June 9, 2022

It was the time around when my whole-big-*** maternal family was finally going to be together.

Visiting my aunts and cousins on vacation feels like a weekend after tiring months of studying. This time it was more grand since our eldest (and dearest to me) cousin is getting married.

And our whole group is visiting them one month prior to the event.

But I am beginning to feel like we are going to reach the venue by next week. The way my mother is driving and her speed limit was getting me off the tracks.

"Can you just increase the speed a little more, or are we going to break records of bull tracks's speed". I was literally tired due to late night study and next thing in the morning was her driving.

"Yeah of course, Siya. If you are really this impatient why don't you use public transport sweetie". Answering in hosting glare.

("yeah I wish I could but since it's a national holiday, I am struck here")

"I am just asking you to go with a little more speed. Dad, can't you ask her". Even though my dad knew he never complained. After all, that old man has been hopelessly in love with my mom for the last 25 years.

("what would you expect")

"My dear Cee( nickname my dad gave me) you should start practising to hold patience, don't you think so?"

"But dad the speed lim--

*starts 70s music at high volume*

"Yeah, Yeah I get it".

And after some three years we finally got there.

But my mom was kind of right. I was (not little) but too impatient. It was my favourite cousin's wedding after all. And moreover since she is a girl, she was going to leave us. Just by imagining that scenario I had cried multiple times and swore not to do anymore.

But maybe my swollen eyes were telling a different story. I just sped run towards the main door when she came out to greet us all. And there she was, our bride, our group's leader, Urmi Di.

"Hey, hey let's see someone has been crying profusely, huh". I tightly hugged her when my jerk brother pulled me off her.

"What can you expect from such a cry baby" .Looking at me with a disgusted face, he hugged her as well when I was literally planning on to murder him right away.

"What is wrong with your face", I snapped.

*more weird looks, he shrugged it off and got inside.*

"Shut Up, Samar. At Least someone loves me too much to bawl their eyes out, even if it's my crybaby".

"I love you , but I am just not prepared to let you go just like that, you know". I said, hugging her tightly again.

"I know but what you don't know is how much I am dying inside and being excited at the same time".

"How is it possible, are you even ok?", asking with a confused stare.

"I may answer this as the girl standing here is in love, deep love. And I believe you feel the same emotion when your time comes". She said with a cheerful smile. I have never seen her so happy. But, I was really curious about some things.

To be honest, I really don't know about love. It would be wrong if I said that I am oblivious of this term. I had my relationship (two) but I never felt something that my cousin did or the way she told me.

Those relationships more often look like a business agreement or a cage to me where I am bound to one particular person for my whole life. I did understand the concept of loving someone 'till we die'.

But, it has to be as strong as tree and as deeper as ocean, to create the meaningful balance.

I believe the people who are cheating or betraying their partners must not feel that deep-thick love to hold onto their better halfs.

And that's the reason I literally stopped dating and decided to wait to see if I could love this much deeper, bolder and thicker. I decided that when the day finally comes, I will surely give my promise or oath of loyalty, trust and never ending love.

But who knew that within a time her whole life was going to be upside down.

After unpacking our luggage I went straight to Di's room to take a look at her engagement dress. And she looked absolutely adorable.

Urmi Di always have a liking towards bright colours like red, pink, yellow or you may say (warm colours) and she hated light colours. In my opinion, the dark colour really suited her. Her black eyes literally glow and her small face with chubby cheeks compliments it.

By evening other cousins also arrived. First one was the kids of the second eldest aunt( Gauri Masi ), Shubh bhai and Naina Di, next were Ananya and Aveeka, my fourth aunt's( Geeta Masi ) kids. The eldest of them was Urmi Di's Mom( Gargi Masi ). Urmi di has 2 other siblings, Ashika Di and Mann Bhai. My mother was third eldest.

(*Yeah as I said big-*** maternal family, you can relate to it right ?*)

After having all of chit chats it was finally the time to discuss important discussion, "What are we gonna wear"

Since the groom's family was of different culture, my aunt had to perform some of their rituals. One of them included the very famous "Roka Ceremony" in which we all were invited.

After a brief discussion, everyone wants to know about the guests going to be present there. I was mostly interested on the groom's part. And that's when Urmi Di told me about him. Her brother-in-law. Raghav Desai, an aspiring doctor.

This was the time when she got to know his name and the fate had already been tangling the lives of two persons who were far different in everything.

July 1, 2022

*Dr Raghav Desai, soon to be bil of Urmi Joshi*

The room was silent apart from the heart beat and a steady plip plip sound of the tap water you often hear in hospitals that indicates you're alive.

He slowly opened his eyes and wasn't sure exactly what it was that had woken him up. Laying in the bed quietly, holding a dolphin styled bracelet, just breathing in the air around him. That's how he always survives the day because it's too hard to live in the house, or with the person, which he is supposed to call his home.

"But what's wrong with him, why does he always react like this?", girl in the same class asked.

"As usual for the same reason, she again broke up with him along with the ultimatum this time and even took off the bracelet he gifted her", replied another.

Shock and horrified, she asks, "Ultimatum ? What's this?"

"If by the end of the year he didn't stand up to his dad for her and the future, it's over".

"What, are you serious? Poor Raghav, but this means we have our chance isn't it", the girls giggled.

"Shshsh, he is here", another classmate warned them.

He listened to all of the chatter and gossip, but didn't react. There was no hiding that Raghav Desai is dating Noorie Rehmani (another medical student) for about 4 years. The whole class knew it, while some of them were waiting for the union, some others were waiting to get that one chance to claim him.

