Inspiration.... yeah... I'm pretty sure there is no inspiration right now. No good weather, no good thoughts. I am feeling bad for myself. I have the best... well second-best reputation as a producer and composer reputation in the kpop world, but I still cannot think of anything today? Not even love or loneliness.

...1 hour later...

I'm finally done, writing my nonsense. Let me submit it to Hongjoong- seonbae*. I hope he'll accept it.

"It's horrible. Not your style, not you, at all. I'm not forcing you write. I can't believe you've wasted paper for this. What behaviour is this, Alice?"

"May I leave?"

"That's all you care about. Come tomorrow and record the demo version of 'Glasses'. I've sent you the lyrics and music. I want it done tomorrow without fail."

"Yup. Sure. Thank you Seonbae."

"Hmm..."

So, that's me, Alice. I'm a composer, and producer in the K-pop Industry. My nationality is what confuses people. So you see, I'm Korean based on my current nationality. I'm Chinese based on my parents' nationality. I speak English, Chinese, Korean, Hindi (learnt because of a dare) and I'm also learning Japanese. I'm quite fluent so people don't ever guess that I'm Chinese. I'm everything but Chinese to people. I'm an I, that is introvert.

Let's get back on track.

Today I'll finally be leaving on time. I kind of finished my work and I have a dinner date with my friends anyway.

Who friends\, you may ask. K-Idol friends. As a back- stage artist I do not only work for KQ Entertainment; I also have to work at YGE\, JYPE\, SME and HYBE Labels. Sometimes I need to do it for CUBE too. These are just a few. While I worked\, I interacted with many idols and made some friends. My group\, also the people I'm going out with\, has NMIXX's Bae\, (G)- Idle's Yuqi and VIVIZ's SinB. So we are in total 4.  And when it comes to bragging about friends especially the one's who are idols\, I don't hold back. I have (G)- Idle's Shuhua and Kiss of Life's Belle. I'm single guys\, not lonely. *internally proud to say that*

I am usually unavailable so when I finally get time, I treats them. Well, it's not always me, but I don't refuse when they tell me (we are very straightforward with each other).  They are not planning to let me off tonight.  They'll make me broke in some time.

The dress code is 'casual' and 'girly' vibes- like.

Tonight, MAMA is also going to release the list of nominees for the 2024 MAMAs. They plan on releasing at 8 in the night because last time they kept it at 12 midnight and nobody could get good sleep. This eventually ruined the next morning for everyone. So we will be eating dinner at that time and will be able to congratulate each other for being chosen, encouraging them to do their best and win.

I'll be taking the subway today. It will be empty as I take it from the 5th last stop.

Wonderful! I got a seat too. I have 30 minutes before my stop arrives. I  can check my messages. First notification on my screen - 'Hongjoong Seonbae - 10 unread messages'. Do I deserve this? I literally just left. And he will definitely scold me if I don't reply. I can see a series of messages -- 'Hey', 'Have you left?', 'I want to tell you something urgently', etc. But the last message is 'Call me once you're free. It's urgent'

It was sent exactly 4 minutes ago. So should I call him now? I'll just message him.

'What is it Seonbae? Do you need my help in song-writing? For Ateez?' I like these fake scenarios.

'No'

'Then?'

'I can't tell you this over a message'

'Is it fine if I call you at 9:30/ 9:45 p.m.? I'm going out with my friends'

"That is why you wrote rubbish on the paper?'

'Please answer' I ask changing the topic.

'Yes. Don't forget'

'Okay then'

I wonder what he will do till then, I let my imagination run wild for some time and remind myself to put an alarm. Now let's just enjoy with my friends.

*Seonbae - senior in the same industry

......................

Dear readers, I hope you take this lightly. I do not mean to spread hate. I would like you all to understand that the personalities of the idols mentioned here may not be the case in real life.

I hope you all continue to support this and recommend which of your favourite idol should I add in this story.

I will be updating it every week on either Saturday or Sunday.

Enjoy~

I should just play some 'aesthetic' music so that I can enjoy but also hear everything happening to stay alert at the same time.

It sounds nice, cute...

Is my phone ringing? It's Yuqi. I have to pick up then.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hello?"

"Go on. Tell me what happened"

"How much more time?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes"

"2 more minutes"

"Okay".

My thoughts are going on about what Hongjoong Seonbae wants to talk to me about. Do I get a promotion? Wait! Do composers/producers get promotions? Does Sunbae think I'm pretty? No. Then what will happen to SeongHwa? Definitely not. No one can replace him.

…This is the last stop....

…Requesting all passengers to get off the train....

Let's get off the train peacefully, without any thoughts about Ateez. I still have to take a taxi till the restaurant. Let's hope I get one easily.

Looks like I don't need it anymore. Eunbi (SinB's real name) is here, waiting for me.

"Hi babe. I can't believe you remembered."

