Chapter 1: Unrequited love

As of today, I have decided to put an end to my months of unrequited love. After class, I am going to confess my feelings to KevJungholegs trembled in a sense of nervousness.

The table trembled along the legs, followed by the hands neatly placed on it. It was no exaggeration to say that my entire body was shaking. I couldn’t stop shaking even with the annoyed look the person sitting next to me sent. It was because the class would soon be over.

“Well, good work everyone. Then I’ll end the class here. Have a nice vacation.”

Once the professor’s words were over, everyone got up and headed outside as if they had waited for this moment. The old lecture hall was too small to accommodate 60 students. Seeing Kevin’s dark brown head leaving far away, I also hurriedly packed my bag and book and stood up. He was already gone when I was swept away by the crowd and finally managed to get out into the hallway.

“Oh….”

I sighed deeply in regret and stomped on the innocent asphalt floor for no apparent reason. Then I turned on the cell phone memo application and deleted ‘Plan A: Give the letter after lecture’. Plans B, C, D, and E were listed below. I stopped by a cafe on campus and went around the campus aimlessly with a vanilla latte. After looking around the places where Kevin might be, the last place I headed was the Art Museum. As expected, I saw the person crouching at the end of the building.

“Mimi yah.”

“Meow.”

The cat cried in response to Kevin’s voice calling for him. I took a step behind him. As soon as I tried to call his name, touching the confession letter I had put in my pocket, I heard a voice calling him from afar.

“Junghoo yah!”

I turned my steps toward Kevin naturally and headed into the art school building. When I glanced behind me, Kevin and his friend were having a conversation naturally.

‘I also want to be close to Junghoo like that.’

I envied his friends who called him in friendly way.

“Vin hey!!.”

I put Kevin’s name in my mouth for no reason. He used to come into the art museum, look around the first floor, and check his appearance in the men’s bathroom. Of course, Kevin has long since left. I was so pathetic in the situation where I couldn’t confess and was at a loss. Sighing, I went to the place where Kevin had been sitting until now and called the cat.

“Mimi yah.”

“Meow.”

“Good boy, come here.”

Mimi , short for the Beauty of the Art Museum, was so pretty that the name beauty was not at waste. Is it possible to get Kevin’s attention because he’s so pretty? For a moment, I was jealous of Mimi, who was loved by Kevin, but I stopped because I felt shabby being jealous of animals, not humans. I tickled the cat’s chin that approached him without doubt and muttered.

“Please wish me success in my confession today. If you go out with me, I’ll buy you 5,000 freeze-dried fish .”

“Meow.”

I woke up after hearing an answer that I didn’t know whether he was rooting for the confession or talking nonsense. “Plan B: Meeting at a cafe inside campus and giving a letter,” “Plan C: Meeting in front of Business Department’s Building,” “Plan D: Giving a letter where Mimi is located,” and “Plan E: Meeting and giving a letter on the way” were deleted. All the things I’ve been thinking about all day last night were deleted, but it was fine.

Anyway, there will be an end-of-semester party with the business department at 8 o’clock today, so I could have waited and waited from 9 o’clock, and if the drinking party was over, I could have followed behind and confessed. Of course, there was no guarantee of success. To be honest, failure has already been expected. But I didn’t want to give up. Maybe today was the last chance to see Kevin.

“Good-bye, boys.”

Contrary to expectations that it would end at 10 o’clock, the business department’s end-of-semester party continued until the second and third rounds. He was not nicknamed the Department of Alcohol for no reason. Although it was almost dawn, Kevin was able to head home more than an hour after the drinking session was over because he was taking care of his juniors and colleagues who were drunk.

I threw the coffee cans into the trash can to prevent falling asleep. I pulled down my hat all the way and followed Kevin. Unlike usual, he walked into a residential alley, not an officetel complex. He seemed to have found a new shortcut. It didn’t matter because it seemed like a better place to confess to a dark residential area without street lights than a crowded place.

