Nicko's life is a total disaster at the beginning 'til he met Patricia his beloved fiancé. But still the questions started to arise, and what-ifs began to mingle.

Is there a place where he could feel at ease with no worries?

How is it possible?

What if he's not born in this world?

Would he be able to feel and experience all that pain and suffering?

Can Patricia change Nicko's perception towards life. Will she do good or make things worse?

Early in the morning, the sunlight peeked through the window, casting a gentle glow on Nicko's weary face as he sat on his bed, lost in a fog of thoughts and emotions. The weight of his burdens had become almost unbearable, pressing down on his soul and threatening to suffocate him. It felt as if his mind had been dragged to the depths of an endless ocean, consumed by the waves of his troubles. Just as Nicko's mind was on the edge of being drowned by the storm within, the door swung open, breaking his trance. The nurse's voice cut through the silence, jolting him back to reality. "Good morning, Mr. Nicko. You have a visitor today named Patricia Guevarra. Would you like to take her inside, sir?" the nurse inquired with a touch of concern in her voice. Nicko's response was brief and devoid of any enthusiasm: "You may." The nurse relayed Nicko's response to Patricia, ensuring that she understood the gravity of the situation. "As you've known, ma'am, Sir Nicko has been experiencing depression lately that might worsen his illness. As long as we cannot find any suitable heart donor, we can expect that he may not last much longer," the nurse explained, her voice tinged with a mix of sympathy and helplessness. Patricia, wearied by the countless hours spent tirelessly searching for a potential donor, sighed heavily. "I know, I know, I have been tirelessly searching for donors lately, but it seems as if I couldn't find a suitable one," she responded wearily, her voice carrying the weight of her exhaustion and disappointment.

As Patricia entered the room, her eyes met Nicko's, and she could see the stress that his illness had taken on him. His face, once filled with vitality and joy, now carried the marks of suffering and uncertainty. The room seemed to grow heavier as the weight of their circumstances bore down on both Nicko and Patricia. The silence between them was getting heavy with unspoken fears and doubts. Patricia knew that the search for a suitable heart donor had been arduous and filled with countless dead ends. Yet she refused to give up. The thought of losing Nicko, her beloved fiancé, was too painful to bear.

She was determined to keep searching, even if it meant facing one disappointment after another. She approached him with a tenderness that only true love could bring, taking his cold, thin hands in hers. Every touch and every word was laced with her unwavering commitment and love for him. Though her heart ached with the weight of her own doubts and frustrations, Patricia carefully chose her words, delivering them in a soft, soothing tone. She wanted to offer comfort and alleviate the burden that weighed on Nicko's shoulders. Yet, there were moments when she questioned the sincerity of her own reassurances. How could she offer hope when she hadn't found a suitable donor? These white lies, meant to protect Nicko from further despair, weighed heavily on her conscience. Patricia understood that even if a suitable donor was miraculously found, there was no guarantee of a successful transplant. The uncertainty grows in her heart, causing her to question whether it was fair to hold out hope when the odds seemed stacked against them. Nonetheless, she continued to be a pillar of strength for Nicko, putting on a brave face despite the doubts that plagued her. In this moment of vulnerability, Nicko's thoughts turned to despair, contemplating the idea that death may be an escape from the constant suffering that he and his loved ones endured. The overwhelming sense of suffocation and the belief that his prayers had gone unanswered led him to question the value of life itself. The fear of losing his only remaining family member intensified his emotional struggles, leaving him teetering on the precipice of hopelessness.

It was evident to anyone who observed Nicko that he was in a deeply vulnerable state, battling depression and a profound sense of hopelessness. In this crucial moment, he needed professional support and intervention to address his mental health issues and provide him with healthier coping mechanisms. Alongside professional help, the unwavering love and understanding of his loved one, especially Patricia, were paramount. Their empathy, open communication, and unwavering support would provide him with the strength and hope he needed. The weight of the situation weighed heavily on Patricia's shoulders as she entered the room, her eyes scanning the familiar surroundings. The room felt stifling, as if it held the weight of their hopes and fears. Nicko sat with his back turned towards her, facing the closed window, lost in a maze of his own thoughts. His silence spoke volumes, a reflection of the immense burden he carried within.

