Happy

Life, was never easy.

“Happy, check this folder. The organization sent this for you.” I took my black-rimmed spectacles out of my white Kate Spade purse and put it on my eyes to give myself a clear picture of what was displayed in front of me.

It was not as simple as what they seemed to be. Not as simple as living with black and white.

I heard a hysterical cry within the background while letting my jet-black hair cascades down to the crevices of my fair neck that was exposed because of my dark tube top. I gently move my fingertips over one of the paintings that called my attention; focusing on its details without removing my whole attention from the lines that were being delivered by a speaker.

It was either good or bad.

In comparison with the other paintings within the folder, it was the only painting that was vibrant and lively. It screams something that I can’t explain. Hence, despite of its vibrancy it emits a subduing feeling in my insides. It was too good to the point that I felt bad because of its goodness.

No grays. No hues.

“Happy, make sure that you’ll be able to create a new masterpiece for this upcoming art convention which will be held at Paris. The organization also wants to see you by the end of this month.” My fingers which were gently caressing the smooth surface of the paper slowly sink in to its pigments.

Nothing in between.

“They also sent you this check for your outstanding performance this past few months. Aside from that, the higher ups mentioned that in regards to the favor that you were asking, it would only be approved if you accept their previous offer.” Withal, I crumpled the paper and prepared to throw it to his face but I got interrupted by woman’s voice.

“Thank you for being with us at this moment of time. I can’t seem to find the right words to express my gratitude to everyone of you since you decided to be with us and to be with my husband at his last moments to this wonderful world.  I am sorry if I can’t stop crying. You know that is hard for me to be separated with my husband.” She holds the microphone tightly while weeping like a seven-year-old child who lost her favorite teddy bear. She cried while trying to stop her tears from falling with the use of a familiar branded white handkerchief. After a few more dramatic scenes of her crying in front the casket of her late husband, a man walked to her and enveloped her into a warm hug.

A hug that are too far from a semblance of a normal mother and son embrace.

I don't know, but she does not deserve even a small amount of pity from me.

A moment later, she gently gave the microphone to the thin guy that hugged her. Based on my observations, our age gap might not be great. If I will calculate it, he might be in his mid-twenties like me but I’m probably a bit older. I assume that he is the death man’s son because he resembles the face of the man inside the coffin.  Aside from that, he has bloodshot eyes that might be caused by crying. Thus, there are no similarities with the man’s face and his mother’s face. She must be his step mother.

I can’t help but stifle my giggle while the thin looking guy strode to the front of the coffin.

"I love my father. He was a great father. He was my role model. My greatest ambition is to follow his footsteps. But, how can I do it now? He is already gone." he whispered on the microphone. I can't stop myself from smirking while looking at his puffy and pale face. His bruised hands shake.

Woah, amusing.

The smile plastered on my lips grew wider as I notice few scratches when he unconsciously  lifted up the ¾ sleeves of his black polo. Whispers of the guests echoed in my ears as they talk in approval about how good the dead man when he was alive. I cautiously tucked my black hair strands behind my ear as I grin from what I have heard.

"He sent me to a good university even though a writer doesn't make enough money. He's a respectable man and I knew that every one of you knows that too. I wish he will find happiness in heaven." he continued while letting his other hand to sneakily get something from his pocket and played with it using his wounded fingers. A white stick with a brownish top fell on the green grass. He was about to picked it up but his gestures easily captured the crying woman’s attention and stopped him from picking it up.

Cigarettes. Huh? I will not be surprised if he is also a drug addict and an alcoholic guy. I think my guess was right. I shook my head as a laugh in my head.

I really cannot find any pity within my heart. Funerals were certainly nothing but a show created to deceive people and to deceive yourself.

Truth must be told.

Funerals are just an event for those people who wants to speak greatly about a lifeless body lying in a cold coffin who could not even hear whatever they were saying. A soft melodious song started to play in the background as everyone prepares their farewell to the dead. Everyone stood up and gently put white roses over the black casket one by one.

It is really amusing to know why they were doing this kind of event.

"No! Don't bury him yet! I love you!" the wife wept, slightly bowing her head to hide her face behind her long blonde hair. She sobbed loudly but in a span of seconds, the sadness in her lips vanished. The small smile was obvious in her face. She smiled looking like she won the lottery.

"Dad! I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!" the son shouted while trying to reach his father's coffin which is slowly sinking into the dirt. He looks guilty but what is the use of it when it is too late and when it is fake.

