那年晚夏，我们住在乡村一幢房子里，望得见隔着河流和平原的那些高山。河床里有鹅卵石和大圆石头，在阳光下又干又白，河水清澈，河流湍急，深处一泓蔚蓝。部队打从房子边走上大路，激起尘土，洒落在树叶上，连树干上也积满了尘埃。那年树叶早落，我们看着部队在路上开着走，尘土飞扬，树叶给微风吹得往下纷纷掉坠，士兵们开过之后，路上白晃晃，空空荡荡，只剩下一片落叶。

平原上有丰饶的庄稼；有许许多多的果树园，而平原外的山峦，则是一片光秃秃的褐色。山峰间正在打仗，夜里我们看得见战炮的闪光。在黑暗中，这情况真像夏天的闪电，只是夜里阴凉，可没有夏天风雨欲来前的那种闷热。

有时在黑暗中，我们听得见部队从窗下走过的声响，还有摩托牵引车拖着大炮经过的响声。夜里交通频繁，路上有许多驮着弹药箱的驴子，运送士兵的灰色卡车，还有一种卡车，装的东西用帆布盖住，开起来缓慢一点。白天也有用牵引车拖着走的重炮，长炮管用青翠的树枝遮住，牵引车本身也盖上青翠多叶的树枝和葡萄藤。朝北我们望得见山谷后边有一座栗树树林，林子后边，在河的这一边，另有一道高山。那座山峰也有争夺战，不过不顺手，而当秋天一到，秋雨连绵，栗树上的叶子都掉了下来，就只剩下赤裸裸的树枝和被雨打成黑黝黝的树干。葡萄园中的枝叶也很稀疏光秃；乡间样样东西都是湿漉漉的，都是褐色的，触目秋意萧索。河上罩雾，山间盘云，卡车在路上溅泥浆，士兵披肩淋湿，身上尽是烂泥；他们的来福枪也是湿的，每人身前的皮带上挂有两个灰皮子弹盒，里面满装着一排排又长又窄的六点五毫米口径的子弹，在披肩下高高突出，当他们在路上走过时，乍一看，好像是些怀孕六月的妇人。

路上时有灰色小汽车疾驰而过，驾驶员座位边每每有一位军官，车子的后座上还坐着几位军官。这些小汽车溅泥泼水，比军用大卡车还要厉害。如果车子后座上有一个小个子，坐在两位将军中间，矮小得连脸都看不见，只看得见他的军帽顶和他那细窄的背影，而且车子又开得特别快的话，那么那小个子可能就是国王。他住在乌迪内①，几乎天天这样子来视察战况，无奈战况不佳。

冬季一开始，雨便下个不停，而霍乱也跟着雨来了。瘟疫得到了控制，结果部队里只死了七千人。

① 乌迪内在意大利东北部，当时意军的总司令部所在地。

In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in a village that looked across the river and the plain to the mountains. In the bed of the river there were pebbles and boulders, dry and white in the sun, and the water was clear and swiftly moving and blue in the channels. Troops went by the house and down the road and the dust they raised powdered the leaves of the trees. The trunks of the trees too were dusty and the leaves fell early that year and we saw the troops marching along the road and the dust rising and leaves, stirred by the breeze, falling and the soldiers marching and afterward the road bare and white except for the leaves. The plain was rich with crops; there were many orchards of fruit trees and beyond the plain the mountains were brown and bare. There was fighting in the mountains and at night we could see the flashes from the artillery. In the dark it was like summer lightning, but the nights were cool and there was not the feeling of a storm coming. Sometimes in the dark we heard the troops marching under the window and guns going past pulled by motor-tractors. There was much traffic at night and many mules on the roads with boxes of ammunition on each side of their pack-saddles and gray motor trucks that carried men, and other trucks with loads covered with canvas that moved slower in the traffic. There were big guns too that passed in the day drawn by tractors, the long barrels of the guns covered with green branches and green leafy branches and vines laid over the tractors. To the north we could look across a valley and see a forest of chestnut trees and behind it another mountain on this side of the river. There was fighting for that mountain too, but it was not successful, and in the fall when the rains came the leaves all fell from the chestnut trees and the branches were bare and the trunks black with rain. The vineyards were thin and bare-branched too and all the country wet and brown and dead with the autumn. There were mists over the river and clouds on the mountain and the trucks splashed mud on the road and the troops were muddy and wet in their capes; their rifles were wet and under their capes the two leather cartridge-boxes on the front of the belts, gray leather boxes heavy with the packs of clips of thin, long 6.5 mm. cartridges, bulged forward under the capes so that the men, passing on the road, marched as though they were six months gone with child. There were small gray motor cars that passed going very fast; usually there was an officer on the seat with the driver and more officers in the back seat. They splashed more mud than the camions even and if one of the officers in the back was very small and sitting between two generals, he himself so small that you could not see his face but only the top of his cap and his narrow back, and if the car went especially fast it was probably the King. He lived in Udine and came out in this way nearly every day to see how things were going, and things went very badly. At the start of the winter came the permanent rain and with the rain came the cholera. But it was checked and in the end only seven thousand died of it in the army.

