On the 17th of October, a pivotal day altered my perceptions and emotions irreversibly. From a skeptic of love, convinced it was a sham, to embracing the beauty of affection and being utterly captivated by someone's essence.

Who could have foreseen that the girl who scoffed at romance and dismissed teenage relationships would find herself enamored by someone beyond her reach?

It unfolded at Munazza's birthday bash, a celebration for my very first friend in this new city where I embarked on my journey through junior college. Skipping classes with my companions, we arrived at her doorstep, unaware of the profound impact this day would imprint upon my heart and mind.

The cake cutting, initially set for 4:00, was dramatically delayed as Munazza's school friends arrived fashionably late at 4:30, extending the wait. Despite the delay, Munazza's entrance was breathtaking, stealing the spotlight effortlessly.

Amidst the excitement, my attention was unexpectedly captivated by another guest. Dressed in a simple white t-shirt and black denim jeans, he exuded quiet confidence and charm.

Despite his unassuming appearance, there was an undeniable magnetic pull about him, captivating me with every glance. Amidst the grandeur of the occasion, my eyes were irresistibly drawn to him.

I found myself stealing glances from time to time, unable to resist the allure of his presence. The thought of being caught in the act by either him or my friends sent a shiver of awkwardness down my spine. After all, how would I explain the inexplicable fascination that had taken hold of me in his presence?

I found myself in a completely new situation, feeling things I'd never felt before. The way I was drawn to him was unlike anything I'd experienced, leaving me both puzzled and captivated. Unlike my usual interactions with guys, where I kept things casual, he sparked a curiosity in me that I couldn't ignore.

In his presence, my mind was filled with questions I'd never thought to ask before. Who was he? What was his story? Just seeing him made me want to know more. It was like he opened up a whole new world of possibilities, making me want to understand him on a deeper level.

Despite trying to stay calm, I couldn't help stealing glances at him whenever I could. Each time I did, I felt more intrigued, as if there was something about him, I needed to uncover. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking, like solving a mystery that kept me wanting more.

Despite my desire to strike up a simple conversation with him, I found myself unable to do so. Fear seemed to have a tight grip on me, preventing me from taking that small step. It felt like a battle between my curiosity and my anxiety. If only I could gather the courage, maybe I could have initiated a friendly chat. But in the end, my nerves got the better of me, and I missed out on the chance to connect.

In the days that followed, his presence haunted my every thought, etching his features into the canvas of my memory. His face, so familiar yet so distant, lingered like an unfinished symphony. I could almost taste the sweetness of his smile. His laughter echoed in my mind, a bittersweet melody. But amidst the vivid recollections, there was a void—a silence where his voice should have been. Oh, how I longed to hear it, to hear him call my name, Hezlin , to feel the warmth of his words wrap around me like a comforting embrace. Yet, it remained a distant dream, forever out of reach, leaving me to yearn for a melody I feared I would never hear again.

As I discovered his name—David—a rush of realization flooded over me. Suddenly, everything fell into place, connecting him to the stories Munazza shared about .His kindness and generosity, his love for giving gifts to people every time he met and his brotherly presence in her life .It wasn't just about the gifts; it was about the genuine warmth and goodness he exuded, as described by Munazza.

A tinge of regret swept through me, knowing I hadn't been brave enough to reach out and befriend him that day. How different things might have been if I had just taken that chance to connect with him.

Well, it wouldn't be surprising if he had a couple of girlfriends at once, given how good-looking he is. His looks were like something out of a dream, the kind that makes you do a double-take just to make sure you're not imagining it. With every glance, it was like staring at a work of art, his features so perfect they seemed almost unreal. And that smile of his? It could light up a room in an instant, leaving everyone in its wake completely captivated. In simpler terms, he was basically the living definition of drop-dead gorgeous. I bet he's got girls lining up just to be seen with him. With those looks, he's probably the talk of the town, and I wouldn't be shocked if he's earned himself a reputation as a bit of a player.

