I feel sad when i think about it that evertime i find someone to be close to i lose that person evertime i have Somoane to hug i lose that person that's why people would decided to be cold and to let nobady come close but when i act cold they think i just do that to be cool why nobady understand not even close people not even person i saw as a mother nobady understand why .....when they ask Why what would i say beacues they never understand when i try to hear there Pain i say your "stupid " to let such a thing to Hurt u like love

......i don't know how it feels to be hugged From your family i don't even reamber when was the last time they hugged me maybe yes they did only for a pic haha wonderful they want us too look like perfect family but first let your kids know what are Real parents schould be and not fake one haha i'm not saying i'm perfect beacues I'M not i lie i'm not good person but why telling me to Stop beacues I'M Happy to live as a fake person beacues reality Hurt to much but i have to Faced i'm a disgusting person but the people that maked me so they never said sorry for all the Pain i feels i don't listing anymore to people pain or anything about that me Pain is all to much .... i'm always with smile that's a thing what everyone see but they never saw me Tears me Pain they never see the good things i do they always see. The mistakes they say your stupid can u be not like your big brother .... i'm stupid i'm Ugly in the inside beacues i have so MUCH hate in my heart to people for me i see people as monsters Angeles From outside and Devils from the inside people are like monsters...am not even scacred of Real monsters i'm more SCARED of the monsters in the Human hmmmmm how can i still be happy if i can even not do what i want how can i look at people Eyes i'm disgusting i'm not the only one that is thinking so there some of me old friends who thinks so haha good i'm not the only one ...do u know why i have fantasie brain beacues i hate Reality i hate life evertime i see a happy person that always laughing i feel sad angry jealous i feel many emoties..but i don't want to feel i want to kill me emoties to kill it all i don't want to smile if it's Real or fake one i don't want to live even in that fake World i hate people i hate them i Hate them more then myself... i'm döne caring for others

I feel bad i don't even know who love my and who don't one day they show me Love the other day not something i don't feel like i'm there friend IDK what schould i say they say they love my but why do i not feel that love. ... I never feels anyone love beacues nobady really love me i try to be funny happy but i could i'm crying now and it's so stupid of me but i can't do anything about it nobady understand my pain i feel bad disgusting udk why i feel like i want to cry and Scream but i can't do that either BEACUSE i hate when someone see my Cry or sad i hate myself when i cry i hate it that i can't hide my Tears i hate it when i'm a crybaby yes a crybaby i hate it i wanna cry but i hate it i hate the world sometimes i hate myself i hate EVERYONE i hate EVERTING in the world why do nobady understand what i feel why do they ughh never i feels close to anyone nobady is close with my and the people that even say we love you are not close to my or they not let me feel it why don't you let my see the love u have for my why can't i see it i hate it when i even don't know what to say i hate it when people say they love my but they really don't they even don't want to follow my they even did INVITE my to a private gc were all there friends are there they never did or asked do you want a hug i hate so many things i hate that i can't have all attention that i want i want attention in mt beacues i never got it in Real life maybe that why i'm so liar and so big big liar and a disgusting person i hate hate hate EVERTING i want somoane to give me attention i want that someone who love my how i i'm i'm not good not pretty i'm nothing but a disgusting person yes disgusting why do i feel so disgusting why i'm disgusting why is it beacues i lie to much but if i did't lie then i can't live me one dad Going to murder my önce my one dad yes me blood dad önce i'm going be dead Maybe beacues i killed myself or beacues me dad yes that's i'm bad person idk what schould i say more but now i feel many Pain today i cried two times or more maybe haha i'm crybaby bad person i i'm yes bad bad bad bad bad bad disgusting disgusting liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar