VO – Even a fearful beast does not bite the one that gives them food. When I was 13 I decided to be a cook. My dream was to cook for the Blue House. I want to be the one that gives food to the strongest. That is how I became a cook.

He says this to a woman interviewer.

W – As you said, you really became the youngest cook in Blue House history.

BW – The first cook

In the kitchen, he finished up another plate and hands it over. A man comes up speaking Chinese, itis translated by a woman. The man tells him that the diplomat is sensitive to fish bones so be careful please.

Bong-won tells him, if you say that one more time then I will only serve you fish head. The woman stares at him then translates something more appropriate.

BW mumbles something about the Chinese emperor.

In the interview, BW says that fish cake was developed by this emperor because he is so particular about fish bones. He likes so he ate it all the time, but as soon as he finds a fish bone, he chops off their head. The chefs are all dead.

While he is talking we cut back and forth from the interview to the kitchen where he is making the fish.

BW – The new chef cut the fish on the table and thought, Eureka! And made that dish. Lucky guy.

They give the food to the diplomats.

BW – Good food can penetrate into an iron heart. The most attractive bullet in the world. SO when I cook in the Blue House, the food is diplomacy

W – Let’s hear something that people will be interested in. Like a background story of the Blue House

BW – Before that, kets make sure that my name is not released and the money is only cash, right?

Cut to a dark kitchen room. BW is trying to kiss a woman but she stops him because of the camera in the room. He tells her that is broken. She asks if it is broken or was broken by someone.

He tells her that sometimes they need their own privacy. She wonders if they can do this here? He tells her that the diplomat will taste Heaven with this main dish.

The diplomat eats another piece of the dish. He loves it, but there is a fish hook in the dish. Someone sneers.

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Cut to tons of officers running after Bong-won. But he thinks they must be running after him to thank him. He starts to whistle and walk outside the kitchen.

TITLE: JANG BONG HWAN IN WONDERLAND

POLICE

two police officers knock on a door to try and get Jang Bong-hwan.

Inside another room, another chef complains about Jang Bong-hwan. He thinks people will remember chef Boo Soon-min and not Jang Bong-hwan (this must be a few years ago with the corrupt president).

The man talking to him tells him that they are clean, don’t say something suspicious.

In the apartment or hotel, the police tell Bong-hwan that they have evidence of corruption in the food supply. Bong tells them that the hook was just left accidentally (or placed on purpose, something like that). He asks if that makes him fired?

The police tell hi that there is evidence of corruption for two years. Bong tells them that he did not do this corruption, someone is blaming him for it. It is Boo Sung-min who is doing it. He worked in the Blue House longer than me. It is him.

The police tells him to just come. Bong wonders why Boo Sung-min would do this much only to get him fired. Now I see that it should be someone at the executive level.

The cops tell him to stop talking to himself, we are in a hurry. Bong is about to close the door on them, but they force themselves in so he runs to the balcony and locks himself out.

They run and try and bring him back in. He tells them to go home and find the root of corruption. Then he tries to hop off the balcony and escape on the ledge. The cops tells him he is crazy, just come back in!

Bong – I have an important question. Why do you serve Korean sausage (blood sausage) I really hate it.

The cops yell at him and ask why he is talking so much about food!. He says he is a chef. a bird poops on his hand. This makes him fall because it is gross.

But while he is falling he sees a couple pretty girls and smiles at them. He lands in the pool, sinks to the bottom, and hits his head. All the while he thinks that there are so many pretty women that he did not meet.

A woman starts to swim to him (he is now in a deep deep pool or pond). HE tells the woman to save him, I want to live. There is green aurora like light all around him. The woman kisses him.

ADVERTISING

—————–

/2/

Bong wakes up and thinks he is in a morgue fridge. He kicks off his sheets and gets out. He is now in the past, but he doesn’t know that yet. He looks at the door and pokes a hole in the paper to look out. Then he does some squats.

He wonders where his muscle went? How long have I been laying down? But then he looks at his hands and wonders, what is this?

He runs to the mirror and looks at himself. He is a woman! Not only a woman, but a woman in the Joseon Dynasty.