For the family members, funerals are just the requirement before having the distribution of inheritance.

"He was an awesome writer. Too bad he's too kind and the heaven wants him already." a man said followed by some low chuckles from a group of people.

For some people, funerals are a place to commemorate for the dead even though you are not sincere.

"Happy."

"What?" I simply replied to Bob which is my foster parent. I gently wore my hoodie which was placed on my lap and took my pursed that was sitting beside me.

"Let's go." he said as he led the way through where our car was parked.

"How was it?" he asked while starting the engine of the car.

"Still nothing." I answered. I looked down and opened my white Chanel purse and searched for my compact mirror.

Before we could leave the place, a familiar siren echoed around the cemetery. Two police mobiles parked in front of our car which immediately brough out four armed policemen. I have bitten my lip as I watched the scene that was laid in front of me.

People make way for the policemen until they have reached the two people that were crying right before the grave of their deceased family member. The guests gasped and some whispered as they have heard the seven words that the police mumbled.

“You are arrested for murder, Mr. Yael Silva.”

"If you continue like this Happy the organization might dispose you. You have to find new inspirations and new subjects." he said as he starts the car.

I ignored him and took a glimpse at my face using the compact mirror. Then, I burst out laughing as I heard the desperate pleas of the woman. I put my compact mirror down and continued to laugh as I watched the other policeman handcuffed the woman earlier.

“I did not kill him. Don’t handcuff me please, Officer.”

“You are under arrest for being an accomplice of Mr. Yael Silva.”

The woman continuously begged to the police officers, but her cries were not heard as pleas. It was all noises that irritated people. Hence, for some it was a juicy gossip to remember.

“It was his son that killed him! I only helped him move his body, but I am telling you the truth when I said that I did not kill him. Believe me, please. Hear me out!”

Hear me out.

I stopped laughing when I heard that certain voice again.

"Are you even listening to me Happy?" he asked like a person who's about to lose his last string of patience.

"Like they can." I simply said while brushing my long black hair.

"You know that I'm not joking Happy!" he yelled. Did he think he can scare me with that?

"I'm also not joking. They won’t." I looked at his face through the rear-view mirror.

"You know that I'm just saying this because I care for you Happy." he whispered as he avoided looking through my eyes.

I simply stared at my hands and laughed in my head like I'm hearing the best joke of the year. I honestly knew why they are still keeping me and why he adopted me.

It was simply because of...

Money.

"Ahh! Oh! Oh!" the girl under me writhed in pleasure as I moved my hips behind her vigorously.

"I can't breathe! Ugh!" she begged and I don't care. I continued to choke her neck and plunged deeper into her while she grabs the headboard for support. Her body arched from the white mattress of the bed and let her flushed skin hit on mine.

"Please stop! I'm about to! Stop!" she cried. I'm nearing and I won't stop even if she begs hard. She should not have approached me if she's too weak. Instead of stopping, I moved faster and rougher than before, not minding if she can’t breathe because of my grasps.

I released her neck as I reached my peak. I stood up after I recovered. I cleaned myself and wore my clothes without looking at the girl that I used. I threw the used condoms on the trashcan near the maroon door.

"You know what to do with this girl." I said as I noticed my assistant outside when I have opened the door.

"I understand Sir. By the way, I already found her." he said while he handed me a red folder.

"Now I know your name." I whispered while browsing at the content of the folder.

———————————————————————————————————————

HAPPY

"Where are you going?! You have to paint again!" Bob shouted as he hurriedly followed me; while I'm walking through the door of our house or should I say my house?

"We already talked about this yesterday. Happy! Happy!" He resumed. He ran after me with his elegant gray four buttoned suit and shiny black Italian leather shoes.

“Happy!”

I hate to hear my name. It sounds so ironic.

“Happy, are you out of your mind again!?” He exclaimed.

Every time I hear it, all I can feel was pure contempt. Everything makes me sick especially my name and the organization. But, what can I do? I can't run away from them. I can't hide. They always know where I am. They always know where to find me. I do not have any choice but to live as their puppet and do everything that they want. I must find a way to have their approval for the favor that I was asking. It’s the only thing that can help me to find my inner peace.

"I will just go to the new coffee shop nearby and find some new subjects for my painting." I answered. I straightened my black peplum skirt using my palms and slightly dusted off my white halter top that has a small print of an ocean wave on its right chest.

"Thank God." he murmured breathlessly.