第二年打了好几场胜仗。山谷后边那座高山和那个有栗树树林的山坡，已经给拿了下来，而南边平原外的高原上也打了胜仗，于是我们八月渡河，驻扎在哥里察②一幢房子里。这房屋有喷水池，有个砌有围墙的花园，园中栽种了好多茂盛多荫的树木，屋子旁边还有一棵紫藤，一片紫色。现在战争在好几道高山外进行，而不是近在一英里外了。小镇很好，我们的屋子也挺好。小镇后边是河，前边是些高山，高山还由奥军占据着。这小镇打下来时打得漂亮，奥军大概希望战后再回小镇来住，所以现在从山顶上开起炮来，除了小规模的军事例行行动以外，并不乱轰，这情况叫我心情愉快。镇上照常有人居住，有医院和咖啡店，有炮队驻扎在小街上，有两家妓院，一家招待士兵，一家招待军官，加上夏季已过，夜凉如水，战争又在镇外的丛山间进行。这儿有一座弹痕累累的铁路桥，有河边炸毁的地道——从前这儿争战过——有绕着广场周围的树木，而通向广场的路上，又有一长排一长排的树木；此外，镇上又有姑娘，而国王乘车经过时，有时可以看到他的脸，他那长脖子的小身体，和他那一簇好像山羊髯一般的灰须；这一切，再加上镇上有些房屋，因被炮弹炸去一道墙壁，内部突然暴露，倒塌下来的泥灰碎石，堆积在花园里，有时还倒塌在街上，还有卡索①前线，一切顺利，凡此种种，使得今年秋天比起去年困居乡下的秋天，大不相同。况且战局也好转了。

小镇外高山上的橡树林，现在没有了。我们初到小镇时，正在夏日，树林青翠，但是现在已只剩有断桩残干，地面上则给炮弹炸得四分五裂。这一年秋末的一天，我正在原来有树林的地点徘徊，看见一块云朝山顶飞来。云块飞得好快，太阳转眼成为晦暗的黄色，祥样东西都变成灰的，天空已被乌云遮蔽住，接着云块落在山上，突然间落到我们身上，那时候才知道原来是雪。雪在风中横飞斜落，掩盖了赤裸的大地，只有树木的残干突了出来。大炮上也盖上了雪，而战壕后边通向便所去的雪地上，已有人走出了几条雪径。

后来我回到小镇。我跟一个朋友坐在军官妓院里，两只酒杯，一瓶阿斯蒂②，望着窗外下得又迟缓又沉重的大雪，我们知道今年战事是结束了。河上游那些高山，并没有攻打下来；河对面的峻岭，一座也没有打下来。那都得等到明年再说。我的朋友看见我们同饭堂的那个教士③小心地踏着半融的雪，打街上走过，于是便敲敲窗子，引起教士的注意，教士抬起头来。他看见是我们，笑了一笑。我的朋友招手叫他进来。他摇摇头，走了。那天夜晚，在饭堂里吃到实心面这一道菜，人人吃得又快又认真，用叉子高高卷起面条，等到零星的面条都离开了盘子才朝下往嘴里送，不然便是不住地叉起面条用嘴巴吮，吃面的时候，我们还从用干草盖好的加仑大酒瓶里斟酒喝；酒瓶就挂在一个铁架子上，你用食指一扳下酒瓶的脖子，又清又红的带单宁酸味的美酒便流进你用同一只手所拿的杯子里。大家吃完面后，上尉便找教士开玩笑取乐。

