Endless Love
Everything means nothing - 1
The first time Soohyun notices it, she brushes it off thinking it's nothing. She's out on a date with Jeongguk and for the first time they let his best friend Taehyung tag along. Soohyun had heard a lot about Taehyung before she actually met the man.
Jeongguk talked about Taehyung a lot, about him being smart and him brightening the mood of the environment wherever he went, about him being kind and polite and about him being funny as well as understanding. Jungkook never spoke about how beautiful and pretty the man actually is.
Jeongguk picks Soohyun up first, there's a smile on his face when he greets her, eyes crinkling in the corners. He just looks happy, more than he's ever seemed before. He shines.
She asks, her face breaking into a smile too.
He shakes his head and grins before shrugging.
She nods and opens the passenger door to get in and then Jeongguk softly asks
Jeongguk
Do you mind sitting behind?
She stares at him for a second, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
Jeongguk worries his bottom lip, eyes not meeting hers as he replies.
Jeongguk
You know, you're meeting Taehyung for the first time and he already argued and whined about how he would feel like a third wheel and lonely with us, uh, so I thought that maybe if you sit behind and he sits beside me, he won't feel completely left out.
Jeongguk
And it's only for one day, you can manage, right?
His eyes finally meet hers and something tells her that even if she denies or puts up a fight it won't matter. Jeongguk has made up his mind. So she agrees.
Soohyun sighs and settles behind. Jeongguk gives her a dazzling smile before he slips into the driver's seat and starts driving. It takes about 10 minutes for them to reach Taehyung's apartment building.
She spots a man waiting by the gates, he's nervously playing with the hem of his shirt before he takes his phone out of his pocket and checks the time. The car halts right in front of him and Jeongguk opens the passenger door for him— Taehyung.
Taehyung smiles brightly.
He says before he slips in. Soohyun tries not to dwell on the fact that Jeongguk never, never lets her call him that. He says it sounds stupid and childish, guess he doesn't mind if it's him.
Soohyun greets cheerily despite everything, her voice squeaking.
Taehyung's head whips in her direction and his smile dims down a little.
Taehyung
Hello Soohyun, it's nice to meet you.
He says, trying to extend his hand for a shake but it's making it a little difficult because he's half turned into his seat and his body twisted into a weird angle.
Jeongguk hits his arm lightly while chuckling.
Jeongguk
Who even shakes hands, hyung?
Taehyung pouts as he turns back again and settles on his seat properly. Jeongguk takes that cue to drive.
When they reach the restaurant, Taehyung settles down in front of them. He's animatedly talking about a show and Jeongguk intently listens to him, eyes focused and laughing when the other cracks a joke. Soohyun takes this time to carefully take in Taehyung's appearance.
He's pretty, beautiful, his soft brown hair flopping onto his equally soft brown eyes. A mole decorates the tip of his nose and there's another by his full lips. His fingers are tangled beneath his chin, long slender fingers accessorised with thin rings. He laughs at something Jeongguk says, his whole face brightening, boxy grin displaying straight white teeth.
Soohyun
So, Taehyung-ssi, what do you do?
Soohyun asks, interrupting Taehyung. Jeongguk's face flashes with irritation but it's gone as soon as it appears. Maybe it's not what she thinks it is.
Taehyung
I'm a photographer with a great interest in paintings and art.
Soohyun's eye twitches as she suppresses an urge to roll her eyes.
Soohyun
That's great, but do you even earn?
Soohyun
I mean a photographer-
Jeongguk
Woah, that's not the case.
Jeongguk
He's not one those who just roams and and takes pictures, he's professional, he photographs models and does shoots.
Jeongguk
He's even photographed for Gucci and Victoria's Secret and-
Taehyung
Gukkie, that's enough.
Taehyung interrupts, cheeks flushed.
Taehyung
Yes Soohyun-ssi, I'm a professional.
Taehyung
I am a freelance photographer.
Jeongguk nods, looking proud.
From then on, the dinner is exceptionally uneventful. Jeongguk was worried about Taehyung feeling like a third wheel, but Soohyun feels left out. She looks at Jeongguk who gives his eggs to Taehyung because he likes them, she looks at Taehyung who blushes while saying that Jeongguk didn't have to do that.
She watches Jeongguk stop Taehyung from eating the spicy dish because he can't eat spicy food, she watches Taehyung wipe the corner of Jeongguk's mouth with his handkerchief. She watches Jeongguk's neck and ears paint themselves pink.