Funny, how easily that certain word escaped from his lips. I looked at him for a moment and smirked. I stood straight in front of him, acting proud and unafraid.

"Keys." I said as I lend my hand in front of him.

He stared at my hand unconsciously not knowing what to react in response. So, I whistled while waiting for him and in a blink of an eye, he gave me the car keys. He put up a wide smile on his wrinkled face, as he tucked his hands inside his ash-toned trousers.

"Take care."

I quickly walked towards his car and started its engine as fast as I can after entering because I'm worried that he might change his mind. I drove around the city and found a café near by the city bridge.

"Welcome to the Beans." the staff greeted me as she opened the door for me. I smiled at her in return and then I find a table near a wide white-trimmed glass window with an overlooking view of beautiful scenery of the Sage bridge. I scanned the whole place, there are still no customers around. Maybe because it is too early. The coffee shop isn't that big, though it looks neat. It is so simple and so cozy.

I just find everything calming yet strange.

The brown woody interior and the yellow lighting made me feel calm. But I find the aroma of the coffee bizarrely familiar. The smell of the coffee is nothing but nostalgic. I’m not sure where I smelled it but I think I already did once. Was it from a foreign country that I already visited?

"Ma'am, what do you like to order?" a voice behind me asked.

I suddenly stopped looking around and rashly opened the menu to hide my embarrassment from being in dazed. I browsed the list and looked for something that I want.

"A cup of espresso and a slice of blueberry cheesecake." I said while flipping the pages of the menu.

"Is that all ma'am?" I just nodded at him in response. He is kind of young. Maybe younger than me. Although his soft features are undeniable his black crew-cut hair makes him look quite matured.

As the waiter walked farther, I can't't help myself but stare at the barista. I don't know why I'm staring at a stranger but I think he is also kind of familiar. I just can't point it out. His long blonde hair cascades like waterfalls over his shoulders while his eyes are intently looking at the cup of coffee on his hands. He glides like water. Flowy and graceful.

"Staring is rude." the guy said as his blue eyes meet my green ones. I avoided his intent gaze. I played with my fingers because I felt uncomfortable because of the stare that he is giving me.

"Sorry." I muttered.

"Don't mind him, Ma'am. Eugene is really arrogant. I'm sorry for his bad attitude." I looked up and noticed that it was the waiter earlier. He carefully placed my order on the table and throw a death glare on the guy named Eugene.

"It's okay. My fault." I responded. He just smiled at me in reply. He lowered his head a little and whispered something that made my face red.

"Eugene is single. I can give you his number since you are gorgeous. You can surely pass Eugene's criteria." I shook my head in embarrassment because of what he said.

"Stop that, Sean. I can still hear you." the guy with the name Eugene said it calmly. Still wiping the mugs in front of him.

"I'm just entertaining our first customer Eu." Sean, the waiter chuckled and smiled again to me.

"Ma'am, enjoy." The guy named Sean grinned at me as he placed a teaspoon and a paper towel in front of me.

As I finished eating, I stood up and put some money over the table napkin for a tip. I was about to walk away when the guy Eugene approached me.

"Hey, I won't say sorry for earlier." he said. I didn't  know how he just turned on my anger switch but he just did.

"Then I take back my sorry earlier." I replied while confidently looking at his ocean-like eyes. I couldn't help but look at it and feel something that was extremely familiar unlike earlier. It was unexplainable.

"You can't take back your sorry little one and for the second time staring is rude." he arrogantly smiled and looked down on me since he's height is around six feet tall and I'm just around 5'4. I quickly averted my eyes away

from him.

"Woah is this how you treat your customers?" I retorted while holding into my skirt to stop myself from punching him. I didn't know why I suddenly felt like I want to murder this person.

"Sometimes." He simply said.

I bumped him intentionally as I walked past him. I walked further but I stopped when Iheard a voice that called my name.

“Happy.”

I didn't know where it came from. I looked around but I only saw a lot of people busily walking on the street.

Maybe it was just in my head.

HAPPY

"Don't cry. I will help you. Please stop crying." He's staring at me while trying to stop me from crying. I'm sure that he's looking at me even though I couldn't see his face clearly but based from his stature he might be a nine-year-old child.

"You shouldn't cry. You are strong. I'll help you out. Okay?" His words were like magic, my younger self stopped from crying. He caressed my hair and I felt safe. I was about to close my eyes when suddenly he disappeared. The boy vanished amidst the dark space that was enveloping me and my frail body. I tried to walk in the middle of the darkness when all of a sudden, I sunk.