Halt.

Kevin stopped in front of a house with a green gate that did not match him. Today was the first time I followed him to his house. It was amazing that Kevin lived in such a place. It was because I knew how expensive the clothes he was wearing were. As I peeped at the back of taking out the key and turning it, I rubbed the sweat soaked in my palm against my pants.

‘Now? Is it now?’

When I was about to take a step toward Kevin, measuring the timing to confess, a man pushed him through the door and escaped. His head was tightly covered with blue tape worn in the scatter and the arms were tied back.

A man who was obviously not normal ran and tripped on his own foot, and Kevin, who was pushed by the man, got up and approached the man. And watching them all, I turned my head around to understand the current situation, but I had no choice but to put a lot of question marks in my head.

‘What’s going on?’

At a time when the judgment was not immediately made, Kevin, who grabbed the fallen man’s back hair, hit the man in the face.

Smack!

A loud echo penetrated my ear to say that it was a sound made by a fist and face. The hitting sound did not stop, and Kevin crushed the man’s face with his fist as if he were venting his anger and banged his face on the floor. The man’s face quickly became covered in blood and changed into an unrecognizable state.

I couldn’t even think of reporting it. I couldn’t take my eyes off Kevin, who was beating a man to death with an expressionless face, completely different from the person I knew. Kevin, who turned the man into a blood cake as if he didn’t care if he died right now, took out a handkerchief and wiped his bloody right hand.

“Yah. Don’t make a fuss, damn it.”

Kevin asked while looking at the man in blood.

“Is it because you want to die here?”

“Argh…..”

The man flinched and shook his head. Kevin smiled satisfactorily and tapped the man’s head. It was his first smile here.

“Go in on your own. I didn’t hit your leg on purpose.”

“Argh….”

“Don’t be so mean, get up quickly. Do you want to crawl after your ankle is cut off?”

Kevin’s shallow speech made me unable to close my mouth. Kevin, who is kind to everyone and trusted by the professors, was a psychopath who beat people to death behind their backs. It was a fact that anyone who had ever talked to him would never believe. I couldn’t believe it either after watching all his crazy acts. I curled up as much as I could because I thought I might die if I was caught by him. I was going to run away once Kevin took the man in.

Then, I made eye contact with the man who was being dragged by Kevin.

“Ugh! Ugh!”

I covered my mouth and curled up more at the sight of the man who was screaming as if asking for help. I closed my eyes and ears tightly and thought to myself.

‘Please… Please, just pass by….’

“What?”

But when I woke up, Kevin was standing in front of me. Tears came to my eyes when I saw him standing crookedly, turning on his cell phone flash.

“Blake?”

“Yes, yes! I was just on my way home… There was a strange sound so…”

“Your house isn’t here.”

Kevin’s words made my mouth shut. I thought I would be considered as just a passerby #1 from some group project to him, but I didn’t expect that he would remember my name and even my address. When I lowered my head, Kevin looked around, sighed deeply, and looked at me again. The way he looked at me was very different from before.

“Did you see it all?”

“Yes? Ah…. it’s… about that…”

I knew I had to say I didn’t know, but I couldn’t turn my eyes off the blood stains on Kevin’s cheeks and his clothes. He put his cell phone in his pocket and picked up a brick on the ground.

“Follow me, too.”

With the massive impact to my head and my sight darkening, I fainted on the spot.

Drip, drip.

Feeling the water droplets fall on my face, I lifted my heavy eyelids. The place I was held captive was pitch black, making it impossible to identify where I was. Both my hands were tied with ropes, and my mouth was also blocked, preventing me from making any clear sound.

“Uuup!”

Just moments ago, I had been kidnapped and was now tightly bound like a man without any hope of escape.

Thud, thud.

