MY SONG = YOUR SIN

Song No.0

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 ...It hurts.

So this is how it feels like to get rammed by a truck. Everything hurts. My head. My body. My legs...

My heart.

My goddamn heart crushed not only by the weight of the truck but also by my lover.

...Or should I say my ex-lover? That playboy who plays around even when he is in a relationship with me. The fking bastard.

Is it not enough that I've sacrificed everything for him? Is it not enough that I’ve given away all of me just so he can get his greatest wish fulfilled? I’ve thrown away my family and my future just to be with him; the action that sparked the rage of my father and the tears of my mother when they know the bright future I should be having is no more because of him. I despise myself for disappointing them but I can't deny you your wishes.

Was everything worth this ending I got?

You said that you will always be with me, stand beside me. You said that you will never betray me. You said you will never abandon me should the society and everyone else shunned me. The promises you made is as empty as the mansion we shared back when we are still together. The mansion we bought to celebrate the success of our first album. It's a big-and comfortable-place but we hardly living there since our job demands our presence almost 24/7 of our time. I wonder how does it feels to be able to cuddle together with you with a cup of hot coffee and tea in our hands next to the fireplace during a cold winter day?

I remember the times when we struggled to live after we moved to this place. Said times were hard as we barely get enough money to buy food for our stomach, paying the bills and the rent of our small, 1 room apartment. Oftentimes we didn't have enough to eat. It was a hard time yet we still persist to continue living and trying to make your dream come true.

It was your ultimate dream, is it not? To be able to perform not only in front of the crowd in the bar we work but to the world as well. To show them the music you made and to inspire people with the lyrics you come up with. It was not an easy feat but all the hard work pays off now that you’re one of shiniest star in the music industry.

You told me I was the reason of your- no, our success. It was all possible because of my voice that I lend you for our band. Your songs will not have any meaning if I’m not the one who sing them. Said songs will not be as alive, as sentimental or as any comparison you’ve come up with if my voice isn’t the one that accompany it. Do you know that your words made me flustered? Have you got any idea how happy I am when you said them to me along with that big, goofy grin plastered on your face? And you blush as well. You don’t always blush but when you do your red tinted cheek is really adorable.

Well, screw you.

Damn you for making me feel that happy. Damn you for making me believe that all those sweet words you whispered to me are true. Damn you for making me feel that everything I’ve thrown away is not worth the life I’m living after knowing you cheated on me.

Damn you for making me love you this much.

What did I do to deserve this kind of ending? How did I wronged you until you dare to show off with your new lover on my birthday? Was it fun to invite me to celebrate at our favorite place and then slap me with facts that I’m dumped? Were the 6 years we spent together means nothing to you? Was it fun to toy with me and my feelings and trampled on it once you are bored playing with it?

Is it satisfying for you to be the reason of my death?

….Yeah. I’m already dead.

I’m dead yet I don’t know why I’m standing here, staring at my cold body resting in a black casket; a beautifully carved casket of my favorite color. How serene the expression on my face is. It’s as if I died in peace and not in rage after being cheated by the person who claimed to always love me. I’m not surprised seeing the cheating bastard here in my funeral but that sad face of his sickened me.

How dare you come knowing that you’re the reason of this event? Right now I want nothing but to punch that handsome face of yours. If you think sitting there beside the rest of our band members looking defeated,

looking dejected and having red, puffy eyes will move me, think again. Know that no matter what you do, I will never fall for it again.

I will never forgive you. I will--- Huh?

Did I just witnessed someone punching the cheating bastard right on his face and knocked him down onto the floor? The place is in chaos now since everyone is trying to stop the unknown guy from beating the blonde-haired star into a pulp and to peel him off from the star who is starting to retaliate back.

"This is all your fault!" the assailant exclaimed. "This is your fking fault!! You damn cheating asshole!!”

