SHEHNAAZ

Staying away from your family is always not a wise choice but through it is difficult we have to do that in order to achieve our goals .....

Since childhood life has been nothing but a true Rollercoaster journey , with its turns at every point ...... Doing something that you want rather than what your family wants is a really tough job .....

But I wasn't really a very head strong and confident person to do something ..... I have always been such a girl who wants approval from her father at every step......

Thinking that they'll approve what I really want made me actually do what they needed for me to do and hence here I'm.....

Well then let's talk about my life later, but before that let me give a short introduction of myself ......

Hey there ! I'm Shehnaaz Kaur Gill.... I'm a 27 year old Pediatrician and singer by profession..... Well to be honest I wanted to become a singer since I was a little girl but that wasn't what my family wanted for me and hence I'm also a doctor.......

Well I don't regret that ..... I came out of my comfort zone and may be that's the reason I'm able to spread my wings now ......

I have been living away from my family for a long time and that has been a blessing sometimes ......

Well talking about what I like then singing is the best thing in my life ...... I express all my emotion through it ...... It can be happiness or heartbreak that the other's have caused ...... Well I'm not that Popular but I actually did few music videos and sang a number of songs for different films.....

But on the other hand being a doctor is not a bad thing at this point ..... I love kids and they are really priceless...... Being with them actually gives me immense amount of happiness...... They are the cute ball of sunshine that makes anything beautiful......

And that's the only reason why I don't hate that profession as I thought I would initially.......

Wanting to be assured , loved and recognized by people I have done huge number of mistakes while staying away from my near and dear one's....

May be if I wasn't away from them I could have consulted before taking drastic steps in my life that made me so hollow at this point.....

This 27 year old Shehnaaz always thinks that if she had a time machine then she would have went 5 years back and warn the young girl that she shouldn't always believe what the other's are telling her ..... The world is full of two faced people and there are more fake and broken promises rather than the real fulfilled one's......

For me love is such an emotion and reality that takes place in the lives of the people who are immensely fortunate , just see my story...... I really fell in love with that person , gave him everything , invested myself to the fullest jn that relationship but at the end it was nothing but just an infatuation from his side..... But that's not the only broken promise I had in my life ...... The last person was really charming and did many things to gain my trust but at the end he cheated on me and that's the end ......

Now being in my late twenties I have excepted that what ever life gives me I'll except it and try to make it work ...... And that's the reason I have said yes for the arrange marriage to my family..... I don't know anything about the person and I'm okay with it .....

Just three weeks and I'll be married to that person ..... The only minute request to Waheguruji is that please make sure that he is good and won't stop me from continuing my professions ......

And that's the reason why I'm packing my bag at this moment to go back to my hometown...... Although I wasn't really willing to come more than 400 kms away from my own place , the place where I was born but I had too and ultimately I'm happy that I did that...... Living in Delhi has given me huge amount of life lessons ans survival skills that I never had when I was there in the village staying among my people .......

Zipping up the suitcase I kept in on the side before walking to the kitchen area and having the leftovers fir dinner ...... Working 12 to 14 hrs shift each day has taken a serious toll on me for the last few weeks .....

The moment I landed on the bed I drifted off to the land of dreams .....

SIDHARTH

Life is full of mystery and adventure.... You don't even know when the things might change in an instant........

One moment you may enjoy everything that you have while the very next moment you can actually have nothing of that sort to be happy .......

You can be great and do all the things right but that doesn't ensure that the people around you may like what you are actually trying to do ...... You can do something that is actually a social cause but how people will take it is certainly up to them.......

There are different people around you all the time they may not always support you through the greatest achievement of your life but they can demotivate and demolish your entire living for the tiniest of the cause ......

People always don't think about the truth or rather they are always not interested in knowing that but they will always give their opinions irrespective of its needs ....

And that's the reality of my life. Being an actor is always not as easy as you think it is. In this field you'll have more enemies that friends and that case is similar to mine .......

Well before I tell more about myself atleast let me Introduce myself ..... Well I'm Sidharth Shukla an Actor by profession ...

Always a family man and love staying with them rather than going out on unnecessary parties ...... I'm a 35 year old mature man for the other's except my family who still now treats me like a toddler.....

Well if I talk about my journey then I started as a struggling model in this industry and then slowly I got my TV series and did some reality shows but at the end of the day I was happy that my family was always there to support me through the thick and thin....... And last but not the least I have done some blockbuster hit movies in the recent years and this is actually the turning point of my life and career .....