② 哥里察在意奥边境上，大战前原属奥匈帝国，1916 年8 月被意军攻克。

① 卡索高原在意大利东北部，1917 年发生重要战役。哥里察就在卡索高原上。

② 阿斯蒂原是意大利西北部古城名，这里指那地方出产的白葡萄酒。

③ 教士亦可译为神父。

教士年纪轻，脸嫩容易红，穿的制服跟我们大家一样，只是他那灰制服胸前左面袋子上，多了一个深红色丝绒缝成的十字架。上尉据说是照顾我，叫我完全听得明白，免得有什么遗漏，所以故意说着不纯粹的意大利语。

“教士今天玩姑娘，”上尉说，眼睛看着教士和我，教士笑一笑，脸孔泛红，摇摇头。这上尉时常逗他。

“你否认？我今天亲眼看见的，”上尉说。

“没有这回事，”教士说。别的军官都觉得逗得很有趣。

“教士不玩姑娘，”上尉说下去道，“教士从来没跟姑娘来过。”他这样解释给我听。他给我倒了一杯酒，说话时眼睛一直看着我的面孔，不过眼角总在瞄着教士。

“教士每天夜晚五个姑娘。”饭桌上的人都笑了起来。“你懂吗？教士每天晚上五对一。”他做个手势，纵声大笑。教士一声不吭，当它是笑话。“教皇希望奥军打胜仗，”少校说。“他爱的就是法兰兹·约瑟夫①。教皇的钱就是敌人捐献的。我是个无神论者。”

“你看过《黑猪猡》那部书吗？”中尉问我。“我给你找一本来。那书动摇了我的信仰。”

“那是一部卑鄙龌龊的书，”教士说。“你不会当真喜欢它的。”“是部很有价值的书，”中尉说。“它把教士所有的黑幕都拆穿了。你一定喜欢它，”他对我说。我向教士笑笑，而教士在烛光下也对我笑笑。“你可别看它，”他说。

“我给你找一部来，”中尉说。

“有思想的人都是无神论者，”少校说。“不过我也不相信什么共济会②。”

“我可相信共济会，”中尉说。“那是个高尚的组织。”有人进来了，门打开时，我看得见外面在下雪。

“雪一下就不会再有进攻了，”我说。

“当然没有啦，”少校说。“你应当休假玩一玩。你应当到罗马，那不勒斯，西西里——”

“他应当到阿马斐去，”中尉说。“我给你写些介绍卡，去找我家里的人。他们一定会把你当亲儿子看待。”

“他应该到巴勒摩去。”“他得到卡普里去。”

“我希望你去观光阿布鲁息①，探望一下我在卡勃拉柯达的家属，”教士说。

“听啊，他连阿布鲁息都提出来啦。那儿的雪比这儿还要大。他又不是想看农民。让他到文化和文明的中心地去吧。”

“他应当玩玩好姐儿。我给你开一些那不勒斯的地址。美丽年轻的姐儿——由做母亲的陪着。哈！哈！哈！”上尉摊开全部手指，拇指向上，其他手指展开着，好像是在灯光下在墙上演手影戏似的。现在墙上有了他的手影。他又用不纯粹的意大利语讲话了。“你去的时候像这个，”他指着拇指，“回来时像这个，”他指着小指，人人大笑。

① 法兰兹·约瑟夫是当时奥匈帝国的皇帝。教皇指天主教教皇，当时奥国贵族多信奉天主教。

② 共济会是一种秘密团体，最初可能是中世纪石匠间的一种互相救济的组织。天主教严禁教友参加这种组织。

① 阿布鲁息为意大利中东部一古地区名。

“看啊，”上尉说。他又摊开手。烛光又把他的手影打在墙上。他开始从拇指数起，按着指头，逐一喊出它们的名字，“‘索多—田兰’（拇指），‘田兰’（食指），‘甲必丹诺’（中指），‘马佐’（无名指），‘田兰—科涅罗’（小指）。②你去的时候索多—田兰！回来时田兰—科涅罗！”大家大笑。上尉的指戏很成功。他看着教士嚷道：“每天晚上教士五对一！”大家又是一场大笑。

“你应该立刻就休假，”少校说。

“我倒希望可以陪你一道去，做个向导，”中尉说。

“回来时带台留声机来吧。”

