I’m Jinny, the ugliest girl you could probably meet. I live in a simple little neighbourhood where everyone has gotten plastic surgery.

During my 16 years of survival I have met countless men and women change their face.Overtime you get so used to a new face with a recognisable personality that it feels normal, right, and like this should be the way of life. Of course 60 years ago all this wasn’t so obvious.

60 years ago, you would meet pretty faced girls that had nothing done, but now, 2070, that has changed. The definition of success is beauty.

‘Today’s news, the famous model Anastasia Brulette, has gone from pretty to absolutely burned. On her normal lovely day as the famous model on her way to a live show, was not to stay forever.

When she got into a car accident and a fire began to burn from her agents cigarette. Her face was completely ruined and the mark for how fast a persons career can fall has been surpassed. Here is a clip from a recording of the accident.’

Fire billowed from a mountain of scrap metal and a heap of glass, ‘Nooooo, nooooo, you can’t do this to me!!! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!’ A deafening scream from inside, and a howl like a wolves right before death.

TV has never been more frightening. It was horrible the sound of a screeching pig that had no talent never deserved this. I felt chills run down my spine and crawl deep within me.

I turned the TV off and made sure to put on some music to calm my nerves. Was it always this way? Do people rely on beauty so much that they’d rather die without it? Has life really become so pathetic?

As a child I had never felt the need for any makeup nor surgery. Honestly I thought I was pretty, my parents always suggested so. Kids from my schools would bully me, although I was thin-skinned I was always reminded by mother that she was always there for me.

And that’s how I slowly learnt to not give the fs and live life carefree, of course not everything’s so simple, i had to learn that stuff but I’ve become better.

Walking to school, with my uptight, uncomfortable uniform on and my brown shoulder bag on my shoulder I trotted up the path. Since I’m not so pretty I usually get odd stares when I walk, and people do whisper about me to each other but I learnt to drown them out with headphones.

Is beauty really a survival hack? Why is everyone so obsessed, even teachers seem to be on a roll about being pretty and what not. What do people really see in the person they love? Beauty, or character? Is having a smexy body that much of a necessity?

Granola psychology college, probably the weirdest sounding name possible. The school is normal with real school gates and real bricks and real stationery (they’re not made out of granola like others like to jokeingly say).

And honestly the school isn’t half bad, I’ve learnt a lot about being a psychologist, but the teachers really do kill you inside of your not pretty. Not kidding! My grade are purposely changed because of how I look, and can I say, f**k them?!?!?

I am probably smarter than all their a**es combined and’ll probably end up surpassing all their standards of me, ever. The truth is, though, it’s difficult to find a proper job that doesn’t take beauty into consideration, your flippin’ report doesn’t matter, as long as you wear the sl**ty clothes they give you and you look hot, your in.

Because finding a job previously was always a challenge, I’ve had to wear makeup and contour my face into the nicest looking thing, and it seriously takes FOREVER. But I got to do it otherwise I’ll be homeless before I know it.

In my classroom you’ll find probably all of the popular people in the whole school crowded in a bunch, near my desk. My desk is the most deformed thing on this planet, people have tried to burn it, vandalise it, and paint it. The billions of times I’ve had to clean up their stinky mess is exhausting but it’s not like I can complain, I’ll be expelled faster that way.

I’m like a huge growing fungus on the school that has been stamped on countless times.

As expected my desk has new messages written on it like go to hell or Your so ugly death doesn’t even want you so on and forth. It doesn’t bother me anymore. I sigh look up and see side b**chs snickering at me. Classic Veronica. Meanest b**ch in the school.

She has been my enemy since the moment I stepped into college and we met each other eye to eye. She has tried to freak me out of the school with many ways that never work, she’s never done anything worth prison for but she has done many things that cross the law.

I pick up my bags and prepare for lessons. ‘Hey ugly arnt you upset? Please, give us a few tears.’ That was Brian, the stinkiest bast**d you’ll ever meet.

‘No thanks, my tears are more expensive than your collection of Ferrari’s, you don’t deserve to see them.’ I look up, dead-pan, his eyes fuelled with fire. He was p*ssed.

‘Still arrogant I guess nothings changed after Easter holiday.’ he smirks.

I smile at him fakely, and then swat the air like it was him, he saw and although he knew what I was doing and it clearly angered him he backed off, and didn’t try anything more.