I crept back as I heard Kevin’s footsteps approaching. When I hit the wall and couldn’t move anymore, I groped around with my tied hands. But wait, was this really a wall? It felt a bit rough and uneven to be a wall…

“Why are you stuck there?”

A distinct, low and pleasant voice echoed through the basement. I remembered that I had once recorded Kevin’s presentation and used it as a side dish for about a month. At the time, I imagined that his voice would be as sweet as an angel’s. Of course, now I had changed my mind to thinking of him more like a devil or a grim reaper.

Click.

I squinted at the sudden brightness of the light and then slowly opened my eyes.

“Gasp!”

I jumped back in horror as I realized that what I had thought was a wall was actually the corpse of the man who had been dragged away by Kevin. I was horrified and fell backwards. The man’s ankles had been cut off. When Kevin saw my reaction, he laughed and said,

“Just a moment ago, you were sticking to him like he was giving off warmth, and now you’re recoiling in fear of seeing him in the light.”

In his right hand was a dry, hardened knife stained with blood. A quick glance at the basement revealed that blood was splattered and pooled all over, and judging from the fact that it hadn’t hardened, it was definitely the blood of the man I saw now.

“I read the letter that was in your pocket.”

At the words of Kevin, my face turned blue in an instant. It was clear that the letter he mentioned referred to the confession letter I had written to him.

“Dear Kevin, hello. I’m Blake, who took the Understanding Western Philosophy course with you.”

“Hmmmph!”

I shook my head. However, Kevin continued to read my letter and pulled a chair to sit in front of me.

“My life changed after meeting you.”

As Kevin recited my confession letter, I observed his face. I was worried that his expression would stiffen or contort in disgust, but his face remained calm as he read the letter.

Thanks to his lowered gaze while reading the letter, I could see each of his eyelashes clearly. Trailing down his thick, long eyelashes, I could see his luscious red lips as he read my letter. Every time he spoke, a dimple would appear on his right cheek. Now that I knew he was a killer, I couldn’t judge his face as handsome as before. Kevin’s face was a perfect example of how a psychopath could have a kind face and attitude more than anyone else.

“…I just wanted to let you know how I feel. Have a nice day. From Yujin.”

I tensed up, wondering if he would kill me with that knife knowing that someone like me had confessed my love to him.

“It’s the first time a man has ever confessed to me.”

After crumpling up the letter and throwing it in front of me, Kevin scratched his head with the end of the knife handle.

“It’s also the first time I’ve been caught by someone in this place.”

Though Kevin’s mouth twisted upwards as he spoke, his eyes looking down at me were cold and devoid of any warmth.

“Now that I’ve learned my lesson

to be more careful in the future, I’ll kill you the way you want to die. How do you want to die?”

Tears streamed down my face as I listened to Kevin’s words. I didn’t want to die. My life didn’t matter to me, and I didn’t care when I died, but I never wanted to end up being murdered like this. Kevin didn’t even flinch at the sight of me crying, and instead applauded.

“I taped your mouth shut and told you to answer me, so no wonder you’re crying.”

He reached up to touch the duct tape covering my mouth but stopped and just looked at me. My vision was blurred by tears, so I couldn’t tell what expression he had on his face, but just his gaze on me was terrifying. Facing a psychopathic killer made my body shake uncontrollably like an aspen tree. I held in my urge to urinate, fearing that if I upset him, he would cut off my penis just like the ankles of the dead man.

“Don’t be so loud and scream for help. When I asked him how he wanted to die, he screamed so loud that I couldn’t take it anymore and ended up killing him.”

He was probably referring to the dead man.

“You won’t be like that, will you?”

I nodded my head vigorously. Kevin removed the duct tape covering my mouth and wiped away my tears with his finger. His hand was very cold, and it smelled of blood and the white musk cologne he often used.

“Don’t cry, just tell me. How do you want me to kill you?”

“…Why are you doing this?”

