Hazel Carlson

I'm going completely insane, just by seeing you with someone else. I want you all to myself now.

Cole Johanson.

*laughs * If I can't get what I want, then you can't get what you want either. I don't want anyone near you except for me. Get that?

What does this mean?

WARNING!!! This book isn't effective on people with psychological problems, but may still make you feel that leave some marks on you. Please proceed with caution. Thanks!

...Psychologically Rouge...

Chapter one : As it all began...

Hazel's POV.

As it all goes on, Cole and i, were childhood sweethearts till he moved out of New Jersey to Washington along with his family. I was never myself after he left. We had no means of communication and that shattered me to pieces. I hoped and prayed every day that, we could see each other again, if not now, then somewhere in the future. When we are all grown up. That's how it is, and how it should be, but I hope it should never be the case at all. Because, I want him by my side again just like before, never to leave each other again...

"Ah...!" I wake up from the nightmare out of breath as if something was after me.

*I dreamt of Cole leaving me again. * I wipe the cool sweat running down my forehead. I turn to the clock, it's 5AM already. I sigh and lay back in bed, staring at the ceiling. As if imagination, his ever handsome face appears in front of me.

"?!" shocked, I raise my hand up and touch his face. He smiles at me and holds my hand on his cheek. I have no idea if this is real or fake, but I don't care about it. I just don't want this to end... It fades away from me and once more I'm broken.

*we'll see each other again, I just know it* I say to myself in reassurance. I turn to the clock and didn't realize how much time passed. I get out of bed and head for the bathroom. I hate Fridays 'cause I got therapy sessions. My mom would always drag me there, just to be sure I haven't lost it yet.

My mom knocks.

"Honey? Are you done?! We're going to be late!"

I roll my eyes and fix up myself before picking up my bag and heading out.

"You took forever in there. Are you okay?" mom asks as if reading my mind. I look at her with a slight frown.

" Am I supposed to be? I can't even look at myself in the mirror without his face engraved on it!"

I let out in frustration, because I know I can't get what I want right now. Mom caresses my cheek softly and gives a weak smile.

" I know how you feel sweetie. It isn't easy to lose the one important person in your life at a very young age but if it's actually for you, then you'll have it."

I sigh and turn to the window and stare at a distance. How would it be like if we were to meet again? Will it make you happy, sad or angry? These are questions I've gotta find answers for, even if it doesn't exist, I will still find the answers.

...Psychologically Rouge~...

  My mom walks me to my therapist's door. I second guessed this whole thing because I never actually felt like I needed one. She would always beg me even at the verge of spilling tears, I just had to do it. Just to make her happy, though I know I won't ever overcome this. The knock on the door is brief and faint, hardly audible enough but the therapist says from the other side of the door.

" Come in, please."

Mom glances over at me before going in first then I follow suite. I'm met with a middle-aged woman with clear blues, hiding behind the glasses she has on. Her slender figure greets me as she stands up to greet us.

*she's beautiful and sexy at such an age? Fascinating. * I say to myself.

Her smile is one which men could go crazy to see it again. She extends her hand to me after she shook mom's hand. I look her in the eyes and a smirk cross my lips. I can tell she feels uncomfortable with the way I'm sucking up her beauty. She forces a smile.

" I'm Melanie Jones, your therapist. May I know your name?" She says, and I tighten my grip around her palm. Shock fills her with an expression saying, WTF?! I love leaving that impression on people I meet for the very first time.

" It doesn't matter, all I want to say is - "I cut midway of my own words to get one glance at her slender body, then looked back at her face. " You're way too hot and sexy for someone your age, Melanie" My mom separates our hands and only a grin is seen on my face.

"I'm so sorry about that. My daughter is just a kid. Her name is Hazel." Mom gives me a be good kinda expression. Melanie makes us seat. She takes her seat beside me.

" So tell me exactly how you feel today and the other passed years after that memory."

Melanie's calm gesture makes me feel attached for some reason that I can't explain. Something I haven't felt with my mom at all. I feel like pouring all my burden and frustration on her.

" It's okay. Take your time. You can tell me everything you want,,, and I'll listen"

" Fine" I loosen up a bit. " It's been seventeen years since we lost hold of each other. The only thing that reminds me of him is, the memories we shared during that time. No means of communication at all, but I see him everywhere, in my room, in my food, ... Just everywhere." I explain, and she nods her head in understanding.... Or I assume she does.

" You can't let go of what you both had in your youth, it was traumatizing and hard to accept that it's in the past. "

This woman, I can't let go even of I wanted to. Its just-hard to let go.

" You just have to let go of it. Your emotionally and psychologically damaged, so much that everything in your subconscious appears to be real for you. Help yourself by letting go."

" Believe me, I've tried. But I can't... I just can't let go. I have to see him again if actually I want to rid myself of this thing you're talking about! I'm out of here. " I say and storm out of her office walking down the hallway and increasing my steps in every step of the way.

