Ava

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was

here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies. It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is

my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

Forehead before he steps away from me and goes back to his food.

I stand there awkwardly. This used to be my home, but now I feel out of place in it. Like I don’t belong.

In truth though, I never did.

Knowingly or unknowingly, he built this house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything down to the color scheme.

That should have been the first indication that he wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he wouldn’t reciprocate my love for him.

“What are you doing here?” he asks in annoyance and stares at his watch. “You promised you wouldn’t interrupt my time with Noah”

“I know...I got the divorce degree today and I thought I could bring you the copy while I pick up Noah”

His face turns stone cold and his lips form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me breaks. I’ve loved him since I can remember but that doesn’t mean a damn thing to him. Over and over, he has broken my heart and shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on. Thinking things will change, but they never did.

When we got married I thought I would finally get love. The love I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost of a girl I could never measure up to no matter how much I tried.

I rub my chest. Trying to ease the pain that was encased there.

It does no good. It still fucking hurts even though we’ve been separated for months.

“Noah, could you go up to your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word mother slipping out of his mouth in disgust.

He looks between us for a minute before nodding.

“No fighting” he commands before leaving. As soon as he is out of ear shot, Rowan bangs his fist on the counter in anger. His grey eyes are icy as he addresses me.

“You could have sent them to my damn office instead of interrupting my time with my son” the words leave his lips in a growl. His

hands are fisted and he looks about ready to blow up on me.

“Rowan...” I sigh, unable to complete the sentence.

“No. F***ing No! You turned my life upside down nine years ago, you did it again when you asked for that fucking divorce, was it your way of hurting me? Separating me from my son because I couldn’t love you. Newsflash Ava, I fucking hate you”

He’s breathing hard by the time he’s done. The angry words tumble out of his mouth like bullets shooting straight at me. I feel them pierce my heart. Each word shattering my already fragile heart.

“I-I...”

What’s there to say when the man you still love says he hates you?

“Just get out of my fucking house...I’ll bring Noah home when my time with him is over” he snaps.

I put the divorce decree down on the counter. I was going to apologize when my phone rings. I take it out of my bag and check the caller ID. MOTHER.

I wanted to ignore it but she never calls me unless it’s something important.

I swipe the screen and bring the phone to my ear.

I sigh “Mothe...”

She doesn’t give me chance to finish my sentence.

“Get to the hospital now! Your father has been shot” she says almost hysterically before hanging up.

My phone slips from my hand. I’m shocked.

“What is it?” his voice penetrates my brain.

Heart racing, I don’t look up as I pick my phone and answer him.

“Father has been shot”

“I need to go, could you please stay with Noah? I don’t know how long I’ll be there” I say absent mindedly as I pick up my handbag.

“Sure. I’ll be there as soon as I can get my mother to come baby sit him” Rowan responds but it is drowned by the ringing in my ears.

Nothing much registers as I say goodbye to my son and leave. I get inside my car and begin to drive to the hospital. My mind completely lost in memory.

Growing up, you could say that I was emotional neglected. I was the child that none of my parents cared that much about.

Father’s favorite was my older sister, Emma. He used to call her his baby girl. His princess. Mother’s favorite was my older brother Travis. He was her handsome boy. I was no one favorite. I was just Ava.

I always felt unwanted. Unwelcomed. Not only with my parents but also with my siblings. No matter what I tried to do, good grades, sports, school clubs. I always remained in the sidelines. I always felt like a stranger looking in. Never part of the big happy family.

After what happened nine years ago, the little relationship I had with my family became none existence. Travis rarely talked to me and he and father would even go to great lengths to downright snub me. Mother wasn’t much different. She only talked to me or called when she had something important to tell me. With my sister that was a completely different case. We haven’t seen or talked to each other in nine years. The last words she told me was that I was dead to her. That she no longer had a sister.

Now here I am. Driving to the hospital because father has been shot and all I feel is numb. Despite everything that has happened. Shouldn’t I be feeling something more? Maybe sadness?

What are you supposed to feel when you’re told that the father who shunned you all your life is lying in bed with a bullet wound?

How am I supposed to react? And is it weird that I feel nothing?

The whole drive to the hospital is reflective. As I think of my childhood and even part of my adulthood. The pain and hurt is still there. I don’t think the pain of rejection from my own family will ever go away.

That’s who I am. A rejected woman. First by my family, then by my husband and in laws. The only one who accepts me and loves me just the way I am is Noah. It doesn’t take long to get to the hospital. We had one main big hospital in this town and I just knew that’s where my father was.

Parking my car, I get out. The cool evening air ruffles my hair. I take a deep breath and square my shoulder before entering the building.

“I’m looking for James Sharp, I believe he was brought in for a gunshot wound” I tell the receptionist once I get to the front desk.

“Any relation?” she asks.

“He’s my father”

She nods her head. “Give me a minute.” She pauses while she types on her computer. “Right, he is in the ER, getting prepped for surgery. Just go straight ahead, at the end you’ll see the emergency door. You’ll find your family there”

“Thanks”

I turn around and follow her instruction. My heart beating with every step I take.

‘He’s going to be okay. He’ll recover soon and go back to his old self’ I whisper to myself.

