The beginning was always the same.

The gray sky, the drizzling rain, the muddy, barren garden. The chill in the air, the mud-stained nightgown. The gashes on her throat that stung. If she didn’t go back to the mansion soon, the gardener would find her. She kicked the rope near her feet and headed to the passage used by maids—she failed again this time. It’s cold. This time, once again. She gritted her teeth. What went wrong this time.

Unlike the damp hallway, the room inside was warm. The temperature was better due to the thick fur quilts that blocked out the cold and the fire that burned in the fireplace.

She took off her dirty clothes and threw them into the fireplace, at which, the fire died because her clothes were wet.

Cursing to herself as she turned on the lamp at the foot of her bed, she poured oil into the fireplace so that the fire would burn once more. She stared at the woman in the mirror. She failed again this time.

She sat on a wooden chair, and on the table was a piece of paper and a small tub of ink. After staring at those for a long time, she grabbed a pen. Dipping it into the inkwell, she wrote on the piece of paper.

My name is…

She lost her grip over the pen and stopped writing. What’s the point? Even her name was meaningless. She felt empty. This time, this time! She thought the same thing for ten years. For the next thirty years, she tried to adapt. The next twenty years, she only thought about how she could make herself die. Then, the next five years were spent doing nothing. And… And.

Carynne Hare.

She fell into a book.

And for 117 years, she couldn’t get out.

* * *

The book she transmigrated into was a typical romance novel. Carynne, the daughter of a minor fief lord, was to be wed to her relative, Dullan Roid, so that her family could keep the territory. But just like any other female protagonist, Carynne was a girl who dreamed of true love, and so she broke off her engagement.

She couldn’t possibly love a smelly, skinny, hateful-looking man. After that, Carynne’s family fell into ruin, so she started working as a handmaid for a young lady, and there, she fell in love with Raymond, the fiancé of the young lady. Following many trials and adversities, Carynne and Raymond got married.

The novel’s timeline was roughly over a year, and she also succeeded in marrying Raymond by using the same method. Happy ending. Happy ending.

After this chapter ended, Carynne was murdered the very next page. It was through poison. After collapsing because of the burning pain, she woke up at dawn, in the middle of the garden. She had trembled with fear.

Then, she fell in love with Raymond once again. She fell asleep in his embrace. Yet, when she opened her eyes, she was back in the same garden. This was the second time she died, and she didn’t even know why.

The third loop was spent staying away from Raymond, who then married another woman, and Carynne applauded as she attended the wedding as a guest. After the ceremony, she died after being trampled by a horse during the wedding procession. Her whole body was mangled.

The same was true after this round. The reason was different every time, but the end was always the same—her death.

Just in case it would work, she pushed through with her engagement a few years ago. Her engagement with Dullan hadn’t been broken, and she had wedded him without any problems. But when she woke up once more, she was back in the same garden. She didn’t know which it was that sent her back, whether it was when she had died or whether it was when a year had passed.

It wasn’t until a considerate amount of time that she figured out the mechanics of the loop.

The duration is one year. It always starts in the garden while it’s raining.

After one year, Carynne dies for whatever reason and will return to the same time and place.

She would start anew while bringing back with her the things in her hands that she was holding as she died.

Thanks to the third law, she was able to have faith that she wasn’t dreaming. The number 116 was engraved onto the flat gold coin in her hand. After changing the number 6 to 7, she looked up at the ceiling. She couldn’t even remember her original face anymore.

She had lived as Carynne for more than a century. As her mind grew more than twice as old as her body, she had lost any hope of being able to leave this novel.

“I’d rather die, really.”

“You’re not supposed to say that, Milady. I can’t imagine a world without you here.”

Nancy, a dark-skinned maid, berated Carynne lightly as she brushed her hair. She could still remember a time where the world’s most important Missus was a woman who had the same dark skin. It was more than a hundred years ago. It was too vague of a memory to even call it a memory.

Whenever she saw this maid who was closest to her, Carynne would be reminded again that she wasn’t from this world. When she saw for the first time how the maid bowed towards her, Carynne shuddered in reluctance.

