Hi! I am a girl with lot of ambitions and hopes .But I don't like my this life 😕 Sometimes I just wanna die badly but then how can I forgot that my parents have lot expectations from me.

It's just that I can't freely do everything or if I can say it in simple way so it's like I can't take my own decisions ... There is always someone who orders me around. I don't understand why the hell they all just order me around can't they mind there own buissness.See all humans are not same but it's hard to deal with the self lovers it's just they think they can sat whatever and it is always the right decision or idea . I am now 18 years old but I have a maturity like an old person.

I don't even have friends who can help me to get out of my depressed life. I have stopped making friends or keeping relations because it's annoying when they live for others they have always better option than me so they just abandon me.Its my past now I don't even talk to anyone. They think I am rude but this human society don't understand that there words are making me rude day by day. My hopes my dreams are all vanished in the thin air because of this depression given by these human society.

I think I should just die and then I will be free to take my decisions.I also wanted to live a life of my own but I think these words is not for me.. I will try to write more about me and my life because it can heal me.My hobby was to become a sketcher but my mom and dad have no interest in this things they think I can't get a career if I do this so they forced me to study 😔 I am just very tired of this cause I am not even good at studies.

when I completed my college I asked my parents again that can I choose art as an career for me but they refused.At they said you should the graduation first so I am doing that for now it's just my first year is completed and until now I didn't understand any of those subjects I had .

I am very worried can I get my graduation completed like this what are your reviews about this ?

And can I get my dream job ?

Hope atleast you can understand me..........

Why I am still here writting I don't know but it is just making me feel good to share everything here .It is empty all the time I feel always alone 😔 so I just kept here writting whatever comes in my mind please don't mind my mistakes .I am just trying to get out of my depressed life in this manner......

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The title is interesting, Do you know what does it mean .It is beginning of me being ignored because of my ambitions as you have known me a little in a first chapter of this novel.I am a quite a ambitious person who was seeking attention at first 🙂 but then slowly I realized that the attention is not a thing of seeking it is gained by the person who deserves you...

From childhood I was a average student in study so my parents were not so happy with my grades 🙃 so they always keep scolding me until now that I should atleast get the percentage of 80.Actually it's not there fault fully but half fault is of this human society which always have so many expections from a child who doesn't even know what he/she have to face in this world .I don't care about what others say But it is necessary for me to not scolded by my parents because there words are like salt to my wound.There words provoke me.I hope this education system to be changed in the countries wherever it is strict I know the strictness keeps the child mannered and knowledgeable but not always because some times it leads to the depression and even suicidal thoughts created unknowingly in the child's brain.However it is necessary for the guardians to understand what is going on a child's mind.To understand them better give them a treatment like a friend not like the guardians if u behave rudely then why do expect the child to be friendly .Well I talk a lot here but not in reality ,why ? because with the person whom I share the thoughts to they are unreliable they always laugh at me.

I was only hoping to someone understand me like I understand them buy I Don't know why it is so hard for them.Anyways I as long as I have the readers who reads my thoughts and story I am satisfied with the world right now I am living in .

It is my second year of college and I am depressed heavily for the thoughts lingering in my mind .why I slack of the things ?I don't know but I am trying to understand the person inner me because it is very hard to understand yourself and be happy 🙂 So I want you to be live a cheerful life not like me you're great you have to understand this you have to give time to yourself too.I know it will be not easy at starting but focus on mind and heart and listen their voices what they wanted to say all this time then u will definitely find yourself in a new world 🌎

I hope you to be go according to your soul not body...At last these are words that are making you so emotional because the words have a power to create a human to be a villian or a hero.

Meet you soon in the next chapter 🥹