Nicko's voice had grown scarce in recent days, enabling him to speak less, as he believed that sharing his pain would only burden his loved ones further. The weight of his condition, both physical and emotional, had taken its toll on him. He had accepted the harsh reality that there seemed to be no solution, no escape from the inevitable. Each word of encouragement, each expression of love and hope, seemed to bounce off Nicko's weary soul, dissipating into the air like smoke. His heart had become a fortress, shielding him from any glimmer of hope. The numbness that engulfed him made it difficult to see beyond the darkness that clouded his mind. The thought of leaving his loved ones behind was a bitter pill to swallow, but the thought of escaping the pain, the tears, and the burden he believed he caused them was tempting. In his darkest moments, Nicko contemplated the release that death could bring. He couldn't help but question the fairness of life, wondering why some people seemed to bear so much suffering while others lived seemingly unscathed. The weight of his own struggles, coupled with the loss of his father at a young age and now the impending loss of his own life, created a perfect storm of despair within him. But amidst the darkness, there was a flicker of resilience within Patricia, a determination to keep fighting, to dig every corner of the world for a possible donor. She knew the exhaustion and frustration that accompanied the search, but the thought of losing Nicko was unbearable. She refused to succumb to despair, clinging onto the slimmest thread of hope.

Patricia's love for Nicko was unwavering, and she understood the depth of his pain. She longed to break through the walls he had made around himself, to remind him of all the reasons why he was worth fighting for. She knew that finding a suitable donor was not a guarantee of a successful transplant, but the glimmer of hope it provided was enough to keep her going.

The room seemed to hold its breath, as if it too sensed the gravity of their situation. Every moment and every breath felt precious and fragile. Patricia approached Nicko slowly, her footsteps barely heard on the floor. She reached out and gently placed her hand on his shoulder, a silent gesture of support and love. In that moment, Nicko could feel the weight of Patricia's love and her unwavering commitment to him. It was a reminder that he was not alone in this battle and that there were people who cared deeply for him. He turned to look at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of pain, gratitude, and a beam of hope that he had long forgotten. Their eyes met, and for a brief moment, time stood still. Patricia's gaze was filled with empathy and understanding, as if she could see past the walls that Nicko had built around himself. She knew that their journey was far from over and that there were still obstacles to face and battles to fight. But in that moment, Nicko had already given up the hope deep inside that couldn't be expressed or explained.

The room was filled with a bittersweet mix of emotions, both heavy and hopeful. The road ahead was uncertain. With every passing day, Patricia would continue the search for a suitable donor, never losing sight of hope. And in the face of adversity, she would cling to the hope that miracles do happen and that a brighter future awaited them. As time goes by, Nicko's self-loathing intensifies, making his mind a battleground of self-doubt and despair. He despised his own weakness, criticizing himself for being a burden to those who cared about him. In the depths of his sorrow, he yearned for the end that only death could bring. Wishing that the next day he wouldn't be able to wake up. The weight of guilt and remorse hung heavy, casting a shadow over his every thought.

As Patricia entered the room, the air itself seemed to carry the weight of Nicko's collective anguish. The atmosphere was thick with unspoken emotions that were suffocating and oppressive. Patricia's presence offered a glimmer of solace amidst the darkness, and she settled herself beside Nicko's bed, her hand reaching out to grasp his own. The touch of her palm against his sent a shiver down his spine, a stark reminder of the fragility of his own existence. Nicko had been confined to this sterile room for what felt like an eternity, the passing days blending into one another. Time seemed to stretch, as if mocking his desperate yearning for an end. Six months had transformed into a never-ending sentence of convection, an exaggeration that reflected the seemingly endless wait for a suitable heart donor. Patricia's voice brought a mixture of concern and gentle persuasion and attempted to soothe the turmoil brewing within Nicko's weary soul. Her words, though well-intentioned, echoed hollowly in the room, making her doubt their truthfulness. The promise of a cure for his illness felt like a distant dream, a fragile hope that stands on the edge of uncertainty. The weight of her own guilt pressed upon Patricia's conscience, threatening to suffocate her with each whispered assurance. She wondered if she was fooling not only Nicko but herself as well by painting a picture of false reassurance in the absence of a confirmed donor. The white lies she uttered, meant to put Nicko at ease in his burden, instead burdened her with a heavy sense of guilt. In the depths of their shared struggle, Patricia questioned the reliability of her own words. Was it right to offer false hope, even if it temporarily eased Nicko's pain? The words she spoke felt like a doubtful movement between truth and deception, a tightrope walk that left her staggering on the cliff of her own conscience.