It was obvious that Raghav was the heartthrob of his class. Not only good in his looks but in studies as well. Teachers and peers have their own expectations with him. His female classmates admired her, and the males were intrigued too. His cold personality and rational thinking is what made him distinct here.

It's enough to get popular among your classmates, isn't it ?

But what they don't know is the real Raghav, who hides behind his cold personality, and how in actually is a timid person, always close to tears.

The desai family has got their hands in the festivities now, as a new member is going to join soon. And the way this family function is entirely different. Desai family basically has strong patriarchal roots. Head of the family decision is the final and binding.

And that's what has been troubling not only Raghav but his love life as well. He knew very well that in no way Mr Desai was going to accept a muslim daughter-in-law and he never planned on eloping, not because he don't want to do it but, he can't do it.

Even though Raghav has very high moral values he still lacked one major thing: Courage, to stand by promises.

Since his childhood Raghav has been troubling to evade anxiety and timidity around his father but fails. He did get all the love and spoils from his dotting elder brother (Vasu Desai) and mom (Mrs Sumitra Desai), he remained distant with Mr Desai. And today he is determined to talk his heart out, no matter what.

*Will he be able to do it ? Who knows?*

"Maa, have you seen dad anywhere ? I need to discuss something important" Raghav shouted towards the roof.

"He went with Vasu to check on the arrangement and schedules, and listen save your discussion for later and help me with other things right now, get fresh and come here quickly"

Raghav was tensed now, he definitely determined himself to get through this. But, maybe before all these festivities it's impossible. He decided to leave a message for Noorie to wait a little more. He took out his phone and started typing.

*typing.....*

"Listen Noorie, due to my brother's wedding function I may not be able to discuss this topic with father. But, I promise you as soon as all of this gets over, I will talk to him. Till then please spare me some time and wait a little bit more"

And at first he hesitated to press the send button but he did it anyway and waited for the reply. His heartbeat was doing somersault when he saw her online. He knew there was not going to be a very decent reply but he didn't expect the one he got.

*Noorie typing......*

"Dear Raghav, you have been making excuses all this time and maybe my ultimatum means nothing to you. But since I have love you so much, I want to believe you. That's why I have asked my father to wait another six months for my Nikah with Rezaan. So, if you get failed this time, you are indeed going to lose me and it's final"

Raghav literally fell to his knees, his eyes were teary again, his nose was as red as cherry and he couldn't catch a breath. Noorie has been threatening him all the time in their relationship with ultimatums but this time he knew, "She is dead serious".

*Yeah, if someone is bolding their words on WhatsApp, they are goddam serious*

He tried to calm himself and went to the bathroom to clean up the mess. He has to not only smile for his brother's wedding but have to act like a man (the kind of things he learnt from his dad). His dad has always believed in male superiority, that man can never be shy, can never cry no matter what, can never be timid and absolutely cannot be soft and submissive to his wife.

*Seriously, no doubt why Mr Desai is complete shit*

Moving forward, after several minimal tasks, evening was there. Even the Desai house was filled with laughter, dance and drink except for one room. A room for which nobody cares (for right now), a door which is shut to all pleasures, curtains full of secrets and a pillow full of tears and disappointment. Right now, Raghav needs fresh air and he decides to go out for a walk by the riverside.

Riverside walk is the only thing that can calm him down. It has been the secret too (other than Vasu) nobody else knows it. For Mr Desai, Raghav went for a workout session.

(a very manly thing to do I suppose).

As he was strolling around the path thinking over his situation and Noorie's ultimatum, he noticed the reflection of the moon on the beautiful river side. His eyes were gleaming like that of a child who gets the favourite toy (after he created a scene due to wailing).

He wonders if humans really tried to look around themselves, how in the world they are missing out on this beauty, as he watched every other person diving deep in their cellphones.

While he was immersed in the reflection gazing right towards the river, he noticed something.

Reflection has something to add up. He turned his head up to look at the other side and saw a girl standing there. A girl, in a floral white dress, half hairs tucked in white bow clip with black slipper styled sandals, gazing right into the moon's reflection. Raghav, really wanting to get a glimpse of her face, bends towards the river when he suddenly slips and falls right into it. He composed himself and started to look for that girl.

He saw her laughing playfully and asking in hand signs if he's okay (he thinks she is mute and deaf).

*For a moment, Raghav gets mesmerized by the softness*

In turn he replied with a victory sign and due to the moon's light he was able to see her little face and the bracelet (the same dolphin design).

She greeted her goodbye and left the place. Raghav who went to the pathway to compose himself, looking at the bracelet brought back all the trauma. With a heavy heart, he went back.

At Desai Mansion, his father demanded him to get his dress ready for tomorrow and be mindful of their prestige.

"Dress for what Dad, are we going somewhere tomorrow" he asked as in confused state.

Mr Desai was losing it all, "How many times do I have to remind you idiot blockhead to be aware of your surroundings, can't you do this enough"

"Enough Dad, he might be busy with exams and colle-" Vasu tried to intervene.

Mr Desai interrupting in mid, "To hell my *** with this busy personality, Oh I apologise Mr Raghav Desai but your brother is going to be engaged tomorrow".

With a stern look he asks, "Do you mind getting your brain out of the clouds, landing back to earth and being responsible for once and not demeaning my name ?".

Raghav was close to tears once again and the insult was pinching him. Keeping all things aside for sake of his brother, he answered, "Yes Sir"

Can Raghav ever face him, will he be ever able to tell him about Noorie, we don't know. But what we know is that Raghav is going through worse time and maybe there is more to come.