She brushes everything off nonetheless, maybe it's because Jeongguk has known Taehyung a lot longer than he's known her. Yeah, it's because of that.
The next time she notices something between them, suspicions arise.
The two of them are having a date at Jeongguk’s when his doorbell suddenly rings. Jeongguk’s eyebrows pinch together as he glances at the clock; it’s 12am, who’d be here at this time? they both wonder as Jeongguk makes his way towards the door.
Soohyun gets up along with Jeongguk and beforehe pulls the door open she wraps her arms around his torso and leans on him. When Jeongguk finally pulls the door open they’re both met with a distraught Taehyung. His head is hanging low but when he looks up there are tears brimming in his eyes. When his eyes takes in the sight in front of him, hurt and regret flashes his face.
Taehyung
I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know y-you-
Before he could complete his sentence, Jeongguk ruthlessly pushes her arms away and takes a step towards Taehyung. He looks at Taehyung as the other brokenly whispers,
Everything means nothing - 2
Soohyun stands there as Jeongguk wraps his arms around his friend, pulling him to his chest. His fingers card through the other's hair as he soothingly whispers reassuring words in his ear. Jeongguk doesn’t know what’s wrong but he doesn’t seem to care; if Taehyung is distressed he’ll do everything in his power to make it okay.
Jeongguk then pulls Taehyung inside and asks Soohyun to shut the door behind him. She complies as Jeongguk sits Taehyung down on the couch and kneels in front of him, taking his hands in his as Taehyung slowly cries.
Jeongguk
What’s wrong, hyung?
Jeongguk
Did something happen?
Jeongguk fires his questions, as if he’s desperate to make Taehyung’s pain go away.
Soohyun takes a seat on the edge of the couch away from the two men as she silently takes in the scene.
Taehyung
Y-you know I had this party today..
Taehyung starts and then Soohyun finally takes in his clothes. He’s dressed fancy, a silver deep-necked shirt, a choker and black ripped jeans. His hair is dyed silver, kohl lines his eye and a silver studded earring hangs from one of his ears. He looks good, exceptionally good. And as if Jeongguk is thinking the same, his eyes rake over Taehyung’s form as he licks his lips.
Jeongguk nods, urging the other to continue.
Taehyung
So, t-this guy approached me and wanted to be my friend, he asked if I’d have a drink with him and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to have one more drink-
Jeongguk groans loudly, making Taehyung stop.
Jeongguk
Why do you always trust people so easily?
Jeongguk
That’s why I’m always so worried about you, maybe you should hire me as your bodyguard or something.
Jeongguk
God, hyung... he touched you didn’t he?
Jeongguk
Tell me his fuckíng name I’ll destroy his fuckíng life-
Taehyung
Gukkie! It’s okay.
Taehyung interrupts him. His hands cupping the younger’s cheeks. Jeongguk visibly relaxes under his touch, his eyes softening, jaw relaxing and Soohyun feels she interrupting something, a precious moment, something that’s not hers to witness or share.
She calls. Both men look at her, eyes widening as if they're only now realising that she’s there. She frowns.
Soohyun
I’ll go home, you can sort whatever this is out. I’ll see you later.
She says before she leaves. Neither Taehyung nor Jeongguk stop her.
As she hails a cab she wonders why Taehyung has to come to Jeongguk? Why couldn’t he go somewhere else? Anywhere else. And why did Jeongguk seem so troubled by the fact that Taehyung was hurt and distressed? She’s never seen Jeongguk so sad because of someone else, and the way his eyes burned with a fire when he heard someone touched Taehyung— Soohyun doesn’t want to think about it. Doesn’t want to doubt that the line of friendship between Jeongguk and Taehyung is maybe, slowly blurring.
Unbeknownst to Soohyun, when she leaves, Jeongguk showers Taehyung with kisses all over his face, reassures him that it’s alright, that he’s there and he won’t let anything happen to him. He has his arms securely wrapped around Taehyung's small body and Taehyung’s face is pressed to Jeongguk’s chest. He feels safe and serene as he breathes the younger in before he falls asleep.
The line between friendship and love had blurred a long while back.
The next time it happens, Soohyun is sure that something’s up, so she turns to the only person who can tell her what she wants to know.
