Let's us take a look at what it takes to try and make a difference in the world. The untold story of failure that many people never come to hear about because it is all glory in success but how many people can learn from the wrong decision someone - somewhere - somehow made by some miracle this wrongness in my decision will help you to shape your success or in another reality I would have made a different choice and I would be in a different future.

This is  "Am I wrong?"

There is a back story to this, I promised I will share one of this day but now let me leave with this gut-ranging mistake I made to people around me that jeopardize everything I have sacrifice god damn 3 years for - I lost it all. I even lost the bigger picture in trying to save someone I dismiss their growing pain which let them to lose everything they had.

I was part of something new - innovative. Develop to help people become better or perhaps richer even, I poured myself into the experiment and thus poured in resource upon resource into the researches all to make a difference in someone life that was the "bigger picture" it was never about me or my team or the research it was about how the research would eventually make a difference.

It was a tremendous success when it was first launched. We were on cloud 9 and nothing was going to bring us down we saw light in the research that we build with blood sweat and so much tears. We saw the movement - people were chasing after our success trying to be like or better but we were the best for a moment it was the best we say screw it to anything really because we know this will work and we can do anything.

Our confident was going to doomed us, I lost myself in trying to be better than before when I could just be better for the people I was trying to help and that I promised to help. I never say sorry to them I think even until today I never admit how I and my entitlement kill people and unforgivably kill this research or this success however short live it may have been.

Pride kill innovation, pride kill success and pride kill part of me and kill the people that I love and the people I promised to help - who ultimately must have blind faith in a faulty shield of a person that is me. I could have listen to them - they are the purpose and when the purpose you try to hard to achieve is lost to you slow and surely you lose yourself, unconsciously becoming a molded version of your own accomplishment that is dated and expired when you lost the bigger picture.

I become someone who chased after high like an addict I was not looking at the bigger picture because I was looking at someone else picture, well crafted and designed to manipulate something out of nothing. I had something and I lost it because I was chasing after a disappearing and fleeting high and like a child I blame everything and everyone but never me because I was entitled to think I could achieve a manufacture belief based on a picture someone else curated to fit their narrative and goal which was never mine.

I just hope I did kill or hurt too many people to save them now. I hope I am not too late in my own selfishness and blind way to help firstly my team who is just like me could not see or lost what it means to make a difference. It can start with the first person I see everyday.