 The absence of color was changed into a surrounding covered with the depths of blue. I felt the weight of water hit on my whole body as it went in contact with all of the scars and the wounds that I have. I am submerged under the sea feeling nothing but sorrow and the coldness that was brought by its waves. Gradually, the weight becomes heavier and heavier.

Then, the air that I was breathing vanished with the shade of the blue-colored water.

 I couldn't breathe.

 "No! No! Don't leave me! Help me!"

I woke up looking for some air to breathe. I grasped my shaking hands into my white  wooden bedside table that caused my lampshade and books to fell on the ground. I don’t know what to do but I have to breathe. I have to breathe. I hurriedly clutched one of my hands over my chest and held on to it tightly as I used my free hand to beat myself harshly. I beat myself harder when I can’t get myself to breathe. Slowly, I breathe as my tears continue to fall.

"Happy?! Open the door!" Bob shouted from the outside.

"Happy, are you okay?! Answer me!" he continuously knocks at the door like he's trying to break it. My tears continuously fell from my emerald orbs as I hear a deafening sound inside my head.

"Happy! If you won't open this door, I’m going to break it." Bob warned.

I hurriedly fixed myself, I wiped off my tears and finger brushed my long jet-black hair. I walked towards the door and opened it, acting like nothing happened. As I unlocked it Bob enveloped me in an embrace. He looks worried but, I know that this was just a part of his acting. I knew that he is just trying to make me trust him for the organization.

"What do you think you are doing?" I spoke. With that, he released me from his tight embrace. I dusted off my pajama and rolled my eyes. His touch disgusts me.

"Nothing. I'm glad you're fine." he said.

"Okay. I will sleep again. Don't disturb me." I closed my door to his face and went back to bed. I'm sleepy but I couldn't sleep. I tried to blink my eyes a couple of times, helping myself to sleep even though I'm afraid that my nightmare will haunt me again if ever I close my eyes.

After a lot of trials, I surrendered. I laid on my bed wide awake. It's been a week since I started having this series of nightmares. It began after I heard that voice. That familiar voice. I didn't know what is the connection of that voice in this nightmare that regularly haunts me. But, thinking about it makes me feel nervous and scared. I instantly cover myself with my thick blanket as I heard the voice in my head.

——————————————————————————

 BOB

It's been a week since I noticed that Happy regularly screams at midnight. At first, I just thought that she was just trying to put on a show to find a way to run away from us. But now I confirmed that it is not like that, it is because of a nightmare and it makes me appalled.

I grabbed my phone and dialed a familiar number yet I didn't dare to name this person. I keep on dialing the number but he won't answer my damn phone call.

"Answer me!" I angrily punched the wall. I don't know what to do. I'm already sweating hard.

"Answer me." I can't stop myself from fidgeting My hand trembled as I redial his number using my burner phone.

"What do you need?" the guy on the line answered me like he is expecting my call but he intentionally chose not to answer my first ten calls.

"You know what I need!" I yelled back. I can't avoid myself from walking back and forth. I can't calm myself. I can't let it happen again.

"I will not know what you need if you won't tell me" he answered then I heard him laughing with some other guys.

"They are back  and don't laugh like this thing is so funny. I'm not even joking. You know the consequences of what we did so help me." I said while wiping off some sweat that's on my forehead.

"Beg me." He spoke.

"Are you crazy?! Let's be serious here." I scowled at him as I continue to fidget. Sweating hard. I can feel my hand shake as I shivered. I can't feel my feet on the ground. I feel floating.

"You are crazier." he said as he laughs hideously. I was waiting for more reactions from him but I gained nothing. He just dropped the call ignoring my warning. I guess he's prepared for what may happen next.

"Bob, I thought we are going to an exhibit." I look behind me and I saw Happy. She's wearing a black dress and a yellow blazer that is paired with black stilettos. Her face was the same as before, cold and blank. Expressionless in other terms.

Trying to focus, I fixed my suit and followed her as she went to our car and acted like a professional. As we entered the car, I asked her to put on her blue wig and black face mask as usual.

"Seriously? You'll let me wear this?" she angrily grabbed the wig and the facemask.

"It's for your safety. We used to do this too, Happy. Nothing is wrong if you will do it again." I replied. I sneakily glance at her through the rear-view mirror. I watched her wear it all even though I know it's against her will. I know

that this won’t make a big difference but it’s the only thing that I can do for her.

It's the only way I know Happy.