...****************...

“Dad, my mom’s going to get married.”

“Congrats on her wedding!”

Bai Luo Yin woke up with a jolt, his ears and neck, slick with sweat. The summer weather was still not over and it resulted in him waking up from the heat every day. He casually ran his hands over his skin and his palms were matted with sweat. It was only the morning and he already felt like he was on fire.

Dragging along both of his sandals, Bai Luo Yin sauntered to the tap and dipped his head under it. The cool running water trickled down his neck and it lightened his mood a little.

Bai Han Qi, Bai Luo Yin’s father, was currently sweeping the courtyard. The 1.85m man stayed at home every day to do the chores. It would have been fine if he could clean the house properly, but he always made a mess out of it.

That was probably why Bai Luo Yin found him to be such an eyesore.

Bai Luo Yin swallowed a mouthful of water from his cup and spat it back out. He twisted open the tap, waiting for the water to wash away the white bubbles, but the water level in the basin only rose. It was probably clogged again.

A minute later, after fishing out a tattered piece of rag with a stick, the water finally started flowing down the drainage system.

“Dad, you stuffed my pants down the pool again.”

Bai Han Qi, who was in the middle of sweeping, suddenly paused when he heard the words. Throwing down his broom, he headed over to the clothesline. One…two…three… No matter how many times he counted, it seemed that a pair of pants were missing. Needless to say, it must have fallen off during when he was washing and got swirled down the drain along with the soapy water.

“Hey! Don’t throw it away. You can still wear it after it gets washed again.”

Bai Luo Yin could practically feel the smoke coming out of his nostrils. “Just leave it. You can wear it if you want.”

Walking out of the front doors and then bypassing an alleyway, he coincidentally encountered Yang Meng, who had also just left his house.

Yang Meng had a name which differed from most. When his father was younger, he had been a well known bitch in the village, reputed for having softer, more tender features than most women. Unfortunately, during that time, people’s beliefs were obstinate and it was regrettable that he turned out the way he was now. In the end, for the sake of passing on his genes to the next generation, Yang Meng’s father forced himself to get a wife. When Yang Meng was born, his father pinned all of his great expectation on his only son, and as a result, bestowed upon him the name “Meng.” (T/N: ‘Meng’ means ‘fierce’ in Chinese)

It was a shame, the way Yang Meng followed his father unwaveringly since he was young. While other children lived their lives playing in the mud or climbing trees, he would hide himself in his house, making paper cut-outs or sewing. As a result, Yang Meng would constantly get beaten. After every beating from his father, his father would end up crying, but after a while, would continue with his discipline as if nothing had happened.

“Where’s your hair?”

Yang Meng ran his fingers over his head, a hint of sorrow surfacing on his handsome face.

“Yeah, you didn’t need to mention it. It was already gone when I woke up this morning.”

“Did you father secretly shave it off last night?”

“Bullshit. Besides him, who else would?”

Bai Luo Yin let out a snort of laughter, “Seems like the two of us are the same after all”

A thought suddenly occurred to Yang Meng and he slapped Bai Luo Yin on the neck, “You called me yesterday and hung up halfway in the conversation. What were you going to say?”

Bai Luo Yin contemplated for a moment and casually said, “My mother’s going to get married.”

Yang Meng straightened his back. “You still have a mother?”

Bai Luo Yin took a deep breath, “Do you think my father’s an earthworm? Saving energy in his 5th phrase, mating in the 6th, and then getting fertilized?”

Yang Meng’s shoulders were shaking from laughter. “Don’t tease me. I’m being serious. I’ve known you since we were young and never once seen your mother.”

“Bullshit! My mother even came back and stayed here for a week last year. Did you forget? She always parked her car near your place.”

“Oh, I remember now. That was your mother? How come she looks younger than my niece?”

“Are you looking for a fight?”

“Nope, my niece was just born a few days ago and her head’s full of wrinkles.”

“Newborns all look like that.”

This time, Yang Meng didn’t say anything, seeing as Bai Luo Yin’s gaze had already drifted to one side. He suddenly felt as if a storm had been swept into his heart. They had been best friends for a long time and Bai Luo Yin had always blundered through an underprivileged life along with his father. Now that his mother was getting remarried, one could only imagine how he must feel.

“How about we find a group of people and fuck up the wedding? How’d you like that?”

“You?” Bai Luo Yin put on a mask of condescendence, “What kind of people could you find? A bunch of performance bitches? The military troops for battle?”

“Military troops?” A look of surprise flitted over Yang Meng’s face, “Just who the hell is your mother getting married to?”

“A Major General.”

Yang Meng was completely tongue tied, “Such…such a high ranking officer…”

“Yeah, keep on talking.”

“About what?”

“The people you were going to call.”

Under the dappled sunlight, Yang Meng’s face appeared so pale, it bordered on transparency.

“If I were to call them, it’d be equivalent to looking for a death wish.” Bai Luo Yin suddenly halted, peering steadily at Yang Meng. There was a carefully suppressed flame in his eyes which looked ready to erupt any moment.