BW – Maybe this is a dream. A woman dream. I was almost dead. Maybe I am okay, but I should have a dream with a woman, not becoming a woman. Dream and nightmare is only one thing different. But this woman looks familiar. Instagram? No, someone I had skinship with.

He remembers that this is the woman that kissed him underwater. The water ghost. He says something but his voice is a lady voice.

Then one of the maids comes in and is surprised to see her moving.

maid – You woke up! I am so surprised! No, don’t move, you are not 100% yet. Let me.

She holds Bong nd lays her down softly then gives her medicine. Bong thinks, yes, I should have this kind of dream. But the drink is super bitter so he/she spits it out.

The maid tells her that she will make it again! Bong wonders what is going on. The maid apologizes profusely on her knees and ays it was her fault. She will never take her eyes off her again!

But when she looks up, the Queen is gone. The queen has walked outside the room and sees dozens of women bowing to her. Bong is like, what is this? He takes off running.

All the maids start to run after her. Bong wonders why they are following him! This is scary.

Running montage around the castle.

Bong runs outside and thinks this is crazy. Am I in the palace? This must be a dream. But the really strange thing is that I am running like this but nothing bothers me.

He grabs his crouch and wonders, where is my thing! Where is it!

The maid says that she can help her find it! What are you looking for?

Bong falls to the ground and says she became castrated. She sadly asks them what they did to her! What kind of screwed up dream is this! Does Boo Sung-min have this much grudge towards me?

They look at her like she is crazy.

She asks, was it Han Sijang that had my entire body surgeried like this! Can the manager of the Blue House do this! Argh!

Everyone is looking at her. Bong asks why they are looking at him like that? Its almost as if I had a time slip.

But then he realizes that he probably did have a time slip. He/she screams!

—————–

/3/

ROOM

Cut to the doctor asking him what he date of birth is. He/she says 1990-something. He says his birthday. The doctor asks where he lives. He/she says Seoul. He asks her parents name. He says everything about his parents. They are teachers and she is the only son. Do you want me to tell you more?

They think she went crazy. The do tor goes outside and shakes his head at the head nurse. This does not look good.

The queen is shaking her leg uncontrollably. He asks the maid to tickle him so she does. He laughs and thinks this is too real. It can’t be a dream. So he asks the maid what happened to this woman. Me, this woman that is me.

the maid says this is all her fault. Please kill me! Bong thinks that if killing her can solve his problem then he will do it. The maid freaks out. Bong says he won’t do it, calm down. Tell me everything.

The maid tells her that a couple days ago the Queen said she was tired and wanted to prepare to sleep. I saw that you slept so I left.

Flashback to that night. She left and saw two officers walking towards her. They are patrolling. She nodded and kept walking.

One of the guards is Yang Pyung. He is the Kings step brother so he is a prince. Hong is also walking with him. He complains, do I have to patrol over night with my rank.

Yang Pyung tells him he was only there for two years so you shouldn’t complain. Hong says you are the brother of the King and I am your friend. Yang Pyung sighs. Then Hong asks if he heard something.

Yang asks if this is about woman or ghost? It is one or the other when you talk like that with a low voice and a whisper.

Hong tells him that a ghost showed up in a lake. Then they hear a splash and run to the lake. The Queen is inside.

In the present, the maid says that the guards jumped inside and rescued her. Your pulse was normal, but you did not wake up for one complete day.

Bong – And I just woke up?

The maid nods. Bong thinks, water, me and this woman woke up after being in water. Water changed my body.

He stands and tells them to take her to the lake. All the maids take her to the lake.

Bong turns and tells them that they do not need to follow her! I just want to remember where I fell. But all the maids look at her like she is crazy. Bong thinks this is a super tail, they will keep me from jumping in.

The head maid tells them that they are here. She motions to the bridge. Bong thinks, this is my chance! He takes off running up the bridge and then leaps off a rock. He goes dozens of feet into the air.

VO – I am going back into my own body! I will do nice things! Maria and Jesus and Buddha!

But then he/she looks down, his eyes go wide. The pool is drained! So she falls into the mud.

On the way back, she asks them why there is no water in the lake! Why is it all dry! the head maid says they drained it to prevent the same thing from happening again. I am sorry.

They all apologize.

