The Prologue

Riley Rivers came into the world on October 15, 2003, overflowing with creativity and a free spirit. Among her five siblings, she stood out as the illegitimate child of her mother.

Both Riley's parents were married to other partners when she was born. However, they soon divorced their spouses, got engaged, but called it off six months later due to her father's infidelity, which resulted in a secret love child.

Her mother decided to raise Riley single-handedly but suffered a mental breakdown, partly triggered by learning that her ex-fiancé planned to marry someone else. She started neglecting Riley and her other children.

On the day of Riley's father's wedding, his bride-to-be fled, leaving him with their newborn son Myles – Riley's half-brother. Riley's parents finally married on her first birthday and tried raising Myles and Riley together. But after discovering another affair and getting divorced five years later, Riley ended up living with her mother while her father moved away with Myles.

As Riley's mother spiraled into madness, she vented her frustrations on her daughter. Her siblings also tormented her – except for Hortencia, the eldest sister who stood up for her.

When Riley turned seven, her mother got engaged again but suffered a miscarriage that led to the relationship breaking down. With all of Riley's siblings gone and starting families of their own, she found herself alone with her unstable mother.

Riley often arrived at school bruised from the abuse at home. One particular bully named Carter Cole picked on her relentlessly. He hailed from a wealthy family tied to a gang leader and the town's mayor. Feared by many, he viewed himself as the ruler of the school.

Despite his constant mockery of Riley by telling her she'd never achieve anything or end up crazy like her mom; deep inside, he had a soft spot for this tall girl with dark-brown eyes. Little did he know that Riley harbored a crush on him too. In her childhood, she'd eat to cope with stress due to the constant criticism and bullying, even from teachers.

Silently, Riley had feelings for him. The boy, of average height, had a slender build with a tan complexion, chestnut hair, and light brown eyes. Despite this, he frequently tormented Riley and hurled hurtful names at her. On one occasion, he declared that she would never achieve anything and become as insane as her mother. Deep down though, he didn't really mean it.

Unexpectedly, he too harbored affection for Riley. She was a tall, medium-built girl with dark brown skin, dark hair, and deep brown eyes. As a child, Riley struggled with an eating disorder brought on by stress from the relentless teasing by her peers — even some of the teachers criticized her.

No one bothered to get to know the real Riley; they only saw a girl tormented by her abusive mother. The other children lied to Riley's mother about her behavior just to watch her get punished. Teachers and the principal were aware of the situation but remained indifferent.

Riley's background made it difficult for them to see any potential in her future; they considered her merely a kid without prospects due to her foreign parents. In their eyes, she was nothing more than an illegitimate child.

In sixth grade, Riley faced even worse bullying after someone stole her diary and exposed it to the entire school. Carter was speechless when he discovered that Riley had a crush on him. He wanted to confess his own feelings for her but couldn't; his friends opposed their relationship and Riley also liked one of his friends.

Reading his diary ignited Carter's anger towards his best friend who deliberately leaked it; unbeknownst to Carter, this friend was very familiar with Riley's sister Hannah.

His best friend leaked the diary because he too was attracted to Riley but couldn't find the courage to tell her. Hannah - who despised Riley immensely - informed him of Riley's feelings towards him. Envious of Carter's relationship with Riley, the best friend became bitter that Carter had ruined everything for him.

The friend in question was Adam Jones, who had known Riley since birth. Adam's parents and Riley's sisters lived next door to each other and attended the same high school. Born out of a teenage pregnancy and an arranged marriage, Adam hoped to continue his family's tradition. However, Carter's actions during a game of truth or dare threatened to end that legacy.

Carter dared Adam to break Riley's heart, resulting in her losing feelings for him. In front of Riley, Adam was dared to passionately kiss another girl whilst shouting, "Riley Rivers, I know you love me, but I don't love you! You're ugly and crazy like your mother!" Heartbroken, Riley burst into tears and screamed.