I guess I have formed a sharp tongue since the first time I got bullied, it’s like a survival game, the sharper your tongue the longer you can live.

During class, the kids around me kept throwing stuff at my hair, since it’s curly I guess they think it’s fun throwing paper on it. It’s just pure evil, every time I get out of class I find a random rubber or notebook stuck between tangled of hair I’m certain I made sure to brush off.

What if people stopped judging others using appearance? What if people weren’t bothered by appearance? Is social status or expectation changing other peoples views on things? Are people actually pitying me but can’t do anything about it because they don’t want to be an outcast? Can I make anyone love me? Can anyone love me? What if I did something? Something to see if people could fal in love with me? What if I want love?

Ideas swirled round my head and an ingenious idea built itself! What if I pick a person to love me and guarantee that they’ll love me for me?!? My eyes grow wide and alert. But who should I pick? I want someone difficult to prove my point! Someone who maybe even hates me!!

I bite the inside corners of my lips (a little tick of mine when I’m thinking really hard) my eyes scan the room, a guy who hates me and I can experiment on... my eyes set right on him, eyes widen in excitement , well duh he hates my guts, this’ll be difficult but I like a little challenge.

I smile evily, I felt like a mad scientist in this case more of a crazy psychologist! He is my target, BRIAN!

‘Jinny what are you doing, you freak get your dirty hands off of me!!’

Brian is struggling to get me off of him, all week this has gone on, and I’m still puzzled as to why nothings working. I’ve tried writing poems and sticking them in his locker, I’ve held his hand before he could get away, I complimented him so many times I lost count!! What am I doing wrong? I even told him that I dream of putting Nutella on him and licking it off ( thought that’ll make him horny) but he just called me names and left me!!

He is beyond my comprehension. As my head is being thrown back and forth while he’s trying to get me off of his arm his face looks so damn freaked out I almost want to laugh.

‘I love youuuuu!!’ I tell him and he freezes, OMG I can’t handle it, I’m about to burst, this dude is so damn awkward. I can’t hold back.

‘HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!’ I let go of him and slam my hand on my leg, his face was priceless!!! The expression was the same like hearing that your best friend peed in your drink!

The playground suddenly goes quiet and I feel something behind me tense up. SUGER!! I think I just p**sed him off to the limit.

‘You dare make fun of me?’ His face was that of a bulls and his demeanour resembled the green Hulk. My body shook, damn never knew he could actually be scary.

‘No of course not.’ I say sarcastically, although I’m stepping on land mines here I still need to act calm and relaxed so that I don’t look like a complete idiot. His eyes were murderous. Before my mind could process the words, come here, my arm was dragged away by a powerful force.

We were near the PE changing rooms and Brian slammed me straight into a wall. I tried to get away but he pressed his body against me so that we were almost kissing.

‘What are you planning to do? Ruin me? What is it that you want!?’

He looked so desperate I almost felt bad but it soon faded when I realised that he isn’t so nice.

‘A date! On Saturday by 5 pm I need you at the New Felixstowe beach near the fish and chips stand.’

He looks at me intensely in the eyes and then smirks. ‘Why do you think ill listen to an ugly girl like you? You don’t own me!’

I was rendered speechless. What could I do so that he could agree?

‘You...’

‘Nothing to say? Even though you have a crush on me I won’t be easy on you, nor nice!’ He let go of my arms and stormed off. My wrists hurt and I rubbed them. What a tyrant!

For the rest of the week I sent him flowers, cards, toys (like for children) and so many other romantic c**p but every time he threw the stuff away.

‘Stop it Jinny it’s getting irritating!’

‘Please spend Saturday with me, oh I’ll be sooo alone.’ I used my best distressed voice and dramatically placed an arm on my forehead.

‘. You ugly b**ch! Are you deaf he wants you to stop.’

I stared at Vanessa, ‘ was I talking to you? I don’t remember your name to be Brian.’

‘Ooh Jinny I didn’t know you can act like a teacher.’

‘Yes and you still act like an immature 3 year old girl always on a tantrum.’ I smiled pleasantly, my eyes icy. Vanessa shut up and Brian even giggled a little but you’d have to be looking at him to notice.

‘Just please come with me this Saturday, just one date!!’