Lost in my thoughts, I couldn't shake the image of him with another, imagining him with a girlfriend while he remained unaware of my feelings. The mere thought of someone else sharing his laughter, his secrets, his touch, ignited a flicker of jealousy within me. I couldn't help but wonder what made them worthy of his affection, what qualities they possessed that I lacked. Yet, amidst my jealousy, there lingered a bittersweet hope, a longing for a chance to capture his attention, to reveal the depth of my feelings, and perhaps even to discover a love that surpassed anything I had ever imagined.

Lost in my thoughts until my brother called out my name, "Hezlin? Hezlin?" Startled, I replied, "Yes, what happened? Is something wrong?" He handed me some books and exclaimed, "Is something wrong? I called you more than 9 times, where are you lost?" "I'm just thinking about my test report, you tell me what happened?" I deflected, trying to mask the real reason for my distraction.

"Help me with my homework," he requested. As I assisted him, I realized that David had been consuming my thoughts entirely. Why was I fixated on him? What was wrong with me? Why did my heart race whenever his name crossed my mind? I couldn't shake the feeling of being inexplicably drawn to him. It was as if he had cast a spell over me. And as I pondered these questions, a sense of unease settled over me, leaving me to wonder if perhaps there was more to my fascination with David than I dared to admit. I just don't know what is Wrong with me!

November snuck up on me before I even had time to catch my breath from October. Yet, no matter how the days blur together, one thing remains constant: he's always on my mind. It's like he's etched into every thought, refusing to fade away. Every memory of him brings a smile to my face, a little spark of happiness that I can't ignore. But amidst these thoughts, there's also a twinge of regret. I keep replaying the missed opportunities in my head, wishing I had just said something to him when I had the chance.

In this recent time, the only new things I've learned about him are his birthdate which falls on October 27th and that his Instagram account which is private. It's a bit disappointing that I haven't found out more about him. But besides that, I'm confused. Am I upset because I couldn't find out more about him, or because I'm scared to admit I might like him? It's a puzzling situation, leaving me feeling unsure about what to do next. The mix-up of my feelings makes everything even more confusing. But despite all the confusion, there's still a little part of me that's curious and hopeful that I'll figure it out eventually. Until then, I'm stuck thinking about it, trying to make sense of it all.

As November unfolds, it stretches out before me like an endless expanse, each day passing with the languid pace of a snail's journey. My mind, consumed by thoughts of him, seems to have detached from the rhythm of time itself. Lost in a labyrinth of longing, I navigate through each moment with him as my sole compass, oblivious to the world swirling around me. Every heartbeat echoes his name, every breath whispers his presence, and every tick of the clock is but a faint reminder of the eternity I spend yearning for him.

In this surreal state of fixation, minutes transform into eternities, each second expanding into a vast expanse of longing and desire. The passage of time becomes arbitrary, its boundaries blurred by the intensity of my emotions. I am caught in a relentless cycle of reminiscence and imagination, where memories intertwine with dreams, and reality fades into the background.

Yet, even as the world slows to a crawl, my obsession with him only intensifies. Every thought, every sensation, every fleeting moment is imbued with his essence, weaving a tapestry of longing that envelops me completely. Time itself becomes a mere bystander to the fervor of my emotions, a silent witness to the depths of my infatuation.

And so, I find myself suspended in this liminal space, adrift in a sea of unrequited longing, where each passing moment is but a stepping stone on the path to an elusive destination: his embrace.

I can't help but wonder if I've gone completely mad, consumed by thoughts of him to the point where I'm considering confiding in Munazza about my feelings for her best friend. I am not sure though if I should tell her .It's as if my mind has become a tangled web of emotions, where rationality is overshadowed by the overwhelming desire to express what I've been holding inside. The idea of revealing my feelings feels both terrifying and liberating, a risky leap into the unknown fueled by the intensity of my infatuation. Yet, despite the uncertainty, the thought persists, a constant whisper urging me to take a chance and lay bare my heart's true desires.