Upon arriving home, she confronted her sister Hannah and attacked her for revealing her feelings to Adam. Hannah mocked her by saying, "A bastard child like you doesn't deserve a happy ending!"

Rushing to her room, Riley threw herself onto the bed and began to cry hysterically, asking herself why she was ever born. She reached for a bottle of pills, attempting to end her misery, but to no avail.

The following day, Adam felt remorse for his actions. "She'll never love me again because of what you did," he said to Carter. "I don't care," Carter replied. "You were the one who leaked her diary, not me."

As usual, Riley walked by with tear-filled eyes. Carter shouted at her, "Listen up, you little psycho! I don't like you or want you! You think I want a crazy girl with an insane mother as a girlfriend? Get lost, you brat!"

Riley gave him a lingering look before walking away in tears. Later that day, Carter made out with another girl right in front of Riley and acted inappropriately with her. Riley couldn't believe that they were only in the sixth grade.

Adam followed suit and taunted Riley by saying, "Jealous much?" Ignoring their taunts, she did her best to steer clear of them for the entire school year.

During their sixth-grade graduation on the last day of school, a cruel prank was played on Riley that would change her life forever.

In the bathroom, she encountered two girls from Aidan and Carter's class who held her down against her will. She shouted and cried while one girl told her to keep quiet.

While struggling for freedom, she slapped one girl across the face. Enraged, the girl cried out about the slap.

Carter and Adam, along with two other boys who constantly bullied Riley, entered the bathroom while the two girls who initially restrained her left. The boys held her down as Adam grabbed a worm and tried to force it into her mouth.

Squirming to break free, she was struck violently by Adam. Her screams were met with tears and Carter, feeling a pang of guilt, released her. However, Adam continued choking her.

Hearing footsteps, they all noticed another girl had entered the bathroom. She demanded they tell her what was happening.

"Get out of here before you end up like her!" Adam threatened. "Hold on, Riley! I'll get help!" shouted the other girl.

The boys fled the scene and left Riley with the newcomer. The girl asked if Riley was alright, to which Riley replied through sobs that she wasn't and wished ill fate on those who tormented her.

The other girl suggested that she should inform an adult. Desperate to find the principal and her mother, Riley ran out of the bathroom only to find that Adam and Carter, as well as their parents, had already left. She returned home without mentioning the horrific incident to anyone.

That day marked a change in Riley's demeanor. Though she maintained her kindness, she could never again shake off the cold contempt she felt towards boys.

Riley Pov

It was my very first day of middle school. I was a trembling wreck, consumed by anxiousness. I found myself surrounded by a sea of unfamiliar faces; a few students from my elementary school attended the same school, but we were no longer on speaking terms after the incident that occurred during our graduation.

A horrifying video was leaked by Carter, capturing their merciless torture of me. The depths of my despair reached my father's awareness when some kids from my brother Myles' school stumbled upon the video and Myles, in turn, showed it to our father.

Enraged by the injustice, my father reported the incident to the police, hoping for some sort of justice. However, the law failed us miserably, chalking it up to their status as minors. In the end, they received nothing more than a symbolic slap on the wrist and a two-month stay in a boot camp, except for Carter, who was mysteriously pardoned by the very mayor who happened to be his grandfather. My father's fury knew no bounds, yet it was futile as there seemed to be no course of action against these people.

Carter, being the mayor's grandson, possessed an invincibility that shielded him from any consequences. To make matters worse, his father was a notorious gang leader, an intimidating force, ensuring that anyone who dared to confront them would meet their untimely demise.

The rest of the summer became a blur, an indistinguishable haze of darkness. My older sister Hortencia, upon discovering my attempt to end my own life, promptly got me into therapy.

As I reluctantly entered the classroom, a sea of eyes fixated on me, intensifying my already heightened anxiety. And then, amongst the swirling chaos, our gazes locked. It was a person I thought I'd never have to encounter again. It was Adam.

Adam's face lit up with a wide grin upon seeing me. Finally taking my seat, the teacher instructed everyone to introduce themselves to the class. Nervously, I managed to muster a few words, "Hey... my name is Riley and I'm almost twelve. I love reading and the rain," I said as I sat down.

