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You're hopeless!!

Are you even my son??

Go and die!!!

You really are son of a bitch!!

Your mom did so much and now you?!

I hate you!!

Kim Jaechan, you fucking creature!

Go die!!

You don't deserve me!!

I regret on wasting my time on you!!

Go die, go die, go die, go die.........

Mom only if you were here.

There would be at least someone, who would take care of me and love me.

Why is my fate playing with me?

Why am the one, who is always abandoned?

Why am I the one, who is always thrown away?

You told me that, there is a purpose every person is born for....is this the purpose I'm born for?? To suffer, to get hatred, to feel pain, to be shattered, to be all alone??

Why?? Why it's all the time me??

My life, itself is a trauma....

But I kept my promises, mom...

I kept my promises, never to give up, never to loose hope, I never let my pain hold me back but now....

I'm over, I can't take it anymore..

I miss you.

You were the only one who loved me, who understood me,

If no-one cares about me, what's the point of living??

I'm exhausted of living this soulless life.

My smile that you loved is no more...

It's now hold back by the webs of lies and loneliness.....

Everyone whom I care and love, leaves me all alone, leaves me broken and leaves me crying.

Even you mom, you left me, that small boy, you left him all alone crying on the rain, waiting for his mom to wake up but she never did. All alone, you left me far away...very far away.

But now, don't worry mom,

I'm coming to you mom...

Wait a bit more...

I'm sorry...

Sorry mom!!

Single tear rolling down my face, paving it's way to be followed by the stream that begged me to let it flow..

My mind was filled with hatred not for others but for myself...

Why was I this way??

Why was I made this way to be hated??

Everyone who made me smile results to be the reason behind my most ugliest frown....

I don't have any reason to hold on, to live on anymore....

With the thought of the girl, I loved the most, the one who loved me the most, my mom, the most beautiful girl I ever saw, thinking about her, a guilty smile found its way to my face.

The most sorrowful tear left my eyes, and landed down the basement, I was six feet above. I close my eyes....and felt the chill air around me, trying to feel back all my past sorrows, and putting away all my frown, I smiled a beautiful smile, that my mom loves for the one last time, I took a step forward and felt my body being pulled down by the gravity and my soul being pulled up by my greed to die.....

Just some more seconds and I'm freed.

I'll be away, very far away not putting any burden on anyone....

But then suddenly I felt something and nothing, and I went black...........

Sorry, mom!!

I'm coming to you!!

...☆...

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I opened my weak eyes hoping, that mom would be next to me, smiling at me and ready to welcome me with a tight warm hug.

But no, it wasn't, instead I heard some mumbles around the corners.

Recognising that those mumbles were of my dad, sorry, of Mr. Kim, I kept my eyes still, not wanting to face that devil at the moment.

"How could he do like that??" I heard a thundering voice echoed the room.

That voice was non other than Mr. Kim's

" How could he??" He got furious.

Is her really caring about me??

" Was this freaking creature gonna jump from Kim's Tourist Hotel?? Didn't he find any other place??" He shouted facing at my side, Jin-hyung was between him and me, avoiding him to do anything.

"Dad!! It's a hospital!!" Jin tried to slow him.

"I fucking don't care!! If he had really died from the fall, our hotel, the one that I bought up sacrificing everything would just become a damn freaking haunted house." He shouted at Jin-hyung.

Hah!! What was I even thinking!

Kim Joo-in caring about Kim Jae Chan?!

Hah! Never.

"Dad!! That isn't your hotel, Jae Chan's mom, had legally gifted that hotel to Jae Chan." Jin mumbled out.

By hearing this retortion of Jin-hyung, Mr. Kim was shock, his good boy and lovely son just retorted him back because of me, he could not accept that.

"So, you're supporting that punk??" He shouted pointing at me.

"He isn't a punk dad, he's my brother!!" Jin shouted back at him, taking everyone off guard.

" Aigoo!! Kim Seok Jin!! Is that how you talk to your father??" Jin's mom shouted back at him.

" Pls..leave!! Leave me, and my brother alone!! Even if none, I'm always by his side!!" Jin said pointing the exit.

" Jin, your hopeless!! And let this freak wake up, you'll know what's the consequence of talking back to me!!" He last whispered, loud enough to let everybody in the room hear, and stomped away banging the door nearly to break off.

H-hyung??" I mumbled out his name.

"Jae Chan?? You're awake?? Thank gwad. You finally woke up after a deathly whole week!!" He said, jogging up to my bed. And held my hand.

" Hy-hyung??" I mumbled out again, not able to choose my words. A Ssngle tear rolled down my face which was full of guilt, and shame.

"No don't! you should take rest!!" He gave a smile and wiped away my tear.

I held back his hand tight, realising that, Jin-hyung was always there for me, always, but I, was the one who always pushed him back.. and assumed that there was non by my side.