But then again, if this maid did not keep her head down as she left the room, she would be punished and beaten. This was how people of color were treated here, even the elderly. She had witnessed it for 117 years. Only time could change such values of humanity.

“Does Milady not like Lord Dullan to that extent?”

There’s no way she would like him. All the people here were like ink on paper to her. It was all meaningless, fleeting, and yet ink inherently wasn’t harmless. Anyone could die if they drank ink. Should she say that the ink was poison? What’s left would be but an ephemeral moment of joy. It was a short pleasure spanning for even less than a page.

She chuckled inwardly. As disfigured as Dullan looked, he was worse in bed. The last time she slept with him was a few years ago. And he had always been a stuttering, clumsy, ugly young man who lacked vigor.

“He’s ugly.”

“…Oh my goodness.”

“If we swap his lower parts with your lover’s, I’ll consider him again.”

“…Where did Milady hear such words? Which maid said that?”

“Don’t be so uptight. It’s just a harmless joke from a 17-year-old girl who doesn’t even know what a man’s genitals look like.”

“I’ve been taking care of you since you were a baby, but what are you talking about now? I didn’t raise you like this… In any case, after ten years of marriage, something like this would be nothing.”

That’s not it.

“Do you think it would last ten years with Dullan?”

“Then will it end after only a year? You’ll have more time. Let’s hurry up and tighten your corset first. You should see if you can have at it with a better man than Dullan with a thin waist.”

“…Mmh!”

If it weren’t for this bloody corset, she could have had more fun. The whalebone corset, which squeezed her dry even of her swearwords, would more likely chew and bite at her waist than to just make it thin. It was suffocating. She hated this era.

“Nancy, I come from a time period where voluptuous women are popular.”

“If you live in that time period, then you’d be the slimmest of them all, what with you being such a picky eater.”

No, Nancy. Truthfully, she was quite the glutton.

Greasy meat, sweet snacks, all the kinds of food that would melt in her mouth. She liked all of these things, but the food in this world didn’t suit her palate. The bread was too hard and the meat smelled and tasted fishy. Salt was so expensive that she could only eat salty food once a week before she married Raymond.

That was the biggest reason why she liked Raymond. He provided her with good food. He was a man who could give both good food and good sex. Carynne swallowed the words that she couldn’t utter.

“Are you not going to attend the worship service today as well?”

“I’ll listen to such prayers five times a day after I get married anyway, so what’s the point?”

Dullan was a priest. Along with the local parish, he would also receive the land of the Hare family. As she thought of Dullan, who recited the name of God from their first night as a wedded couple and for all the days to come, Carynne felt like throwing up.

“How blasé. I’ve been with Milady since you were young, but you’re a little different today. Everyone says it’s like this before getting married, but you’ll be fine.”

No, I’m not fine, Nancy.

She had not been fine for 117 years.

* * *

It was a young lady’s 17th birthday, but they were far from the capital, so it wasn’t a grand event. All the more so for Carynne, whose marriage was already halfway confirmed.

The roads surrounding the fief weren’t in good condition either, and the nearest estate to the fiefdom was at a distance that would take one entire day of a carriage ride. And so, the hall was inevitably quiet.

Relatives and people who were connected to the fief in terms of business, who only vaguely exchanged letters with the family, wandered into the hall. And the clumsy musicians, who were forced to play for this event, were out of sync. They all had the expression ‘I want to get this over with and just get paid already’ stamped across their faces.

Even in such a place, Carynne was the center of attention. It wasn’t just because she was the star of this event, but because her beauty made her shine.

Her red hair, which was skillfully styled by Nancy, was naturally wavy, and the tight corset she was wearing emphasized both her bust and the thin waist that it was around.

Even though she was only seventeen years old, she was breathtakingly alluring. Those who killed time while prattling on with perfunctory conversation would grow lively when conversing with her.

Carynne could tell what they were thinking even if they wouldn’t say it aloud. She was a woman who was in a tentative engagement, so they couldn’t approach her openly.

But the moment Carynne would say, ‘I don’t want to get married like this,’ they would cry out with joy. They would be so excited to rip her clothes and pounce on her.