Taehyung invites them and some of their other friends including Jimin to a party hosted by the company he’s currently working with. As soon as Soohyun spots Taehyung waving at them from the middle of the room, she freezes, because what the fúck is he even wearing?
Jeongguk’s jaw drops as he checks Taehyung out. He’s wearing a black off the shoulder crop top, with white deep slits on the either side of his leg. Soohyun looks at Jeongguk who’s staring at Taehyung, his jaw clenched and hands fisted. He’s particularly staring at one spot. With confusion masking her face she turns to look at Taehyung, at the place where Jeongguk’s staring, and then she notices it - a dark purple bruise, a love bite, a hickey on the side of Taehyung’s neck. So Jeongguk isn’t surprised or annoyed at what Taehyung is wearing, he’s annoyed and hurt because of something else.
Taehyung
It’s so great to see you two!
Taehyung smiles when he’s near them.
Taehyung
And Jiminie, I thought you weren’t coming?
Jimin sticks his tongue out.
Jimin
You invited me so I had to come.
Taehyung asks when he takes Jeongguk’s tense posture.
Jeongguk’s eyes snap from his neck to Taehyung’s face and he unconsciously glares.
Jeongguk
Nothing, I think I’ll visit the washroom.
He says before he excuses himself and leaves. Taehyung follows behind him without a second thought.
Soohyun invites Jimin to have a drink with her. Jimin’s confused for a moment before he accepts.
Soohyun
What’s up with Taehyung and Jeongguk?
I don’t know what’s going on but I feel there’s something between them, but I can’t name it.
Jimin stares at her owlishly before chuckling.
Jimin
You’re his fiancé now and he hasn’t told you yet?
He asks, almost taunts. His eyes sparkle with an emotion as he smirks.
Jimin
You know, Jeongguk and Taehyung go way back.
Jimin
They used to date before. They were inseparable and possessive about each other. Jeongguk was whipped as fúck, he’d stare at Taehyung as if he was the reason why stars shined at night, he looked at him like he was everything he’d ever wanted and needed. Then, eventually..
Jimin pauses, index finger circling the rim of the glass as he collects his words.
Jimin
Jeongguk’s parents came to know, funny actually, caught them fuckíng. You know how Jeongguk’s parents are, Jeongguk is suppose to inherit the company and he can’t be 'gay'. Jeongguk couldn’t run away, Taehyung didn’t want that. So..
Jimin
You’d be dumb if you still don’t see the way Jeongguk looks at Taehyung, he’s like a fuckíng dog wagging his tail whenever Taehyung comes by.
Soohyun wants to laugh, she wants to cry. She knew it all along, but yet she ignored it. Obviously, there’s something there.
So am I being cheated on?”
Jimin
If you consider Jeongguk’s heart cheating on your heart then I’d say yes, but they aren’t involved like that. You saw the way Jeongguk fumed when he saw the hickey on Taehyung’s neck, he would’ve been fuckíng proud if he were the person who’d gave him that.
She nods. She wants to run away but she won’t. She’s in love with Jeongguk, with the idea of building a life with him and having his children.
Jimin
You may be marrying him the day after tomorrow, you may have the title of being his wife, you may have his body. But, you’ll never have his heart, his mind and his soul, for Taehyung’s name is engraved on it, so deeply even god can’t erase it.
When Jeongguk comes out of the washroom, Taehyung’s running behind him, tears streaming down his face. Soohyun is startled when Jeongguk pulls on her arm and asks her if they can go home. Soohyun agrees, she looks back at Taehyung who looked like his heart was ripped out of his chest and crushed beneath, by Jeongguk
That night, Jeongguk fúcks her. Hard and fast and ruthlessly. He fúcks her until there’s not an ounce of energy left in his body, he fúcks her chanting a name.
The strand breaks in two when she wakes up the next morning. She doesn’t find Jeongguk but she finds a small letter along with Jeongguk’s ring on the bedside table. Her stomach drops, bile rising up her mouth as she reads-
Just one day - 1
When Jeongguk says he has a clever daughter, he means he has a vigilant and diligent daughter who understands him as well as he does himself. Who, likes to speak to him the way he speaks to his clients with extreme professionalism and respect just like the mini version of an adult but with the exception of having limited vocabulary.
Who, surprisingly unlike him, does not have the tendency to be stuck in denial about his own feelings for Kim Taehyung: resident outgoing boy who brings the only little life and warm light to this very small town with just a simple smile and quiet, gentle laugh. Also Kim Taehyung: Nari’s favorite babysitter of all time.
