He died so peacefully in my arms, He looked oh so happy to be dying.

I wish to see his smile everyday, but I can't.

Because he left...

---------

chifuyu matsuno, I'm very strong for some reason..hehe, I work out and pick fights with many people for reasons..

However, despite having strength, he never wanted to take control of his school, seeing students who look down on other students as losers which is why he hated prideful, boastful upperclassmen the most.

I met him when I was 12..Keisuke Baji.

Chifuyu's position as Vice-Captain of Tokyo Manji Gang's First Division is a respectable honor, yet it's a position that he likely settled into because of his adoration for Baji, the First Division's captain.

But he's just.. stupid.

he likes to take all the burden, because he doesn't want his friends to suffer, he was ready to sacrifice himself for his friend.

And he did.

that is who keisuke baji is.

--------

Keisuke Baji

Baji has a wild personality. He loves the thrill of adrenaline and Mikey himself says that he would punch someone out on the street for no apparent reason, only because he feels like it.

Being the captain of Toman's first division, Baji has authority and command over his entire platoon, and directly over Chifuyu Matsuno, his vice-captain. 

_______________

"Fuyu I love you so much...bye bye.."

"no no.. baji-san! baji-san! ARGGGGG! WAHHH! HAH!"

I breath heavily, as I feel my my world collapse, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

HE ******* LEFT ME! HE LEFT! WITHOUT A GOOD REASON! THIS FUCKER!

"argh haaaa!"

I kept on crying, tears were rolling down my cheeks continuously, they won't stop..

He died in amrs and I didn't do anything at all...

I don't know how long I cried, but I cried till my thoart hurt, my eyes felt swollen.

it hurt so much...

"baji-san..why?.."

My heart and head hurt were hurting really bad.

I finally stood up but I stumbled and fell down again, as I felt stinging pain in my legs.

I massaged them and soon the pain was gone..

I picked baji-san and took him..

________

Proper funeral ceremony was held for baji-san but somehow..

I couldn't cry anymore...

I felt so numb.

It's eating me alive..

The darkness is pulling me towards it..

Help me baji-san..

_______

I wake up covered in sweat, as I felt tears in my eyes again...

"arghhh haaaa"

"why why why.."

"why did hic.. baji-san leave me..?"

"but hic.. he.. he said hic.. he loved me..haaaa!"

I grip my hair, I start to scratch myself, all over my hands and my body, I kept pulling my hair..

I had scratches all over my body..I was all bloody.

Sweaty.

Dirty.

Disgusting.

Ugly.

Ridiculous.

Unwanted.

Unloved.

Stupid.

dumd.

an eyesore.

Pathetic.

Useless.

Unlikeable.

So ugly.

So much more disgusting.

I'm glad he died...ain't I?

I never care for anyone, did I?

Do I even have a..Heart for anyone?

Am I that naive?

Do I not deserve to be loved?

why did you take him away!?

HUH!?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!? I LOOK UGLY! HE DOESN'T LOVE ME!

IF!.

If!..

If..

i..

if only what he said was true...