“还要带好的歌剧唱片。”

“带卡鲁索③的唱片。”

“不要他的。他乱叫乱嚷。”

“你巴不得能像他那么演唱吧？”

“他乱叫乱嚷。我还是说他乱叫乱嚷！”

“我希望你到阿布鲁息去，”教士说。其他人还在大声争吵。“那儿打猎最好。那儿的人你一定喜欢，气候虽然寒冷，倒是清爽干燥。你可以上我家里去住。家父是个有名的猎手。”“走吧，”上尉说。“我们趁早逛窑子去，否则又要碰上人家关门了。”“晚安，”我对教士说。

“晚安，”他说。

② 他是用意大利语讲这些军衔的：“索多—田兰”是少尉，“田兰”是中尉，“甲必丹诺”是上尉，“马佐”是少校，“田兰—科涅罗”是中校。

③卡鲁索（1873—1921）：意大利著名男高音歌唱家。

The next year there were many victories. The mountain that was beyond the valley and the hillside where the chestnut forest grew was captured and there were victories beyond the plain on the plateau to the south and we crossed the river in August and lived in a house in Gorizia that had a fountain and many thick shady trees in a walled garden and a wistaria vine purple on the side of the house. Now the fighting was in the next mountains beyond and was not a mile away. The town was very nice and our house was very fine. The river ran behind us and the town had been captured very handsomely but the mountains beyond it could not be taken and I was very glad the Austrians seemed to want to come back to the town some time, if the war should end, because they did not bombard it to destroy it but only a little in a military way. People lived on in it and there were hospitals and cafe and artillery up side streets and two bawdy houses, one for troops and one for officers, and with the end of the summer, the cool nights, the fighting in the mountains beyond the town, the shell-marked iron of the railway bridge, the smashed tunnel by the river where the fighting had been, the trees around the square and the long avenue of trees that led to the square; these with there being girls in the town, the King passing in his motor car, sometimes now seeing his face and little long necked body and gray beard like a goat's chin tuft; all these with the sudden interiors of houses that had lost a wall through shelling, with plaster and rubble in their gardens and sometimes in the street, and the whole thing going well on the Carso made the fall very different from the last fall when we had been in the country. The war was changed too.

The forest of oak trees on the mountain beyond the town was gone. The forest had been green in the summer when we had come into the town but now there were the stumps and the broken trunks and the ground torn up, and one day at the end of the fall when I was out where the oak forest had been I saw a cloud coming over the mountain. It came very fast and the sun went a dull yellow and then everything was gray and the sky was covered and the cloud came on down the mountain and suddenly we were in it and it was snow. The snow slanted across the wind, the bare ground was covered, the stumps of trees projected, there was snow on the guns and there were paths in the snow going back to the latrines behind trenches.

Later, below in the town, I watched the snow falling, looking out of the window of the bawdy house, the house for officers, where I sat with a friend and two glasses drinking a bottle of Asti, and, looking out at the snow falling slowly and heavily, we knew it was all over for that year. Up the river the mountains had not been taken; none of the mountains beyond the river had been taken. That was all left for next year. My friend saw the priest from our mess going by in the street, walking carefully in the slush, and pounded on the window to attract his attention. The priest looked up. He saw us and smiled. My friend motioned for him to come in. The priest shook his head and went on. That night in the mess after the spaghetti course, which every one ate very quickly and seriously, lifting the spaghetti on the fork until the loose strands hung clear then lowering it into the mouth, or else using a continuous lift and sucking into the mouth, helping ourselves to wine from the grass-covered gallon flask; it swung in a metal cradle and you pulled the neck of the flask down with the forefinger and the wine, clear red, tannic and lovely, poured out into the glass held with the same hand; after this course, the captain commenced picking on the priest.

The priest was young and blushed easily and wore a uniform like the rest of us but with a cross in dark red velvet above the left breast pocket of his gray tunic. The captain spoke pidgin Italian for my doubtful benefit, in order that I might understand perfectly, that nothing should be lost.

"Priest to-day with girls," the captain said looking at the priest and at me. The priest smiled and blushed and shook his head. This captain baited him often.

"Not true?" asked the captain. "To-day I see priest with girls."

"No," said the priest. The other officers were amused at the baiting.