Bong asks why she is there highness, she is tired of hearing it. The head maid tells the servants that the Queen does not feel good so call her young lady. Bong asks what that word is. (Bee which is an old word for wife that is chosen to be Queen but has not had a royal wedding yet).

The head maid says she was chosen but is not married yet so you are still Beeshimama. Bong asks what all this means. The court woman tells her that she will be the Queen.

Bong is all like, what? I am going to be the wife of the King? Ah! This is driving me crazy!

They all apologize.

THE KING

Elsewhere in the palace, the King is peacefully reading outside on a pergola room. Flower petals are falling around him. Some maids walk by and say that he is so pretty. But then we cut and see that the king is actually reading a sexy book.

The head Eunuch notices and tells him that it has been two hours already I am worried about your health your highness.

He tells the eunuch that as a King thinking about the country, the most important thing is thinking about the heir. It is difficult for me but I can’t stop studying. The eunuch is all like, you know that you are not studying right now.

At the same time, Bong is still complaining about being Queen. But he thinks, well if he is the Queen then he is in the Royal family. He smiles and tells his servants to call her highness if they want. that means I am above you.

They all say yes, your highness. She tells them to fill the lake with water right now. I order you to. Then he thinks this is so easy.

The head maid tells her that it is not possible.

A woman is walking up to them but is distracted by the handsome King so she trips and water flies. Another maid blocks the Queen from getting wet. When the person who spilled the water looks and sees that it is the future Queen, she drops to her knees and apologizes.

The King looks over.

APPOINTING CONCUBINE

Bong is at the official concubine appointment. She says all the usual things with concubines out loud, though thinks in her head about this Cho person and her family and how she is a dangerous woman to him which makes her even more attractive to him.

She extends her hand to have a good relationship.

Bong – (The winning team is my team but a pretty woman like her is the demilitarized zone.)

They shake hands. Though it is more forced on Bong’s side. it does not seem like anyone knows what a handshake is so maybe it has not been imported yet.

Bong sits to have a lovely chat with the concubine. She wants to talk about the King. She motions for Choi to leave. So the maid does. Bong asks Cho is the King ever bluffs?

She uses the word Lee Bam Jook (which is during the day he winds, at night he falls).

Bong – You know, he bluffs like we had a hot night and lied about what happened last night and_

Cho – Your highness I am sorry but this is an inappropriate conversation.

Bong – Oh, sorry if I made you uncomfortable.

Cho – Well I came to the palace yesterday. I had a busy schedule.

Bong – Okay, sorry, sorry.

Cho leaves but before leaving she tells Bong that the King is not that king of person.

Bong wonders wha that means and starts to yell about her situation because she thinks she slept with the King.

KING

Meanwhile, the king is in his room reading upside down. The eunuch goes and sees it and then walks away with a chuckle. But it looks like the King did this on purpose.

Cut to the Kings memory of another night. Ont his night several men in black are fighting. Two men break into a safe style room to find something. One of them is the King. They are looking for something though it is unclear what. They also steal all the gold.

One of the servants sees them and yells that there is a robbery. he rings the bell so the men in black have to run away.

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Another man follows on a horse and catches them quickly. Then more men follow on horses.

There is a little baby that is being rocked to sleep when all these men run into her. She accidentally drops the baby in the street, so of course the King has to run back and super fly kick another person to rescue the little kid and gives him back to the mama.

The men did not see a reason to stop and apprehend the King? They just kept riding on by.

The next day, the King changed in his room and was caught by his servants. So this all happened last night.

VO – It wasn’t in the secret shed. if it is not in the most secretive and the most secure place then did they hide it in the tiger cave? (an impossible place)

The queen is announced and comes in. She is heated. He tells her that he is busy right now. She tells him that she has the same issue and also tells him that he is so busy so he doesn’t have time to hold his paper properly. She flips it around for him.

he says he was thinking about something. So she says to go on, I will wait. She sits and glares at him.

He wants to know why she is glaring at him like that? Bong is snide and says he works hard. You have your concubine so sleep with her from tonight. Also, don’t you have something to tell me.

King – You came to see me so you should have something to tell me.

Bong – It is only you and me so let’s be honest. Last night we….

King – We had a good time together.

Bong – Okay, you are doing that.