The room seemed to hold its breath, as if awaiting a resolution to this impossible dilemma. The heaviness of their unspoken fears mingled with the strong scent of the hospital room, creating an oppressive atmosphere that threatened to swallow them whole. Yet, even in the face of their doubts, Patricia's unwavering love for Nicko pushed her to continue searching and to hold onto the slightest thread of hope. As she sat beside him, Patricia's presence offered a sliver of comfort amidst the chaos of Nicko's emotions. She refused to surrender to despair, her determination shining through her words and actions. Though planted by uncertainty and guilt, she remained steadfast in her commitment to find a donor and to fight for Nicko's life.

The weight of uncertainty hung in the air, casting a shadow over Nicko's fragile existence. The possibility of a successful operation, even if a heart donor could be found, remained shrouded in doubt. Nonetheless, this knowledge no longer affected Nicko's perception of life, for he had already given up himself to a state of hopelessness, feeling as if he were already dead. Nicko's gaze locked onto Patricia's eyes, searching for solace in the depths of her soul. In her weary demeanor, he could discern the hidden stress and fatigue that linger in Patricia's every waking moment. Yet, all he could offer in that fleeting instant was a blink, a silent acknowledgment of the immense weight they both carried. "Pat, can you help me?" Nicko's voice, weak and faltering, escaped his pale lips, punctuated by stutters that betrayed the toll his illness had taken on his body. Patricia, her heart aching with every uttered word, responded with a sweetness laced with pain, "As you wish, my dear." She moved closer, her hands gently guiding him towards his wheelchair, their touch a tender reminder of their shared vulnerability. With careful touch, Patricia positioned Nicko in his usual spot by the window, granting him a view of the outside world. It was in this corner of their small universe that Nicko found comfort—a place away from the suffocating confines of the hospital room. The table near the window became his sanctuary, a portal to the world beyond his reach. Through the glass pane, Nicko's gaze wandered, tracing the contours of the outside world. The bustling streets, filled with passersby going about their daily lives, served as a stark contrast to his own confined reality. The vibrant colors and sounds of life danced before his eyes.

As Nicko watched almost every day the pattern and flow of life outside, a flicker of longing flowed in his eyes but was snapped in an instance. The world beyond those walls seemed both close and impossibly distant, a contradiction that spoke to the fragility of his existence and death. Yet, even as his body betrayed him, his spirit remained resilient, clinging to the slimmest thread of hope. Patricia stood beside him, her heart heavy with the weight of their collective struggle. As Nicko sat in his wheelchair, positioned by the window, he felt the chill of the autumn air seep into his bones. The coldness that enveloped him served as a bundle of reminders of the misery that had entangled his life in recent years. His mind traveled back to a time when his mother, weakened by illness, lay in bed, her body consumed by stage four cancer. The sight of her weak form, haggard and pale, bothered him. Her once-vibrant spirit had been dimmed by the relentless attack of the disease.

In the face of his mother's suffering, Nicko serves as a pillar of strength and courage. He showed a façade of toughness, concealing the fear and despair that prevailed in his own heart. He wanted to show his mother that there was still hope and that they could find it worth relying on optimism despite the storm that surrounds them. Their family's financial situation only added to the weight of their burden. The mounting medical bills and the cost of hospitalization had put their company into bankruptcy. Desperate to provide the best care for his mother, Nicko watched as their positions, luxuries, and cherished properties were sold off one by one to settle their debts. The hospital bills continued to accumulate, a constant reminder of their situation. The weight of their financial obligations threatened to crush their spirits, but Nicko refused to let despair take hold. He drew strength from his mother's unwavering resilience and her ability to find moments of joy even in the face of adversity.