"Priest not with girls," went on the captain. "Priest never with girls," he explained to me. He took my glass and filled it, looking at my eyes all the time, but not losing sight of the priest.

"Priest every night five against one." Every one at the table laughed. "You understand? Priest every night five against one." He made a gesture and laughed loudly. The priest accepted it as a joke.

"The Pope wants the Austrians to win the war," the major said. "He loves Franz Joseph. That's where the money comes from. I am an atheist."

"Did you ever read the 'Black Pig'?" asked the lieutenant. "I will get you a copy. It was that which shook my faith."

"It is a filthy and vile book," said the priest. "You do not really like it."

"It is very valuable," said the lieutenant. "It tells you about those priests. You will like it," he said to me. I smiled at the priest and he smiled back across the candle-light. "Don't you read it," he said.

"I will get it for you," said the lieutenant.

"All thinking men are atheists," the major said. "I do not believe in the Free Masons however."

"I believe in the Free Masons," the lieutenant said. "It is a noble organization." Some one came in and as the door opened I could see the snow falling.

"There will be no more offensive now that the snow has come," I said.

"Certainly not," said the major. "You should go on leave. You should go to Rome, Naples, Sicily--"

"He should visit Amalfi," said the lieutenant. "I will write you cards to my family in Amalfi. They will love you like a son."

"He should go to Palermo."

"He ought to go to Capri."

"I would like you to see Abruzzi and visit my family at Capracotta," said the priest.

"Listen to him talk about the Abruzzi. There's more snow there than here. He doesn't want to see peasants. Let him go to centres of culture and civilization."

"He should have fine girls. I will give you the addresses of places in Naples. Beautiful young girls--accompanied by their mothers. Ha! Ha! Ha!" The captain spread his hand open, the thumb up and fingers outspread as when you make shadow pictures. There was a shadow from his hand on the wall. He spoke again in pidgin Italian. "You go away like this," he pointed to the thumb, "and come back like this," he touched the little finger. Every one laughed.

"Look," said the captain. He spread the hand again. Again the candle-light made its shadows on the wall. He started with the upright thumb and named in their order the thumb and four fingers, "soto-tenente (the thumb), tenente (first finger), capitano (next finger), maggiore (next to the little finger), and tenentecolonello (the little finger). You go away soto-tenente! You come back soto-colonello!" They all laughed. The captain was having a great success with finger games. He looked at the priest and shouted, "Every night priest five against one!" They all laughed again.

"You must go on leave at once," the major said.

"I would like to go with you and show you things," the lieutenant said.

"When you come back bring a phonograph."

"Bring good opera disks."

"Bring Caruso."

"Don't bring Caruso. He bellows."

"Don't you wish you could bellow like him?"

"He bellows. I say he bellows!"

"I would like you to go to Abruzzi," the priest said. The others were shouting. "There is good hunting. You would like the people and though it is cold it is clear and dry. You could stay with my family. My father is a famous hunter."

"Come on," said the captain. "We go whorehouse before it shuts."

"Good-night," I said to the priest.

"Good-night," he said.

我回到前线的时候，原来所属的部队还驻在那小镇上。附近乡下，炮比从前多了好些，而春天也到了。田野青翠，葡萄藤上长出小青芽，路边的树木吐了叶子，海那边有微风吹来①。我看见那小镇和小镇上边的小山和古堡，众山环绕，仿佛是只杯子，背后便是些褐色高峰，山坡上稍有青翠。小镇里炮更多，还有一些新的医院，街上可以碰到英国军人，有时还有英国妇女，此外炮火所毁的房屋也多了一些。天气暖和如春，我在树荫小巷里走，全身给墙上反射过来的阳光晒得暖洋洋的；原来我们还住在那幢老房子里；这房子看起来跟我离开时没有多少分别。大门开着，有个士兵坐在外边长凳上晒太阳，边门口停有一部救护车，而我一踏进门，便闻到大理石地板和医院的气味。景物如旧，只是春天到了。我向大房间的门里张望一下，看到少校正在办公，窗子打开着，阳光晒了进来。他没看见我，而我则不晓得现在就进去报到好呢，还是先上楼洗刷一下。我决定还是先上楼去。

