20th May 2019, Monday.

At the end of spring and summer’s arrival.

This season, the temperature difference between the Jiang Nan region’s day and night was huge. During the day, even if one was wearing shorts he could heat up like a hot dog; yet during the night he had to curl up on his bed, freezing like a cold bird.

Jiang Nan University City.

2.30PM in the afternoon was exactly the time students started classes. Yet Song Shuhang stayed in his dormitory alone, his computer desk pulled to his bedside, making it convenient for him to watch movies in any posture.

Song Shuhang did not have a habit of skipping classes. For the earlier half of last night, the weather was hot and stuffy, so in his dreams he executed a move called ‘Twin Dragon Emerging From The Seas’ and knocked over his blanket.

During the later half of the night, the air temperature dramatically decreased. With only a pair of shorts on his body, Song Shuhang was forced into bitter hardship. While slumbering away, both his hands strenuously groped the bed, seeking all over, yet he couldn’t find the blanket. In the end he could only curl up like a mantis shrimp, shivering in the tyrannical cold of midnight.

When the sun rose, Song Shuhang had already become a member of the great seasonal catching cold army.

His roommate had already helped him apply for time off for today’s classes.

Afterwards, he took cold medicine and slept till now.

The high fever was suppressed, but his body was still weak. In this condition there was no way he could attend classes. Therefore, he could only stay in the dormitory bored and lonely, and watch movies.

On the monitor, the movie’s playback bar slowly trickled towards the end, but Song Shuhang was not absorbed into its contents at all.

“Has the medicine’s effects still not worn off? I’m so sleepy.” Song Shuhang yawned, he felt his eyelids getting heavy.

‘Di di di~’ Suddenly, at the bottom right of the computer screen, the chat application’s icon jumped.

This meant that someone added him as a friend, or invited him to join a chat group.

“Who added me?” Song Shuhang mumbled, he extended his hand and gently tapped on the bottom right of the computer’s touchscreen, prompting the notification to appear.

[Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch(＊＊＊＊＊＊) has requested to add you as a friend.] Additional Information: None.

Yellow Mountain’s True Monarch? Just who would use such an odd nickname?

“Is he a student from my class?” Song Shuhang wondered silently. He couldn’t help but think of the others in his class who clearly were already in university yet were still full of youthful delusions. If it were them, they would definitely pick an odd nickname like this.

Once he thought this way, he tapped on ‘Accept’.

Immediately, what followed was another system notification popping up.

[Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch has invited you to join the chat group ‘Nine Provinces (1) Group’, Do You Accept?]

Song Shuhang proceeded to tap on ‘Accept’.

‘Mt. Books’ Huge Pressure’ has accepted to join ‘Nine Provinces (1) Group’.

[You have agreed to join the group. Please make an introduction of yourself to the other members!] There was even a smiley sent by the system.

In recent years, these chatting softwares had been becoming more and more human-like.

After the chain of notifications popped up, Song Shuhang resolutely closed the notification and the group chat’s window. He was now filled with sleepiness, where would he get the energy to care about the group he joined?

Anyways, his group chat settings had always been ‘Do not notify new posts, only show numbers unread’, messages by the group wouldn’t pop-up and disturb him, it would only show the total number of new messages in the background.

After he wakes up, he could flip open the chat record, then he would know what kind of group he joined, and the chat record would also not be lost.

His eyelids got heavier and heavier……

The movie’s playback bar continued to move forward tenaciously, but Song Shuhang’s consciousness got more and more fuzzy.

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

In Nine Provinces (1) Group, lurkers emerged as soon as they noticed the new member’s entry.

North River’s Loose Practitioner: “Has the new member that Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch invited come in yet? It has already been a year since a new member joined right?”

Another ID, ‘Su Clan’s Ah Qi’ speedily replied, “There’s a new fellow daoist? Which region of Huaxia is this fellow daoist from? Which cave does fellow daoist cultivate in? What’s fellow daoist’s Dao name? What level of cultivation is fellow daoist at?”

(TL: Huaxia is the archaic name for China)

This chain of questions, why did they seem somewhat strange?

At approximately the same time, a new message came from the ID Mad Saber Three Waves, “What is the new fellow daoist’s gender? Are you a fairy or no? If you are, give the size of your bust, waist, and buttocks, and post a photo!”

Seeing the new messages by Su Clan’s Ah Qi and Mad Saber Three Waves, quite a number of other members’ mouths twitched.

