(Don't mind the book name)💀

~Disclaimer~

This is my way of coping up with my feelings, my life situation or anything i have in my head.

In my head, doesn't mean i will be imaginative but of course this would include my personal opinions.

(dedicated to some of my real life friends who are on mt although we are not mt friends) -- By any chance if you know me in real life ..If by any chance you see it..please don't read it. I hope you would respect my privacy. Ofcourse it's hopeless to think you would really do it. (⁠─⁠.⁠─⁠|⁠|)..So if you guys want to see you getting criticised here, you're welcome:) And i know how shameless you're...! Go read it and i won't worry if you don't talk to me the next day;)乁⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠o⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠ㄏ Judge me and i could careless about it 👄...... fuck

To readers : Kind of a personal journal i would like to call. I will be prone to speak about things openly and it includes my personal life, so think before you want to continue.

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24 July 2023 15:48

The question again arises , where do i start?I just now got advice on the internet to share my feelings to my family, friends or any close ones. Haa? Are they kidding? I mean, who wants to do it?

I don't wanna be seen as someone so vulnerable. Whenever i share some of my inner feelings to anyone i think about it for days about whether they think if i overly did it? or did i just victimize myself in their eyes? Or might they be cringing? Even if the thing i shared was a very small thing Because why not! People here are not too good nor am I. But i just feel a better way for me.

I have seen people here...they would call you an attention seeker for telling you your miseries. Just because they don't want to bear the guilt of it, they just blame the people who vulnerably opened themselves to them. Na! They won't say it on your face..no! Heck no they will wait to hear all the things as they feel like a spicy food being cooked and then when you're away...they will share it to all the people around your back telling how self victimizing you are.

No..it never happened to me. I am not a fool to do that. I may look like a hell of a fool.People may think i have shared my every detail to them but they know nothing. It's cliché to say but they don't even know the surface of my life, not that they would want to know...i mean people are too tangled up in their life themselves, isn't it?

but how easy it would be for them to judge my whole life just by something- some mere feelings i show to them..and who would know if what i told them is true or not????

Then how do I know it all about how people badly perceive other's vulnerabilities?, of course I have seen it happening by my friends ..My friends opened the closed pages of a girl of my class in front of us .. of course I am not telling it about what it was .but mostly family issues!...

And the audacity they got to say about her on her back that she seeks attention! Ahhh! I even left that 0% hope of sharing my problems with them!

It must be feeling blessed right? I mean to get a real friend or any real anyone who you could trust on ...no fear of being judged.. nothing.

Then it might be for people like me, Writing here may cause ease...I wonder if it could work.I would want to describe the details but i am not feeling to write anymore.

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[I am writing this journal from a month or ago and many chapters are there which i didn't publish of course!..

I just realised i didn't even introduce myself, might do it the next chapter because of course i am the main character so why not?]

(i am more worried about whether I will delete this chapter or not?)]

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Should i attach a quote in the end? Let's see. It can be random though.

here it is... toodles!

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