我和雷那蒂中尉合住的房间，窗子朝着院子。现在窗子开着；我床上铺好了毯子，我的东西挂在墙壁上，我的防毒面具放在一个长方形的白铁罐子里，钢盔仍旧挂在那钉子上。床脚放着我那只扁皮箱，而我的冬靴，涂过油擦得亮光光的，搁在皮箱上。我那根奥军狙击兵的步枪，则挂在两张床的中间，枪铳是蓝色的八角形，枪托是可爱的黑胡桃木，可以靠在颊骨上射击。跟那根枪配套用的望远镜，我记得是锁在皮箱里的。中尉雷那蒂本来睡在他的床上。他听见我的声响便醒了，坐起身来。

“你好，”他说。“玩得怎么样啊？”

“好极了。”我们握握手，他抱住我的脖子吻我。

“噢，”我说。

“你身上脏，”他说。“你该洗一洗。你到过什么地方，做了什么事？立刻都告诉我。”

“我什么地方都去过。米兰、佛罗伦萨、罗马、那不勒斯、维拉·圣佐凡尼、墨西拿、塔奥米那——”

“你好像在背火车时间表。有没有什么艳遇？”

“有。”

“哪儿？”

“米兰、佛罗伦萨、罗马、那不勒斯——”

“够了。只要实实在在把最得意的告诉我。”

“在米兰。”

“那是因为你首先到那地方。你在哪儿碰见她的？在科伐①？你们上哪儿去玩？你觉得怎么样？立刻都告诉我。你们是睡整夜的吗？”“是的。”

“那也没有什么。我们这儿现在有美丽的姐儿。新来的姐儿，从来没上过前线的。”

“那太好了。”

“你不相信吗？我们今天下午就看看去。镇上还有美丽的英国姑娘。现在我爱上了巴克莱小姐。我带你去望望她。说不定我要和巴克莱小姐结婚哩。”

① 这里的海指亚得里亚海，在意大利的东面，是地中海的一部分。

① 米兰歌剧院附近的著名咖啡馆。意大利文“科伐”有“休息地”的意思。

“我得洗刷一下去报到。难道现在谁也不工作吗？”

“自从你走以后，没有什么大病重伤，只是些冻伤，冻疮，黄疸，白浊，自己弄的伤，肺炎，硬性和软性下疳。每星期总有人给石片砸伤。真正的伤员当然也有几个。战争下星期又要开始了。或许已经开始了。人家是这么说的。照你看，我跟巴克莱小姐结婚行不行——婚期自然得在停战以后。”“绝对行，”我说，在脸盆里倒满了水。

“今天晚上你得把一切都告诉我，”雷那蒂说。“现在我得多睡一会儿，养好精神，漂漂亮亮的，去见巴克莱小姐。”

我脱下制服和衬衫，用脸盆里的冷水抹身。我一边用毛巾摩擦身子，一边对房间环视了一下，望望窗外，望望眼睛闭着睡的雷那蒂。他人长得很好看，年龄跟我不相上下，是阿马斐①人。他当军医觉得很开心，我们俩是好朋友。我望着他时，他睁开眼来。

“身边有钱没有？”

“有。”

“借我五十里拉吧。”

我揩干手，从挂在墙上的制服里掏出皮夹子来。雷那蒂接过钞票，折好塞在裤袋里，人依然躺在床上。他笑着说：“我得在巴克莱小姐面前装阔佬。

你是我的亲密的好朋友，我经济上的保护人。”

“活见鬼，”我说。

那天晚上在饭堂里，我坐在教士的旁边。教士对于我没到他故乡阿布鲁息去很失望，仿佛突然伤了心似的。他给他父亲写信，说我要去，他们也预备好一切等待我。我自己也像他那样不好过，想不出我当时为什么竟没有去。其实我本来打算去的，我就说明给他听，本来打算去，后来一事又是一事，终于拖得没有去成。到末了他也看出我实在是本来打算去的，于是他才无所谓了。我喝了许多酒，过后又喝了咖啡和施特烈嘉酒②，带着酒意说，我们并不做我们想做的事，我们从来不这样做。 ③

① 阿马斐在意大利的西南部。

② 一种桔子味的甜酒，金黄色。

③ 参见《圣经·罗马书》第7 章第15 节：“..我所愿意的，我并不作..”