Amidst the hectic crowd of shouts and people running around, I was stunned. Stunned for several reasons; my ex getting beaten (he deserves it anyway), my quiet funeral that suddenly transformed into a brawl stage and at the complete stranger who showed up unannounced just to hit my ex.

Who is this guy? Do I know him? But I don’t think I've met him before. Do my ex or any of the band members know him? It doesn’t look like that though. This funeral is held in private and only attended by my ex, the band members, my best friend (my personal consultant; the sweet, sweet girl I can always count on), the manager and some staff from the studio.

Who the hell is this guy? How did he entered the hall? What is he doing here? Why did-----Ouch!

I feel a twinge of pain in my head that suddenly escalated into something more excruciating. Grabbing my head with both hands, I kneel down, squeezing my eyes shut as I try to endure the sharp pain and trying to focus back at the scene in front of me. The stranger is trying so hard to land another punch on my ex’s face. Did he has something against blonde-haired people? My ex is— Ouch!

…..What is happening? I can’t see clearly when squinting and the throbbing pain in my head is not helping when it becomes even painful than before. I’m already dead. It shouldn’t be this way…

Argh!! The pain is agonizing!

Someone…anyone…H—

MY SONG \= YOUR SIN

Song No.1

Note: Italics words - Thoughts

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“D…Doctor! H-He’s…he’s waking up!!”

...H-Huh?

“Let the doctor through, dear. He needs to examine him and see if he is really awake.”

“Out of the way, big bro. I can’t see!”

“This is not an exhibition to begin with, Gray!”

…What is happening? First the headache…now it’s this?

“Ah, it is true that he’s starting to wake—please don’t push me or I’ll accidentally stab your eye with this pen.”

“You should put it down during examination first.”

“I can’t write my report like that, sis.”

Ugh…my head…it’s too noisy…

“Hey, big bro! Look! Look! His eyebrows are knitting together!”

“Oh no…Is he in pain? Is my baby in pain? He is, isn’t he? Do something, Haruka!”

“Like I said, stop pushing—stop shaking me!”

…Ah, damn it…Can you all…be quiet…

“Gray, move away from the bed! You’re not supposed to sit there!”

“I just want to make sure he’s really awake, big bro. Plus I’ll sit where I want and you can do nothing about it.”

“Don’t start it, Gray!”

….I told you…

“Me? What did I do?”

….can you all just…

“Give it a rest, both of you! Your mother is worried enough for him. Don’t add more trouble here.”

“I did nothing!”

“Yes, you did!”

….I say…

“You’re just trying to pin all the blame on me when I did absolutely nothing!”

“You’re sitting on a sick person! Is that not a wrong thing to do?”

“I’m just worried—”

“FOR PETE’S SAKE SHUT UP!!”

The loud voice of the brunette young man silenced the room. All eyes are on said man who was cradling his head with both hands while sitting on the bed he was previously lying on unconscious.

“Quit with the shouting, will you?“ the young man continued. “My head is throbbing and all your shouting is making it worse. Why do you have to shout out loud like that anyway? God, this is worse than the microphone system malfunctioning on stage…,” he added, massaging the temple of his forehead. “Damn it. I need something to ease the pain.”

Grumbling, the brunette tilted his head up to see the people who were making ruckus around him. He was greeted with 5 pairs of eyes that are staring and gawking at him like he was the turkey on a table during Thanksgiving Day.

“What the hell? Who are you guys?” the brunette asked when none of the faces in front of him is familiar. “Where am I? Wait. I thought I’m already—Omph!!”

The rest of his words were cut off when one of the unfamiliar people pounced on him.

“W-what…?” the brunette stuttered, confused of what is happening and who is the pink-haired person that is hugging him. "What are you doing?"

“Aww, yeahh!! About time you wake up, Luc!”

“Come on, Gray," a stern voice approached the two on the bed. “Can’t you see he’s still weak? Plus you should let mother check on him first,” the owner of said voice, a blonde-haired man who was standing beside the bed next to the pair sighed as he adjusted his glasses. “Stop being rude.”

