I DON'T WANT TO BE LOVED
Chapter 0: Prologue
Hello my new novel is here.
Here sat the most humble of the kingdom come and it was no place for the queen of a nation. She was of noble identity, but she was trapped and she did not know when she’d see the light again.
In fact, she had long given up the desire to escape and hope to survive. From the time the unborn child in her womb died and the time her husband abandoned her was the moment she died from the inside.
The prison door opened and a woman dressed in baroque clothing walked in.
She was wrinkled with fanciful jewelry and ornaments that were befitting of a queen.
Near the prison bar rested a chair and the noble-like woman sat on it.
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
*She looked up*
？？？
*The noblewoman’s fiery eyes stared at Rihannan with unknown desire*
Unlike the words that flowed out of the the noblewoman’s mouth, her countenance was one of ridicule and criticism as opposed to one of compassion.
？？？
I told you, sister… you needed to step back and give way to me. This would not have happened had you listened.
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
*She who listened to her half-sister without expression smiled in dismay*
If she had chosen to back away quickly from him, none of the tragedy may have never occurred and she’d never have fallen from grace either.
But it was all his fault.
She loved him. And that was also her fault.
？？？
Sister, your throat will be slit open tomorrow. He no longer cares. You’ll die a miserable death as the crowd watches your tragic death. Your head will be severed, dropping to the ground and rolling over the dirt. Your blood will taint the ground whole. As your dearest sister, I can’t bear to watch that.
Leticia, Rihannan’s half-sister, raised a small glass of bottle in her hand and passed it to Rihannan. Licking her lips, she continued.
Leticia (Rihannan’s half-sister)
You don’t want others to watch your decapitation, do you? Give in. This is the last option to protect my sister’s honor and the last consideration I can give to you.
The noblewoman’s purpose was to get rid of Rihannan quickly and oh she truly looked forward to this very moment for the longest of times. She’d even prepared Rihannan’s fall from the shadows long before.
But what was the point of it if Leticia did not receive the reaction she expected? It was all over and Rihannan had nothing left, but…
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
Yes, thank you.
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
*She reached for the glass of bottle in Leticia’s hand*
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
*She entangled her fingers around the bottle*
This would be her end. Whatever Leticia’s purpose was, it was not so bad to die alone like this, Rihannan thought.
In fact, she hoped to meet the hands of death ever so quickly.
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
*A bitter smile spread on Rihannan’s lips*
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
Thanks to you, this last road I take will be comfortable. I’ll drink this well.
Leticia (Rihannan’s half-sister)
…why are you pretending to be noble until the very end?!
Leticia (Rihannan’s half-sister)
*She gritted her teeth and shouted. Her eyes which should have celebrated in joyous victory fluttered with a deep-seated anger*
Leticia (Rihannan’s half-sister)
Why? Why aren’t you frenzied with madness? Why don’t you cry for help? Why do you pretend to be so calm when you’re not?!
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
Is that what I’m doing? Why? What’s the point?
Leticia (Rihannan’s half-sister)
Because I feel… I can’t stand your hypocrisy!
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
You’ve already taken everything from me. My father, my husband, and now, my humble position. Is that not enough?
Leticia (Rihannan’s half-sister)
Don’t be ridiculous. I took it from you? No, it was mine from the very beginning. Mine! If it weren’t for you, they would have belonged to me long ago. You don’t know that?
One day, at the age of twelve, Rihannan’s half-sister suddenly appeared and grabbed a hold of all that she owned, leaving her with nothing. Her family, the man she loved, and the child she could never have… all gone.
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
*She closed her mouth and said no more*
She was tired, too tired to argue. She only wanted to end it all. That was her only wish.
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
I hope you’ll let me rest even in my death.
Leticia (Rihannan’s half-sister)
…you’re still going to put on air until the very end.
Leticia (Rihannan’s half-sister)
*She rose from her seat, donning a cruel smile over her beautiful face*
Leticia (Rihannan’s half-sister)
This is where you’ll die. It’s the perfect ending for you.
Leticia (Rihannan’s half-sister)
*After she left the prison, darkness and silence pervaded the room once again*
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
*She opened the lid of the glass bottle and drank the content’ without a moment’s hesitation*
The medicine quickly spread all over her body.
Her guts felt like it’d been torn apart and she vomited red blood countless of times.
Soon after, the tingling sensation in her arms and legs disappeared and slowly, her heartbeat faded.
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
*She laid on the cold, hard ground and waited for peace and serenity to come*
At the very last moment of her life, the face of someone she loved came to mind. Tears streamed down her cheek.