I know you people must be thinking that my life has become fully settled .... Yeah that's true but everything has its pro's and cons and that's the case in my life ... I have made a bigger number of enemies rather than friend in this entertainment industry and now at this point I just want some me time to relax for few days ......

Taking a sip from my cup of tea I once again concentrated on the discussion that's going on in this livingroom ......

Kaushal ( Sidharth's Manger ) : So aunty I really this that either he should announce that he is getting engaged and we can do a fake engagement or if you and husband sisters agree then there can be a fake marriage too.

Rita Ma : Actually I think that getting married us a better option but it really needs time ... for now we can say that he was in a secret relationship for a year and then they are getting engaged .....

Preeti Di : Yes that's actually a good idea mom ...... We actually need to take care of this so called womanizer and kinda rapist reputation down as soon as possible.....

Mehul ( Sidharth's PR ) : Yup we actually need to fix thus as soon as possible otherwise it will be really challenging in the future ...... His ex co- artists haven't left a single way of trying to demolish his career .......

Sid : I can understand everything that you are telling but isn't there any way to clear the image ...... You as well as my fans knows it that I can never do such things ......

Sid : For heaven sake man I have grown up with women in my family and they think that I can stoop so low that I do such nasty thing with others........ Everybody knows that I haven't dated for the last five years man .......

Kaushal : I know Sid that this is really confusing and tiring at this point but wecan so anything ....

This is the third time Ms Rashmi has done such a thing ......

Mehul : Bro ..... We are doing as per plan ..... it's just a fake arrangement so you don't have to think about it so much .....

Rita Ma : If it was upto me then I would have tried to get you married but I have never forced anyone of you to do anything against your will .....

Sid : But can't there be any other solution rather than getting engaged or married?

Preeti Di : If you this great logical Shukla has some other idea then please enlighten us with it ..... And what's your problem with what we have decided ?

Sid : I have nothing against you guys but you'll know that all my previous relationship wasn't that great and I really don't want something like this to back fire at me at this point ......

Rita Ma : So you'll spend the rest of your life single then.....

Sid : Mom you know that I didn't mean it like that ...... it's just that I have left it on my destiny.....

Kaushal : Bro don't be so negative .....

Sid : I'm not ...... I believe that God has ultimately made a partner for all and I'll get mine when the destiny wants it .....

Preeti Di : But what's the link between your destiny and this plan we have made ....?

Sid : I don't know anything ...... You can do what ever you want but leave me out of it ...... I really want a little time to relax and rest for few days now .......

Kaushal : That's okay .... we'll start to find someone and in the mean time draw the contract papers...... You can rest all you want because you don't have anything for the next 2 weeks ......

Sid : ( Sigh ) Thank God !

Saying that I got up from my place and walked inside my bedroom ...... Sitting on the bed I looked at the ceiling thinking how people change just because of jealousy......

Well I can't neither change their mentality nor can I expose any of their wrong doings because at the end of the day they are women and the society will actually give them more sympathy than curse at them .....

SHEHNAAZ

Sometimes I contemplate whether I should try to know about the person I'm going to get married but on the other hand I don't want the history to repeat itself once again and thus I kept myself away from thinking anything related to the groom and his family ........

As I finished my shift in the hospital I walked inside my cabin to get my purse and clock out from there......

Sitting in the driver's seat I kept my head on the steering wheel , releasing a huge Sigh I sat there silent for few minutes before roaring the engine to its life ...... Passing by the crowded streets of Delhi I felt lonely in this huge city full of people ...... I felt myself lost in the huge crowd of people trying to find my foot and a stable support system beside me for the rest of my life......

Turning on the music system it played some sad music ....... I felt as if even the universe also knew that I'm not really happy ...... Driving for half an hour I reached the apartment premises......

Entering through the main door of my flat I kept my bag on the centre table before throwing myself on the couch ......

Sana : I'm so tired 😫

I Don't even feel like cooking something ......

I closed my eyes to just take a short power nap when my phone rang ......

* Ring *

* Ring *

* Ring *

I picked up the call without seeing the caller I'd.....

Shehbaaz ( Sana's brother) : Hey there !

Sana : Hmm....

Shehbaaz : So when are you coming back ?

Sana : Not untill Friday ....

Shehbaaz : You know that papa will get angrier hearing this right ?

Still you need more than 2 days to come here ...

Sana : Well as much as I know papa is not really the owner of the hospital I work in . I don't think he should be angry just because I'm being absolutely professional.

Shehbaaz : Well you are right there ..... Let's see how can I manege him ....

Sana : Yeah ..... Well Goodnight..... I'm too tired to talk to you right now.....

Shehbaaz : That's alright take rest and please have something before sleeping .....

