Life is like a smoke in the fire for him. When it goes no one knows as he was also going

out like a smoke. Though want to live life to the fullest but destiny has not given so much

time for that. But it was a dream to be in top and he is fulfilling that and would fulfill

that, as it is said “the biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams”.

Though he had no regret out of life but sometime he thinks if it was not be like that thenhis life would have been different. He would definitely have been in some industry evenwithout higher education and if that would have happened, he would have got his lovetoo. But then the life would have been without any adventure. It is just an imagination,everyone imagines the life to be different than the way it is. I am not the philosopher, not a story writer even but a technical person authoring the life of a person and imagining it to be different than what it is.

The purpose of this story is to express the agonies faced by him in love and the

way he wants to live life but destiny has not allowed him to do so. This strange but true

love story is written by heart, but at the end of the story he is satisfied that at least he

experienced the most beautiful thing in the world, that is the love. Absence makes the

heart grow fonder. He still loves his beloved and is in tears on remembering the time

spent with her, he still waits for her and when is in a sad mood remembers her and even

sends her message whether she reads it or not.

It is believed that as we grow in strength in our spiritual life, we give up the habit

of worrying. It serves no purpose other than to make us feel tense and miserable. If I stop

fretting about things that are beyond my control and rather focus on generating optimistic

and kind thoughts, my life can begin to flow in more positive directions. Such a light and

easy approach to life enables me to take everything in my stride. But this approach is

hypothetical rather than realistic for him. The story starts at this stage which is truly

heartening and I as an author of the story would not be able to present the whole picture

of the story if I do not imagine myself to be in his place. was the 3rd April 2009 at 8:34 pm, I received a message from my school time

friend Sonam “I am going to United States today, I will talk to you once I reach

there, take care”.

I was in deep thought as what she wants to tell me, as she never sends me message like

that. It seems something very urgent and may be it is concerned with my life. She was my

school time friend and married to a software engineer. She was working in a software

company in Delhi. As her husband had been transferred to US and she was going to join

him there. It seems that the message had been sent from airport only.

Next day was a usual day for me. I simply forgot about her message too.

At around 8:30 pm she gave me a call and said “Hi Sameer, how are you? I was in

hurry that day so I simply sent you a message, because I was boarding flight to

US. I want to tell you something which seems to be very important in your life”.

I was excited “What? Please tell me, I am dying to hear what you want to say.”

She replies “I had been in Jammu for few days. I met Sonia‟s sister. She is going

to marry in the mid April and she was busy in preparations for the same. Please

forget about her as she is going to be someone else‟s wife now”.

I became mute for a moment. It seemed as if someone has taken heart away from my

body, as if I was a body without soul, a warrior defeated in the battle of life. I was in

tears, my heartbeat increased and it seemed as if my heart will come out of my body.

She asked me, “Are you there Sameer? What has happened to you? Are you

alright?”

“Yeah, I am alright. When is she going to be married and what her fiancé do?” I

asked in great despair.

“Well I don‟t know more details about that, but Sonia works in a Delhi and her

fiancé is also in Delhi and also he is from southern part of India” She replied.

It reminded me of her reluctance to talk to her family on the basis of caste as in

her view her family had orthodox views in matters related to caste. But, what about her marriage to a person, who was not only of different caste but belonged to a very different culture also. Why her orthodox family did not object to her marriage with that boy. I have

many questions to ask

Why she was not hesitant is talking about that guy with her family?

Why the person, who loved me, hid the relation from everyone even from her close

friends or simply she had played with my emotions?

Is love related to physical aspect of a person or is it related to emotions?

Last but not the least:-

If someone loves the person like me simply because of mercy, am I an object of

pity?

Do the persons like me have no right to

love?

“How it all happened? How?” I asked her with tears.

“Forget about her dear. She does not deserve you, you will find a much better life

partner, forget about her once and for all”.

“I am in tears Sonam. How can I forget her with whom I have spent two years of

my life? Why she has done this to me?” I asked with a broken heart.

“Leave her now dear, think about your life in future. I am feeling guilty, I should

not have told you about her”, she said with guilt in her heart.

“Ok dear, I have to go now as I am not feeling well tonight, bye” I said.

She replied, “Take care of yourself and close this chapter once and for all dear

and please don‟t lose heart, take care, God bless you”.

It was the most despairing moment of my life, even worst than the worst I have ever

experienced. Even worse than my breakup day. I was in tears, was sleepless the whole

night as if someone has taken something very precious away from me which is even more

precious than my life. I kept thinking of the past, the moments spent with her. I was

unable to understand what to do. I was like a dead person whose soul is out of his body.

Sometimes thought of ending life, but destiny desired something else.

“You have to live, not for yourself but for her, you have to. You have to find her

wherever she is and with whom she is, ask her many questions, ask her that why

she had ruined my life. Now, you have to ruin her life as she had done with you. Part her from her husband, then she would be yours, wake up, wake up, you have

to do that, you have to get your love at any cost, after all everything is fair in love

and war”, devil in me kept on telling me to do that.

Next day was quite disturbing for me. I had a talk with my close friends. They

tried to soothe my mind and I felt a little better but not so much.

It was the mid of April, generally the marriage season and my beloved was also

going to be married in the month. I didn‟t know the exact date but whenever i saw a

marriage ceremony it hurt me as I was reminded that my beloved was also going to be

someone else‟s. It really hurt me and brought tears into my eyes.

The ghost of April 2009 haunted me very much. It seemed a gift which had been

gifted to me by God, is going to be someone else‟s now. Whenever I saw a newlywed

couple, I was reminded of her which greatly disturbed my mind. I was in dismaying state.

Often her remembrance haunted me. Her sweet voice, her beautiful smile, her love for

me, her promises with me, the dreams we had seen together, dreamt of having a beautiful

hut in the hill station, me and my beloved living a beautiful life where only love prevails,

she in my arms and I having an infinite love for her, but all my dreams dashed to the

ground. My love was in the mortuary and I was collecting the corpse of the time spent

with her.Contentment is a great virtue, though it may not attract one's attention at first.

Those who are truly content are usually quiet about it. It is a pleasure to be in their

company, because they are full, peaceful, and generous. In my college days, I was a very

introvert guy, didn‟t talk much with girls. But I like to share my views through my

poetries and writings for which sometimes I have to face criticism from my close ones.

Big desires, big thoughts and big sayings all are the part of my life but more hypothetical

than realistic, veil my emotions, my thoughts from everyone except me. In my college

days I had a strong desire to be in love and be loved.

In my graduation days I was infatuated for a girl living near my house. It was one

sided love affair, she used to take tuitions with me in my school days and I never

expressed what I felt for her as I myself didn‟t know what was that. My heartbeat used to

increase on seeing her. She used to come to my house to take books and notes from me.

But I didn‟t talk much with her. She was junior to me in my college. It was my strong

desire to see her once a day. One day she left my college as she was going to join a

course with some foreign university. I was very much hurt on hearing that.

Though she didn‟t know about my feelings for her yet I experienced the feeling of

love for the first time in my life. Love is a very unique feeling and if it is both sided then

nothing is sweeter than that. It is said that the spaces between our fingers were created so

that another's could fill them in. It definitely changed my life and gave me a new

enthusiasm and energy to live life and I thanked God for letting me experience this

beautiful thing in life.