LONGINGLY INLOVE

...ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ...

It wasn't good.

The relationship I have imagined.

The dreams I've had.

You weren't the passionate and gentle I used to dream about.

I expected too much.

7 years together is just filled with nothing but bitterness.

I was eager to pursue you and neither you too.

How come it became like this and it came out of nowhere.

We've laughed with each other.

Said sweet things.

Woke up together in our apartment.

You bought couple rings.

Chocolates and bouquets for Valentine's day.

For you to suddenly say:

"I met someone better and you didn't give me the thing I were looking from you. Let's end things here."

My eyes, my ears, heart and soul was shattered that the I couldn't feel any pain.

I begged you.

You didn't listen.

I begged you.

You laughed.

I begged you so much that I cried.

All those things we have done just to end things for 7 years?

I cried so much for you every night.

I didn't knew I loved you so much while you didn't.

I was dissapointed in myself how come you loved me for 7 years.. and I'm still loving you till right now.

It's disgusting because I'm still liking you after changing me from someone you're now loving.

I'm the worst.

If everything.. I'd like you to love me again.

Please get back..

We were so great..

Where did you got the guts to do this.

You were my world and so I was your world.

I'm mad. So mad..

I really liked you. I like you so much.

Writing this is not enough on how I'm hurt from the pain you left me.

I don't like my eyes to get swollen from all this tears.

My face is so hot and so is my throat from whining.

I love you.. i love you.

Please come back..

I don't like crying.

This must be the reason why I'm crying so much right now.

Why am I writing..

It pains me. It just hurt because I promised myself to marry you, to live together and do all things we haven't done yet.

Am I weird? Is my cooking skills not great?

Am I bad? Like really bad?

I love you.. you gave me world for 7 years..

Why..

Why did we end up like this?

I don't like to sleep tonight.

I'm scared.. I'm so scared that I'm alone right now.

Why.. why...

You're scent in the bedroom is still there.

Your socks and jackets are everywhere here in the living room.

Your clothes in the closet.

Your consoles and PS4..

You mentioned.. that you're not coming back.

What should I tell my mom then? She was rooting for us and such.

Who am I..

Who am I going to marry now.

Who is she that she surpassed those 7 years that I gave you..

It hurts.

It hurts.

Why did you do this? Hm?

I couldn't eat..

I vomit everytime I do..

I think I'm pregnant.

How do I tell this to mom..

How.. You're not here..

If ever I'm pregnant..

Will you come back?

I remembered our first date.

We were both embarrassed and awkward..

(I keep crying.. can I even share this story?)

You bought me all kind of chocolate because you didn't knew what I would like..

Please come back..

Come back...!

It really just hurts right now.

Something in my heart is piercing through it.

Can't you come back?

I'm being selfish here and such so but please leave your new girl and I will!

I will try my best harder so you don't leave me..

Don't leave me.

It hurts..

It's my first heartbreak.

it felt as if I'm always craving for you.

The attention you give at me wasn't enough to prove your love towards me.

I've always kept in touch but how come you're not there when I need you the most.

I really took the risk saying it will someday be a worth it ending.

But look at me.

I'm so pathetic.

Without you is really a mess.

I couldn't forgive myself for loving you too hard.

If this is just what I can get in the end.

I would've known. Not to take the rope.

Everytime I look at your innocent face.

There's this something your really hiding that I can nor figure out.

You should just talk to me and be straightforward rather than giving me mixed signals.

It's really irritating and such.

Do you.. Even loved me at the slightest bit?

I feel like you're using me.

I couldn't tell what is in my mind and neither you too.

I couldn't sleep everytime you leave the house because you're out there having fun while you keep instructing me not to go out.

I got that and I went out.

I tried the place bar thingy.

It was so boring so I just ended up to go in a bookstore.

Others say this place is the most boring place because it's not that noisy like the bar.

But here. This place is everything to me.

I got home.

In the front door..

I saw your pair of shoes and a pair of a women's sandals..

I want to go in and tell him I'm here..

But at what cost?

Would he listen to me?

Or he'd continue fuck his girl?

He.. Proposed to me yet this is what ge wants.

Maybe I should also try cheating at least once?

I went in and you didn't even greeted me.

I cooked a pasta for you guys hope you like it.

I cooked a pasta, cheesebread and baked mac.

It's our anniversary.

You went out naked with your girl wearing my damn clothes

I'm irritated now that I'm going to throw those out.

I smiled and welcomed you guys to join me in the supper.

You really have the audacity to eat?

You pigs and hypocrites.

I've lost my appetite.

After the supper.

You followed me at the veranda and closed the doors.

You brought a paper and that must be the cancellation of the wedding thing.

I asked about what I would do with the ring you gave me and you replied..

Throw them.

As a woman who loved you so dearly.

That's the nicest answer you've said.

I've had enough.

I hate this.

Go live your life and be free so do I.

Years later I've moved on.

I became a writer.

My books are being sold out.

The readers loved me the most sincere.

But you wouldn't.

Guess this ends here.