She spent about seven years rolling around the sheets with men, but she got tired of that faster than she thought she would. Most of them smelled horrible and didn’t even manage their pubic hair properly, so the experience was quite revolting.

This time, Carynne was set on doing something. She was too lazy to marry Raymond, too lazy to spend time taking care of the fiefdom. She’s already read almost all the books she could get her hands on, and the food here wasn’t delicious at all.

“C-Carynne Hare. Y-Your… h-husband has come to you, yet y-you make that face?”

“Not yet.”

“…F-Fiancé.”

“Either way, not yet.”

Dullan, Carynne’s fiancé.

It was strange how he wore his black priest’s robe while attending his fiancée’s birthday banquet. She was already used to it, but her brows would still furrow at the unpleasant sight of him being unbearably self-conscious. What she couldn’t stand wasn’t really how whispers followed them while they were together, but rather his attitude of being so conscious of the eyes on him.

It was embarrassing. He arrived a while ago, yet he didn’t even change his clothes. What he wore right now didn’t match the occasion, and there were mud stains clinging onto the edges of his pants.

He smelled disgustingly of medicine, wine and acrid rain. His wide eyes looked like a dead fish’s, and the black shadows underneath them made it so that children would cry at just the sight of him. Even maids would sometimes get surprised after seeing him. And those eyes were looking at Carynne right now.

Of course, Carynne had gotten used to them for over a hundred years, so she wasn’t particularly affected by that ghastly gaze.

“W-What are… you thinking about?”

“Nothing much.”

He was very tall, but he was skinny, had no money, and didn’t know how to use his ****. He was a man who didn’t love Carynne and instead lusted for her. Apart from that, he was arrogant and rude.

Carynne loathed him, yet at the same time, she hated herself for feeling so strongly towards mere ink on paper.

If he was even the least bit attractive, none of the conflict in the novel would have happened!

It was a laughable thought. Just what the hell was this man. She had tried getting married to him, but that didn’t work. When she returned after spending a year with Dullan, her frustration had reached its peak.

Everything was meaningless. She had lived compassionately back then, like a nun, but it was all for nothing.

“Life is meaningless.”

“B-But… After getting m-married—”

“’All women who are about to get married feel the same way and the same frustration, but most of these concerns disappear after you get married. Stop thinking you’re some sort of fairytale princess, Lady Hare,’ is what you were about to say, right?”

“…S-Similar.”

Yes, it was exactly the same—she wanted to reply like this, but she complained inwardly instead. What he said to her several times back then while stuttering was ‘You’ll marry me anyway, so wake up.’

“It’s not like that.”

If only her complaints were only that much.

She just wanted to grow old. Or die. No… she just didn’t want to be in this place anymore. She was tired of it all. The same conversations, the same responses even after 100 times! Even the stuttering.

Swallowing a desperate scream, Carynne mimicked a 17-year-old girl who was moderately pouty. As he admired her beauty a little, the 25-year-old Dullan stopped being sarcastic. Dullan thought that Carynne was being immature, and he was right.

About a century ago. Maybe even now. Carynne was already 117 years old, but there was no one who treated her as such, so she didn’t find the need to act according to her age either.

Carynne, the redheaded beauty with purple eyes who lived forever.

The orchestra began playing.

—

With a pout still on her lips, Carynne held Dullan’s hand. This was a normal start. Dullan had two left feet, but since Carynne didn’t want to repeat falling over because of him, she gripped Dullan’s hand and skillfully took the lead. It might not be accurate, but perhaps this was the nineteenth time she had danced with Dullan. Right then, she held his waist and did a turn with him.

Who would kill her this time?

Her death had somehow become the most interesting and exciting event that she looked forward to. Carynne even directed her own death to some extent. Repeated deaths and mixed memories would confuse anyone—from minor inconveniences such as trying to remember if she had this conversation before, or something major such as being killed and might lead to resentment.

No matter how true it was that she would still survive in the end and go back in time, she still died before starting over. Even so, she was sick and tired of this repeated humdrum life with the same boring conversations. Carynne wanted to see new reactions as much as possible, and this secluded region where there was no war, nothing ever happened.

Anything’s good, so just do something to make me laugh.

What should she do this time?