He’s the 4th babysitter after many who refused to come back because she was too difficult to please. It’s hard having Nari warm up to strangers, especially ones who aren’t familiar to her yet, but Taehyung’s a genuinely special case. All he did was show up at the door, thanks to Jeongguk's colleague, Jimin, and his connections and after an hour of playing with Nari under Jeongguk’s observation, Taehyung was automatically loved by the fussy little girl.
But Taehyung has always had a strangely innocent vibe to him, a purity that’s genuine and adorable which makes him endearing and lovable. Perhaps that’s why Nari took so much enthusiasm and interest in him. He plays very well with her, too.
Jeongguk throws a look over his shoulder, at his 4 year-old who sits on the carpeted floor with maybe only ten dolls of all sorts of species surrounding her. Nari picks up her favorite Barbie doll with one hand and a teddy bear with the other before she turns to Jeongguk, blinking at him curiously. Jeongguk will never get over her big cute eyes.
Nari
When did Taehyung oppa say he was coming again?
Nari
Yesterday he said he was going to the mall to buy clothes.
Nari
Then, shower and come here at six o’clock.
She says loudly and clearly, and Jeongguk nods his head as he adjusts his blood red tie. The clock read 5:46 the last time he glanced at it but he doesn’t know how long it’s been since then. Before he walks away, he looks in the mirror by the dining room’s wall and observes his suit, his hair, his complexion. He honestly looks more than ready for the company dinner.
Nari
Daddy, when are you marrying Taehyung oppa?
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, but makes sure Nari doesn’t see it because then she’ll learn from him and begin doing the same thing and, frankly, he doesn’t think he’s ready for his daughter to become a diva just yet.
Jeongguk
Nari, a marriage isn’t as simple as you think it is.
Jeongguk
Two people have to like each other for a long time before they can get married.
Nari
But you and Taehyung oppa love each other!
Improper English but Jeongguk lets it slide.
Jeongguk
No, baby, we don’t.
Jeongguk doesn’t know if Taehyung feels the same way but Jeongguk does kind of, maybe, possibly, probably love Taehyung just that little dot.
Nari
I always tell you that Taehyung oppa always asks me about you and says that you’re handsome!
Nari retorts stubbornly, throwing her Barbie onto her lap as she frowns at Jeongguk.
Nari
Taehyung oppa really, really, really likes you, daddy! Marry him!
Jeongguk
If I married everyone who asked about me and called me handsome.
Jeongguk
Nari, you would have more than thirty mommies and daddies.
Nari eventually huffs, too young to handle her anger better, and Jeongguk makes it a note to himself to tell her soon, that this should be the way to handle her anger if things spiral out of control and get too bad. Huffing is always a lot better than violence which isn’t and shouldn’t be condoned.
The doorbell rings soon enough, and Jeongguk eyes the wall clock again; 5:53.
Jeongguk dusts his suit for absolutely no reason as he makes his way to the door, only to be surpassed by his excited daughter who yells a
As she swings the door open with full force. Jeongguk stumbles behind clumsily at the surprise but laughs when Taehyung’s face contorts into concern as he steps forward in attempt to catch a stable Jeongguk who merely lost his footing.
Jeongguk chuckles in endearment, resting his palm atop Taehyung’s when his go down to rest on Jeongguk’s shoulder in relief. He uses Jeongguk as a support to lean down and scoop Nari’s little frame into his arm and takes a step forward to give Jeongguk a mini, kind of awkward but greatly appreciated hug.
Jeongguk
Welcome back, I guess.
Nari whines, throwing her arms around Taehyung’s neck aggressively which makes Taehyung retract his hand from Jeongguk’s shoulder much to his disappointment. Jeongguk almost rolls his eyes at Nari being a spoilt brat. Taehyung’s spoilt brat.
Nari
Daddy and I missed you! We missed you!
Jeongguk pulls a clown face at Nari even though he knows she’s unable to see it. But that’s completely okay. He just wants to prove the point that his daughter giving her daddy away won’t faze him in any way that she thinks it would. Also, to put on a show to disguise how much he’s actually panicking right now but can’t show it because Kim Taehyung is right in front of him in close proximity.