She stands up and glares at him sadly.

King – You are bothering me.

Bong – *goes up to him* Hey, if you are embarrassed to talk about it, why don’t we make our own hand signal? Like this!

ADVERTISING

He crosses his fingers.

King – What is that?

Bong – It means that what I say is a lie if you cross your fingers.

Bong uncrosses his fingers and tells her that the King never says lies, you may be excused.

QUEENS CHAMBERS

The Queen goes back to her chambers and thinks that life is so hard right now. The young maid, Hong, comes in and gives her a massage. Bong laughs at how ticklish it is.

Choi comes in and tells her that they will have a crash course in palace manners right now. Bong is all laid out and says that she doesn’t want to. Choi hits a fan on her hand several times and says it is Queen Mothers orders.

Bong thinks, well, I need to get the Queen Mother on my side so…

He sits up and tells them that he went to a manners course once when he was 4 to learn diplomacy manners. Shall I show you the power of diplomacy!

Montage of the manners scene. They go over how she should sit and how she should walk and eat and all that. Bong does it all wrong. They go over sewing for embroidery which can calm her heart. But Bong is horrible. She pricks her finger and says it i snot that she does not have manners it is that you two have too much manners, this is worst that Chong Apdong!

(Chong Apdong is a traditional town in Korea)

—————–

/5/

They finally get to where Bong can eat something. She holds out the food so that her young maid Hong can try it. But then she is hit with a memory of a certain night. It is Kim So-yong’s memory.

Bong holds his chest and thinks that she is not sick, she liked the King.

The maids think that So-yong is poisoned! They hit her food out of her mouth. She spits it out. She remembers the face of the King and spending time with him. it appears that he did not like her. That is why he wanted her to get drunk because he did not want to spend the night with her at all. His goal was the same as mine

The maids shake her around. Bong thinks that the King lied about them sleeping together!

She happily shoots her hands up in the air and thinks HALLELUJAH! Nothing happened! Ah, that bothered me so much! I trust myself but I do not trust him.

But the maids are all flipping out because they thought she was having another episode. They are so happy that she is fine, tearfully so.

QUEEN MOTHER

Bong sits with the Queen mother while she is getting her face massaged and pulled to remain young. Bong says that after the manner lesson she realizes the proper lesson of the queen.

Queen Mother tells her maid she can stop with the face pulling. The maid stands in the corner.

Bong starts to talk about how all the lakes are empty in the palace so there is no negative yang energy. if the lakes are all filled then i will have the prince right away.

The Queen says no, you were almost killed in the lake. Following our rule, everyone that serves you should be executed, but we did not want to draw blood in front of the royal wedding. If you want to fill the lake then I will follow the proper steps I will execute everyone who was responsible.

Bong thinks this Queen is crazy. He tells the Queen he will try to sleep with the King for three days to try and get a prince. Can you fill the lake?

The Queen says 7 days.

Bong says 5 days.

The Queen says to execute all the people next to the Queen.

Bong quickly tells her 7 days! If you promise to me that you will fill the water ten I will get pregnant with the prince. But he thinks that he will just leave so its no problem.

DAEBI

The Queen Dowager (Daebi) prays in her room or at a temple. Cho comes in. They are both from the same family. Daebi gives Cho Hwa-in a talisman to look at. Cho looks at it and grows alarmed.

Daebi – Living in the palace is like that. No one to rely on and when you feel nervous it is forever nervous. What is your birthdate? What is the best thing to make a prince? Ah, ha ha ha, I have to read your match with the King first. if you need a stronger talisman then let me know. I know a shaman who is good at curses. it works.

Cho looks all sorts of alarmed. She tries to play it off and tells Daebi that she is sorry but she is there to only serve the King. I am sorry.

Daebi tells her not to worry and then mentions that she should have a lonely night as soon as she became a concubine. I am sorry but the King and the Queens sleeping nights are seven days. Sleeping with the queen should not be missed but they have seven days straight? Don’t worry, his heart to you will not change in that seven day period.

Cho smiles politely and bows. But she looks worried.

That night she writes in her room and thinks back to that night. The Queen told her that she would lose an important person to her. Then the Queen fell in the water? It is almost like she jumped in or So-yong pushed her in.