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
？？？
{It’s a miserable end Rihannan… you were the last person I expected to betray me… you stupid thing…}
Rihannan Alessin (past/fallen queen)
*Her eyes closed gradually and she breathed her last*
If there was a next life, all would be different.
She would never love again nor would she give her pity.
But her eyes opened again.
I hope you guys like this story
Chapter 1: Call for a lawyer
To Rihannan’s surprise, she was twelve again.
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*She had awakened from a deep slumber and noticed she lay on the bed of a mansion, the place she lived in until she was married off*
And her body, it was that of a small child.
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*She rolled off the bed and looked at the mirror*
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*Her eyes opened wide at the sudden understanding that she was twelve once more –– the time of her mother’s death*
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
I’ve come back to the past?
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*But she shook her head in denial*
She could not believe it.
That or she’s seeing her past before crossing the river of death.
But by the time she saw the rising sun,
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*She was forced to accept her reality*
She was back. She was really back. She was twelve.
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*It was an unbelievable reality and she sat back on the bed and watched the door in silence*
If all was true, the door would open and her maid, Mary, who took care of her since she was a baby would walk right in. Mary’d often wake her every morning and she never missed a single day ‘till she was kicked out of the mansion with a false charge.
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
Miss?
Before long, the door opened and Mary entered the room.
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
*She gave a startled look at the sight of the young Rihannan wide and awake first thing in the morning*
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
Miss, have you been up all night? Oh my goodness, you haven’t slept all night!
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
*She quickly ran to Rihannan and stroked her pale face*
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
It’s because of your mother, right? Don’t be so sad, Miss. This’ll ruin your health…
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
Mary…
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
Yes, Miss?
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*She looked at Mary, the woman she hadn’t seen in a long while*
After the death of her mother, her father took the child of another woman into the house and?
Rihannan gradually became isolated.
Mary was one of the two people who stood by her side ‘till the very end.
However, Mary was eventually driven away on the charge of the theft of her half-sister’s jewels.
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
I missed you…
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
Miss?
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
Mary, I really missed you *She said hoarsely*
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
*She took a quiet, deep breath. Her warm, brown eyes carefully examined the young Rihannan and concluded that the child who’d recently lost her mother was in a state of shock that she’d gone and said strange things*
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
Oh, poor child. You had a scary dream last night, didn’t you?
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
*She swept Rihannan into her arms affectionately and caressed her fine black hair*
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
It’s alright. You have your father and I. Don’t worry. Everything will be alright.
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*Embraced in the arms of Mary, she bit her lip recalling the past*
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
{No, that’s not true. Father will bring her in and he’ll take everything away from me…}
When the memories of her past came flooding in, Rihannan’s heart was wrought with pain.
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
There, there. The Count will arrive soon. Though I don’t know why he went off in a hurry soon after the funeral, all will be alright. The Count will always be with you.
Mary did not know, but Rihannan already knew he ran off in a hurry.
He went to pick up his illegitimate daughter before he had the chance to see his dead wife buried six-feet-under. It was as if he had waited for this very moment to come.
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
Then, Miss, wash your face first…
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
Mary, before that, would you call a lawyer?
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
*Surprised, she raised her brows. She looked at Rihannan’s ice-blue eyes and asked* A lawyer? You mean Ned?
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
Yes. Call Lawyer Ned.
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
Why do you need a lawyer all of a sudden?
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
Mary, we’re running out of time. I have something to check with him before my father comes back. Please, get in touch with him right away and tell him to see me.
To Mary, lawyers were the kind of people she found difficult to understand, much so the nobles.
And as for Rihanna, no matter how educated she was, she’d have a difficult time understanding what she’d been taught until she grew of age.
And so far, Mary hadn’t recalled a particular encounter between the Miss and the lawyer that was worth remembering.
Ned was always busy dealing with Count Alessin, the owner of the mansion.
So why does a girl like that suddenly want to speak to a lawyer?
But regardless, Mary had no intention to refuse the young lady’s earnest request.
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
Alright. I will send someone to see the lawyer. Wait a moment please.
After Mary left the room,
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*She sorted the messy thoughts muddling her mind*
Today was the day after her mother’s funeral and the day her father, Count Alessin, brought in his illegitimate daughter. It was also the day her misfortunes began.
Maybe it was God’s mercy that she returned to the past for a second life.
If that is the case, she won’t pass up on the opportunity the deity provided her.
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*She clenched her lip, ice-blue eyes twinkling with determination*
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Chapter 2: Loveless Marriage
Rihannan’s mother was of noble lineage from the neighboring country of Crichton.