Sana : Sure....

Ending the call I got up from the couch and went to the washroom..... Changed my outfit to a simple night wear and walked towards the kitchen to get myself something ......

All I could think at this point is sleep so at last it was nothing but a bowl of cornflakes infront of me after rummaging through the cupboard for several minutes......

Finishing the food I went to Bed ...... I wish I could go home as soon as possible although it's going to be a really long tiring journey driving from Delhi to Beas ....

SIDHARTH

Getting few off days after such a long time was really a bliss unless and untill I switched on my phone where various articles and posts started to pop up regarding the new controversy created for me ......

I really find it amazing that there are people who have nothing better to do rather than trying to sabotage otters career...... Well I think they could have been more successful if they invest these precious time in their work .......

Wearing my gym cloths I came out of my room ...... In these few days working out was the only thing that could make my head clear ....... Finishing the weight lifting and some other exercises I was down with my sipper when I heard few people talking about me .....

Person 1 : See .... he's so shameless..... After doing so many things he can still come out of his house ......

Person 2 : Hey ..... I know those article but he doesn't look like someone to do such nasty things .....

Person 1 : He is same as those criminals who roam around after doing some crime....

Person 2 : I don't know but he looks like a decent man ....

Though the words were harsh I couldn't do anything to change their minds..... I got up after having few gulps of water and finished my remaining workout before heading home .....

I went to my apartment to just to find my mother sitting in the livingroom with my sister and discussing something ......

Sid : What are you both upto ?

Rita Ma : Nothing just talking about the fastest news .....

Sid : Is it that bad this time .... I haven't read the articles ....

Preeti Di : Last time there was only one named Rashmi but this time there's an addition .....

Sid : Who ?

Preeti Di : Devoleena Bhattacharya.....

Sid : Who's that ?..... I don't even know her ..... I don't think that I have worked with someone with that name .....

Rita Ma : Yes ..... you didn't and that's the most shocking part ......

Oh god...... I don't know what I should do at this point...... I went to my room and settled down on my bed after changing my cloths ....... Switching on my phone I read the article which were nasty ......

Yeah ..... I know that I get angry..... I really short tempered but that doesn't mean that I'll blame other's for my mistake ....... I never ever behaved badly with any other woman but see they are the ones who are actually drowning my reputation at this point ...... I feel so helpless ...... I the logical Shukla is lacking any kind of logical answers at this point......

Closing my eyes I started to think about what could be done next when my phone rang .....

* Ring *

* Ring *

* Ring *

*Ring *

I picked up the call to find it was none other than my manager......

Kaushal : Sid are you there ?

Sid : Hmm....

Kaushal : This time we are in bigger mess..

Sid : What happened?

Kaushal : It's just that few of your project as getting cancelled ..... Some called me today, they either want to postpone it or may be cancel it altogether......

Sid : Hmm.....

Kaushal : I know this us really hard but we really can't do anything...... The only thing that we can di is a damage control on the accusations of supposed rape by that witch ......

Sid : What do I need to do ?

Kaushal : Tweet few lines ...... Ask your fans if they think that you can do such thing seriously......

Sid: Isn't it just a waste of time .....?

Kaushal : It always Isn't..... knowing what your fans think is really important at this point to know our supporters .....

Sid : Well I'll think about that......

Thinking about what Kaushal said I started to type a few words ...... In the mean time mom called me to have lunch....... Having few bites of the food I came back to my room and locked myself in here......

Taking out a pack of cigarette from the drawer I started to smoke ..... I have always been the man who respects woman ..... Well people sometimes even call me feminist but I don't hate it because my upbringing has been done with that mindset ...... For my mom my elder sisters and me were equal ...... We have fought day and night during our childhood..... She never told me to move back because they are girls but what can we do when the whole society sides with the women ?

May be I can give explanations but that really doesn't ensure that everything will be okay at this point...... Turning around to look at this time it was nearly 8 pm ...... Noticing that I had already finished more than half of the cigarettes wasn't a great feeling ..... I laid down on my bed just open twitter on my phone and reading people's thoughts about me ....... There were a number of them who supported me while most of them sided with her ...... I don't know what to do at this point......

I started to type something and after a few minutes I posted it .....

As I finished the tweet and posted it I closed the app and kept my phone on the night stand ..... I'm loosing my mind ..... I loosing my project now .... I wish the people to believe me ..... I wish that God will show some mercy on this poor fella..... I don't know whom to believe at this point ..... This industry is full of backstabbing people rather than who would stay by you .....

SHEHNAAZ

* Tring *

*Trrrrrriiiinnnngggg*

Sana : ugh! I'm so tired .......