I decided to stall for time because I wanted to live somehow. I don’t know but I hoped that the family of the dead man would report him missing and the police would rush in here. After speaking, I looked around cautiously, feeling unsure of myself. Judging by the lack of change in his expression, this didn’t seem to offend him.

“It’s fun. Sometimes, I can’t find fun in anything else.”

“When did you start doing this?”

“Is now the time for questions?”

My body tensed at Kevin’s words. He looked at me and laughed.

“Don’t be scared. I mean we’re just going to take turns asking each other questions. What do you like about me?”

“…You’re good-looking, have a good body, and have a nice voice.”

Originally, I had planned to mention his personality as a reason for liking him, but I decided to leave that out today.

“It’s just my outer shell, though. Do you get a hard-on whenever you see me?”

His eyes focused on the center of my body. I didn’t know how to answer his question, so I looked at him with a naive expression, and nodded my head slightly in response to his urging. Then Kevin burst out laughing, finding it amusing, before returning to his poker face.

“I’ll give you 10 seconds. Make it stand up now.”

“What?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

Kevin’s demand was completely unreasonable. But he was definitely the stronger one in this space, and I was like a helpless ant that could be killed with just a wave of his hand. I quickly undid my pants with my tied hands and put my hand on my flaccid penis.

“10, 9, 8, 7… 1.”

Ten seconds passed, but I couldn’t make it stand up in the end. It would have been amazing if I could get an erection in this situation. Looking at me, who was lying flat on the ground, Kevin’s face lost interest.

“How boring.”

Kevin muttered as he wiped the blood from the knife onto his pants. At this rate, I was going to be stabbed and die like that man, so I gathered my courage and shouted.

“That!”

“Yeah?”

“If you touch me yourself… then I think I can get an erection.”

Kevin’s eyes widened as he pointed to himself with his free hand that wasn’t holding the knife and confirmed, ‘Me?’ The look of bewilderment on his face was palpable. Yes… even I didn’t think this was a good idea. It wasn’t because Kevin was forcing me; it was me who was acting like a fool.

“Are you asking me to give you a handjob?”

“No, no… it’s… it’s just that if you do it, I think I can get an erect… ugh!”

Kevin, who was sitting on a chair, suddenly approached me and pressed his foot onto my penis. Tears formed in my eyes due to the pain of my flesh being touched.

“Did you lose your fear? Should I cut off your penis and burn it in front of you right now…”

Kevin stopped talking and lifted his foot. He looked at me, who was staggering to hide my erect penis from his view. Kevin burst out laughing at the sight of my penis.

“You’re really a perverted bastard, aren’t you? You got an erection from me stepping on it? You must have jerked off thinking of me a hundred times?”

I just lowered my head and didn’t answer Kevin’s question. A hundred times? For three months, I only thought of Kevin when masturbating. I probably thought of him almost 200 times while masturbating. Maybe Kevin was my sperm killer.

“How could my dick get hard because of you bastard?”

Saying that, Kevin unzipped his zipper and took out his penis. Kevin’s appearance, as he bit his T-shirt and rubbed his penis up and down, was incredibly erotic. His muscles tightly toned from exercise, his abs clearly defined, and his chest moving along with his breathing…

Moreover, Kevin had a completely different method of masturbation from what I had imagined in my mind. I had thought he would be skilled at it due to his handsome face and assumed sexual experience, but it was not the case at all. Rather, the way he touched his penis was awkward. The sound of dry friction and my fingertips hitting my stomach echoed in the basement. He was semi-erect, but couldn’t climax.

“Ha.”

Kevin, who had been looking down at his penis with indifference, slumped into the chair. Then, with a deflated face, he wiped his hand, which had been holding his penis, with a tissue.

“I’m crazy. I’m not a piece of shit like you. You’re the crazy one in that sense. You’re a fool for really getting a hard-on.”

“Shall I help you with that?”

I agreed to some extent with his statement that I was crazy.

“What?”

Kevin asked.