Adam interjected, "Who taught you to read Riley? Guys, she's lying!" which prompted laughter amongst the students. Ignoring him, I continued to introduce myself.

Suddenly during first period, Adam began spreading a false rumor about me that I once tried to set our old school on fire. Surprisingly, everyone believed him even the principal who threatened to have me arrested if I were to attempt such a feat at this school.

Feeling completely alone, I only found comfort in my brother Myles and my childhood friend Lola as everyone else distanced themselves from me. Then while out during lunch hours, Adam bumped into me and muttered, "Dumb little bastard". I retaliated by throwing an ice cream cone at him which quickly escalated into a physical altercation. Myles and Lola rushed to pull us apart and I yelled, "Just stay away from me!"

Everyone was staring at me, so I quickly ran away in tears on my way to class. The principal stopped me and asked why I was crying; Adam had already informed him that I had attacked him. Trying to explain myself, nobody believed me, and he immediately called my mom. I was then punished for my actions.

All throughout the day, Adam continued to taunt and tease me with his newfound friends. I couldn't bear it anymore so I hid in the bathroom until the day was over. Even Myles and Lola abandoned me, refusing to risk ruining their chances of fitting in with the other students.

On the way home, Adam confronted me and said, "I'll make your life a living nightmare." I kept walking, but a few kids laughed in the distance. When I arrived home, my mom struck me, demanding to know why I hadn't behaved better at school.

"Didn't i tell you to behave yourself at school" she said. Crying, I tried to explain what had happened, but she refused to listen. "I didn't do anything they lied mommy, I didn't do anything." She refused to listen.

She grabbed a belt and repeatedly struck me until my hand accidentally grabbed it. Screaming and begging her to stop, I apologized and said I wished I had never been born. Afterwards, I lied on the ground in a numb state.

"I'm sorry, I wish Mommy, I wish wasn't born." I said forgive me I begged whimpering.

When I woke up, I was in my room and my sister Hortencia was sitting on the edge of the bed. "Are you okay Riles" she asked with a warm smile.

I replied softly "My throat hurts, but I'm okay, i used to this" I said. "I wish could take custody of you but I've got my own problems" she said.

"It's fine, I don't want to be a burden to you anyways, close the door when you leave, I'm gonna sleep for a while" I said.

She asked if I was okay and I replied that my throat hurt and I was used to it. She wanted to take custody of me, but she had her own problems and I would have just been a burden. I told her to close the door when she left, and I fell asleep.

Hortencia had been married four times and had five children along with a lazy husband. My dad was now married to his mistress, whom he had left my mom for. She hated me, and Dad had suggested I stay with my mom for my own safety, despite the fact that I would be more in danger here. His other children didn't even know I existed. When they finally met me, they said that I was the bastard child who had ruined the marriage of their parents.

When I woke up, my mom was smoking a cigarette while eating and drinking with her friends. "Mistake didn't i tell you not come out that room?" she said to me. "I'm sorry Mommy, I wanted a glass of water, I'm thirsty" i said softly. "Hurry up and get out of my sight" she yelled.

She yelled at me for leaving my room and I apologized, saying I just wanted a glass of water. I then retreated to my room, where I wrote in my diary about the day. I wished I could be free from the abuse and torment I faced every day.  My tears stung as I whispered to myself, "I wish I had an ordinary life."

Carter Pov

It was my first day at this private school. Most of my friends went to public school, so I didn't know anyone except for my older cousin Colt, who was a jerk.

Colt was the main reason why I was so unlikable. I used to look up to him when I was younger, although he was a spoiled daddy's boy. But I never let my dad murder people for me like Colt did-he made his father murder an entire family of a girl he liked because she rejected him.

This girl had no choice but to be with him or die. He raped her and got her pregnant. Now they have a newborn baby and he's only in the ninth grade. Even though she was forced to stay with him, he still spoiled her and their baby with expensive gifts from his parents.