I can't help but embarrass her even though she has covered her face well.

"Hi! Of course, I'll do anything... for my darling"

Impressive! This is new to me. To have a group full of bold and bright people and to see her do something like this in public is so different. But, it's fine with friends. All fine.

Now the question is how did she know?

"How did you know?"

"Yuqi told me"

"Oh…"

"I was on my way, so I thought that I might as well pick you up."

"Mhhm"

This is her way of showing affection.

We were sitting in the car filled with pin-drop silence. Eunbi was not the type to start a conversation until it is about work and work is last thing she would want to discuss with me. She likes me when I work because I loose my carefree attitude and become serious. she said I'm cool, so I'm a cool rebel. So let me do the honours of starting a conversation with her. She might be waiting~

"So, how is work?"

"Nice"

"We should collaborate someti..."

"No, thank you. I will not be able to focus with you are around."

"Why?" I asked seriously.

"I can't stand your multiple personalities." she confessed.

"You say it like I'm the bad guy"

"No. You are a good person, good personality, the one with me. I like you." she said after thinking for a moment.

"Oh my God! Are you confessing your love to me?"

No!"

"So you do love me. It's just that you don't admit it"

"Think whatever you want. I don't have the energy to explain."

"OMG, are you getting old. I think 21 is still young"

"Except that I'm not. You know I'm 25, right? Also is annoying people your love language?"

"No. Mine is act of service. I annoy only the people I don't like."

"Liar."

I could see her face turning red. I also knew that she could have said many worse things but didn't.

"You are an exception" I told her.

"Okay"

"SinB, we have arrived"

So her manager was in the car the entire time. We get off and walk towards the restaurant.

"You treat us well" Eunbi said proudly.

"I have to"

We walked inside towards the reception.

"Hello. We have a reservation under the name of Yuqi, I believe."

"Yes ma'am. We will guide you to your table."

The fast response was a bit surprising.

"Ms Yuqi just arrived. She informed us about you.", he told us while taking us to the table.

Well, that explains what happened. For me, the rule is 'No matter where you are, you will always have to remain alert. This does not include your family and friends.'

We walked towards a table with 2 beautiful girls sitting across each other. That's Yuqi and Bae. Eunbi took the nearest seat. While helping her I did look around to see the people around us. I do not like seeing paparazzi around us while trying to enjoy privacy, and to my surprise it was totally different. I saw idols, choreographers, producers, composers and managers.

"Alice, should I help you.?"

I turned around to see Eunbi's manager.

"No, thank you"

She nodded and proceeded to sit on the table near ours with the managers of Yuqi and Bae. I took the seat that was left and smiled to greet everyone.

"Hello" I bowed my head a little to show my respect as I was the youngest of the gang. I'm 17 years old. Yes. I'm very young go be with them. I looked at Bae and gave her a warm smile. she always greets us with a bow while standing. One of the best things to see from the youth.

"What do you want to eat?"

She is seriously such an angel. I gave her a smirk.

"Do you not know?"

I heard of the choreographers talking about an idol who said something like that. So I had to try it.

"Let's be sensible, okay?"

That's the devil side we see of hers. But that's the end. Now, time to eat.

"Did you both order something?" I asked out of curiosity.

"No. Not yet." Yuqi said clearly indicating that she was waiting for us..

"Mhmm..."

We soon called the waiter and have our order.

"So Yuqi... How's (G)- Idle doing?" Eunbi asked her, knowing that she had not come last time.

"Good. We have just started getting ready for the new album, so there is a lot more to do yet."

"Nice"

"You?"

"Good. " she replied.

I turned my atttention to Bae who was smiling.

"I saw your performance for 'Run for Roses' and saw your posters. Your hairstyle and outfits for 'Dash'  were also very nicely done."

"Eonnie*, you saw the performance?" She addressed me as a senior even though I am younger because I am one of the producers for 'Run for Roses'. idols think of their backstage artists as family or seniors.

"I did. I really liked it"

"Thank you, eonnie"

"Chill, eonnie. You can be a devil with us. We are not even telling you to lose your good habits and manners." I told Bae.

She leaned back and sighed.

"I have some pain in my back, Alice. How about you massage it."

I looked so done.

"Chill. You do not need to be so tensed around us." she said.

I laughed. This Bae was a whole mood.

"You have trained her well Yuqi." I told her.

"Okay. So now I'm the villain?"

"Yes"

"Okay. Cool" She posed while taking out her tongue.

Somehow she become a next level of bold and extrovert with us.

"Babe. Don't mind her" Eunbi said leaning back.

"Of course, I won't. I don't even think about her. The only thing in my mind is you." Yuqi said winking.

Eunbi had a 'It's okay of its with the homies' side with us and Yuqi was like that all the time. She is also the 2nd girl flirting with Eunbi today.

Bae and I just cringed looking at this. Then I remembered.