Why does Jeongguk have a daughter literally just like him? A little devil to accompany the devil himself—he doesn’t need these insufferable tortures sometimes. Just some times. Other times, he’s the happiest man alive and he wouldn’t want anyone else other than Nari.
Taehyung arches an eyebrow in amusement.
Taehyung
Daddy missed me, too?
Jeongguk
Of course, hyung.
Jeongguk
You’ve been a part of our lives since the moment you moved into the neighbourhood and came to our door for self-introduction.
Taehyung beams, quite evidently at either the memory or sweet words, and Jeongguk feels another surge of endearment course through his heart. Jeongguk doesn’t know where Taehyung’s been all his life. He’s always wondered about this, ever since they met the very first day.
If they’d been in the same university back then, Jeongguk’s pretty sure he would’ve dated Taehyung then. Wouldn’t have broken up. Would’ve been married by now.
Then again, if Taehyung had been in his university, Jeongguk wouldn’t have met Nari’s unimportant mother during a scholarship bond, and wouldn’t have had Nari so he guesses, destiny has its way of coming around and has his life all mapped out for him.
He wouldn’t have wanted anything any other way than it currently is now.
Taehyung
Speaking of which, aren’t you late for your company dinner, Jeonggukkie?
Nari finally turns to look at Jeongguk, and this time, unlike the smile she wore before, she’s pulling the usual I-don’t-want-daddy-to-go pout but Jeongguk only scrunches his nose up before clapping his hands and outstretching his arms for a little carry. She’s too big now to be carried, but he can’t help babying his princess all the time.
Nari easily ditches Taehyung for Jeongguk and climbs into Jeongguk’s embrace safely, but not without much help from Taehyung.
Jeongguk
I’ll be home soon, baby.
Jeongguk
I’ll probably even be able to put you to bed—maybe.
Jeongguk
But if I don’t, Taehyung oppa will, okay?
Nari
I want daddy to put me to bed.
Nari pouts even more, eyes brimming with fresh tears that breaks Jeongguk’s heart. This, the exact pain that is faced when you have your own child and you love them just too much.
Nari
I’ll miss you, daddy.
Jeongguk
Do you really miss me every day while I’m gone?
Jeongguk cocks an eyebrow and puts on his pondering face, to which Taehyung intervenes and says,
You’re around most of the time but when you aren’t, you don’t know literally some of the things she does out of missing you.
A pang of emotions slam straight into Jeongguk’s heart and he tightens his hold around his daughter, trying to keep her as close as possible. He loosens up soon though, in fear of crushing her little bones when she begins making soft noises of possible discomfort.
Jeongguk
I love you, I love you, I love you.
Jeongguk whispers into Nari’s ear, lips peppering fat kisses over her chubby cheeks.
Jeongguk
Daddy will come home soon, okay?
Jeongguk
Be Taehyung oppa’s good girl while daddy’s away, understand?
Jeongguk puckers his lips as a sign for a kiss, and Nari grants her daddy one. Sulking, she reaches back out towards Taehyung who brings her back into his body with ease. This happens every time Taehyung’s over to babysit, it’s become a routine now and it always breaks his heart.
Jeongguk heaves a silent sigh and grabs his car’s key off the countertop. Earning a living to sustain everything that they currently have isn’t easy. Jeongguk knows he could quit if he wanted, given he’s quite well off, but the greed for more money to provide his daughter with an even better life keeps hindering it. He’s just glad he doesn’t have to work half a week so it means there’s more time he can spend with his baby girl.
Jeongguk
Sorry to bother you for another night, hyung.
Jeongguk says with endless gratitude in his chest, but infinite love in his heart as Taehyung pats his nape in a friendly way of saying no problem.
Jeongguk
Have a good night. Please stay safe.
Taehyung
You stay safe, Gukkie.
Taehyung’s gaze lingers unusually longer on Jeongguk as he says that, and it’s hard to tell if he’s judging Jeongguk and worrying about him. He disregards this unimportance anyway.
Taehyung
A downpour seems to be approaching so drive safely on the road.
Jeongguk flashes a smile.
Jeongguk
You’ll be able to stay a little longer today, right?
Taehyung
I live alone, did you forget?
Taehyung laughs, patting Nari’s back gently as she drags her forearms across her face to dry her tears.
Taehyung
I’ll be around as long as you want—or need me to.
Jeongguk resists the urge to kiss Taehyung goodbye before he leaves.
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