As Nicko sat in his wheelchair, the weight of his father's absence weighed heavily on his shoulders. The loss had been devastating, especially since his father had passed away earlier than was considered normal, when he was just fifteen years old. Without a father to rely on, Nicko felt the weight of the world on his young shoulders. The heavy atmosphere in the room was interrupted when his mother, weak and frail, made a request. Her voice trembled with a mixture of longing and desperation as she asked Nicko to hand over the albums. She yearned for one last glimpse of the photographs that held the precious memories of their lives together. Nicko's heart sank as he realized the gravity of his mother's plea. The realization that these might be the final moments for her to relive the cherished memories they had shared struck him like a dagger to the heart. The fleeting nature of life became painfully apparent, and he struggled to contain his emotions. "Ma, please don't speak like that," Nicko implored, his voice laced with a mixture of sorrow and desperation. "Don't say such words anymore. Believe that you'll live longer than you think, okay?" He clung to a thread of hope, trying to shield his mother from the harsh reality that he himself had already come to accept.

Inwardly, Nicko knew that time was running out. He knew that his mother's health was deteriorating rapidly, and the promise of a future together was slipping away. But he couldn't bear to shatter her spirit or let her see the despair that lay heavy in his heart. As Nicko handed over the albums to his mother, he couldn't help but feel a profound sense of loss. The weight of impending grief settled heavily on his shoulders, threatening to crush his spirit. In the depths of his heart, Nicko knew that their time together was dwindling.

The reality of his mother's impending departure loomed over them, casting a shadow on their every interaction. But even in the face of this heartbreaking truth, Nicko remained steadfast in his determination to shield his mother from the depths of his sorrow. As they sat together, enveloped in a bittersweet silence, Nicko clung to the fragile hope that his mother's strength and resilience would prevail. He yearned for more time and more memories, but he knew that life's cruel hand had dealt them a devastating blow. And so, in the face of imminent loss, they clung to each other, finding solace in the love that had sustained them throughout their journey. "Do you still remember your promise?" Nicko asked, his voice quivering with a mix of sadness and determination.

"You've promised me that you'll attend my graduation, and you'll be the one to hang my medals, right?"

He clung to this flicker of hope, this small beam of light in the darkness that threatened to consume them. His mother's tired eyes met his, a mixture of love and longing shining through, but she could no longer answer that question, and all she did at that moment was nod weakly until the album and pictures she got hold of landed on the floor out of her grip, causing a short thud that scattered the pictures on the ground.

In the depths of Nicko's anguish, he felt his heart breaking into a million shattered pieces. The weight of the circumstances pressed upon him, threatening to suffocate his spirit, which stunned him. At the moment, he was unable to move his body due to the shock of the sudden circumstances. Though he knew that would happen, he didn't expect that to happen at the very moment. And a large amount of tears starts to fall on the scattered pictures on the ground. He couldn't fathom why his prayers seemed to fall on deaf ears, as if God had turned a blind eye to their suffering. Life appeared cruel and meaningless, a never-ending cycle of pain and despair. Nicko couldn't help but question the purpose of it all, wondering why he and his family had to endure such relentless hardships. The world seemed to revel in their suffering, an unfeeling entity that showed no mercy.

As he witnessed his mother's declining health 'until her death, the thought of losing her became an unbearable reality until the moment it actually happened. The pain of losing his father was still fresh, and the idea of facing another devastating loss threatened to tear him apart. The mere notion of a world without his only family left him teetering on the edge of insanity, driving him crazy. In the depths of his despair, the idea of death as an escape began to consume his thoughts when he saw the knife he used to slice lately beside the plate. The notion that it might be better to end his own life rather than endure a world filled with torment, suffering, and misery flowed through his mind. The darkness whispered seductively, promising an end to the pain that seemed to follow him relentlessly. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her; the only anchor in his sole existence was rubbed in an instant. He resolved to be her rock and her source of strength, even as his own world crumbled around him. To the point that he thought that life was useless and miserable, and he could only blame the world for being ruthless and cruel towards his family and to him, which led him to conclude that it is better to die than to live in this world if you'll only suffer from time to time.

And the thought of it drives him out of his mind.