“It’s fine. Just tell me what you wanted to say from the start.”

Yang Meng held his breath, slightly deflating under his own lack of confidence. “My uncle is the leader of the Wailing Bands*. I was going to ask him to bring along a group of people so that they could weep at the wedding. But now…”

(T/N: People you employ to weep and wail at a funeral. It makes the process look more sincere.)

“That’s actually a pretty good idea,” Bai Luo Ying cut in. “So how can I contact your uncle?”

“Just make sure not to harm us. We’re just normal civilians.”

“Don’t worry,” Bai Luo Yin bared a sly smile. “I’ll be sure to take care of your uncle.”

...****************...

...****************...

“Xiao Hai, I’ve booked the banquet. What time are we heading off tomorrow?”

“Did I ever say that I would go?”

A small smile cracked on Sun Jing Wei’s otherwise tightly shut lips. A gust of cool air blew up to his nose. That brat had always had always been hard to understand and was extremely stubborn to boot, never willing to compromise for anything.

“This is a command from the chief. No rebuttals allowed.”

Gu Hai stood up, his steady posture highlighting his military descendant. He paced around the room in an unruly manner, giving off the aura of some type of masculine imposition.

“The only way to get me to come is to have the chief drag me along by force.”

At this softly uttered sentence, the corners of Sun Jing Wei’s eyes crinkled slightly.

“Then why bother? The mistress has been long gone and the chief has barely reached forty. You just can’t leave him be, can you?”

Sun Jing Wei’s words jabbed at Gu Hai’s sore spot.

“I’ll never forgive him for what had happened to my mother.”

Sun Jing Wei hastened to Gu Hai’s side, his voice ghosting over his ears. “Xiao Hai, you can’t say this so casually. If the chief hears you, you’ll definitely get skinned alive. What happened to your mother was purely accidental. Even the forensic scientists confirmed this, so how can you still be so apprehensive of your dad?”

“Fine. Just drop it, I’ll bear it in mind.”

Sun Jing Wei took a few steps backwards and offered a military salute to Gu Hai.

“Then, I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

Gu Hai spent the whole of his afternoon at the fencing club. Removing his mask, he felt a pair of rough hands clasp over his eyes.

“Keep still.”

Jin Lu Lu lowered her hands, squinting her eyes to size up Gu Hai. Gu Hai placed his hands on Jin Lu Lu’s cheeks and caressed them softly a few times, prompting Gu Lu Lu to let out her breezy laughter.

Jin Lu Lu, who was currently serving as Gu Hai’s girlfriend, was 1.72m tall and weighed around 40kg. Describing her as an airport was a bit farfetched. A more appropriate description would be that her chest and back were almost glued together. What people generally wanted, she couldn’t offer. If you thought she was pretty, then you’ve never been more wrong in your life. Her skin was somewhat tanned, she only had single eyelids, and to top it off, her nose and mouth were completely flat. It would have been impossible to tell that she was a girl from over fifty meters away. She was just that type of fugly woman that most pretentious, rich, old men would fall for.

“How come you’ve gotten tan?”

A small smile graced Gu Hai’s lips and it was a though all the light from the windows had been illuminated onto his face.

“I went swimming a lot on my trip.”

Jin Lu Lu followed Gu Hai to the resting area, handing out two pieces of tissue paper for him to wipe his sweat. Every time she approached Gu Hai, she could always make out the distinct scent of sweat and tobacco brewed together. If she closed her eyes, she would have imagined him to be a mature, middle aged man, but when she opened her eyes, she would only see teenager who had been forced to grow up too quickly.

“What are you looking at, silly girl?”

Gu Hai stretched out his arms and pulled Jin Lu Lu into an embrace. He let out a soft breath, “My father’s getting married. His wedding ceremony will be held tomorrow.”

“So soon?”

Jin Lu Lu raised her head, her sharp eyes digging into Gu Hai. “What about you? Are you going to the ceremony?”

“Do you think I should go?”

“Yes, you should! Why wouldn’t you? You have to let her understand that you’re part of the family so that she doesn’t feel left out.”

The only thing Gu Hai could do was bury his helplessness deep into his heart. “I just really don’t want to see them, you know? They’ve already been acquainted before what happened to my mom. With a status like my dad’s, there’s absolutely no way he could get married a second time. You should understand this without me saying it.”

“Aren’t you just over complicating things?”

Gu Hai took two gulps of water, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Jin Lu Lu jokingly gave it a pinch, almost causing him to choke.

“Say, if I bring in a group of reporters to tomorrow’s wedding ceremony and tell them to give it an extensive coverage, would it cause a great deal of negative impact on the couple?”

Jin Lu Lu was startled by this. “You want to crash the wedding?”

“I’ve wanted revenge on my father for a long time now.”

“I don’t think inviting reporters are good enough. Even if they manage to get the scoop, the TV stations might be reluctant to put it on the news and all your efforts will just go to waste ”

“You’re wrong. My goal isn’t to get it broadcasted on television. I just want them to go through the trouble of shoving the reporters and cameras away so that they’ll end up having to stop the wedding. After all, who’s actually pleased about the wedding?”