Despite our differences I wanted him to be well. He and I may not have a relationship but he’s loving towards Noah and that’s all I can ever ask for. I push the door and enter. I immediately spot mother and Travis on the waiting chair. I school my features and approach them.

“Mother, Travis” I say as a way of greeting. They both look up at me. Mother’s eyes are bloodshot from crying and her blue sundress is covered in blood. Travis’ eyes are

dry but you can still see how much this is affecting him. He was trying to keep it together for mother’s sake. I take a sit next to her. “What happened and how is he doing?”

The question brings on about of fresh tears.

“He was shot twice on his way back from the store, right outside our house. I called the ambulance immediately and we brought

him here. The doctors say one of the bullets pierced his lungs and the other his kidney. They’re preparing him for surgery” her voice catches at the end. I nod my head. I want to comfort her. To hug her, but I don’t think my touch would be welcomed.

“Don’t worry. Father is the strongest man I know. He’ll be okay” I try to reassure her. She doesn’t say anything. Just continues to cry.

Minutes later they bring father out. He’s dressed in a hospital gown and is lying on a hospital bed. Travis and mother immediately stand up and rush to his side. I stay seated. I’m pretty sure my face is the last thing he wants to see. He would rather it be Emma’s. I watch as mother cries over him. He weakly wipes her tears but they keep falling. He tells Travis something and Travis nods. His

face etched in determination. Before they take him away, I see him hand over what looks like a paper to mother. This brings fresh tears running down her face.

She kisses him and they wheel him away. Mother and Travis come back and take their seats. We don’t talk as we begin the long wait.

I stand up, I pace, I sit back down. I get everyone coffee. As each minute passes, I grow more anxious and so do the rest. Two and half hour later, the doctor comes to the waiting.

From the somber look on his face, I just know that father didn’t make it. Mother senses the same thing because she starts

hiccupping. “He went into cardiac arrest, we tried everything we could, but we weren’t able to save him. I’m sorry for your loss” he says.

The sound that tears out of mother’s lips is animalistic. Full of pain and sorrow. Travis catches her before she falls and they both sink to the floor. Both crying at the loss.

Father was dead and I knew that meant that Emma would have to come back.

“I don’t care what’s possible or not. You ran my daughter off nine years ago with your betrayal. I won’t let you do that again especially now that your father is no longer with us and we need each other” she says through clenched teeth.

I hate how they keep throwing the past in my face. Haven’t I already paid enough for the actions I took when I was young and foolish? Yet they keep punishing me.

“In case you’ve forgotten I’m also your daughter or am I also dead to you?”

I don’t give her the chance to answer. I stand up and leave. I needed fresh air. I needed to think.

Once I’m outside I breathe in the cold air. Tears sting my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. What am I even doing here? Why did she bother calling me if she feels like she only has one daughter?

Part of me wants to walk away right now and never look back. After all, I never considered myself part of their family and they didn’t consider me as one of their own too. I should just leave and forget about them just like they seem to have forgotten about me.

“Ma’am are you James Sharp’s daughter?” a nurse appears scaring the shit out of me.

I nod my head after calming down my erratic beating heart.

“You’re needed. They’re viewing the body” she softly tells me, probably trying to be mindful of my feelings.

“Okay, just give me a minute”

She leaves after that giving me the space to make my decision. Despite his neglect, he still provided for me so I owe him. With that, I make a decision. I would give him a proper burial, then after that I would wash my hands from them.

They could be the perfect little family. They would no longer have to put up with me like they have been doing.

Going back inside, I ask for the direction to the morgue. By the time I get there, the rest had already finished viewing his body.

I look down at him. Lying cold in the slab. He looks so at peace. Kind of like he does when he is asleep. You would think that he is just resting. Instead he was dead. His soul long departed from his body.

“Goodbye father” I tell him.

I give him one last look before leaving the cold room. I shake off the heaviness that settles over my heart knowing he wasn’t the only one I would be saying goodbye to. They would never love me. It was time I let go of that fantasy.

I get to the waiting area and take the furthest seat. Mother was sorting out papers and bills. Travis was staring at the wall, looking

lost and alone. Rowan was nowhere to be seen.

Sitting there, I think of all I have to do. It would be nearly impossible to avoid them but I was determined. This is the only way I knew to protect my peace. I was tired of being constantly in pain. Tired of my heart constantly being wounded by those around me.

I hear a commotion near me and I look up. That’s when I’m hit with her sight. She’s still as beautiful as ever. Long blonde hair, endless legs, heart shaped face and a S**y body that drives men crazy. Travis is hugging her. Whispering comforting words. Something he didn’t do for me when I arrived. Just like always the longing

and pain hits me, but I push it back.

They separate just as Rowan arrives. The moment he sees her, his knees buckle. I can see the way his Adam’s apple bobbles.

“Emma?” his word is chocked as he calls her name. So many emotions put on that one name. Her head swivels in his direction. The moment their eyes meet, everything else fades away. It’s like nothing exists but the two of them. Quicker than the Flash can move, they’re in each other’s arms. If I though seeing Travis hug Emma hurt then I had no idea how this would tear me apart. How it would destroy me.

Emma was back.

Seeing her in Rowan’s arms, no one needed to tell me the truth that was always in my face. He was still madly

in love with her even after all these years.