It was her 17th birthday, and at the same time, it was her 117th.

She would need to wait a month before she could meet Raymond. This period where nothing important happened was only described in a few short paragraphs, and she was already so tired of it. All that mattered in these scenes was to highlight how unattractive and rude Dullan was, and at the same time, how much he was unworthy of marrying the beautiful, witty and precious Carynne.

The song was over.

“I w-won’t ask you to l-love me, Carynne Hare. We’re… relatives… But if we don’t get m-married, the land would be r-revoked by the state… So to prevent that… marriage w-within the family is necessary…”

“You don’t have to explain it to me so diligently. It’s something both you and I know.”

“…Then at least s-smile. Everyone in this man…sion is l-laughing at me.”

His grip tightened over Carynne’s wrist. You’re clutching it too much, moron. She felt that she was going to get a bruise. Carynne hated pain. She had gone through a lot of things, but she hated pain so much—to the point that she even wanted to postpone her death. Tempering the incoming irritation she could already feel, Carynne placed her other hand over Dullan’s chest.

“It’s not like that, Dullan.”

“I can’t s-stand being treated like a f-fool.”

This grumbling man was laughable. Even the word ‘cute’ didn’t suit him. His pride soared high, yet his self-confidence was rock bottom. Carynne had seen this a lot, the narrow-mindedness of this young man who wouldn’t change even if he married Carynne. This was his nature.

It might be because he wasn’t Carynne’s male lead in the novel she read, but perhaps he would become more mature decades later after becoming a father and raising a child.

However, Carynne knew very well that the young man in front of her suffered from a severe inferiority complex, and it was a waste of time to hope that he would change. He would never grow out of it. As far as Carynne had witnessed, he didn’t have the capacity to change.

Carynne recalled a time when she thought that her hasty marriage with her original fiancé, Dullan Roid, was the key to breaking the time loop. She was young back then. Wait, no? Maybe not. She didn’t even know how long it had been.

Having lived as a teenager for more than a hundred years, her mind was like a jumbled bookshelf with all its books haphazardly shoved in.

Even if Carynne whispered sweet nothings into his ear, he would doubt her. It was quite refreshing at first, when she targeted Dullan instead of Raymond, who was the stutterer’s complete opposite. Raymond was someone who would approach Carynne first and would swear his unconditional dedication and love for her, even if it wasn’t reciprocated.

How should she go about it then? Carynne contemplated on how she should live this life. There was this one book that she hadn’t finished reading yet, but she read it back in Raymond’s mansion. At this point, it hadn’t even been published yet. She should finish reading that book. However, it was still a long way off until her first meeting with Raymond.

The highlight of this part of the novel was how she would break it off with Dullan. Up her arsenal, Carynne knew more than 30 ways to humiliate him. If she let this pass and wouldn’t do anything, she would get married to him. But that wouldn’t be fun since she already did that before.

What hadn’t she done so far?

Since it wasn’t time for the inciting incident yet, Carynne spent most of this time in a relaxed manner. It’s still cold at this time of the year, so it would be difficult to go to the garden. It wasn’t time for exciting, fun people to come, and there was only her maid, the other servants and her ugly fiancé around her at this moment.

In the beginning, she always felt depressed. But after going through this a hundred years after she turned 17 years old, perhaps it was time for a celebration. A commemoration of sorts. She wanted to do something different.

“Come to my room tonight.”

Now that she thought about it, she had yet to play with Dullan today. Nothing significant would happen any time soon anyway.

After becoming tired and prickly because of the long trip, this was a disappointing time for Dullan. And for Dullan, who was even uglier now compared to when he was younger, this was truly a lamentable time. In this iteration, perhaps she should tie him up and hit him with a whip.

However, after hearing Carynne’s words, Dullan frowned. His anger was incited, and he tried to swear at her and call her an obscene woman. But rather than that, what he said to Carynne, whose chest was pounding, was quite unexpected.

“…Are you going to lock the door after letting the hounds loose again?”

“Oh my?”

“Damn it, you did that during your t-tenth birthday.”

