope with school again.

All I prayed for now is God to send me an helper that will at least helped me with my schooling back I have tried every possible way I can, try to contact my brother the minister of power Mr bayo adelabu it was wasted of effort I have contact all the celebrate that I know no help it well you send you come I ask myself nobody I even try to contact a friend of mine though we are not that friends we just lived In the same area Mr bolu ojo he's the ambassador for Dior he as not replied yet I just wish he did. God please save me before I make the wrong decision.