“I’ll help you get hard.”

Unless I was crazy or about to die, I couldn’t possibly have the desire to touch his penis in this situation. Kevin snickered at my words.

“How will you do it? With your tree-trunk-like body? You’re uglier than me, you have a dick, and smell like a bastard.”

Moreover, Kevin had a completely different method of masturbation from what I had imagined in my mind. I had thought he would be skilled at it due to his handsome face and assumed sexual experience, but it was not the case at all. Rather, the way he touched his penis was awkward. The sound of dry friction and my fingertips hitting my stomach echoed in the basement. He was semi-erect, but couldn’t climax.

“Ha.”

Kevin, who had been looking down at his penis with indifference, slumped into the chair. Then, with a deflated face, he wiped his hand, which had been holding his penis, with a tissue.

“I’m crazy. I’m not a piece of shit like you. You’re the crazy one in that sense. You’re a fool for really getting a hard-on.”

“Shall I help you with that?”

I agreed to some extent with his statement that I was crazy.

“What?”

Kevin asked.

“I’ll help you get hard.”

Unless I was crazy or about to die, I couldn’t possibly have the desire to touch his penis in this situation. Kevin snickered at my words.

“How will you do it? With your tree-trunk-like body? You’re uglier than me, you have a dick, and smell like a bastard.”

“Let me try first… and if it works.”

“If it works.”

Kevin cut off my words and answered.

“I’ll let you live today.”

While holding his erect penis, he gestured downwards. As I crawled between his legs, Kevin grabbed the back of my head, or more precisely the part he had hit with a brick. Tears welled up in my eyes from the sharp pain.

“If you mess around too much, you’ll regret it.”

“Okay.”

I looked closely at Kevin’s penis, which was now very close to my face. Even though it wasn’t fully erect, I worried about how much bigger it would get when it was fully erect. I licked my lips and moistened them before placing them on the tip of his penis.

Lick.

I licked from the base of his glans to the urethra and looked up at him. Kevin watched my every move, making sure not to miss a single thing, and his gaze made me even more excited. I used my tongue to roll the tip of the urethra slightly apart, then opened my mouth wide and sucked his glans deeply. A sweet fragrance filled the air as I licked and nibbled on the protruding part at the junction of his glans and shaft, causing his thigh to twitch.

“Have you done this before? Or do guys who like guys all suck so well?”

As I listened to Kevin’s words, I sucked on his penis even harder. I had thought that his penis would soon be fully erect since he had complimented me on my skills, but no matter how hard I sucked, it didn’t seem to be getting any bigger. Kevin yawned and stretched as if he was getting bored.

“How much longer are you going to do this?”

I was sure I was going to die if this continued. I eventually made a risky decision and looked at him.

“Can you… untie me please?”

I held out my bound wrists to Kevin.

“Why should I? What do you think you can do?”

“If you untie me, I think I can do a better job.”

Kevin succumbed to Blake’s words and spared him. Due to the blood that flowed from Blake’s head injury, his face was covered in blood, and as he vigorously sucked Kevin’s cock with his own penis pathetically erect, Kevin wondered if Blake’s love for him was not a lie.

Kevin has lived a boring life since birth. The first time he felt a sense of amusement was when he killed someone with his own hands. Kevin felt lucky to be alive after experiencing the pleasure of killing. And the only thing that stimulated his interest in life was murder.

But Blake aroused his interest not in the sense of killing but in a different way. Kevin was willing to surrender because he knew he could easily subdue Blake and strangle him even if he ran towards him with the rope untied.

“Fine.”

After a few minutes of deliberation, Kevin used a knife to cut the rope. The ropes were tied so tightly that red marks appeared on his wrists. Turning his wrists this way and that, Blake returned to his original purpose. He grabbed Kevin’s pelvis and pulled him down slightly, then he put his right hand in his mouth and drenched his fingers with his saliva as much as possible. And the moment he brought his wet fingers towards Kevin’s anus, Kevin grabbed him by the hair and yanked him up. Blake winced in pain, possibly because of his injured area.

