Maturing
Wake up call
I
You know.. Sometimes i feel unreasonable
I
I keep expecting a lot from you
I
I keep expecting you to understand me without talking
I
I keep expecting from you to logic it out and find what's wrong without asking
I
I keep expecting from you to see what i see
I
To be excited about the things i am excited about
I
I remember we are not in a romantic novel
I
I remember we are not in a fictional world
I
It's not fantasy... We are in reality
I
Things like that doesn't exist
I
I keep reminding myself, he is a separate full human being
I
We can't totally synchronize
I
Understand each other just by a glance or a word
I
It's all fiction.. Something i'd never get
I
But it hurts, unintentionally hurt, i hurt myself, you didn't, I hurt myself with expectations of things that could never be, of things that could never happen
With a love that's not meant to be, i broke my heart myself, and now i am mourning my expectations and dreams, all these years dreams
I
I should have guessed it
I
I should have known it all along
I
Real relationships are not that way
I
I lost touch with reality
I
Now the truth is hard to swallow
I
It stabbed my heart so badly, it's bleeding
I
It kept stabbing with no mercy
I
It took everything from me, it took all my childhood dreams from me
I
But it's a necessary process to adulthood, it's necessary process for me to mature
the response
You
you said tht u wanted someone to feel what you feel
You
Then how do you explain completing eachother 's sentences
You
How do you explain that we think of the same thing at the same time
You
I am not saying that your feelings aren't valid
You
I am saying that relationships aren't a novel
You
Or a manga or an anime
You
Unlike unreal world, actual world is full of hardships and obstacles
You
Things that we overcome together
You
To make our bond stronger and better
You
relationship is like an iron sword
In order to be in good shape and strong
It must go through fire and lots of hammering and pain
You
when we first met
I hardly can understand you or get what you mean
You
But at that time, i told u that i m slow learner
But i am persistent and willing to put sweat,tears and blood in the relationship
Until you become known to me as the back of my hand
You
My lovely queen
It hurts me to see you in an immense pain .. And it aches me to see you cry ...
You know that i would bring the world to its knees ... Just to see u smile
You
Why comparing our relationship our love story to mangas,animes or dramas?
When we can have our own love story
Written with passion and love and realistic events and moments
You
Needless to say that i am the luckiest man on earth to be with you
And that i am counting days to be with you as my wedded wife
What is love after all?
I
But I don't make a good wife, I am lazy...I am not that responsible either
I still feel i couldn't grasp the meaning of adulthood
I
I always question what's love after all
I
What's the meaning of life after all?
I
And I still feel lost, overwhelmed and confused of all these responsibilities and events that is happening around me
I
It's like i lost my balance, disassociated and now stuck between reality and imagination
You
Don't worry my love, thus because feeling "lost" is natural process for learning
I will be with you through this journey, not to guide to the right answers.
But to catch you not to fall into darkness
You
For me.. Love is you
It's when I am with you, and finally feel serenity amidst the world's overwhelming chaos
It's when i am holding your hand
Smelling your sweet scent
Looking into the depth of your eyes
And feeling your skin against my lips kissing your forehead
You
As if time stopped and nothing else matters
You
It's true i don't have all answers for your questions. But believe me, with me here, I would do anything to save you!
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