Hey.. Deekshana..

Why did you do that ?.. Just why ..

Why did you commit suicide?.. Is it just a joke to you ?..

I want to scold you, beat you, and what to ask .. Why didn't you talk to me about your problems..

I know we have been friends for 3 months . Still the connection between you and me is ... No words can describe that..

You have talked about hot boys.. And handsome boys.. We both love to watch BL.. You said You are waiting for Kinn porche season 2.. You said we will go to Thailand and explore Bl couples.. But why did you do that to me..

Now Here I am alone.. Writing this message for you.. Even though I know You don't read this.. You can't read this ...

Still .. I want to tell you that I love you ..

Maybe we both are girls.. Maybe I am not lesbian or bi.. I really love you..

I don't mean in a romantic way.. But I want to show you how beautiful this world is.. To you..

I am sorry..

I am really sorry..

I wanted to die .. I regret not checking on you..

I ..

I am sorry Deekshana ..

Do you think when you touch the rope before you die ?.. Did you ?

Now.. I am hearing your voice message.. Even though your laugh is like a horrible sound.. It feels like heaven Now.. You said you want a boyfriend and want to love him and lead a great life..

But now ..

It's okay

I will do that ...

I will do that for you

See the world you want to live in my eyes..

I will fulfill your wishes..

I am sure you are in heaven.. I will also come to you.. But Not now..

I am not going to give up like you..

So make sure to wait for me ...

I am going to tell you what the things that you missed in this world and how much I miss you ...

I am crying now.. But Not tomorrow... You will be with me right ...

I think you are already born in this world.. Maybe not here.. But somewhere..

Thank you..

Thank you for coming into my life..

Although we have been close friends for 3 months.. It likes 3 eternity to me.. I want to see you now.. But I know I can't..

But make sure to reach me in my next life.. We will talk about the things that I missed talking with you in this life..

I will get a beautiful and hot and handsome boyfriend and will make you jealous.. So see me living happily from up there..

Fall in love with an angel up there .. And introduce me if you can.. ( chuckles)

I miss you..

I love you..

Thank you ..

And I am sorry..

Let's meet again soon..

Wait for me.. My dear Friend....

I will reach you so make sure to tell me how is heaven up there... And tell me how the boys are there..

What am I feeling now.. Is it love ? Or infatuation, or lust, I don't know... it must be fate to see you... Oh my god .. Seriously.. I have been waiting for you in the busy stop.. wish to see you at least once... But unfortunately I haven't seen you... what the duck is this ... this is the first time I am feeling like this... my heart is beating like crazy .. It must be fate... Is this the first time I see you... or are you always there standing beside me...

Maybe I noticed you today... When you talk with that girl... is she your girlfriend ... Of course it's not right 💢 she must be your sister... Although you can't speak... I can hear your sweet voice when you talk to her .. If you really can't speak ... If you really can't talk.. I wish I will be your voice ... My 30 mins crush... I don't want to forgot you.. I don't want to see you again... I don't want to fall in love with you.. In my 23 years ... i have been locking myself in the hella strong room... you are the first one to make me blush and I have been smiling like a bish.. it's so good.. that I don't want to feel again...

So please don't come into my life... Please I beg you... But .. can't I see you for the last time... I want to see you now ... i don't know whatever this feeling is... Because I can't explain it in this simple words... Although I wrote a lot of love stories.. I can't explain this feeling... I think I am lost in your eyes... you are so cute.. Thank you for sighting me too... if possible let's meet again...I want to be your friend.. 💜

It's four times that I have seen you today... You are same height as me.. Don't tell me that you are younger than me ☹️ .. I am fine then tho.. But still please say that you are 22.

I was enchanted to meet you today I wish to meet you tomorrow too.. OMG 😰 I am not in my right mind.. Now I know why the people who are all fall in love are acting cringey 👀. I don't know why I am feeling this way. I just wanted to say all of these things to you. But I can't even say hi or bye when our eyes met. I avoided you I afraid of fall for you. For the first time I experience the meaning of sexual tension. When you stand back at me in the bus when your soft hand slightly touching my hand .. It's just heaven dude.. I don't know how I am going to come out from this guy.. You are completely possessed me. I don't want to be your lover. I don't want to be addicted to you. But still. If you talk to me first. If you make the first move. Maybe .. No I am already addicted to my First sight love..

Okay guys.. Today I saw a guy in the bus.. it's just 30 mins.. I didn't expect him to see for 4 times.. Even though we changed a lot of bus.. It must be a fate .. I just wanted to share these things to that guy.. I am single since birth so this is the first time I feel this way so I wanted to right these things in this mangatoon... He can't speak he is speaking to his sister in sign language..

Okay now what attracted me from him.

Answer : This voice...

Yes I didn't hear his voice. But I can feel when he talk to his sister.. His voice must be cool and cute..

Okay goodnight.. if you read this letter to my first love.. Just comment if you ever experience this thing in your life..