Last summer, Colt tried to convince me to do the same thing he did-threaten to kill the family of a girl I liked so I could force her to be with me. I told him the idea was crazy and that I didn't even like the girl, Riley, who I used to just bully for fun, but everyone knew I was lying.

When I arrived at school that day, I was greeted by Colt and his wannabe gangster friends. "What's up little couz? Colt said. "Oiy mates this is Carty my baby couz" he said introducing me to his friend.

I hated how much I acted like him, but I was soft on the inside, unlike him. The only person who saw that part of me was Riley, and I hated her for it.

I remembered that day in fifth grade, when I walked into my classroom. I saw Riley crying, and her mother had said something terrible to her that morning. I was able to calm her down by talking to her, and she developed a crush on me. Even though I liked her too, my friends teased me about it.

So I ended up threatening them by telling them my dad would kill them if they said anything. I walked up to Colt, and he had a nasty smirk on his face. I was so annoyed I just walked away. "Hey mate quit being a little *****" Colt said catching up with me.

" Yo What's your cousin's problem." one of his friend yelled. "Yo mate chill, Carty is just in feeling his girl broke his little heart, Oh what her name Riiiley!!" He cooed. "He's just afraid his girl Riley won't like him anymore." He said.

At this point I was so furious I screamed, "Shut the **** up, She's not my girlfriend!" Colt replied smugly, "She's not your girlfriend yet. Forget about her. How old are you? Eleven right? You should find yourself a nice girl and start *******-I started ******* in sixth grade, mate."

I couldn't believe this guy. "I don't wanna end up like you so please stay the **** out of my personal life!" i said.

"What's wrong with the way I ended up?" He said as bit offended. "I have a beautiful little daughter, hot baby momma and I'm rich." He said. "What about you?" he said gloating.

" I'm rich too, So I don't care" I said. Colt replied with a huge smirk "aww does Cartykins miss his Riley poo!!" He said smiling.

Colt just kept taunting me, saying I missed Riley. That's when I finally snapped and said, "**** you! I'm going to class."

I felt like crying. Why did Colt have to mention Riley? I loved her so much, but I ruined those chances by slapping her, threatening her family, I should have never tried drugs on graduation.

I can't really remember what happened that day. Everything was a blurr but i remembered slapping her as she laid there screaming on the bathroom floor.

I wanted to go to her school, which was an hour away and thirty minutes away, and apologize for everything I'd done, but I knew she would never forgive me. I would only look like an idiot.

As I made my way to class, I felt like I truly didn't belong in this private school filled with a bunch of snobs. The girls were cute but none of them couldn't compare to my Riley.

As I walked into my new seventh grade classroom, I couldn't help but notice that all eyes were on me. Whispers filled the air as I made my way to an empty seat in the back. The girls were clearly excited about my presence, saying things like "He's so cute" and "I heard his dad is a mafia boss!" This caught my attention, as I knew it was all because of my family's status.

I rolled my eyes, knowing all too well why they were so interested in me. After all, my dad was a mafia boss and my grandfather was the mayor of this town.

Suddenly, I remembered the one girl that mattered the most to me, Riley. The girl I had hurt.

My head dropped as I thought about all the things I'd done and how I had ruined any chance of being with her.

A voice broke me out of my thoughts. "I love his bad boy vibes," a raven-haired girl said. Another followed up with, "He's so not your type, he's mine." She said.

I looked up and smirked at them, knowing they only liked me for my family status and my good looks. But the one girl, I loved, Riley... I knew that I could never make up for how I'd hurt her.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a raven-haired girl looking at me, clearly enjoying my "bad boy vibes." All I could do was smirk and shake my head, knowing that girls only wanted me for my looks and my family name. I took my seat in the back, knowing that no girl would ever replace Riley in my heart.

"Omg, he totally looked at me." She said to her friend. "I'm Alexis." The Raven hair girl said to me. "Carter." I said not even glancing in her direction.