“Brother Three Waves, is your zodiac indeed a goldfish?” North River’s Loose Practitioner sighed, “You better not invite death by recklessness again. What if Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch once again invited some big time senior in?”

Everything was good about Three Waves, he’s friendly, loyal, and loves helping others, so his relationship with others was pretty good. The only problem is he liked to speak pervertedly, in a way that invites death.

It turns out that this fella’s luck was so low that it gives people goosebumps, he always couldn’t help but invite death from recklessness, and the ones he offended were always big time seniors. Since those big time seniors were usually bored without any source of entertainment, they were naturally very happy to torture Mad Saber Three Waves who personified entertainment delivered to their front doors..

“I kneel and beg you not to mention the words “big time seniors”, they are a dark shadow in this majesty’s heart.” Mad Saber Three Waves sent a line of “crying face” emojis.

(TL: Mad Saber Three Waves called himself “本座” but there’s no English term for this so I translated it as “this majesty” if you have a better term to suggest do let me know!)

Four years ago this crappy mouth of his offended a beautiful ‘big time senior’, and was miserably tortured…… That big time senior continuously tortured him for an entire year and four months. You didn’t hear wrongly, a whole year and four months! When he thought of that tumultuous and inhuman times, his eyes turned moist.

Immediately after Three Waves spoke, emojis of naughty smiles popped up one after another in the group, they were not even trying to conceal how much they were enjoying his misery.

The group channel showed that among the last eight people who sent messages, 6 of them neatly sent a string of smiling emojis.

“You bunch of people who take joy in others’ calamity, this majesty will remember each and every one of you. Do not let this majesty meet you, otherwise this majesty will definitely let you people taste the strength of my 72 Paths of Rapid Saber!” Mad Saber Three Waves angrily said. He was very confident in his Rapid Saber. Among the 6 people who were leaving naughty smiles, none of them were a match for him in a one on one.

The moment after Mad Saber Three Waves spoke.

Another naughty smile emoji popped up, belonging to Su Clan’s Ah Qi.

Su Clan’s Ah Qi happily followed with: “When do you want fight one on one?”

Obviously, Su Clan’s Ah Qi didn’t have any intention of taking joy in others’ calamity, he just wanted to fight with someone.

“……” Mad Saber Three Waves immediately withered.

It was because he couldn’t beat Ah Qi!

His cultivation was profound. He had already reached the 5th level late stage Spirit Lord, and was just a hair’s breath from 6th level Spirit Lord, but he couldn’t beat Ah Qi in a fight.

His 72 Paths Saber technique was both fast and fierce, and he also possessed lightning fast body techniques, yet he still couldn’t defeat Ah Qi.

He was known as Mad Saber, his wrath terrifies even he himself, but he just couldn’t beat Ah Qi!

When the others in the group saw Three Waves wilting, they unbridledly sent lines of smiling emojis once again.

“……” This time, Mad Saber Three Waves could only sullenly post a line of dots.

The people in the group had been noisy for so long, yet they still hadn’t heard a word from the new member, which made them feel a little baffled.

“Our new fellow daoist is not making a sound?” North River’s Loose Practitioner asked.

That’s right, because of the cold medicine’s effects, Song Shuhang had once again entered a half asleep state.

At this time, Su Clan’s Ah Qi happily sent a piece of news: “I took a look, the new fellow daoist is called ‘Mt. Books’ Huge Pressure’. Has anyone heard of an expert with this dao name? This dao name sounds a little like a scholarly sect’s practitioner? This is so exciting! These years, scholarly sects’ practitioners have been living very deeply in seclusion so it’s not even possible to find them. It has already been nearly a hundred years since I’ve fought with them!

Now that I think about it, scholarly sects’ practitioners are even more unwilling to fight than buddhist sects’. Not only are they adept at glib speech, but their fists are also hard. Moreover, when the fight gets interesting they will heroically hum poetry to make things multiple times more fun! I love fighting them the most.”

“Ah Qi, when it comes to new fellow daoists, are you forever only interested in whether they could be a good fight, and whether it is fun to fight them?” Mad Saber Three Waves sent a crying face emoji. This is practically an evil tyrant’s way you know?!

“Erm.” Su Clan’s Ah Qi felt a little embarrassed.

North River’s Loose Practitioner smirked nastily and said, “Could it be he’s another big time senior who doesn’t know how to use the chatting tool?”

Once he said that, everyone started to feel like, isn’t this the scene of being ignored?