There was such a backstory? She felt better now because of the refreshing new response. She didn’t know that Carynne had such a past. There were cases when a couple wouldn’t even talk once they’d gotten married, but he was being like this. Very good. This gave her a little pleasure. Carynne laughed sincerely this time because she was truly delighted.

“Then let’s go after this dance.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why? Let’s have our wedding a little early.”

“…I don’t f…ollow.”

She pinched his chest over his clothes, and what followed was a weak groan.

Even if there wasn’t love between them, lust could exist. She knew him well.

“Do you hate a wife who’s like this?”

Of course not.

Chuckling, she rearranged the skirt of her dress to cover his lower body. It’s only right for a lady to do so.

****************

Why was it that sex and death seemed to be irrevocably connected? After shuddering in fear at first, she gradually got used to sleeping with someone. The feeling of that inside her was quite nice, and the illusion that warmth enveloped her when a body would embrace her was also quite nice. During even the most intense moment of her life, even for just a moment, it could comfort her and give her the sense that there was nothing depressing about it at all.

After experiencing death more than once before, she found the experience to be kind of the same. She would be pushed to the highest point, as though she had ascended to the heavens, yet at the same time, it felt like she was stuck on the ground.

Of course, she had slept with men who couldn’t deliver even a fraction of this feeling and did only meaningless movements, as if rowing a boat in the air. Dullan wasn’t any better.

Unlike Carynne, who was bright and beautiful, he was skinny and pale, and he had a gloomy personality. At the same time, he had a knack for getting offended by the most trivial things that Carynne would say.

He had a nasty habit of looking down on people, but at the same time, he was the object of their ridicule. He couldn’t manage the territory well, so he mostly relied on Carynne’s father. With his posture eternally poor, his shoulders were hunched and his back was bent forward.

As she went back in time again and again over a fixed period of time, perhaps she thought that this was part of his charm. It was only after many years that she found him to be cute. By that time though, almost everyone had become similar in her eyes.

After becoming mentally older than Dullan, his gloominess and his prickliness caught her eye, and she wondered just what kind of the environment he grew up in for him to turn out like this. Now, he’d become bearable enough that she saw him as cute in his own way.

“…Does it h-hurt?”

He didn’t seem to be worried about her even though he asked this. Rather, he would enjoy it more if she was in pain. Dullan’s movements became noticeably intense the moment he saw Carynne’s blood, and at this, she resisted the urge to snort.

It’s ridiculous. Unpopular men were sad about not being popular with women, but they didn’t want to admit it. The more such a man felt this way, the more obsessed he would be about a woman’s virginity. This kind of man wouldn’t want his incompetence to be revealed.

Carynne wondered if Dullan was a ******. Although he just returned from studying at a monastery, she knew well enough that it was still a place where a person could pop the cherry. Moreover, it wasn’t like Dullan was a dutiful priest. Unlike Raymond.

Would Dullan compare her to someone else? Carynne recalled her first time. It was such a long time ago. Was it Raymond? But this train of thought was cut off because of a noise from outside. Servants could be heard passing by beyond the door. They must be looking for her. The banquet wasn’t over yet after all.

Carynne wondered what would happen if she was caught in the act. Although they were already engaged, most people were still dubious about Dullan. Should she make it so that she’s seen in this bedroom with him?

She wanted to see an attendant admire Carynne like this, then collapse into shock. At this point, she looked up at the person over her. She also wanted to see Dullan flustered.

Carynne hated his arbitrary caresses and ineffective teasing, but she liked it when he embraced her so tightly as though he didn’t want to let go of her—when he would groan and show a desperate look.

Because of this, their movements were restricted, the sensation wasn’t much, and the friction down below was nothing short of a dragonfly’s fluttering wings. Even if the purpose of sleeping with him was to be embraced, Carynne was left speechless.

She considered it for a while, if this was enough to make her angry. But it wasn’t, so she didn’t act on it. This was stimulating in its own way. It’s also something that didn’t happen in a previous loop.

From the very first day of this loop, she rolled around the sheets with Dullan. She went to bed with him right away before the wedding. A while ago, he stuttered tremendously and beseeched God. Considering how he was right now, it was clear that he’s perverted.