Rubbing to wake up my sleepy eyes I sat up on the bed ...... I'm late today...... I really don't have an ounce of energy to go and examine those patients ....

Getting up from the bed I went inside the washroom to get myself prepared for the day ..... Wearing a comfortable yet professional suit I got myself prepped up for the day .....

Running around the whole flat I got my stuffs while stuffing my mouth with a single piece of toast ....

Getting inside the car I took a deep breath before tucking my seat belt in and bringing back the engine to its life from the momentary sleep ......

As I drove to the hospital I could hear my phone practically blowing up from the latest notifications .....

Sana : Did the news channels get some juicy gossips that my phone hasn't stop buzzing for the last few minutes.....

Parking my car I walked inside the hospital with my bag on my shoulder ....... I could hear people murmering around taking names and their pov's....... Man! Don't they they have anything better to do .....

Going inside the chamber I settled down on my chair and took out my phone ..... As I saw the notification I was happy that at last he started to stand for himself ..... Although I admired him from the last few years but there was never an ounce of doubt I had on him when those nasty articles were published ......

Keeping my phone aside I called the on duty nurse to assist my patients one at a time ..... Working for few hours straight checking the cute babies gave me immense happiness...... As I went out to the cabin I walked towards the cafeteria to get myself a cup to coffee before going for the rounds .....

Sitting on one of the empty chairs placed near the window I looked at my phone once again while sipping from the mug .....

I was scrolling through the articles displayed on the screen when I heard the nurses talking among themselves .....

Nurse 1 : I never believed that Sidharth can do such things ....

Nurse 2 : You are absolutely right ..... Such a handsome man going after that witch ..... no way......

Nurse 3 : They can do anything .....

Nurse 2 : No ..... they can't..... he's a good person and can never do such nasty things .....

Nurse 3 : Do you know him personally?

Nurse 1 : Well don't need to know him that way ..... He's a really private person but as much as we know that he is a true gentleman .......

Nurse 2 : His eyes shows the truth .....

Nurse 3 : Well I don't know him but yeah those articles were a bit too much to be true ..... 

Nurse 1 : Hmm

Shifting my attention from them I looked through the window while the coffee mug was in my hand blowing off the steam .....

Well I won't really fangirl over this really Greek God like creature but yeah ..... I know that they are right Sidharth Shukla can never do such things ...... His fans believes him ...... Well I won't even say that I never liked that man because I actually do still now ...... He is one of the reason I started to try my luck in singing.......

Being a fan girl is very different when you know that the other person doesn't even know about your existence but it gives my mind a type of solitude that my existence is still unknown or otherwise being a perfectionist he would have said about my incompetence just like my father ......

Gulping down till the last drop of coffee I resumed my work for the day ......

Around 7 in the evening when I clocked out of my duty hours I went back to my parked car once again before pulling out my phone from the bag .......

I saw the message from one of music directors with whom I have worked previously ...... I read the message and replied that I'll meet him within an hour .....

Mr Prakash the Music director is a really good man. ..... I have worked with him in the last few years and I'm his one of the favourite singers ....... Well needless to say that he has given me immense amount of opportunities and those actually became the stepping stone to my successful career.....

Although there was always a family pressure when I stepped into the industry but that comparatively reduced as the days passed by ......

Reaching the production office I entered the Well decorated glass chamber which is actually the office ......

Mr Prakash  : Hey there darling ....

Sana : Satasriakal Prakash ji ....

I said joining my hand infront of my chest ....

Mr Prakash : Here take a seat ...   I have few things to discuss with you .....

Sana : Sure Sir .....

Mr Prakash : Well here's the gig ..... 3 romantic songs for a movie ....

Sana : Okay but which Industry it is ?

Mr Prakash  : Bollywood.... a big shot producer is casting a very well known actor with a new face in the movie..... Although the story line  is really good but you need to see the lyrics and be prepared.

Sana : I want to read the contract as well as go through the lyrics before giving you a word ....

Mr Prakash : Sure .... go ahead .... I'll send you the contract by tomorrow and you can take the lyrics with you now itself ....

Sana : Thank you sir ..... I'll go through it today itself before sending you my reply tomorrow.

Mr Prakash : I believe you'll once again give some addicting hits now too just like in the past .....

Sana : Well I'll try my best but before that when and where is the recording?

Mr Prakash: It's one and a half week later and as much as I'm confirmed it's in Amritsar...... they are going to shoot there for a week so that's the most convenient thing for them .....

Sana : Okay sir .... so I'll take my leave now.....