Both Arundell and Crichton were two countries that shared the same language, writing system, and the long-standing marriage alliance between nobles and royals.
And as of recent, there exists a track record of Arundell and Crichton joining hands and fighting the same enemy together.
When her mother was young, she came to Arundell, the neighboring country, at the invitation of her cousin and fell in love with a young man at first sight.
The only problem was his lowly status, and in addition, he already had a lover.
For these reasons alone, her parents actively tried to stop the marriage, but she was adamant and fiery and stubborn.
She was resilient and had a warrior’s heart.
Many men had fallen for her because of her carefree attitude, but she only had eyes on that young man –– she wanted to be with that young man.
So her parents made a suggestion.
If the young man were to end his relationship with his old lover and accept the marriage, the Arundell’s would grant him the title of Count and the Crichton’s would purchase him a huge estate and a grand mansion.
After a long back and forth struggle, the young man accepted the offer. It was the only way and the only path.
It was difficult for a low-class aristocrat to refuse the title of “Count” and the huge fortune he’d get, much less rise to fame and reputation through his own means.
It was like a dream, a mirage, an illusion. He would receive it if he were to accept the marriage.
But even then, even then… there was no love in their marriage. It was a one-sided love.
The man never loved his wife. His heart had already been occupied and his wife gradually lost her hope and vigour.
And so when she died of a broken heart, he quickly, without restraint, brought in his illegitimate child that he’d been hiding to his mansion.
Her mother, a commoner, continued her secret love affair even after knowing he was married to another woman.
When she died during childbirth, the man grew compassionate towards her, and was ridden with guilt, guilt that he was not able to raise his own child.
But now that his wife was now dead and buried six-feet-under, he was no longer chained from his cage.
Reagan Alessin (Count Alessin)
Hello, Leticia, this is your sister, Rihannan.
Young Leticia was distracted by the sight of the grand and splendid mansion, a view she had never seen before.
Leticia Alessin(Rihannan’s half-sister)
*With lovely rosy hair and red eyes, she greeted Rihannan with a bright smile*
Leticia Alessin(Rihannan’s half-sister)
Hello, sister. It’s nice to meet you. My name is Leticia.
All this happened the day after the funeral of Rihannan’s mother. Her face immediately turned white as Leticia greeted her newfound half-sister.
Reagan Alessin (Count Alessin)
Rihannan, what are you doing? You should say hello.
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*At her father’s quiet urging, she clenched her small fist*
She was usually a quiet, well-behaved child. She’d never once disobeyed her parents, and she’d always choose to follow the opinions of others rather than remain stubborn and adamant like her mother…
But the current and sudden situation seemed so strange to Rihannan.
Why was she suddenly entering Rihannan’s house and where had her mother lived all this time?
And if that was true, then her father had been seeing other women while he was with Rihannan’s mother.
And here he was standing before her not making any excuses.
Leticia Alessin(Rihannan’s half-sister)
*She bowed her head as Rihannan failed to give a warm greeting*
Leticia Alessin(Rihannan’s half-sister)
You don’t seem to like me… or that I don’t belong here…
Reagan Alessin (Count Alessin)
No, that’s not true… Leticia, no…
Reagan Alessin (Count Alessin)
*The father’s countenance softened seeing the child’s tearful face*
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*His face was full of love and gentleness, and the look on her father’s face which she had never seen before broke her heart to pieces*💔💔
Reagan Alessin (Count Alessin)
*He gave Rihannan a good scolding*
Reagan Alessin (Count Alessin)
Rihannan, are you belittling Leticia because of her lowly status? It seems that you’re just as arrogant as your mother! Good. If you can’t accept her, then so be it…!
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*She wanted to protest and say that it wasn’t true, but… before she could, he warmly embraced Leticia in his arms*
That, too, was the love Rihannan never had.
Reagan Alessin (Count Alessin)
*Her father led Leticia to his room with her chin resting on his large, broad shoulders*
Leticia Alessin(Rihannan’s half-sister)
*She stared blankly at Rihannan, and slowly a smile crept on Leticia’s face*
It was the sort of clever smile that said to rethink her position in the mansion.
Everything changed from that very moment.
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
Miss, Lawyer Ned is here.
Mary’s voice rang and Rihannan awakened from the recollection of her past
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*As she looked up, Mary pointed to the door*
Mary(Maid of Rihannan)
Miss, he’s waiting for you.
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
*She smiled softly*
Rihannan Alessin(12 years old)
Yes, we have a lot to discuss.
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