‘Jinny a no is a no!’ And he left. Oooojhh that boyyyyyy!!! As I’m about to chase after him and nag again, I feel a vibration in my coat pocket, I take my phone out and answered the call.

‘Hello.’

‘Ahh yes are you a family or friend of mr Bruner?’

‘Who is this?’

‘This is Sanditry Hospital Mr Bruner was in a car accident.’ My phone fell out of my hands, my body stood paralysed. As people pushed and barged past me even a few calling me names but all that was going through my head was: father. Hospital. Car crash!!

My feet could barley move stabd but I ran, I ran faster than my heart beat. Tears flew past my face and disappeared in the wind. Hospital? Hospital? Hospital! It almost sounded foreign, like something impossible just happened.

My brain buzzed and wizzed through memories, ideas, what ifs. All in a mater of a few seconds my whole life was scripted through my mind.

Arriving at the hospital everything almost felt surreal until I saw him. His body laying on the bed trolley. A mask covering his face and sorts of pipes and tubes tangled everywhere.

A doctor came, ‘he has a 2 Brocken ribs which is very lucky in his case, and his head has suffered little blood loss. Do brain tumours run in the family?’

What! ‘No.’

‘Your father has a brain tumour he will only be able to live for two more years, I’m sorry.’ My knees shook but my top half was paralysed. Tumour? Tumour! How can that even be used right now? How is that a word? Why is it a thing? Life felt like it was tumbling down hill.

Suddenly mother ran into the room, she was carrying shopping bags and was heaving heavily. Her bags dropped. Her hands reached to her face and she began to cry, her knees crashed into the floor but mother showed no sign of care. She looked up.

‘Mother he- he has a- a brain tumour!’ Tears ran down my face, I began to weap. Mother froze up she looked at the doctor from the floor.

‘He only has 2 years left.’

‘No no no no no no no, how, he was fine, I’m sure he was, ju-’ she began to cry. Suddenly I heard her scream and I wailed as well. It was painful, like my heart was to collapse no like I was going to die, no the feeling was indescribable, a pain that you could never get physically.

Ripping my fingered off would have been better.

For the day both of us hugged each other and just cried. Our eyes heart and voices crocked but we cried until no more tears were left to cry out.

As a kid my dad was the most supportive of my decisions. When I told them I wanted to be a psychologist instead of working for the family business ( a coffee shop) he cheered me on and made me the happiest. Whenever I was little and fell down to make me happier he would tell me little funny stories of when he was young. He was just an amazing father.

I could barely wake up the next day at schools. Moving around was hard like blocks of ice stuck on my feet. I hadn’t any energy to even try and talk to Brian, which he clearly looked happy about. All I could really think about was my father that my ears blocked out everything.

‘Jinny, jinny, jinny!’

‘Yes Mrs!’

‘Go stand outside I want to talk to you.’ My legs moved automatically but my brain was completely somewhere else. I stood outside life was completely drained out of me. Without any knowledge I began to walk further down the corridor, I was a complete zombie.

Suddenly I fell and I snapped out of my trance. My bottom hurt, I looked up, a handsome guy stood in front of me his hand was reached out towards me.

‘Sorry, here I’ll help you up.’ I was dazed he’s doing what? I had never had anyone be so nice to me.

‘Oh thank you, erm, I’m sorry I was just deep in thought, wait where am I?’ I looked around suddenly,

‘Jinny Burner where on earth do you think your going get back here right now!’

‘ oh god, I’m sorry I gotta go!’ I ran back to the teacher, she was so furious.

‘All day you have been out, not listening, not learning, not talking, I think you should go home and have a rest.’ I was shocked this was the first time my teacher was so nice to me.

I went inside and went to grab my stuff everyone was staring at me, I felt awkward. And when I looked up Brian looked weird actually so did everyone. As I was going out a girl, she was usually shy and quiet in the side classroom I didn’t even know her name, she grabbed my hand and gave me a pitious look and then let go.

I felt much worse.

At the hospital I tucked father under a blanket.

During the course of a afternoon I have managed to, read him my books, tell him funny stories and jokes, draw his face, sing to him and (like I was doing) tucking him in so that I could tell him about my day at school.

As i was ready to tell him about school, someone knocked on the door. I opened it and recognised a girl, the one who held my hand and made a pitiful face that morning when I was told to go home and take a break.

