From the word SAD

"Solemnly Accepted by the Dead"

What makes me live is what kills me .

But it doesnt define sweetness,Bitter,neither salty.

Because only a smoke screen protects me.

Not a shield

Neither has boundary

I want to enliven this lumpy personality.

But how can I do it if I maintained lowkey¿

A big weird punctuation mark on the last.

Cause I myself dont know a bit

Dont know yet

In order to clear your minds and to settle your jumping brain cells

Heres what I did

I used myself as a subject

That summarizes the -Dead but Living-

In that DEAD BUT LIVING words

it includes dead eyes

dead mind

and dead Heart

There were times that I tried to be a sleuth but,only found cases empty.

Whether I look on the corners of every corners.

On the horizontal of the horizontal

on the circle where no angles

On the open space

On the internet

On the Books

On the mirror

sometimes I used a magnifying glass to view the unseen

But nothing,not even a single thing.

Except

silence as Quiet

I am slender but has a strong self esteem,which smashes negative thoughts and kicks sadness.

A positive thinker they say but truthfully very fragile on the depths of my inner self.

I spoke my soliloquy in a quiet way

Filled with creep,loneliness and downfalls on every line.

And I spoke it on a stage ,where no one listens

Chairs and tables where the audience

And the light who shines dull

I who sought for happiness never ever questioned about it.

For the people who surrounds me didnt kill me in physical,

But stabs my heart that affects my emotional fall.

The name is KAMIN

\-Defined as one of the trash who cant be recycled.A worthless dust in the society.

Once who peacefully ought to be a kiddo who wants to be covered by her loved ones.

But sadly,she doesnt have two,not even one ,

except herself.

Shes a typical girl who goes to school by herself,eats by herself,lives by herself,cares for her self,and works for herself.

Shes a type of girl who never experienced smooching or hugging anonymous different unknown species or hoomans.

Clearly and sadly well known as ALONE.

Always alone in the Dark

Always alone in the light

Now tell me can someone explain the whole

not the half

not the point

But the complete detail of the Document

A drip of tear can never be seen flowing under her eyes.

For her eyes are already Drought.

Global warming when it comes to talking planet.

But ,

who shall she trust?

Who shall trust her?

In the least sentence to ask.

Who shall love her?

Who shall she love?

Given in so much time being someone who is no one,She found a microchip

which is

ANIME

\-Who lift the heavy burden in my back

\-who made my eyes sparkle

\-who always made me happy

\-and who continued my unfinished boring story.

Anime sketch here,Anime sketch there,anime sketch everywhere.That is what the 16 years old Anime/Manga Otaku girl keeps buzzing lately on.Shes chasing her tails everday,in slicing the time for school,herself and her job.Always a busy buddy,creeping everywhere.Sometimes,she thinks that she committed a faux pas in her past life(well now what?Kamins head has already been invaded by ancient civilization,Yin and Yang topic session,far away land histories,great myths,fantasies and lethal time travel happenings.)

And so for now she's in her room sketching something yet unknown and uncivilized whats the name.

"Nyahhhh"she stretched and yawns like a lazy cat in her bed surrounded by bondpapers,sketchpad and art materials.Its already 11:48 in the evening ,morning is coming out but she's stil creeping busy.And what now?She just sketched a male anime character.

Her first OC,whom she came very busy with.Alongside that,is she still havent done his packed homework.

"What time is it already?"she yawns again and ask herself in a lazy voice.She took a gaze at her phone with her two sleepy eyes and saw the time.

"Wha-What?"she shockingly say it in a calm voice.The lady is shocked huh?

On her right side ,you can see a four pile of bondpapers sketched with Crooked OC's .She hurriedly took the piled papers and look at it.

"N-Naniiiii?"(Nani means what in Japanese)@~@ she fall herself in her bed dizzily while holding the four papers."I've been sketching my OC five times and took me 6 hours to repetitively sketch it and finally!Its Done!"

"Huhhhhh-Hontoo?"(hontoo means really in Japanese)she slapped her face .Come to think of it ,she frustratedly draw it five times.The most tragic event that first ever happened in her life history.A long period of time is needed huh?

