'Life is full of surprises I guess.  No one knows what will happen next. It's so unpredictable. One moment you are happy and the next moment something happens. If Our childhood and adulthood were the same then it would be our happiest life. But the older we grow the harder our life becomes. It's so much suffocating. In the process of growing, we lost our closest friends and family members. It's not we do that intentionally, it's just happened somehow. Day by day our closest person becomes a stranger. And it's hard to accept.  But we can't do anything. We can just observe the changes in the past. How can people change so easily?? Is it that easy? I wonder sometimes.  People say life is beautiful.  Is it true? I have my doubts about this topic. What if it's just people's imagination? People are so unpredictable.  We will never fully understand another human being. It's just so complicated. In this universe all people are selfish. I don't know if anyone will ever agree with me or not. But I will always say that. '

Here I go again writing some nonsense in my diary. When I will ever stop. It's already have been a mess. Why I'm making it worse? I need to sleep. What time it is now? OHMYGOD it's already been so late. What am I doing? I should go to bed. I have a class in the morning.  I'm so stupid. why didn't I notice the time? If I'm again gone late the professor will kill me for sure. But I'm not feeling sleepy either. I have to fix this problem or otherwise, I would be done for this semester. Another night passed without sleep.

I'm dumb. I don't even tell you my name. So I'm Sofie Amnar. I'm a university first-year student. I don't have any friends. I'm kinda of introverted. When I get close to someone they understand how I am. Introverted people suffer too much don't you think!!

 I don't talk much with my family. I'm currently living in my grandpa's house on the other hand my house alone. It's the only gift I ever received from my grandpa. And it's the best gift I ever received. This house is so peaceful and secure. It also has a little garden on the balcony. And my favourite place to spend. In my little garden, I have so many flowers. Rose, spider lily, sunflower and many more. I have also my cute baby cat Milo. My one and only friend. She is so adorable.  When I'm not home she will spend her time sleeping.

It's already 6:30 a.m. How time flies so fast! Now I have to get ready for my class. I have 2 hours to do my stuff. I'm feeling hungry now and I am also feeling tired too. I can't sleep now. Sometimes I feel I will be dead soon from these things. On a serious note, I wanna die early. Sometimes my heart feels so heavy that I can't take it anymore. The voice in my head it's so unbearable. Oh no, I'm thinking about this stuff again. Didn't I tell you I'm an overthinking person? And it's also my favourite work.

I am almost done with my work. I have to go now otherwise I will be late for class. My home to uni walking distance like 1:30h. I love to walk and listen to music. Because the whole time, I can think, and make conversation with myself. I don't have friends. I can't trust people anymore. And alone life is so peaceful. I wanna spend my whole life in that way. Or I can just die.

I arrived on time. Directly heading for my classroom, I don't wanna meet people gazing. People are so weird. They loved to gossip about anything.  These people don't care whether they are hurting someone or not. In my opinion, they are just empty shells because they don't have any brains to function.

It's raining outside. Rainy weather is best. It calms your heart. Wash away your sadness, and sorrow. You can feel relaxed. I love rain. I wish I could go to a hill and enjoy the rain with a cup of tea. But also the rain makes me sad. I don't know why. Maybe rain makes me sad to give me happiness.

"Today's class ends here. See you in the next class."

Finally, I'm done with my classes. I hate studying. But I love to read. Weird, right? Or maybe it's not who knows?

Can't wait to go home. So exhausted, and sleepy. But first I have to go to the library to get some books for my midterms. Why is the classroom-to-library distance so long?

I put my air buds on my ears play "Born to Die" and start walking to the library. This song makes me think about life.

Life is too short to be sad. You have to find your happiness on your own. Nobody can find that for you. Especially when you are a grown-up person, you are on your own. Your responsibility is on you. You have to take care of yourself. You know the best yourself. No one will be able to fully understand you. Not even your loved one. It's the weird thing about humans.

God!!! My head!!! Where the **** did I just hit my head??

"Are you blind or something? If you are then go see a doctor. "

****! Why do I have to encounter with him? I have to stop thinking while walking. But now that's not the point. The point is I'm ******* embarrassed.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

God, please someone create a hole so I can hide. So embarrassing everyone is looking here. Because I bumped into a guy who is super popular in our uni and a very egotistical person. And I just hit my head on his backpack. I don't know what the **** he is carrying so hard on his backpack. God, why is everyone looking at me? And the guy I bumped into his name is Stefan. He's looking at me in disguise I don't know why. I don't want to stand here anymore. I'm ignoring everyone's gaze and start walking. Finally reached the library. Have to hurry up and go home.

"Hi, long time no see."

Who's talking to me? I turned my head and saw Jessi standing behind me. I like her. She's nice and sometimes helps me with my homework.

"Hi, Jessi how are you doing?"

She hugged me. I don't like people's hugs or any kind of physical touch. But I can't tell her that can I?

"what are you doing here? Can I help you? Are you free after this? I have so much to tell."

I forgot to tell you she talks a lot.

"Thanks, Jessi for asking. But I have everything I want. Umm.. Can we go tomorrow? "

I can't go today god. I hope I'm not hurting her. I feel guilty for saying that.