Perhaps later, it would be nice to do some wax play. Dullan didn’t know if Carynne was just shocked or something because she was so quiet, but he fumbled and tried to make excuses for himself.

“Y-You’re the one who s-seduced me.”

Was he trying to say that she took advantage of him? All she was thinking right now was how she disliked that her underwear got dirty. The banquet wasn’t over yet. Should she wash up again?

Her body, which was briefly heated up because of lust, quickly cooled down when her desire was extinguished. As Carynne stared at the anxious Dullan, she frowned when she caught his stench.

He didn’t even wash his hair after getting drenched by the rain. Perhaps he had lost his strength, but he was easily pushed away by Carynne when he had pulled out of her.

“Wash up. You smell horrible.”

“…Huh? H-Horrible

—

What should I do this time?

Carynne was lying on the bed, staring blankly into the air.

She had already tried giving all her wealth to the territory’s residents, read books, enjoyed a resplendent life with men—oh, but she was stabbed to death back then. She also already watched Raymond and Isella get married while she herself married Dullan without any qualms.

However, most of the places she went to over the years were restricted to the Hare territory, Isella’s villa and Raymond’s mansion. And even Raymond’s mansion was a place where she only stayed at for a short period of time because by then, the novel was already about to end. Even over a hundred years, the time she spent leisurely lying in a comfortable bed wasn’t long at all.

There were so few places where women of this era could go, so it’s boring. Carynne briefly thought of wheedling Isella into travelling far away with her this time, but she threw away the idea.

Two women on a trip. Five servants would be the minimum, and it’s obvious that the adult men who would escort them would be Raymond and Dullan. This was concerning. Who would be responsible for whom?

Carynne roughly arranged the flushed Dullan’s clothes, then she spoke.

“Escort me properly.”

They had to dance three more songs. Then, he was going to trip over a servant’s foot, get angry at him, pour wine over his head, then laugh at him. And she was going to be shocked by his violence.

“…Uh.”

“Put some strength in your legs.”

“……”

Rather, Carynne was the one who escorted him since his legs were still like jelly, and she helped him as she clicked her tongue. Then, Dullan tripped over the servant’s foot as scheduled, fell down, got angry at the servant, but he couldn’t pour wine over his head.

****************

“What are you doing, Milady?”

“Nothing, just worrying about my future.”

Nancy sighed as she watched Carynne, who couldn’t focus on the breakfast laid before her. Nancy hated how Carynne would get so lost in thought.

“Don’t think about it much. Isn’t that just a waste of time? Everything will be fine over time, so you should just enjoy it. Hm?”

It’s been about one hundred years and it’s still not fine.

“Sure…”

“What’s in your hand?”

“This?”

Carynne hid the coin that she was fiddling with, but then again, she didn’t have to hide it so she took it out again. After all, only Carynne knew the meaning behind it. It’s worth nothing to others.

“It’s just something I carry around. Something like an amulet.”

“If it’s too complicated to have, then just throw the coin away. Isn’t it the same with thoughts that you mull over for a long time? Now, finish worrying and eat. But we have to tighten your corset again, so don’t eat too much.”

It’s fine, perhaps? Carynne grabbed the coin. They had only been together, oh, 117 years. It’s difficult to decide on what to do this time, so it might not be bad to decide like this. If the number comes face up, Carynne would just roll around with Dullan this time. Should she study theology?

If it would turn up the other way… Nancy snatched the coin and flipped it.

“Now, the rear is turned up. Go ahead and eat.”

Then, she would have to do something bad this time around.

As Carynne decided to go on the crooked path in this life, she dreamed of a grand ambition while watching the teacup be filled with hot water.

Carynne was going crazy because she was so bored of living. After dozens of attempts, when she was still convinced that marrying Raymond was the answer, she tried various methods. Doing good deeds was one thing she tried. She sold her assets and did fundraising campaigns.

Nevertheless, the results were the same. No, they weren’t even any better. She was also once killed by a homeless man she helped back then.

However, good deeds were quite addictive. She eventually gave up in the end because it wasn’t the answer, but for a while, Carynne thought that helping others might make her happy. She didn’t sleep, she wandered around, and it was just as rewarding as it was futile.