“Party pooper.”

“Oh, quit being a baby,” the blonde flicked the forehead of the pink-haired man. He chuckled when the man rubbed his forehead. “Mother, it seems like Luc is okay.”

The brunette turned to a pair that is approaching his bed; a brunette man, much older that the other two man and a wavy, blonde-haired woman who seems to be just a few years younger than the older man. The brunette young man frowned; he did not recognize any of them and that include the blonde-haired doctor who was trailing behind the pair. Is this some kind of a show I'm signed up without me knowing?

The woman smiled at the brunette young man as she stood in front of him. “How are you feeling, Luc? I hope nothing hurts…too bad?” she asked with teary eyes.

“Uh…I…I’m okay?” the young brunette answered, hesitant of what other thing to do aside answering her question. He was never good with crying woman.

The pink-haired man ruffled the brunette’s hair. “You’re a tough cookie to begin with. Of course you’re okay.”

The blonde-haired man cleared his throat. “Hardly. Falling into the ocean when you can’t swim is really dangerous. He’s lucky that he didn’t drown or anything serious.”

…Huh? “What did you said?” the brunette young man turned to the blonde beside him. “Sea? Drown?”

“Don't you remember?” it was the older blonde-haired man who answered. “You slipped when you’re trying to take a picture of the sunset. You’re lucky that your cousin came to the area and noticed something is wrong when she saw only the camera on the rock where you stand while taking the picture. She's the one who came running to us and informed us of your disappearance.”

"Just so you know I'm the one who dived in and pulled you out, bro," the pink-haired man grinned.

“…I did?” the crease on the young brunette forehead deepened. “But I thought a truck hit me and I’m…dead…?”

“What? No!” the pink-haired man replied. “We’re having a family event-well, actually only us and one of our cousin’s-and you’re off to do stuffs while waiting for the food to be ready.

“Luc, you don’t remember?” the younger blonde-haired man interjected. He was concerned that the young brunette cannot recalled their get-together.

The brunette young man shrugged, shaking his head at the blonde-haired man's question.

“Oh no. Did something happen to your memory? Did you hit your head on something?” the woman gasped. She turned to the doctor behind her. “Haruka, what happened?”

“Hmm…is it amnesia?” the doctor-Haruka-said as he walked closer to the bed and the brunette young man. The pink haired man released him and move to stand beside the blonde-haired young man. “Let me take a look at you, Luc,” he continued and pull out a mini flashlight from his white coat’s pocket.

…Well, whatever happened here is odd. I thought they know who I am when they called me Luc but seems that I was mistaken. The brunette kept still as the doctor examines him. He opens and closes his mouth as instructed, blinking uncomfortably when the light of the mini flashlight shone on his eyes and finally after checking completed heaved a sigh and scratched the back of his head. “So, uh, what did you find?” he quietly asked the doctor. There better not be anything serious going on here or I'll freak out harder than that time when an audience throw a panty on the stage while we're performing.

"That's a good question," the doctor said as he pocketed his mini flashlight, standing still with his hands in his coat's pockets and stared down at the young brunette. "Let me ask you something first; do you know who I am?"

MY SONG = YOUR SIN

Song No.2

Note: Italics words - Thoughts

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“….Huh?” What kind of question is that? No, wait. I don’t even know anyone in this room. Perhaps I can pretend to have no memories about them…Okay. Let's do this that way. “I…I don't know...I can’t remember,” the brunette young man replied while faking a confused expression and rubbing the back of his head with his left hand.

Everyone in the room-except for the doctor-gasped. The brunette can see the surprise on everyone’s faces; the only woman among them almost fainted-which the young brunette thinks she will fall onto the floor if not for the older brunette beside her who was supporting her with both of his hands-and the other two young adult-in which the young brunette concluded the couple’s children-was staring at him like he was out of his mind.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” the pink-haired young man-Gray-blurted out. “He lost his memories? No way Jose. No freaking way!”