"yeah sure. Tomorrow after class is okay, right? give me a call when you're done."

"Okay I will Jessi thanks for understanding "

"hush don't say thanks and sorry all the time. It's annoying and  We are friends alright. Okay then see you tomorrow after class bye-bye "

Finally, I can go. Heading to go outside of campus. Our campus is huge. It takes 15/20 minutes to go outside. Sometimes it's so irritating. Today is one of the days I am feeling irritated because I have to walk. God sent someone to pick me up and drop me outside of my campus. No one is coming for me I know. Again plug my air pods and listen to the same song. Because of that time, I couldn't finish. Today's weather is nice. Now it's not raining.  But little bit cloudy.

I have to do some grocery on the way home.  What should I make for dinner? Should I make some Chinese food? I can't think now because my brain is nonstop thinking about sleep.

On my way home there was a park. Sometimes I just sit in the park listen to music and read a book. I love to go there. First of all, it's not crowded and nobody pays attention to what you are doing. **** I almost forgot about the grocery. What I should make and what should buy? This thing is so much confusing. Why do humans have to eat? They should live by consuming water or something. 

Finally did the grocery and reached home. So tired of even cooking something. Should I order? because I'm so hungry.

I ordered some pizza. I was so hungry. I finished my pizza while watching a Netflix show. Now I'm searching for a part-time job. Finally, I found a vacancy for a coffee maker. Did I tell you I'm good at making coffee? I have 2 years of experience. I emailed them my CV, and they replied instantly. That was fast. Hopefully, they will hire me. I have to go there at 3 pm for interview. Now, everything is done. Finally, I can relax. Oh, shoot! I have a quiz tomorrow.

First, I have to make some coffee; otherwise, I can't concentrate. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee helps me focus and stay alert during study. While making coffee, I checked my phone and saw Jesse's text reminding me about our plans for tomorrow. It was a thoughtful reminder that put a smile on my face. After replying to her message, I put down my phone, grabbed my cup of coffee, and took my laptop to my study desk to prepare for the quiz. It took me a solid two hours of focused studying, but I'm finally done with everything. I can't afford to stay any longer, as I need to get a good night's sleep to be fully prepared for the quiz tomorrow. And I have a lot of work waiting for me tomorrow. After setting the alarm to ensure I wake up on time, I went to bed, hoping for a good night's sleep to tackle the busy day ahead.

Uff!!! Stupid alarm, why is it ringing so loudly? Stop, please! I'm fully awake. Why can't I find my phone? It must be hiding somewhere under the blankets. Finally, I can put an end to this noisy morning disruption.

With a sigh of relief, I finally found this stupid thing tucked away amidst the cozy folds of my blanket. Now, I've got to get up and start my day; otherwise, I'll be late for class. 

I dressed up in a casual t-shirt and pants, brushed my hair, and decided to go makeup-free today. After ensuring Milo had his breakfast, I grabbed everything I needed for the day. I felt ready to go, taking a deep breath and embracing the simplicity of the morning routine before stepping out the door.

Walking towards my university, listening to 'Summertime Sadness,' and revising for the quiz. After a full hour of walking, I finally arrived in front of my university. And, to my surprise, guess who I bumped into again? Stefan! Why do I have to bump into him again? God, please! Here he goes again, giving me a disgusted look but not saying anything. And his group are laughing at me. "Sorry, it was not intentional," I muttered, feeling a mixture of frustration and embarrassment. I didn't stay any longer after that awkward encounter. Why do I have to be so blind? I'm feeling so angry and confused. It's puzzleing  why he always looks at me with that disapproving gaze. What did I ever do to him? The emotions welling up inside me are so overwhelming that I feel like crying.

Entering my classroom without making eye contact with anyone, I quietly slipped into a corner seat, too embarrassed to meet anyone's gaze. My heart raced with anxiety. After a few agonizingly long minutes, the teacher arrived and began distributing the question papers, setting the stage for the upcoming quiz.

As soon as the quiz ended, I hurriedly left the classroom. I was on my way out of the university when my phone buzzed with an incoming call from Jessei. I realized I had completely forgotten about our meeting.  I picked up her call immediately. 

"Where are you, babe? I'm waiting in front of your class."

 "Um, sorry, I'm in front of the university. Can you please come here?"

 "What's wrong, babe? Are you okay? Wait there; I'm coming." 

"Okay." Then she hung up the phone. After what felt like an eternity, about 10 minutes later, she came running, clearly out of breath. 

"What's wrong, babe?" I tried to soothe her nerves, saying,

 "Jessei, take a deep breath. Calm down. I'm okay. It was just a hectic day, and I got caught up in the rush, but I'm absolutely fine now."

 "You were lying, weren't you? You know I can tell. So, tell me what's wrong." 

I didn't want to tell her because I knew she would be worried and probably angry with Stefan. She might even try to confront or insult him. I was about to say something to Jessei when Stefan's group passed by, and someone in the group said, "Well, she's here waiting for you, Stefan, hoping to bump into you again."