If good deeds were fun, then evil deeds would definitely be fun as well.

She wanted to do something incredibly bad for it to be considered evil. What would be ideal? Carynne laughed as she imagined herself conquering the world. However, considering the places she could go and the money she could spend, she had to give up this ambition.

She would need about twenty servants, but they listened more to her father’s orders. They weren’t loyal to Carynne enough to commit murder for her. And she would have to put a lot of effort in making someone else move.

Carynne clicked her tongue just thinking about the countless maids, servants and knights in the story, who were used to giving up their lives even if they did nothing wrong.

Her deadline was only a year. In the end, even if she tried to cause trouble, the biggest thing she could do was infidelity, and the smallest thing was to bully the servants. They’re both trivial.

She wanted to do something large-scale. She had tried to commit arson before, but the gardeners were quick to put the fire out. Thanks to this, several of her attempts at arson—with the intent to take her own life—had always failed.

It was no use hurting herself. Until the day she reached the last chapter of the book, she wouldn’t die. There was a time when she threw herself down a flight of stairs, and that got her whole body paralyzed. Albeit the bedsores, she felt relieved when she died while lying down without saying a word.

Thinking about that time, she felt a sour taste in her mouth. There’s no one who’d willingly take care of someone who’s in a vegetative state with a pure heart. When she opened her eyes again the following year, she thought she’d take revenge on the people who killed her, but she gave up on the idea because even that was meaningless.

There was no justification in punishing the people who didn’t do it at that timeline, and even if she tried to take revenge, there would be too many targets. Nancy alone had once twisted her neck.

But right then, Carynne stopped at that train of thought.

Revenge? Revenge, revenge.

“…Ah.”

For a while now, she thought that she had already done everything that she could. That supposition was wrong. There were countless options that she had yet to consider, just as she hadn’t done that with Dullan on the very first day.

While praising the uncertainty of life, she wondered why she never attempted to exact revenge. Perhaps she thought that it was love that changed people and the world.

At first, she did what she had read in the book, met someone else, rinse and repeat. The requisite was to love. She wandered in search of love for one hundred years. They were boring days, meaningless days.

Love was not the answer.

She was sick and tired of putting up with such bothersome characters.

It’s time for revenge.

Uninteresting characters, characters who were not the answer to her plight—they must receive the reader’s revenge.

“Ah!”

Something she had never done before!

Carynne came up with something new to do. And at that, she was engulfed in joy.

Why hadn’t she thought of this before?

It wasn’t love that had the greatest influence on people.

It was death.

As she welcomed her 117th birthday, Carynne Hare decided to become a murderer.

... ...

...***...

The new plan gave Carynne a boost of zeal.

She was so excited that she couldn’t understand why she hadn’t decided to kill before. Why should she run first when she had been on the receiving end of death for a century? She had always been struck first.

But as she reflected on the task, it wasn’t going to be easy.

‘Even so, I’m happy about that. They say that hardships make people shine brighter.’

Her slender arms might not even be enough to twist the neck of a chicken. She had never lifted anything heavier than a book. When going to church, she always rode a carriage. And when she had to climb a lot of steps, servants were there to assist her.

The deadline was one year. If she used that time only to build muscle, she would end up doing nothing.

If she started with a baby, then that would be easy. However, there was no infant in the mansion. Pregnant maids weren’t allowed to continue working, so there weren’t any young children in here. The youngest one in the mansion was the gardener’s child, but that kid’s already much stronger than Carynne.

The library in the mansion was expansive, but none of those books would help her commit murder. And the last murder that happened in this area had been in a small village, which happened before Carynne was even born.

In the end, Carynne felt discouraged for a while because she realized that killing someone with her own hands would be difficult. But soon enough, she started enjoying the predicament.

There were endless ways. The number of deaths she suffered through already reached three digits. She was the textbook. She was the living witness. The answer was her.

Carynne was afraid of nothing else but boredom. As a woman who lived forever, even if she would get caught, all she needed to do was start again. She had seen through all kinds of habits and past preferences as she had lived with them for a horribly long time.

She had plenty of opportunities. Who should she go with first? Carynne contemplated with a pounding heart.