That’s right, right about four years ago there seemed to have been a senior who came out of closed-door cultivation after over a hundred years. She too had difficulties getting on the chatting software, and was added to the group by Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch. Yet because she didn’t know how to type, she couldn’t send messages.

Afterwards, someone named Mad Saber Three Waves happily spoke like a pervert in front of this senior, asked for the senior to post her three sizes, asked her to send her photo, and also asked for voice chat etc.

Then…… A few days after, Mad Saber Three Waves saw this senior with his own eyes. She was a very pretty senior, dazzling and beautiful like the bright moon in the night sky.

What followed after that was, this pretty senior tortured Mad Saber Three Waves for an entire one year and four months, before she left perfectly satisfied.

At this time, Mad Saber Three waves suddenly kneeled.

“Mt. Yellow?” This time, someone with the ID ‘Medicine Master’ sent a message.

An unfathomable and brief message, with no head nor tails.

Luckily the group members had long been accustomed to Medicine Master’s short messaging habits, is he asking where the group master Mt. Yellow True Monarch is?

The reason Medicine Master’s messages are short wasn’t because he had a cold and proud nature. Instead, it was because he was doing two-finger push-ups while in handwriting mode, which made his speed outrageously slow. When he increased the number of words written there would also be more chances of a mistake, and to keep deleting and rewriting was peerlessly painful. This was why Medicine Master’s messages were as short as possible. As time passed, it became like this, a socializing style with words as rare as gold.

“He went offline immediately after sending the invitation, I heard his family’s treasured Great Devil Dog got angry and left home again, Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch chased after it again.”

“……” Medicine Master.

“In that case, we can only wait for our new fellow daoist to learn how to use the chatting tool before we chat.” Su Clan’s Ah Qi sighed. They all knew first impression was the strongest, and believed that the new member was also one of them.

Seeing that the new fellow daoist had no reaction, the others online weren’t entertained, then gradually lurked.

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

Approximately one hour later, Song Shuhang gradually became more clear-headed as he woke up.

“I remember that just a moment ago, someone added me to a group, the Nine Provinces (1) group.” he muttered softly. Conveniently expanding the chat tool on the lower right part of the screen, he brought up the Nine Provinces (1)’s chat window.

What kind of group is this?

In an instant, one hour’s worth of chat logs appeared on the screen.

Song Shuhang roughly skimmed through it.

Fellow Daoist? Cultivation cave? Cultivation level?

There’s even seniors? True Monarch? This majesty? Hunting down the Great Devil Dog?

All kinds of vocabulary straight from Xianxia Novels.

The way people talked in this group was also very peculiar, ancient, but not entirely ancient, plain, but not entirely plain. This type of speech gave people the feel of a modern person trying to sound ancient. Unfortunately, lacking knowledge in the fundamentals of “classical chinese”, it led to a very awkward exchange.

“Chi~~” Song Shuhang started audibly laughing.

It seems that this was a XianXia aficionado group?

Oh no, this definitely wasn’t the normal Xianxia fan group!

Every single member in this group had given themselves a dao name, the place they live in was called a cultivation cave, even the pet the group master lost was described as family’s Great Devil Dog abandoning his home. There’s even someone who proclaimed that he had not fought with any scholarly sects for over a hundred years or something. Doesn’t that mean that person claimed to have already lived several hundred years?

Looking at this log, Song Shuhang developed a feeling of shame.

“To be obsessed to this degree, it seems like they have already been afflicted by Chuunibyou syndrome. Furthermore, it is a very specific Huaxia-flavored Xianxia disease.” Song Shuhang concluded.

Seems like, this was the Xianxia chuunibyou victims’ assembling point!

This was his first impression of the members in ‘Nine Provinces (1) Group.’

But why did they decide to add him?

Looking at the account information of Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch, Song Shuhang determined that this person was not his classmate, he definitely not did recognise this guy at all.

Was this an accidental invite?

People always say that the second year of middle school is a rebellious age.

Everyone more-or-less goes through that phase, but only some people show it to the world to see, while others tuck it deep inside their hearts. This was also the difference between obvious trouble and secret trouble.

Song Shuhang could be considered to have matured early. That phase of his life came quick and left even quicker.

Therefore, when he reached his second year of middle school, while his classmates were still stuck in their wuxia, superhero, immortal dreams and constantly brandishing their “18 Falling Dragon Palms” while transforming into superheroes. Song Shuhang had long lost those desires.