Getting out of the office I went back to my apartment ....... After reading the contract thoroughly after consulting it with my manager I sign it before reading the lyrics .....

The words are really beautiful and soothing at the same time .....

SIDHARTH

Getting up the very next morning after sleeping for more than 10 long hours I got changed into my gym cloths before moving out of my room ....

Rita Ma  : Sid are you okay beta !

Sid : Yes ... Mom .... What will happen to me ?

Rita Ma : Well were really worried ..... you didn't even have your dinner last night beta .....  I know everything is a complete mess right now but after last night there is a lot of  improvement now ......

Sid : What do you mean ....?

Rita Ma : The moment you twitted yesterday you are trending on Twitter ...... Your fans have supported you with all their will power ..... Many celebrities have also tweeted on behalf of you .......

Sid : I hope everything gets better .....

Taking my sipper from the kitchen and placing a kiss on my mother's fore head I headed towards the gym......

Working out to clear my mind for more than two hours I came out of the gym ..... 

As soon as I reached the front glass door I could see the media standing there ...... Oh God ! Can't these people leave me alone .......

I walked out of the premises when they surrounded me asking questions one after another ......

Person 1 : Sir .... you have been trending on Twitter .....

Sid : Yeah ... I have heard about it .....

Person 5 : sir .... why do you think Ms Desai said those things about you ?

Sid: Well I really don't know about it and I don't want to comment anything regarding these accusations.....

Person 3 : Please tell tell why did you not tell anything for the last few days ....?

Sid : I believed that my people , the near and dear ones know me enough to know that those articles are fake.....

Person 2 : Sir do you think it's a publicity stunt ....?

Sid : No comments.....

Pushing them a little away for me I made my way through the crowd towards my car ......

As I went inside the apartment I could hear the TV on while some faint murmering could be heard ...... I walked towards the living room to find my mom and elder sister talking among themselves ......

Preeti Di  : So finally have you found someone to get him engaged to ?

Rita Ma : I'm finding ...... I want someone who understands my son .....

Preeti Di : Mom you're not the only one who wants that...... I want to find someone who'll try to understand the inner child in him rather than the rude cold outer shell he portrays.....

Rita Ma : I wish to find someone soon ....

Sid : You both are talking about me .... deciding my future but ignoring me at the same time.....

Rita Ma : Oh ..... Sid...when did you come back beta ?

Sid : Just now mom .....

Sitting down beside her I kept my head on her shoulder while they continues to talk about me ...... About half an hour later I went to my room and took a shower before settling down on my bed with my food that mom kept when I was in the bathroom ......

Reading the re-tweets of the people I was happy that my fans have started trending once again and I'm really hope that this can actually tone down the previously made damage ......

Finishing my food I walked towards the balcony looking at the outside beauty I felt a little relaxed..... I took out a cigarette and lit it ...... Taking a few puffs I crushed it in the ashtray.......

Sitting on the bean bag I once again lost myself in the flashback ......

Flashback

It was the audition of my first movie .... I went to the film city ...... I was pacing in the hallway revising the lines for the last time before I went inside when I met her .....

She is scared and had a pale face ..... Her hands were shaking violently while she stood there with her folder .....

Did she come here to give an audition or something .....

Observing her for quite a while I could see her getting more agitated every mere second ..... I walked towards her and stood infront , towering over  the small petite figure with my hulk like physique......

Sid : Hey there ..... I guess you are here for an audition?

Girl : ye...yes s..sir ....

Sid : Hey .... Hey .... please don't get scared I'm here for the same thing......

Well all the best and believe in yourself .....

Girl : Thank you and same to you ......

Well thank you for the kind words ..... I badly needed some encouraging words now.......

Sid : Well I'm sure you are going to rock it .....

Girl : Thank you and I'm sure that you are going to break a leg in the interview you are going to give.......

Well it was really nice meeting you .....

Sid : The please is all mine stranger ...... Hope to meet in the future but as successful person......

Girl : I hope to meet you in the near future and would love to know such a beautiful soul.....

Bye ..... I have to go now ..... it's my turn ....

Sid : Sure please go ahead .....

Well she was mesmerizing...... I really liked the way she talked with me as if we knew each other all our life ...... I really liked her soothing voice but that near future didn't come till now .....

Flashback End

That was the only time when I got mesmerized looking at the opposite gender..... I'll always remember those beautiful eyes depicting the ocean filled with emotion , while her face was full of innocence......

I wish to meet her once again and tell her that her prediction was right ..... That film was actually the only thing that changed my entire life ..... Although I made so many enemies after that but the amount of love I received was way more than the hate.