It has been two years since our separation occur.

I still can't forget you or move on from the memories that we build for four years. You were my greatest and the best love in all my life. I thought I have already moved on from you but when you said hello last night I felt like I would explode of excitement, like I was in love again.....

Everything I did to forget you was wasted by just one hello, one second, one message. I don't want to risk everything like I did when we're together. I guess I should reply, right? Turns out he wanted to chat with me through some coffee, so to my surprise my stupid head agreed.

Oh, trust me I didn't want to, or did I?

------------THE FOLLOWING DAY-------------

It was 2:30 in the morning when he called me to come downstairs at my house. There he was standing by his car. I stared at him for a minute then I snapped back to reality, that is one sign that I haven't moved on from him. I mean why couldn't I?

He has deep blue eyes, and a muscular figure, I mean no woman could ever resist that....

Then I woke up from reality AGAIN for I don't know how many times and shit I knew I fell again

We went to our local coffee shop a few blocks away.

We both got the same exact coffee just like the past. When we got our coffee the first thing Leo said to me was "Remember that night?", I replied

"Yes, the rain was pouring that night, and you hugged me tight, that memory lives in my brain"

He looked at me and giggled, "I can't believe that you would remember it so clearly" he said to me in a warm tone.

It was 4 in the morning,,, so we decided to drive at a near beach when we got there we sat at the back of your truck. He looked at me and said "I missed you a lot" as I looked at his face smiling at the sea view, the waves waving beautifully, thinking why did I agree to chat with this guy, was it fate?

I really don't know how to explain what I felt for this guy....

As I lay my head on his shoulders as we watched the sunrise with beautiful colors in the sky

I hate falling again but is it really fate or do we just need to come clear on what we really feel for each other........

I'm scared to fall for the same guy I dated for 4 years

---------------THE END---------------------

Hey guys thanks for visiting this story

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7:26 am

I woke up with him driving me back home, I didn't realize that I fell asleep while I was laying my head on his shoulders....

"Good morning princess" he said,

"Shit, I'm late for work" as I said in panic,

"Well someone forgot that it was Saturday today" he laughed because of my stupidity

" I'm taking you to breakfast before dropping you off at home" he said to me ".

I sighed with relief thinking that I am so lucky to have him by my side once again, but that doesn't mean that I have already developed feelings for him, it's just like a bond, you know?

"Can I?" he said,

"what?" I replied,

"can I court you once again?" he asked me.

I was shocked by his question, i was not ready to get hurt again, and the same man too. Jeez it was too much. I tried so hard to forget him for months i can't let it be in vain almost dying to the process of forgetting him ...

As words go through my mind he snapped his fingers in front of my face to get back to reality

"You don't have to give me the answer that fast you know, I'm always ready to wait for your response" he said to me softly....

"Thank you for understanding me"

8:45 am

We got inside the breakfast place and the place was so fancy and gorgeous, like billionaire level GORGEOUS it's the most fancy breakfast place I have ever seen

"So this is my mother's business" he said to me,

And I was just shocked because we're dating for four years and I only knew about it till now. Then he took me to a room where his mother was working,,, and she was shocked to the core because she knew about our separation and seeing me there only means one thing.....

After breakfast, he dropped me home.

Little did he know that I was going to my physiatrist....

I didn't tell him while moving on from him, I got diagnosed with clinical depression for 5 months now, and it bought me to seven suicidal attempts and sleepless nights and a lot of self harm.

After my physciatrist session was over, i drove home and had the urge to harm myself, so i did it i did not know why but all i know was i woke up in the hospital due to a loss of blood

When I woke up I saw him outside my hospital room talking to the doctor

I never thought he would be the one who would rush me into the hospital

Turns out he called me for 25 times and went into my house, he searched my whole house then finally found me in the bathroom, he called 911 in shock...

Never thought that my "EX" would find me laying on the ground with blood

A few minutes he came in

"Why didn't you told me?" he said to me,

"Do I have to?" I replied to his question in an annoyed tone,

"Yes, you have to talk about these things to me, I can help you" he said in a calm and worried tone,

The thought of him worrying about me feels like we're still together, trust me it feels very sh*tty

I got out of the hospital in a few days, but he drove me to make sure that I was safe and wouldn't attempt another suicide.

He helped me clean my house then left for work cause he's a doctor.

I was doing fine and at ease before he even entered my life again what is happening to me?

im scared to fall inlove with him again

I felt so stupid and cried for hours, thinking what is happening to me?What is the reason of him coming back? Why? Im not some charity case that you could trash then come back when you feel like it...

i need to go and find my own path..

____________the following day-----------------

I called him and invited him to have tea at my house, he agreed.

It was 3 pm and he was still not here, in a few minutes he was still not here. I called his mother because i was worried about him. She picked up the phone crying,

" Please come to ***** hospital, something happened to Leonard" his mother said to me.

I quickly grabbed my car keys and rushed to the hospital

I ran quickly to his mother sitting outsider of the operating room crying

"What happened?" I asked his mother in panic,

"Leonard never told you, did he?" she asked me

"I beg your pardon?" I said in a confused tone

"Leo was diagnosed with a heart condition, he found out when you're still together. The reason why he broke up with you is that his heart could give up at any second, he was scared that you would feel extremely depressed when he was gone, so he just took the risk and made you move on. But I made him chase you once again because I know both of you deserve a happy ending even when I know it can end up at a bad state."

I was in shock of his mother's words, my knees suddenly felt numb and weak, suddenly my legs dropped as I burst into tears, he's mother hugged me making me calm down.

I never imagined that I made myself think that he was only using me when he needed me I never thought that it would get to this point. I feel so stupid and angry at myself, he was only caring for me at the end he still chose me, he still thinks about what I feel at the end. He was only caring for me.

At the end I feel like I'm the only bad guy.

Now I don't know what I would do without his presence at my life, I prayed that I could still hear his voice, feel his skin, smell his scent, look into his eyes, and eat the food he makes with his bare hands. I prayed that i can still love him with all my love and emotions, i wasn't ready to let go of this man...