4 January 11:45

click click click

dear diary

you know something is really off with me since this morning . I am not able to sleep properly since i saw that dazzling smile that still lingers in my mind from the moment i met him.

you know i am a coffee person whose day starts with coffee and ends with the coffee and since my coffee was over and there was much pending work so i decided to head to the coffee cafe nearby. This work from home seems much easier so I took my keys and drove off. In between i saw a bookstore and despite me having a full cupboard of books i took 'forty ways to love ' with me and started to read it

Just as i begin there was a light tap on my shoulder and there was a guy standing there . he pointed that it was his seat as he kept his diary over the chair . I apologized and was prepared to leave when he invited me to sit on another chair ."so what is your name ?"i asked , "myself Atrau ", "well i am miara "

and from there we talked and talked . His talk seems that he is a photographer and had been to various places around the globe . "ah i forgot i was here for a cappuccino in the first place so i am going to order , do you want anything?", "ah i would like to have a mocha ." i frown "ok". our drinks arrived as i asked him "what's there in the mocha its so sugary how can you drink something like that ", "ah , madam every thing has its fun and taste ", we talked about nature and life , i almost forgot for what was i here for in the first place . Then he suddenly said " uh if you don't mind can i show you something "," hmm ok 👌" and then my heart almost stopped as if it was struck by lightning as he suddenly showed me his one photograph in which there was a girl looking like me but a little smiling . I was dazed as i thought that I could also look so beautiful .

"i am sorry for clicking without permission ", " its ok, it is so beautiful ", he laughed and said "it's the type of photographs i personally like as people don't appreciate the beauty within them.

And at that time I realized that there is something different about him and unknowingly there was a tint of pink on my ears and cheeks .

i suddenly asked "can we date ?" , "no Maira we can't but yes we can always remember this meeting as a sweet memory in our hearts right" . That was the time when my heart pained as if it was squeezed by some unknown power but i steeled myself and said smiling " of course".

And from then to now i unknowingly shed tears for a guy that is known for only a few hours .

you see diary its life in which people come and go just like wind but for me it was great to meet someone on my journey of life from whom i gave my heart but the saddening truth was rejection . but yes I am confident enough that i will meet my better half in the future .

bye diary .

31 December 2000 ,12:35 PM

dear diary

you know despite being a guy sometimes i think that being a girl is better . we want to be pampered , cared and loved . But then I think about my wife (ha ha) . You know she changed my perspective that girls are more pampered and given choices to choose as they wished . Ah by the way how can i forget the overwhelming encounter with her on a train.

There i was sitting on my seat and then she came . Her shiny black hair tied back in a bun , her fierce but at the same time deep eyes , her calm face . This was it , my heart was beating loudly , i don't know why but i was feeling butterflies all over my gut . She was talking to someone on a call .

"yaa yaa , i came , hmm yes yes i will call you on when i reach the station " with a irritated expression but with patient voice she answered while staring at me . I was deliberately was turning my face towards the window to avoid any misunderstanding. She cut her call and sighed heavily.

Then facing she said "hi , myself Samayra and you?" , "i am Raghav, you seem to be irritated ,sorry if am crossing my line "

"its ok bro , its not like that but only my fiancee was calling and checking on me " , ouch my heart suddenly felt heavy and my love life instead of starting ended as soon as it begin.

"ohh ", i said nonchalantly . Not even a minute is passed and there her phone rings : buzz buzz :

"yes , hello how are you , ah yes i will , i am still on the train , ok i will tell you bye " , "your fiance ?"

"ahh yes "said her embarrassingly . And then she would turn her face towards the window and stare outside and i still remember that by doing so she intended to hide her tears that were still glistening her eyes .

From time to time her phone would ring seeming to irritate her more and more and i was watching her the whole time feeling a little pain in my heart about her .

Then i said "you should stop this you know if i was you then i would tell him to stop disturbing me like this , even if he is concerned he should not disturb you this much . She remained silent staring at me the whole time. i continued " you should tell your parents about it if you don't like him "

"i told them but they say he is perfect for me and i should spend some more time with him "

I was angered and said "you should have guts to say its your right to oppose to some thing you don't like "

She remained silent and turned towards the window and here i was giving someone the advise as parent to its child . I didn't knew her but there was something , a feeling in me that gave me strength . I still was knowing that what was that magic that made me care about a girl whom i did ' n t even knew a few hours ago. I was facing her back all the time as she stared through the window . And then when i looked intently to find her staring at me probably judging my facial reactions.