The young blonde-haired man beside Gray inched closer to the bed. “Surely you remember your big brother Josh here, right?” he asked softly, concern lacing his words. “You used to cling to me like a sloth on the tree when you’re still small. You never wanted me to leave you alone. You always caused a scene whenever I tried to leave for school."

I did what? For the record I don’t even have siblings! “Uh, sorry. I don’t remember,” the young brunette answered, shaking his head lightly.

“Then what about your second big bro Gray? We've been to great places and do a lot fun things together! The cooler big bro-still is now-that always treat you those delicious ice-creams whenever you’re upset and punched the bullies who stole your comic book in middle school?”

“What!? So it was you after all, Gray!” Josh smacked the pink-haired’s man head. “How dare you lie and deny it when we asked you about it!”

Gray rubbed his head. “Hey! No one mess with my baby brother and get away with it without getting a piece of my mind!”

“In your case it’s a piece of your punch! Good Lord.”

“They very much deserve it."

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Josh massaged the bridge of his nose, looking defeated. "You're lucky things didn't escalated into something serious back then. Gosh."

"Hehehe—“

“Now boys, be good. You’re scaring your little brother and please mind your unwell mother here,” the older brunette interrupted as he slowly led the woman to a seat across the bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked as he helped said woman sit down.

The woman slowly nodded. “I’m okay, Arthur. I'm just a little shocked. Nothing major.”

“Not surprising when our son is almost drowned and lost his memory,” Arthur sighed. He turned to the blonde-haired doctor. “Anything else other than his lost memory, Haruka?”

“Now aren’t you all taking this a lot calmer than I thought?” the doctor answered. “There's none that I see so far. There’re no major things aside from a few bruises and scratches from the rocks but that’ll heal. His memory is another thing though; I can’t say when will he be able to retrieve it back.”

“It’s okay, Haruka. As long as he is safe, nothing else matter…even though he won’t remember us. He's suffered enough,” the woman said, smiling weakly. “I don’t want to experience that feelings I've had during the past 1 month I'm waiting for him to wake up again..”

“Stella,” Arthur stared at her, tightening his grip on her shoulder. "It's exactly as she said, Haruka; Luc's safety is our priority now. Always have, always will."

The doctor sighed again. “You’re always the calmer-maybe too calm-one between us, sis. But I understand. This past 1 month is agonizing. Monitoring a near-drowned patient in coma is not something I like to do…especially when said patient is my nephew,” he told her with a small smile. “Don’t worry though. He is fine and I know he’ll recover his memory soon.”

“Even if he didn’t, we still love him just as we do before the accident,” Stella said, nodding to the brunette beside her.

Arthur smiled. “Of course, dear. Nothing will change our feelings to our son; with or without his memories.”

“Of course! He’s my precious, darling little brother!” Josh and Gray chorused and immediately glaring at each other as soon as they spoke out. “Don’t you dare copy what I’m saying!” they said-in unison-as they pointed a finger at each other.

The young brunette man on the bed chuckled. This is a weird family. But I guess this situation favors me since I have no clue what is going on now. I’m dead, aren’t I? Getting hit that resulted in broken bones and bleed a lot...Hell, that doesn’t seem to count as ‘few bruises and scratches’ as mentioned by the doctor. Ah, speaking of which… “Uh, e-excuse…me?”

All eyes were on the young brunette. Oh, jeez. “What do you mean 1 month in coma?” he asked, tilting his head a little. “What date it is today?”

Gray was the one who answered him. “Ah, it’s January 12 today. You fall into the sea a month ago and almost drowned. You've been unconscious up until today and Haru---”

The rest of Gray’s words fall on deaf ears as the young brunette froze at the pink-haired man’s explanation of the date. January 12…A month ago was my birthday. It was the last day of our 3 days yearly tour concert. It was the day when my lover cheated on me. And it was the day I got hit by a truck.

...December 12. My birthday. My death day.