“Wait.”

Deep wrinkles formed on Kevin’s forehead.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I have to do it this way for your dick to stand.”

“Haa…”

Kevin nodded his head for now. If this didn’t work, he could just kill Blake right away. Since he had done something dirty, he could kill him even more painfully than usual. To be honest, he couldn’t feel a strong disgust even though his penis had just been in his mouth and now a saliva-covered finger was entering his hole. It was a mindset that could only come from his sexual ignorance. Otherwise, if it weren’t for that, Blake would have already been writhing on the ground with blood flowing from his neck the moment he put his finger behind Kevin.

Squelch.

One of the fingers that were circling around Kevin’s hole entered. Kevin’s face wrinkled with the clear feeling of a foreign thing entering. It was even more shitty than he had thought. As if that weren’t bad enough, Blake’s long fingers probed his inner walls, seemingly searching for a certain spot.

***

‘It must be somewhere here…’

Is it here? Is it here? As I thought to myself, I gently touched around here and there, wondering if this was the right spot, when my fingers brushed against a spot that felt distinctly different from the others.

“Hmm…”

I felt that Kevin’s penis in my mouth had grown larger than before. I looked up for a moment and saw Kevin’s face, which had relaxed, and his eyes closed, but when Kevin felt my gaze, he looked down.

“Lower your eyes.”

I quietly lowered my eyes and focused on my fingers again. Now that I had found his prostate, it was time to use it to make him feel pleasure. I gently and softly roamed around the prostate, and slid my middle finger in.

Feeling uncomfortable with the two fingers inside him, Kevin squirmed and tapped my shoulder. When I didn’t stop, Kevin was about to tell me to stop.

“Ah? Eugh?”

If it wasn’t for the moan that suddenly escaped his mouth.

As I felt his prostate swelling to some extent, I pressed it hard with my two fingers, the penis in my mouth growing larger, and at the same time, I heard Kevin’s moan from above. I glanced up and saw that both of his cheeks were slightly flushed.

“Swallow more.”

As he said that, Kevin pulled me by the back of my head, and his penis, which had grown to an almost unbearable size, filled my mouth. The tip of his penis poking into my throat made me gag a few times, but I couldn’t spit out his penis because he was holding the back of my head. When I couldn’t move beyond it because it kept choking me, Kevin roughly wiped the tears from my eyes and stood up.

“Open your mouth.”

Then he grabbed my hair and pushed all the way in. I opened my throat as much as possible, tightened my lips, and gently licked his shaft with my tongue. All the while reminding myself that I had to make him ejaculate to survive.

“Fuck, you must be a pro. You take it so fucking well.”

Kevin swore as he pressed his penis against the back of my throat, and he tightly squeezed my head while I pressed on his penis. In the meantime, the number of fingers in Kevin’s hole had increased to three.

“Ugh, haa…”

Every time I pressed on his prostate; a moan came out of Kevin’s mouth. Before long, he

Was cumming in my mouth, and I swallowed it all down with a gulp. After wiping the drool on the corner of my lips with the back of my hand, I looked up at him.

“H-How was it?”

“Not bad.”

Kevin, whose face was flushed after ejaculation, smiled crookedly. With a more relaxed and languid expression, he pulled his pants back up and said.

“I’ll let you live.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much!”

Tears blinded me at the thought of finally leaving this crazy person’s house. As soon as I get out, I will apply for a leave of absence and leave Seoul immediately. I promised myself that from now on, I wouldn’t even look at a house with a green gate.

“In return.”

Kevin held the knife upside down and swung it by the handle towards me. I fell down on the spot when he struck me on the same spot where I was hit by the brick earlier. Just before passing out, I could barely hear what Kevin was saying.

“I won’t let you go.”