“Ohhh,” Jin Lu Lu cooed, “I get it now. So, the key feature isn’t the reporters, but the situation the couple will be going through. You’re just trying to implement some sort of deep psychological anxiety on the wedding organizers and staff, right?”

“You’re actually quite smart.”

A spark of impertinence lit up within Gu Hai’s obsidian eyes.

...****************...

Yang Meng’s uncle sent four men to Bai Luoyin; they were Ma Tu, Lala Man, San Zhazi, and Si Lingdang.[1] Just by their nicknames, one could tell that they weren’t a particularly bright bunch, and even if they did have any brains, what quick-witted people would do something like this?!

As Ma Tu stared blankly at the luxurious five-star hotel before him, he couldn’t help but to spit into his hands. Then, he clasped both his hands together and rubbed until the saliva thickened, all the while, wearing an extremely excited expression.

“Today, I will cry until I lose my voice.”

San Zhazi was confused, “Crying cost 300 yuan[2], but that kid only gave each of us 200 yuan. If you cry until you lose your voice, aren’t we losing out?”

“Just take it as I gave him that 100 yuan.”

“…”

Lala Man crouched at the foot of a wall and looked over at Ma Tu. “Why?”

“Who told him to have a feast at such an expensive place!”

Si Lingdang stood to the side without saying anything. As he stared at the luxurious cars pass before him one by one, he became more and more uncertain.

“Lingdang, what are you doing?”

“I just noticed that the vehicles parked here all belong to the military. This person is definitely not just anybody!”

“No shit! You think the person throwing a feast here has the same moral standing as us?”

“No, that’s not it…what I meant was, let’s not foolishly crash this place. If we break in, we might end up squatting in prison for three to five years…”

“Get rid of your shitty nagging. Aren’t you a disgrace to us? Besides, once this job is over with, there’s an additional 1000 yuan. Don’t you want that?”

Si Lingdang became listless as he looked at the rows of security guards and remained silent.

“I see someone going in. Let’s also head in. Get the invitation card out and do everything according to the plan. Once we’re in, don’t make a fool of yourself.”

“Wait!” Si Lingdang suddenly stopped.

San Zhazi’s patience was wearing thin, “Can you be a bit smarter? If you don’t want the money, give it here.”

“I… I think I saw reporters.”

The other three followed Si Lingdang’s line of sight.

“If by chance they’re also trying to get in to do a live broadcast of the wedding ceremony, then the ones making the headlines in Beijing Evening News’ today will definitely be us. I don’t want this money anymore. If you guys want to do it, go for it.”

Si Lingdang angrily turned away with every intention to leave.

“Come back!” Ma Tu bellowed.

Seeing that Ma Tu was about to become enraged, San Zhazi quickly grabbed him and Si Lingdang and urged them. “Stop fighting, aren’t they just reporters? Wouldn’t it work out if we all go over there and capture those two? There’s four of us and only two of them.”

“Exactly!” Lala Man’s courage increased a hundredfold. “We can steal their equipment as well! That guy also looks like he’s worth a lot of money!”

“All right! We might as well just do that!” Ma Tu also joined in. “We’re not going to cry anymore. We would only get 1000 yuan after crying anyways. We can steal the things that they’re carrying and sell it. It will definitely sell for more than 5000 yuan. Afterwards, we can give the money back to the boss’s nephew and tell him that we didn’t want to do it since it was too risky.”

“At the end of the day, dage[3] is the smart one. Ha, ha, ha…”

As a result, the four sneakily approached the two reporters.

Those two ‘reporters’ were temporarily hired by Gu Hai, who had to even teach them on how to use the equipment to film on the spot. That was because anyone with a bit of brain knew better than to come here and risk it. Consequently, the two lingered at the front gate of the hotel without the nerve to enter, despite having the invitation card.

Ma Tu waited for the perfect opportunity and waved at the three behind him. “Come closer. Let’s pretend to be friendly with them first then lure them to an isolated place. Then, we can attack.”

The three nodded and followed after Ma Tu nonchalantly.

The ‘reporter’ carrying the camera had just gathered up his courage to walk towards the entrance, when he suddenly saw four thievish-looking people heading in his direction.

“Hey, buddy! Let’s talk over there.”

“Ahhhh!!”

The two fake reporters howled and fled towards a small road behind the hotel without consulting each other while the four men pursued them relentlessly. Looking at their attitudes, the fake reporters thought that they were being pursued by four were plain-clothed policemen. They quickly abandoned the equipment, flagged down a taxi and made their escape.

“What the hell is going on?” Si Lingdang stared at the camera with an eyebrow raised in shock.

San Zhazi gasped heavily, “How would I know?”

La La Man scratched his head, “Was this equipment stolen goods?”

“Who cares!” Ma Tu simply placed the equipment on his shoulder without hesitation, “Let’s go. We need to find a place to sell these. With these, we don’t need to work this month.”

“Holy Shit! Our plan actually worked!”

“Ha, Ha, ha…”

...****************...