我们俩谈话的时候，别人正在争辩。我本来有意思要到阿布鲁息去的。我并没有到路面冻得像铁那么坚硬的寒地去，那儿天气晴朗，又冷又干燥，下的雪干燥像粉，雪地上有野兔走过的脚迹，庄稼人一见到你就脱帽喊老爷。可惜我去的地方都是烟雾弥漫呛人的咖啡馆，一到夜里，房间直打转，你得盯住墙壁，才能使房子停止旋转。夜间醉了酒躺在床上，体会到人生的一切都是这样，醒来时有一种奇异的兴奋，不晓得究竟是跟谁在睡觉，在黑暗中，世界显得都是不实在的，而且这样令人兴奋，所以你不得不又装得假痴假呆、糊里糊涂，认为这就是一切，一切的一切，天不管，地不管。有时候，你会突然间又非常警惕起来，怀着这样的心情从睡梦中醒来，早晨一到，一切消逝，触目都是尖锐的、苛刻的、清楚的现实，有时甚至还争吵价钱过于昂贵。有时早上醒来愉快、甜蜜、温暖，还一同吃了早饭和中饭。有时一点快感都没有，急于早点走开上街去，但是有另一天的开始，接下来的就有另一天的夜晚。我想把夜里的情况，以及日夜的区别告诉那教士，说明为什么白天倘若不是很清爽很寒冷的话，还是黑夜好。但是我这番意思说不出来，就像我现在讲不出来一样。但是如果你有过这种经验，你就明白了。他没有这种经验，但是他也明白我本来想到他故乡去的意思，虽然我没去成，我们俩还是朋友，有好些共同的兴趣，也有些分歧。我所不明白的事往往他都明白，有时我也懂了，只是后来总是忘掉。关于这一点，我当时不晓得，后来才明白。当时我们大家都在饭堂里，晚饭已吃完，旁人还在争辩。我们俩一停止谈话，上尉便嚷道：“教士不开心。教士没有姐儿不开心。”

“我开心的，”教士说。

“教士不开心。教士希望奥地利打胜仗，”上尉说。旁的人在听。教士摇摇头。

“不对，”他说。

“教士要我们永远不进攻。你不是要我们永远不进攻吗？”“不是。既然有战争，我们总得进攻吧。”

“总得进攻。要进攻！”

教士点点头。

“由他去吧，”少校说。“他这人不错。”

“他究竟也是没法子想啊，”上尉说。于是大家离桌散席。

When I came back to the front we still lived in that town. There were many more guns in the country around and the spring had come. The fields were green and there were small green shoots on the vines, the trees along the road had small leaves and a breeze came from the sea. I saw the town with the hill and the old castle above it in a cup in the hills with the mountains beyond, brown mountains with a little green on their slopes. In the town there were more guns, there were some new hospitals, you met British men and sometimes women, on the street, and a few more houses had been hit by shell fire. Jt was warm and like the spring and I walked down the alleyway of trees, warmed from the sun on the wall, and found we still lived in the same house and that it all looked the same as when I had left it. The door was open, there was a soldier sitting on a bench outside in the sun, an ambulance was waiting by the side door and inside the door, as I went in, there was the smell of marble floors and hospital. It was all as I had left it except that now it was spring. I looked in the door of the big room and saw the major sitting at his desk, the window open and the sunlight coming into the room. He did not see me and I did not know whether to go in and report or go upstairs first and clean up. I decided to go on upstairs.

The room I shared with the lieutenant Rinaldi looked out on the courtyard. The window was open, my bed was made up with blankets and my things hung on the wall, the gas mask in an oblong tin can, the steel helmet on the same peg. At the foot of the bed was my flat trunk, and my winter boots, the leather shiny with oil, were on the trunk. My Austrian sniper's rifle with its blued octagon barrel and the lovely dark walnut, cheek-fitted, schutzen stock, hung over the two beds. The telescope that fitted it was, I remembered, locked in the trunk. The lieutenant, Rinaldi, lay asleep on the other bed. He woke when he heard me in the room and sat up.

"Ciaou!" he said. "What kind of time did you have?"

"Magnificent."

We shook hands and he put his arm around my neck and kissed me.

"Oughf," I said.

"You're dirty," he said. "You ought to wash. Where did you go and what did you do? Tell me everything at once."