She was holding flowers, she was still wearing her uniform, her black hair cascaded down to her knees. She also had freckles which looked cute on her.

‘Here I thought this might cheer the atmosphere up a little.’ She handed me the flowers and I invited her inside the room. I took out a chair and handed it to her whereas I went and took the other chair that I had sat on previously.

We just sat there, nothing to say, until I broke the silence, ‘so how’d you know that my dad was here?’

‘Our whole class knows, the teacher found out this morning, that’s why everyone has been lighter on you than usual. Our class may seem like brutes but I don’t think anyone wants anyone to deal with something that your currently dealing with yourself.’

As I listened to her words, I guess she was right, no one really wishes such horrible fate for someone else unless they truely despise each other but, the class were merely just a bunch of bullies. I nodded, she had a point.

‘Er, Jinny, I know this is pathetic and all but I’d really like to be.... your friend- and before you refuse me, I have liked you for a while, you never cared what others thought about you. I could never be so brave that’s why before I was not confident enough to say this to you, but now I think I could be worthy enough to be your friend!’ Determination gleamed in her pupils.

I patted her shoulder, ‘do you have any money on you?’

‘I think a tenna.’

‘Let’s go shopping, right now.’ I lifted her hand and pulled her off the chair, I kissed my father on the cheek and pulled her out to town.

We had a wonderful time Rachael ( that’s her name ) and I went bought cotton candy, bought some nice clothes and generally enjoyed time together, as friends. As we parted ways we gave each other our contact info and said that we should text once we were home.

Walking back I felt a smile on my face, my very first friend. Although this could be some stupid stunt pulled by my class I wanted to at least make full use of it before I find out that it may in fact be fake, or even just a dream.

On Friday (the next day) when I returned to school Rachael was there standing in front of the gates waiting.

‘Hi, you waiting for anyone?’

‘Yep, waiting for you!’ She smiled brightly, I felt myself smile back. We went inside our class, I went up to Brian and gave him a flirtatious smile then winked.

‘What on earth are you doing.’

‘I just cannot believe that you have not been swayed by my amazing flirtatious skills!’ I laughed and went to my desk. I looked at Rachael and we both laughed together.

Break came around, both me and Rachael went to the benches and began eating our food.

‘Why are you so interested in Brian, you know he doesn’t like you, quite frankly he’s.... way out of your league.’

I nodded, ‘Yes well he’s just a puppet for an experiment that I’m trying out.’

‘What kind?’

‘If love is what you see or feel, does it depend on how you look or how you act?’

‘Well shouldn’t it be obvious, it depends on how you act, no one will stay with a handsome but selfish a-hole for very long will they?’

‘Yes but look at our modern society, does it look like much matters when you look like a complete plastic oven?’

‘I see your point.’ She nodded and took a bite out of her food.

‘Oh so I’m just a toy, you don’t have any feelings for me?’ Brian had come out of the bushes he had heard our conversation. Sh*t!!

‘Eavesdropping is so stupid, are you that obsessed with me that you have begun to stalk me?’ Brian turned red. Gottcha!

‘Whatever, I wanna see you try charming me with you flirting skills, remember When you asked me out, well I agree!’

My eyes widen, ‘What!??’

‘I agree, let’s go on a date tomorrow 5pm on Felixstowe Beach!’ With that he walked off.

‘What point is he trying to make?’

‘I don’t know Rachael, I really don’t know.’ I put down my sandwich on my lunch box. What on earth is he doing? What point is he trying to make? Maybe he has a crush on me? 😂

Saturday 4:30 and I was already at Felixstowe, picking out my clothes didn’t take much effort I just grabbed the newest ones from my shopping trip with Rachael. I wasn’t really trying to impress him with my looks, tbh that was the whole point.

I wondered around I had bought myself some cotton candy and was sitting on the blanket that I had to put down with rocks since it couldn’t stop moving with the wind. My feet touched the water.

‘This is all you got?’ I turned round, Brian was standing behind me, and oh lord he looked smoking!! God forgive me but he looked so good I wanted to touch him.

‘Stop drooling, it doesn’t make you look good.’ I wipped my drool and watched him sit down next to me.

‘I- I’ll go buy some ice cream, what flavour would you like?’