A cool type of lad brainstormed by my empty mind

What I call OC makes my heart skip a beat and dive

Shall I call it love or just admiration

This silly question is wandering in my head and on amuck

For I never experienced the feeling of being someone cultivated by a real humans emotion.

That was the statement of what Kamin defrost on her mind,cause all in these past years none of her emotions were triggered and pulled.But,then again,as stated in chapter one ,ANIME made her life a rainbow.

"Yatchatta"(I did it/oops in Japanese)she yawns again then stretched her arms up."What shall I name you then?"

She facepalms while thinking with all deep under his brains."Hmmmm?Um-"

This time she grins her teeth for thinking seriously.

"Hmm?ehhh.........AHA!LIGHTBULB!

She snaps her fingers as she knows what to name and call her OC now.In designing statement;a lightbulb appears at the top of her head."Your name is —YUZURI" she points at her drawing with a smile on the face.

On her way to school,nothing changes and nothing's new.She's still the girl who holds herself alone.Shes on her handbag and on spectacles mumbling some words

"And here I am again taking the same path alone"

She sighs with a sorrow mark on the face.Someones coming,maybe someone who will talk to her? A guy?Is this real?

Her heart beat fast as that guy greets

"H-Hi" then smiles while looking at me.

She didnt mind the nervousness and replied "Oh- Hello （＾ｖ＾ ) ohayoo"

She bows for respect..."I dont get it why are you always alone,no offense Im just curious" the guy asked while back scratching.

That question gave her a pause-

"Oh- um, I dont have friends thats why Im always with myself" with her eyes on the ground.The guy introduced himself with a warm smile covering his face "Im Shoyue,nice to meet you...whats your name?"

If I dare to deny

If I dare to refuse

What will happen to the consequences

or the things that will Have me as acused?

She replied,

"Im the girl who didnt noticed that someone got bothered by my empty presence,the dearly name is Kamin" and gives her hand to the guy.

"I dunno if I would feel greatfull or

pissed with this ardor situation,but lemme give you a Happy THANK YOU on board." she show then her warm smile.

LIFE is diabolic,full of different chestnut's.You can create illusions and picture out chimera.Well,since I can call it a day i hope it wont famine .I cant call it a baloney to the reason that Im emphatic.Fidgety was shown in me whenever I get involved in anything . It was a manna that I met you.This natty lad is giving me curiosity,encore grows my mind who's out of order.

"Um- how should I say this😅.C-can I accompany you to school,Kamin?"He asked with iffy looks.He stood firm and gentlemanly in a neat and clean school uniform,but you can see the fidgety in him.Terribly a shy ilk.He cannot explain his feelings,should he have to rest assure or quickly respond it with nervousness?

With his innocuous image,I gave my trust in him quickly without second thoughts.He can be characterized as Chaste but not boring.A circle of Questions where on fracas in my mind.

"Sure~it would be nice,lets go then."I nodded with a small disarrangement on the face.

As we chin all way to school,I can feel that Im on adrenaline rush,but didnt let it conjure me.It was a day that I didnt pay attention and with no expectation that I would met someone bothered by my loneliness.

Should I be happy?

or

Sad?

What emotion will I show?

Would it be marvelous if I play a friendly game?

But-

Im a bit scared to lose.

Should I care?

What should I do?

Maybe treat him to be my PRENNY(Friend)?

What in a world of illusions ,is this legitimately true?

A "Friend" has arrived.

Now we've arrived,yet didnt say goodbye."Can we exchange numbers?"

A mind intriguing question, thats it-

He shyly asked."Ah- just promise me one thing,never ever give it to someone else."I quickly respond...."Sure"... he replied."I have to go,its running late,hope to see you soon." he waves with a smile as he slowly vanishes to go to his class.

*Its a bit challenging that I experienced this,seems like i was covered in clouds and cant concentrate breathing.A lot may have known that Im alone,but this day I feel like Im part of someone else.

Today,I can call it a nice warm day.

On the time I've seen that warm smile,I froze and it felt like I dont want time to go.A thunderous self positivity energized me.And Luckily I've met this person.

My pRENNY (friend)

"We can't finagle everything,it depends on how you carry it."