Her maid comes in and snaps her out of her writing. She accidentally messed it up with her thoughts. She says she will have to throw it away.

The maid thinks Hwa-jin should be the queen because she has the best mannerisms. That Queen does not deserve it. Hwa-jin tells her to stop, the Queen is like another King so let’s stop talking about her badly.

The maid keeps talking and says that they forgerized the sleeping days and blamed you for things you didn’t even do. Why did that happen why you were passing by?

But then she holds her mouth in alarm. She probably shouldn’t have said that. The maid says she is not use to life in the palace. I am sorry.

Hwa-jin asks what she can do for the King this time? Then she crumples up her paper.

—————–

/6/

KING AND QUEEN

The King asks Bong why he set the dates to sleep with him? Bong says she has a request, let’s not touch each other. He tells her no. She says you said you would liste to my every request. But he says he never heard that word before.

Bong – You don’t even know what it is.

King – I do not understand you so I am saying no

Bong – Listen to me, no touch means that we have our own personal happiness. We just say that we sleep together but you go to the concubine and are happy and I am happy here. Okay? No touching each other.

King – Ah, but I say no.

Bong – Whyyyyy?

King – I do not like your behavior.

Bong – (This super crazy guy. Well, a crazy guy knows how to deal with crazy guys.) I don’t know what happened last night so let’s have a hot night again.

King – Hot night?

Bong – Today is our real first night.

Bom chicka bomb bom plays.

King – is that so?

Cut to the King walking slowly. Bong tells him to hurry up. He says the King never runs. So she calls court lady Choi over. he quickly starts to run-walk away.

LATER

Bong dresses in men clothing with the help of maid Hong. he wants to walk around the city and says he will be back by curfew. But maid Hong says no, she will try and stop him if that is the case.

Bong looks in the mirror at his new man look and asks what kind of person she was like. The maid says she was kind and nice. Bong says it is better to hear the truth from her and not others.

So Hong tells her the truth.

She was reading once and someone sniffed so she kicked him out and told people to hit him.

She was practicing her music and did not like the music teacher’s rhythm. It was 1/8th slower than it needed to be so she told some people to come hit her.

She was riding in her carriage and some girls laughed so she told some people to hit them.

Hong continues talking about the Queen and tells her everything that she did. She is giggling while saying it but then says she is sorry, you wanted me to tell you the details.

Bong thinks that a lot of people probably wanted to push her in the lake. Hong says no one knows what kind of person she really is. I served you since we were young. You are warm and smart and a cool person who did everything you wanted to do. You were lonely in the palace because the King was so happy with another woman.

Bong – She is not just a lonely person. She has someone that understand her.

Hong – This woman?

Bong – it means that I am not lonely because I have you. Yeon ah, don’t worry. No one will find it out, sleep tight.

CITY

A man fights off some palace guards. His eyes is bandaged. He says he does not want his wife to become a slave, just poke my other eye out. My only sin is giving birth to a kid in this screwed up world.

He holds a knife to one of the guards and yells. His wife tells him not to do this. He looks at his daughter and then throws somethings and runs away.

ANOTHER HOUSE

Elsewhere, Kim Byong-in polishes his sword. His father, minister Kim Jwa-gun comes in to great him. he tells him palace things and if he decided on a position. Then he tells him that the queen had an accident in the palace. She fell in the lake and lost her consciousness for one day. But now she is awake

He asks how she is, is she fine now. He looks concerned.

Back at the palace, Bong tries to sneak out as a man. He runs into Kim Hwan, one of her cousins or brothers or something like that. He says she looks familiar. Bong thinks he must be royal born since he is dressed nicely and looks confident.

Bong asks what his name is. He says he is Hwan of the Kim family from Hwangdong. Am I that famous?

Bong jokes that he is super famous, it is nice to see you. Hwan starts to walk with her and tells her about a sword fight and how the King has a nightmare. He has had the same nightmare from since he came here from that island. It is being slashed because of the coup.

Bong gets to the gate and holds his badge to get out, but it looks like the guards do not want to let him out. So Bong has to pretend to know Hwan like a brother which makes the guards think he is normal and can leave.

he walks up a street with Hwan but then karate chops him. He passes out.