Our world’s laws of physics were already so precise. To be able to jump three-storeys? To be able to summon a golden dragon with your palm strikes? To be able to fly by wearing your underwear on the outside? Those things were simply impossible!

However, he still liked xianxia novels, superhero movies and the like. Perhaps deep inside his heart, he still hoped that one day, superheroes, aliens, and immortals could appear in front of him.

He obviously knew that all these were impossible, but weirdly, he still looked forward to that day with anticipation. Could this be mankind’s talent?

Song Shuhang laughed as he closed the group’s chat window, however, he didn’t leave the group.

He felt that the people in the Nine Provinces (1) Group were interesting, and those chat records of the group could make anybody who sees it feel embarrassed. From a spectator’s point of view, it was unexpectedly interesting. So before the group master decided to kick him out, he plans to first lurk around, then take a look at the various kinds of interesting chat records to kill boredom.

On the computer’s screen, the movie was still playing. It seemed like it was a horror flick. Every single plot device you could find in horror was shown, evidently proving that this movie was directed by a genius horror director at the peak of his performance. It was said that this movie had made even middle-aged men cry in fright, and frightened a ton of people to the point of being afraid of going to the bathroom alone.

However, Song Shuhang did not receive any feelings of fright. Instead, he pulled the progress bar backwards. After watching for a while more, he yawned again and slowly transitioned from his sitting posture to a lying posture, finding his eyelids to also become increasingly heavy.

If that genius director knew that his movie only had this little effect, wouldn’t he cry?

Dazed, Song Shuhang had a fanciful dream.

It was an extremely fun and beautiful dream, a really beautiful dream. There were immortals, superheroes, and all kinds of mythical lands.

To live a long and free life. To be able to move the mountains and the oceans. Tread through the world wielding a sword. Since ancient times, how many people have had this dream? Only, as one grew older, reality broke this dream. People could only tuck it deep in their hearts, and not think about it.

In the end, dreams are only dreams.

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

The next day. Tuesday. 21st May. 1AM.

Inside the group chat, the group master Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch finally came online.

The moment he got online, North River’s Loose Practitioner popped up with a question: “True Monarch, who is ‘Mt. Books’ Huge Pressure’ you added yesterday? Where does he cultivate from?”

“The person added yesterday? You guys haven’t exchanged words yet? That is the daughter of esteemed me’s old friend who is born in this era, it seems like her aptitude isn’t bad. So young and she is already at the peak of 3rd stage – Houtian, just about to reach 4th stage – Xiantian. She is truly extraordinary.” Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch replied laughing.

“If she’s born in this era, then her age probably does not exceed 40? To be able to achieve the peak of 3rd stage – Houtian, at such an age, this person truly is a genius.” North River’s Loose Practitioner inwardly nodded. Yet the dao name that person had taken was very odd, ‘Mt. Books’ Huge Pressure’ didn’t seem like a dao name.

North River’s Loose Practitioner was still thinking when suddenly, Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch said, “Huh? Esteemed me’s old friend’s daughter’s dao name isn’t ‘Mt. Books’ Huge Pressure’! Then, who the hell is this Mt. Books’ Huge Pressure?

“…..” Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch’s face turned into the shape ‘囧’.

This wasn’t some random person. True Monarch, this was the unknown person you added yesterday.

Probing the situation, North River’s Loose Practitioner asked, “True Monarch, could it be that you have added the wrong person?”

“Let esteemed me check it out.”

After a short moment.

With a line of cold sweat emojis, Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch sent out a couple of words to the chat: “I truly added the wrong person. The ID number’s only difference was the middle character. Esteemed me entered a 9 instead of an 8. Never would’ve expected that esteemed me could make such a mistake.”

North River’s Loose Practitioner sarcastically laughed: “Just as I said, even if one has assimilated into modern society, there still wouldn’t be a person who would set their dao name as ‘Mt. Books’ Huge Pressure’ right!”

Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch followed up by sending another line of cold sweat emojis.

Afterwards, he hastily brought his good friend’s daughter into the chat once more.

The group notification prompted: ‘Spiritual Butterfly Island’s Soft Feather’ has entered Nine Provinces (1) Group.

This name kept up with the Nine Provinces (1) Group’s style, with the rich Xianxia air assaulting your senses. As for Mt. Books’ Huge Pressure, this name surely must’ve been something strange that snuck in.