"I went everywhere. Milan, Florence, Rome, Naples, Villa San Giovanni, Messina, Taormina--"

"You talk like a time-table. Did you have any beautiful adventures?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Milano, Firenze, Roma, Napoli--"

"That's enough. Tell me really what was the best."

"In Milano."

"That was because it was first. Where did you meet her? In the Cova? Where did you go? How did you feel? Tell me everything at once. Did you stay all night?"

"Yes."

"That's nothing. Here now we have beautiful girls. New girls never been to the front before."

"Wonderful."

"You don't believe me? We will go now this afternoon and see. And in the town we have beautiful English girls. I am now in love with Miss Barkley. I will take you to call. I will probably marry Miss Barkley."

"I have to get washed and report. Doesn't anybody work now?"

"Since you are gone we have nothing but frostbites, chilblains, jaundice, gonorrhea, self-inflicted wounds, pneumonia and hard and soft chancres. Every week some one gets wounded by rock fragments. There are a few real wounded. Next week the war starts again. Perhaps it start again. They say so. Do you think I would do right to marry Miss Barkley--after the war of course?"

"Absolutely," I said and poured the basin full of water.

"To-night you will tell me everything," said Rinaldi. "Now I must go back to sleep to be fresh and beautiful for Miss Barkley."

I took off my tunic and shirt and washed in the cold water in the basin. While I rubbed myself with a towel I looked around the room and out the window and at Rinaldi lying with his eyes closed on the bed. He was good-looking, was my age, and he came from Amalfi. He loved being a surgeon and we were great friends. While I was looking at him he opened his eyes.

"Have you any money?"

"Yes."

"Loan me fifty lire."

I dried my hands and took out my pocket-book from the inside of my tunic hanging on the wall. Rinaldi took the note, folded it without rising from the bed and slid it in his breeches pocket. He smiled, "I must make on Miss Barkley the impression of a man of sufficient wealth. You are my great and good friend and financial protector."

"Go to hell," I said.

That night at the mess I sat next to the priest and he was disappointed and suddenly hurt that I had not gone to the Abruzzi. He had written to his father that I was coming and they had made preparations. I myself felt as badly as he did and could not understand why I had not gone. It was what I had wanted to do and I tried to explain how one thing had led to another and finally he saw it and understood that I had really wanted to go and it was almost all right. I had drunk much wine and afterward coffee and Strega and I explained, winefully, how we did not do the things we wanted to do; we never did such things.

We two were talking while the others argued. I had wanted to go to Abruzzi. I had gone to no place where the roads were frozen and hard as iron, where it was clear cold and dry and the snow was dry and powdery and hare-tracks in the snow and the peasants took off their hats and called you Lord and there was good hunting. I had gone to no such place but to the smoke of cafe and nights when the room whirled and you needed to look at the wall to make it stop, nights in bed, drunk, when you knew that that was all there was, and the strange excitement of waking and not knowing who it was with you, and the world all unreal in the dark and so exciting that you must resume again unknowing and not caring in the night, sure that this was all and all and all and not caring. Suddenly to care very much and to sleep to wake with it sometimes morning and all that had been there gone and everything sharp and hard and clear and sometimes a dispute about the cost. Sometimes still pleasant and fond and warm and breakfast and lunch. Sometimes all niceness gone and glad to get out on the street but always another day starting and then another night. I tried to tell about the night and the difference between the night and the day and how the night was better unless the day was very clean and cold and I could not tell it; as I cannot tell it now. But if you have had it you know. He had not had it but he understood that I had really wanted to go to the Abruzzi but had not gone and we were still friends, with many tastes alike, but with the difference between us. He had always known what I did not know and what, when I learned it, I was always able to forget. But I did not know that then, although I learned it later. In the meantime we were all at the mess, the meal was finished, and the argument went on. We two stopped talking and the captain shouted, "Priest not happy. Priest not happy without girls."

"I am happy," said the priest.

"Priest not happy. Priest wants Austrians to win the war," the captain said. The others listened. The priest shook his head.

"No," he said.

"Priest wants us never to attack. Don't you want us never to attack?"

"No. If there is a war I suppose we must attack."

"Must attack. Shall attack!"

The priest nodded.

"Leave him alone," the major said. "He's all right."

"He can't do anything about it anyway," the captain said. We all got up and left the table.