So Bong happily goes to the giseng house and looks at all the gisaeng happily. But the head gisaeng knows he is a girl and says they do not accept women customers. However, Hong throws them a lot of money so she yells for the women to come in because they have a man customer!

The women all come in. Bong is super happy to see them he winks and smiles like the playboy he is.

—————–

/7/

POLITICIAN

In one of the noble rooms, political talks are going on with Kim Byong-in. He wants his son to have a position. Kim asks why he wants the position now, I heard he passed the exam a while ago.

They tell him that he contacted the family first. The man says his wife’s side is a relative to the Cho family, I am sorry. he bows.

(He is talking to a person from the Kim family.)

Kim tells him that he understands that they think they cannot be successful because of this. This man pledges loyalty to Kim for his entire life. Kim asks him to pour him one cup.

then all the gisengs come in.

FUN ROOM

Meanwhile, Bong is having a wonderful time getting kissed on the cheeks by all the gisengs and throwing money around. He asks, today, who will take off my clothing!

The head giseng peaks in through the door and says she has never seen a pervert like this in all her life as a giseng.

In the politician room, the Kim family continues to wine and dine with soft music.

In another room are police Hong and Yang Pyung the royal guard and step brother. They are trying to think about where that thing they are looking for can be. They know that the Kim family will be appointed as head of the royal guard. Because they are doing this, they will hostage the Kings life. It is also hard to sneak in to their place now.

They keep talking about all the political things about how they have to find corrupt people in the day and assassins at night. is this why you brought me here from Kang hwa?

The King is sipping tea in another room and chuckling. It looks like these two re pretending to talk to each other but are actually there to talk to the King.

King – Hey, you followed me when I said I was going to rescue this corrupt Joseon.

We see a flashback of the King living dirty on the island and saying he was going to shove it up the corrupt King.

Hong tells him that he was so cool when he said that, I did not know that this super cool thing would make me wok this hard.

Yang Pyung wonders if they notice what they do, maybe that is why they will take over the royal guard? they think, yeah, if they notice it then they should have spies listening in on our conversations.

They look around, presumable for spies.

BONG

Meanwhile Bong is having a great time in his room. He is also super drunk. He leaves and stumbles to the bathroom. But he can’t find his ***** so he looks at the guy next to him (Kim Byong-in) and says that she envies him because he has a *****. Bye bye my *****! I envy you. Ah, I can’t even pee now.

She ties up her stuff and goes back to her room. All the while he is muttering about why the gods are so cruel.

In the Kings room, they wonder if there really are spies around? But if they knew that then Hyung-nim and Hong should be executed already. Hong rubs his neck. they think that the only thing that changed is that the Queen and the concubine came to the palace. So the Queen maybe used her influence.

They think the Queen put her sword to her husbands throat as soon as they got married.

The King tells them that the only way they can win this war is to prove that the book of corruption exists. They need to find that book right away. To find it, they can give away the position of head of the royal guard. We can get it back later after we get the corruption book.

Hong and Yang Pyung thinks it is more difficult to take it back. The King thinks the head of the Royal guard is for the soldiers. If his body cannot physically support the position then he can’t handle it.

The King thinks he will use a way to get the head of the royal guard position as the last way if it comes to it. But the last way is assassination. It will happen to him anyway.

Suddenly Bong comes in looking all drunk. He stares at everyone. Everyone stares at him. Bong wonders, what the f is this rom?

His eyes settle on the two men sitting in front of her and the King in the background. He yells, the bell rang! Then runs off.

The two guys think that that is the Queen! She followed us dressed like a man, we need to follow her and find out how much she heard!

The King stands up. The guard wants to unsheathe his sword. The King puts it away. The guard says not to hesitate because of a little relationship. The King tells him he will do it himself and takes the guards sword. Then he cuts a piece of his clothing with it, maybe?, and ties it around his face.

He runs off after the Queen.

Bong is still running to the palace though she is super drunk. The bell keeps drinking. The King jumps in front of her. She startled back.

He turns around and looks at her through his see through hat. Then he pulls out his sword. Bong has sobered. He starts to back away, but he strips on a wagon.

The King pulls out his sword and holds it to Bongs throat. Bong looks up at him.