I wasn't alone this whole time, Jin-hyung was the one who stood back behind me, to catch me from my falls, and pulled me up when I'm missed.

"Hyung!! I-I'm sorry!!" Those were the only words that could escape my lips.

" No, Jae Chan, no!! I AM SORRY!! I couldn't protect you, I couldn't help you, I couldn't save you!! I'm not worth be called your brother. I'm sorry!!" He bursted out with guilty tears flowing down his face like a stream.

"J-Jin hyung!! No, it's me!! I couldn't understand........ actually I didn't wanted to understand, your value. I was never alone, you were there, you stood for me all the time, but I never accepted that." I followed him after I saw him bursting.... all my feelings that were bottled in bursted out.

"No, Jae Chan! You can't be weak like this!! You have to keep your promise you did to mom, your mom. You have to be storng, And now af-after.... I tell you tha....sigh*"

Jin condolenced me, but stop before completing his word.

"Wh-what hyung?" I asked him, but got no response.

"Tell me?? Tell me what happened??" I asked him again, exaggerating tension dominating my facult body.

"A gi-girl, she saved you, and got injured too and..."

"And?? Jin-hyung tell me, what happened to her?? Is she okay? Hyung?!" I asked sitting up and hands clinged to his arms...but my weak body didn't supported that, I felt back to the white coated bed.

"Sh-she is in a critical condition!!"

......☆......

A/N: Actually I had updated some 3 chapters in Chatstory but deleted it again... because I wanted to write this story as a novel...

《Time skipped 》

It's been a month, she isn't up yet!!!

Why is she suffering because of me??

Mr. Kim was right, I'm born just to be a burden on someone's live and a curse to someone's life.

"Jae Chan??" Jin-hyung called me snapping me from my dull thoughts.

"Ne?!" I beamed him a smile, which he knew was fake.

"Jae Chan! Don't worry!! She's out of danger. You're here from the day you got discharged. Come home!!" Jin said, hoping to hear an 'okay' from me.

"It's okay... I'm okay hyung!! And anyway, this place feels more like home, than my actual home!!" I gave him a weak smile for assurance which didn't seemed to work.

"And plus.. I don't think so it is a good idea to get back home, dad, I mean Mr. Kim, won't let the situation go ease!!" I added.

"Jae Chan!!! Don't be like this!!" He held my shoulder and patted it gently, wanting me to know that he is there. But there was nothing he could say more, he knew that I wasn't wrong.

"Excuse me sir!! The patient in room no. 273, is she your relative??" A nurse came up to us.

" Y-yes!!" Both of stood up in curiousity, about what she is gonna say next.

"She is up!!" She responded short, and looked at us with hopeful eyes that we'll lit up.

We passed an unsure glance at each other for a second trying to comprehend her statement.

"Wh-what??" I stared at her waiting for her respond back....

"She is awake!!" She smiled back.

As soon as, I was sure about what she meant, a sunshine smile found its way to my dull face that always stays so cold.

And without waiting or bothering about anything I ran up 160 steps to her floor, not able to wait for the elevator to get back.

I finally reached in her room, panting.

But there she was laying in her bed, peacefully.

"She isn't up?" I whispered asked, my eyes never leaving her laying body.

"She was in a panic attack, so we had to give her an injection, she's sleeping!! Don't worry she'll wake up soon again!!" A nurse exclaimed and walked away the room.

Leaving me all alone with another broken hope.

...~...

We are sorry sir!! We're sure enough that we kept it safe but..." I heard some noises as I neared the doctor's office.

"But what??" A furious Jin's voice was heard.

I opened the door and saw the the staffs heads hung low in the air and Jin furious glares at them.

"What happen Jin-hyung??" I asked him, entering the hyped room.

He sigh when he heard me, and tried to calm himself.

"J-Jae Chan, they lost her stuffs!!" He replied.

" Wh-what?? That was the only thing, we could know about her and get her home safely!!" I half shouted, I started ruffling my hair in frustration, and walked front And forth, trying to calm myself down.

I knew that it was the game play of non other than Mr.Kim

"Didn't I told you to hand me her things at the very beginning??" I shouted and grabbed a random doctor's collar.

" Jae Chan!! Cool down, chill down!!" Jin-hyung pulled back my hand avoiding to punch the doctor and yanked me away.

"S-sir, we are sorry, we were just doing our jobs. We can't give the information and private things of our patients to anyone random and plus you didn't even defy your relationship with the patient!!" A nurse said

" She's right, Jae Chan, there'll be some other way to know her and get her home, don't worry!" He consoled patting my back.

" Jin-hyung bu-..."before I could complete, the door was barged open by a nurse.

"Th-the patient in room nu-number 272 is a-awake" she blared out panting heavily.

She's awake??

...☆...

A/N: Pls support me 🥺✨