I turned back to my seat and then the train stopping horn buzzed and it was the time to say goodbye to her . I was feeling sad and reluctance but despite that i said all the best to her and decided to accompany her to her taxi .

She said goodbye and boarded the taxi . I was in a state of crying but unexpectedly the taxi stopped a meter from me. I ran to it asking if anything happened but she silently offboarded the taxi as the taxi drove off from there . As there was only silence between us she suddenly said to me "Even you don't have guts to say that you love me huh, you are literally crying now you know " and then i realized my eyes are wet . Even i was surprised and then said "so like to spend your life with me " She smiled and said " of course my king " And that is how i met my queen and my better half'

2 years later from the time i met her we got married after the long persuasion period with her parents and we are happy

bye diary .

1 April 2015 9:00 PM

dear diary

Sometimes we realize some things very late and when we do that it is already very late to make changes . And that was what i did with myself . You want to know then let me tell you .

I was still a 24 year old intern searching for a good company . My parents started pressuring me to marry and i told them that i am not ready to take responsibility and a big step like marriage .

I took a vacation and decided to make a trip on my bike alone to a tourist place so i travelled to Ladakh . It was good and i returned . One day as i was browsing my phone an ad came of a matrimonial site . I made up my mind to give it a try so i made my profile . And in a few hours i got a request from a girl named Geetika . I accepted of course . Then we started to chat and from there we became close call friends . This friendship goes on for a year until one day. I plan to surprise her by going to her home town to meet her face to face .

The next day I went to a restaurant near her house and called her to come there and next she came and hugged me tightly . I was very happy as her . We go on a ride on my bike to the mountain roads.

We rest and go to trek a little in the woods of the mountain forest . Suddenly she stops and turn towards me and say "ravi , umm i want to say that i have fallen in love with you" shocked from a sudden confession i hesitatingly say " umm geetika I _I can't at least not now but we can...." before i could continue she kissed me . I was speechless at first but somehow i don't know why but i also kissed her back . It was like we were attracted towards each other unknowingly and no one wants to part with each other . But in my mind i was questioning myself "Can I take a big responsibility like a special bond of life like marriage . I was confused.

At last we parted to breathe in the air . We were panting and she said "It's ok i will wait but please don't let me wait for a long time" I smiled and nodded .

We talked at least 2 times everyday . There was not a thing that i kept a secret from her .One day she say to me "Ravi , my parents are really forcing me to marry " "i can't geetika please try to understand that i am not able to take a responsibility like marriage and besides i have to settle in my job first " yes i got my job at a good company in these years only but due to this the 2 times we use to talk everyday got converted to 2 times in a week . This gradually caused us to lose our normal conversation time and with time we became a little distant .

"you always say this only and what you do is just talking with that colleague of yours" ,"hey are you jealous ", "you can say it whatever you want to say but please tell me your decision fast . "no geetika i can't sorry and please don't disturb me for these types of talks i am busy . "fine Ravi i will not call you ever again now goodbye. 'TUT TUT'

And the call was cut . i was so angry at her behavior so i decided not to call her . From then 3 months go on like this and we haven't contacted each other in these months. One day i thought about going to her hometown to meet her so I called her .

I was planning to propose to her as i finally settled my mind . As the call connected her calm voice came over "Hi Ravi how are you" , " I am fine . hey can we marry now " there was a dead silence on the line but she broke it and said " Ravi i am in my 2nd month of my pregnancy and i have been married since last 3 months ." Now the news that shocked me made me a little dizzy .

"Ohh ok take care i will call you later " and i cut the call .I go back to my house thinking that what should have happened if I have been a little faster in making my decision or i would have kept my ego at a side and accepted her feelings .

But regret is the best way of punishment . We also talk from time to time and her child is also very cute. Now she has been married and here i am still a hopeless single

Bye diary