‘I don’t like ice cream!’

‘Any treats then? Cotton candy? A lolly pop? Maybe something savoury like fish and chips?’

‘No.’ I walked in front of him and I could see a smug smile on his face. Oh you think you have got me figured out? Huh we will see.

‘Fine.’ And I walked away. I over heard not long ago that he liked eating tomato-flavoured crisps.

I came over with a huge pack and ate them in front of him.

‘These are so good, yum.’ His eyes darted at my crisps, ohhhh he sooo wanted them. I grabbed a hand full.

‘I’m going to the bathroom look after them will ya?’ And I went, but instead of the bathroom I hid behind a wall and spied on him. I even got my phone out to record him.

He looked both ways and behind him, thinking it was safe he slid his hand inside the packet and quickly shoved a hand full into his mouth.

Once he had finished chomping the first handful of crisps, I walked back to him, ‘Oh okay thx for looking ...’ I look inside the packet and somehow, nothing was left inside. Exactly how big of a handful did he take? How big is his mouth!?

‘Your such a sneak, look at you so damn smug!’ I took out my phone and showed him the video of him stealing my crisps. He turned red , busted! His face was so freaking scared I couldn’t stop myself.

‘Hahahahahahaha, oh man! Your so damn funny, your face is never a disappointment!!! Hahahahahaha, your expression .... ha priceless!’ I smiled widely. ‘Come on let’s do something fun then, I am supposed to make you fall in love with me right?’

He nodded, face still red. At Felixstowe beach you can’t find many couply stuff to do, a few times had I seen rollercoasters to play on but those were more for special occasions.

‘Oh look over there, a haunted house? Wonder when they put that there.’ I pulled him inside. It wasn’t scary, not that scary. They did put quite a few jump scares that, well, made me jump back to Brian’s side.

Brian looked fine, actually he seemed to not get scared at all. Ugh not fair! Ooop! I had an idea.

On the next jumps scare I screamed then jum to his side and hugged him.

‘Flippin’ hell im so scared please help me!’

‘Jinny what are you doing?’

What?! I heard Brians voice far away not close by like I was hugging him. I looked up, I was hugging a damn zombie!??

‘Ahhhhhhh! Oh hell no! My heart, that was...’

‘Hahahahaha Oh sh*t did you think that was me?!?!? Hahahahaha oh f*ck!’ Brian was laughing, like a real laugh. I had never seen him in that way, he looked decent, like, real not what he’s like at school, this special angel thing. He looked human!

‘What’s that face?’

‘Oh.... it’s just I never heard you... nevermind.’ Jinny a haunted house is not the right scene to have this romantic moment where maybe I fall in love with him!!

We finally get out of the house, and I realised Brian was finally actually enjoying this. His face was lit up, nothing like the face he had at the beginning.

‘Alright you want to go anywhere?’

‘No.’ He went back to his indifferent self again.

‘Okaaayyy, then let’s just talk, I’ll start. My favourite ice cream flavour is chocolate mint, my favourite food is chocolate, my favourite movie is ‘50 dates’, my favourite series is ‘Sherlock Holmes’, what u want to do in the future is help the psychology ill.’

I looked at him, he seemed so uninterested. Actually he was walking in front of me, his back my way. I ran round in front of him, facing him, my arms were outstretched. Regardless if I were to walk backwards he didn’t stop moving.

‘I don’t care if you don’t like me, I don’t care if you hate me, but for bloody hell could you at least try and have fun? I’m trying so hard for you to enjoy this and for me to enjoy this as well, and your just moping aboutnit helping! Oh could you for just one- ahhhh.’ I tripped on a rock and slowly fell backwards.

A hand was grasped along my waist and a leg was held underneath me. Our eyes met and we were frozen, in the beautiful sunset beach, the waves ascending and descending, the wind blowing my hair. My heart felt irregular and my stomach felt fuzzy.

He pulled me towards him, he still had his hand around my waist, but at this point I was standing, my hand met his chest but our eyes never left focus. What felt like a long while we finally broke out of our daydreamed trance.

‘Ahem, thx for saving me.’ I turned my face round so that he could see how flushed I was.

‘Yea well I don’t want your head to crack, oh look its 8pm we should go back home... bye.’ And he ran with a sprint away from me. I checked the time but it was only 7:35. Liar!