"We're alive 'cause we are not alone." I said laughing.

Bae looked shocked.

I winked at her.

......................

*Eonnie - a term uses to refer to your elder sister. It can be used to refer to someone you consider as your sister.

I think Bae felt happy to know that. It was the way she expressed her happiness that I truly love.

"Okay guys. Let's get out of the carefree zone and be a little more serious." Yuqi took a minute before continuing.

"How are you all?" So simple and so important.

"Promotions are really stressful but I'm happy now that I am with you all" Bae answered.

"I'm good. Life is too fast to even notice much. But I'm happy to spend whatever time I can with you."

That is Eunbi's interesting answer.

Everyone now turned their attention to me.

"I'm happy and grateful. I may be young now but in the blink of an eye, I'll be in my 30s. I am happy that we can grow old together and I hope it remains the case forever."

That was my answer to a simple question of 'How are you?'

"So, Yuqi. How are you?" I asked. It only seemed fair.

"I'm good. Working as a backstage is hard, especially now. But other than that, I'm fine, thank you"

"You've never been only a backstage artist, so don't try in that sense. If we talk like that you'll know better that no job is easy. It's up to us to make a difference."

"Mhmm..."

The waiter came with the food. We were all so hungry and devoured the food as soon as it touched the table. It was peaceful. I mean, we did talk and laugh and gossip, but the thing is that we felt good with each other, something that was nostalgic.

We were done by 9:15 p.m. and I wish we could stay like that a little longer but we all had our own lives to deal with and in the entertainment industry we had to do everything while we were young. We did not have enough time. We never will.

We took out of the phones to see the list of nominees for AAA 2024. I saw VIVIZ's name in 'Fabulous Award - Music' list and didn't bother to see if their name came elsewhere. I saw (G)- Idle in 'Song of the Year'. I saw NMIXX's name in 'Best Artist Award -  Music'. Okay, now time to see if my name was there in The Producers/ Composers list*.

I looked and I was there! How? How? I wanted to cry. I just started doing this last year. How is it possible?

No! I will not cry. Let me see my competition. There is Woozi from Seventeen. I am for sure losing to him. Then there is Soyeon. Okay, not bad. And there was Hongjoong Seonbae- nim with a few of my colleagues from the other companies. What is happening? It looks like I'm against my mentors. The fact that they all taught me a lot when I worked as an assistant and junior, and to now stand in front of them as competition is just shocking.

I looked up to see all the girls staring at me. It was as if they saw a ghost.

"What?" I asked them.

"Congratulations, Alice" Eunbi was so happy for me that she got up and came to hug me.

"Thank you" I replied smiling.

"You are awesome. Good luck with your former teachers, Alice" said Yuqi laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked her.

"You and Soyeon" she replied and continued to laugh.

Bae sat in her seat and I looked at everyone. They were smiling so genuinely at me. I was so happy.

"So, I made progress after all" I said with tears in my eyes. I really wanted to cry but I couldn't. I couldn't show them I'm weak. I had to be strong. I can't act sensitive now. I had to work hard to win the award. I had to prove myself to the world. I made my tears vanish slowly. I, though, had many more thoughts which were interrupted by Yuqi.

"Our Alice has worked so hard for this. Do not back down and don't think that I'll go easy on you because your my friend too" Yuqi advice.

"Please try Soyeon to do her best. I will too." I told her.

I could do this. I will show them my best and nothing less. My mother, brother, staff, mentors, seniors and colleagues have encouraged me to continue writing songs and producing good music. If not for me, I would have to win it for them. They have done so much for me.

While I was busy with my own thoughts, Eunbi received a call.

"Okay then guys. I will be leaving first. I have a busy schedule tomorrow." she told us. I nodded.

"Bae and I are going together. Do you want to come with us?" Yuqi asked me.

"No thank you. I've arranged for and Ub*r. He will be here in 2 minu... he's here. Well, take about right timing." I lied.

"See Alice. I know you're feeling overwhelmed about being nominated but remain focused." Bae told me and I smiled, slightly surprised she advised me.

"You're new here, in this industry. I hope you take care of yourself well." she told me seeing my expressions.

"Don't worry, Eonnie. I'll work hard, always." I told her as we were about to get up.

I suddenly remembered about the bill. I'm not sure if Eunbi paid it and I might as well do it. I wouldn't mind this or anything else that will happen today.

When I asked the waiter, he told me it was paid by a lady before leaving. I assumed it was Eunbi and I should thank her while going back home.

We three walked down together. Yuqi asked Bae to wait in the car while she dropped me off to the Ub*r. I told her that it was ahead because I would get a round figure of the cost. She nodded and after confirming with me that I would be alright, she turned to leave. I called up my brother.

"Where are you?" I asked directly.

"Behind you."

*Guys, I had to create this award though it was not part of an actual AAA (Asia Artist Awards) list.. That 's how the FL will come to action.