Actually I don't know why I did it, why I reacted that way or why I'm about to cry. Words just can't explain it. Even mom doesn't know how to handle me. I've got to get through this. Entangled in my thoughts, I don't notice when I arrived the parking lot. Just exactly where mom's car was parked.

* How'd I get here? Is it just me or is my brain messing with me? * I ask myself with doubt. Loud noises of heels knocking violently on the floor, kicks me out of my thoughts. I turn around to see mom standing there with her hands on her waist, out of breath.

I think I'm really gonna get it. But, to my surprise, her tense features softens and she approaches me and holds me in a tight embrace. The one which has never been given by her. Tears flow freely from my eyes as I return the hug.

" Mom..." My words trail off as my voice starts breaking from the heavy lump in my throat. She just holds me closer than ever to her.

" Hush. It's going to be alright, honey."

This is just what I needed.

...Psychologically Rouge ~...

 Crazy as it appears to be, my sudden outburst changed things for the better. Mom doesn't have to worry too much about me seeing monsters in my room called Cole. I still see him though I pretend not to. As much as I want to see him again, the more I feel it will never happen.

...A week later~...

" mom? Where are you taking me?" I ask with still suspicion. I watch her focused on the road and doesn't reply me. She remains silent for some time. I lean deeper into my seat with a long sigh. Still no reaction from her. I turn to the window. The world has a great feature which hides behind the horizon. If only it's possible for me to see it.

The car comes to a stop at a large parking lot filled with tons of luxury cars. I sit up straighter and turn to my mom who is smiling at me.

" Mom?"

" I know you're caught up in a world of frustration and pain and I don't want you to go through that alone." Mom says now with her serious look on.

"I'm not alone, I have you. I-

" I know. But you need more people your age in your life, and it starts now." She is strange and it baffles me. Realizing my confusion, she reaches out to me and takes my hands in hers.

" It'll be alright. I'm still here. Just try not to get into any kind of trouble..." With that, she takes off her seatbelt and gets out of the car. I follow suite and look around taking in my surroundings which has a hidden smell of hope.

Mom leads me into the school. My eyes lock with the huge sign board at the top of the building written in bold : SUMMER SET. It looks fancy for a low class person like me to study here.

The students walk around in

groups holding books of different types. They make the school lively with their chattering and sweet laughs which fill the air. Some looks they give me, makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. I clench the ropes of my bag tighter to lessen it.

We come to a stop in front of a door saying, . Mom knocks softly and a male voice answers from the other side. Seems mom has been here before.

" Come in."

She swiftly twists the door nob and walks in. The man had glasses on but looked very young. The strips of white hair makes the combination of white and black unique. He then raises his eyes to us and his rosy lips expanded with a sweet smile.

" Evelyn, so good you could be here. Welcome!" Principal Fryer greets cheerfully as he claps his hands with joy. They might know each other very well.

" Thank you." mom says casually.

" Please have a seat." he offers, and we sit.

" Is she...?"

" This is Hazel, my daughter. "

" Oh. What a beautiful young lady. How old are you, Hazel?" He asks, and I don't feel like saying it. It's inappropriate.

" Why do you want to know that?" I ask

" Let's just say it's a way of getting to know my friend's daughter. If I really want our friendship to last longer. "

I look at mom. She nods, giving me the go signal. I sigh.

" Seventeen"

" Cool. You'll be in the same class with your age group. Here are some papers you'll need to sign." He pushes an orange fill to me now wearing his business look on. It's really amusing to see how people can change their facials with no difficulty.

I open up the file and a student agreement form is in front of me. I scan through with no hesitation. I see my mom's signature on the guardian's side. I turn the pages, and it's still imprinted on it.

I raise my eyes to him. The terms are good.

" But why do I need to sign this?" I ask not out of curiosity, but to find something out which I suppose isn't there.

" Every student who have come and gone, signed them. I just hope you keep the rules and laws of this school as it is."

I thought for a moment. I'm not one to follow other people's rules. Not even mom, what makes him think I'm going to do that?

" I'm not making any promises, but I will try my best. "

" It's settled then. " A smile appears on his face again. That smile which was over come by seriousness.

" Since a week late, I decided to have you some new acquaintances to help you out with the topics and lessons you missed out. " He reaches for a button on the fixed phone and speaks into it.

Mom holds my hand and I turn to her.

" You shouldn't have to do this. "

" It's nothing. I just want what is best for you." She smiles.

" They'll be here soon. "

...Few minutes later ~...

The door swings open and two figures enter the office. One female and the other, male. She looks graceful with puppy doll eyes of lavender filling it.

The male's quite cute and his hair sleeps to his forehead in a messy style, making him more attractive. His eyes are those tinted with gold.

The principal's words takes me out of my thoughts.

" These are the guides you will have. Jasmine and Jordan, will help you out with anything you want to do. If you need anything else, please let me know."

" Thank you, sir." I say and mom stands up and so do I. I hold those papers tighter. I bid him goodbye and leave his office.