The moment someone new joined, Mad Saber Three Waves immediately emerged: “Oh? The new fellow daoist is a fairy? Post your photo and report the size of your bust, waist, and buttocks! If you’re beautiful why not we date?”

Mad Saber Three Waves has lurked for a long time. His zodiac may be a goldfish, but in the end his memorization capabilities could still last more than 3 seconds. Yesterday he was already reminded that he should avoid offending big time seniors, so today he carefully lurked and evaluated the situation.

Hearing Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch state that this person was his good friend’s daughter, and that her cultivation level was at the peak of the 3rd stage – Houtian, Mad Saber Three Waves became at ease. If it wasn’t someone from the older generation, then he could tease as much as he wanted, satiating his cravings.

In this group, newcomers were extremely rare, so he had to fiercely hold it in all this time.

The moment Mad Saber Three Waves opened his mouth, Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch’s face immediately darkened.

“…..” Spiritual Butterfly Island’s Soft Feather sent a line of dots in the chat, then sent another line: “As it is late, this old man’s daughter has already proceeded to meditate and practice. Her number will temporarily be used by this old man until fellow daoist Mt. Yellow adds me to this group. Ahem… I’ve long heard that Nine Province (1) Group’s fellow daoist, Three Waves is exceptionally outstanding, easygoing and has the gift of the gab. It seems a hundred gossips cannot compare to a single meeting. Fellow daoist Three Waves, this old man appreciates you. Another day, I’ll invite you to drink with me.”

Mad Saber Three Waves immediately felt awkward. To think that while he was flirting around with a girl, the father would turn up! In this world, there is nothing as shameful as that. He urgently wanted to find a hole in the ground and get into it.

Fortunately, it seemed that this senior had an amiable temperament as he lightly brushed it off with a few words.

Continuing on, this senior introduced himself to the rest of the group that was online and requested that everybody take care of his daughter in the future. Then, he finally lurked before he disconnected.

Seeing that this senior left, Mad Saber Three Waves let out a breath of air, cheerfully he went, “Luckily, it seems like this senior can take a joke. Perhaps in the future, I’ll have an opportunity to talk to Lady Soft Feather herself.”

“…..” Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch.

“…..” North River’s Loose Practitioner.

The hard to come by Medicine Master then emerged. He’s a man who held his words like gold. He rarely spoke out, yet this time he actually entered four words: “Hoping for too much.”

“?” Three Waves was confused.

But Medicine Master who treated words like gold naturally wouldn’t explain any further.

“Look at the new member’s dao name’s prefix.” North River’s Loose Practitioner explained, if one doesn’t court death he wouldn’t die, will brother Three Waves forever be unable to understand this principle?

“Prefix? Spiritual Butterfly Island?” It was as if Mad Saber Three Waves still had no reaction.

“That’s right, Spiritual Butterfly Island! To add on to that a senior! Does that not remind you of someone?” North River’s Loose Practitioner pointed out.

After quite a while, Mad Saber Three Waves suddenly understood, and sent a line of ‘kneeling’ emojis, “It’s that Spiritual Butterfly Respected Sage that fusses over every single detail?”

Honourable Spiritual Butterfly was a strong senior. Everything about him was good; he’s upright and chivalrous……. It’s just that he liked to argue with others about all kinds of insignificant things, and had reached the peak of the dao of fussing over minor details. While others may fuss over minor details, he fusses over every single detail!

North River’s Loose Practitioner was angry to the point that his mouth was twitching: “This wasn’t how I warned you!”

Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch sighed, he truly couldn’t bear to keep watching. “Three Waves, that old friend of mine only minimized the chat group, he hasn’t gone offline.”

Which means…… The chat record might be seen.

No, it would definitely be seen!

Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch truly couldn’t bear to keep watching Three Waves court death, no matter what, he was still his chat group’s junior.

“Fuck me, I’m dead.” It was as if Mad Saber Three Waves has peeked into the near future where Spiritual Butterfly Respected Sage would come to pay him a visit, and execute all sorts of torture onto him. His eyes were once again moist. It seems like this time, he may have offended an even more troublesome big time senior?

At this time, Three Waves screamed, “True Monarch, please help me intercede!”

Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch gave an emoji that showed a cold back figure.

The people of the chat group no longer paid attention to Three Waves’ wails that sounded like those of a defeated dog, and changed topics.

North River’s Loose Practitioner asked the group master, “How are you going to deal with ‘Mt. Books’ High Pressure’?”

Su Clan’s Ah Qi said, “Do you want to kick him? After all he’s just an ordinary person, and so he’s not really suitable to chat with us.”

“Ahem, since it was an accidental invite by esteemed me, it can also be considered fate. Let esteemed me calculate a divination, then decide how to handle this.” Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch replied. The main point was that he suddenly invited the other party into the group, if he just kicked him now, won’t it mean that he loses a lot of face?

Which was why at the very least he should use divination to pretend for a bit as an excuse, then kick the person afterwards.

First, this way, it would demonstrate his grand and magnificent style.

Second, not long ago he suddenly felt a great interest towards divination. He had studied it for a few months, so his hands were now itching for action. No matter what he does, he liked to calculate its divine value beforehand.

With that said, using the book 《Tang Verses Song Phrases》 as a base for his divination, he waved his hands, and executed a secret technique of divination. This shamanic power extracted the meaning from the lyrics of a poem, and formed the shape of a trigram.

His execution of divination this time went extremely smoothly. Since Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch first began learning how to divinate, this was the first time he experienced this feeling while executing the divination technique!

With a happy face he looked at the divinatory trigram’s results.

Then……

Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch’s face turned downcast.

Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch’s complexion turned ugly.

He looked at the divinatory trigram: Willing to be two birds flying wing to wing in the sky, on earth willing to be two trees with branches intertwined.

(TL: This means wishing for conjugal bliss)

In his memory this verse was written by a poet Bai Juyi during the Tang Dynasty, a true classic. From then on it was used by people to describe love?

Immediately, Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch felt depressed.

Wing to wing my ***, intertwining branches my ***! Willing to be a intertwining branch, esteemed me might as well hang myself on the southeast branch!

(TL: Suicide)

It can’t be that he, the great Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch has to go to that likely male ‘Mt. Books’ High Pressure’ and conduct an inseparable world-shaking romance? This led him to think of Long Yangjun from Huaxia’s Warring States period. This made him feel as if he just swallowed a cockroach, ridiculously disgusted.

“This definitely is because esteemed me’s cultivation level in divination techniques is insufficient. After all I have only studied it for a month…… So esteemed me should try calculating the divinatory trigram once more! That’s right, this must be it!” Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch once again executed the divination secret technique, the deep energies once again flipped 《Tang Verses Song Phrases》.

Again, the meaning of another verse was extracted.

This time the divination secret technique revolved incredibly smoothly, Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch felt great, it will surely hit the target!

He looked towards the divinatory trigram.

Then……

True Monarch’s face paled.

Divinatory trigram: “After being together for a long time, even if a pair has been separated, how can their relationship easily change from sunrise to sunset!”

Sunset your grandfather!

“Esteemed me doesn’t believe in this supernatural bullshit!” Mt. Yellow True Monarch once again reset the trigram.

This time he felt even more mighty. Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch felt his divinatory trigram cultivation level increasing by leaps and bounds at this moment!

This time will hit the mark for sure!

He looked down to see the divinatory trigram: “Turn back suddenly, and discover that your destined person is there, by the waning lantern lights.”

“…….”

“Deep breaths, deep breaths.” Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch had firmly decided on what to do with the 《Tang Verses Song Phrases》. Tilting his head 45 degrees upwards, he looked depressedly up towards the sky, what a melancholic feeling!

Continuing on, True Monarch resolutely tore apart the hardcover version of 《Tang Verses Song Phrases》 in his hands. While ripping it apart he forcefully nodded: “Sure enough, esteemed me does not possess talent in the area of divination techniques and wasn’t made to be a divination master. Therefore, the divinatory trigram’s results that esteemed me acquired must all be failures!”

He then tossed the torn 《Tang Verses Song Phrases》 to one side, in his heart he silently vowed never again to cheaply divinate anything!

With the hardcover Verses Phrases torn and thrown to the side, True Monarch typed, “That Mt. Books’ High Pressure…… Let’s keep him for now. Esteemed me just divinated, and discovered that he and esteemed me are connected by fate. Adding him to the group was no random accident, it was inevitable! As for what the future holds for him, that will depend on his luck.”

True Monarch used vocabulary from various divination techniques. As for the divinatory trigram’s results, he wouldn’t reveal a word even if someone beat him to death!

Damn, even if there was fate, that fate definitely was a bastardly fate!

“Then let’s leave it be for now. Anyways he would probably leave the group soon enough. Come to think of it, what was the result of True Monarch’s divinatory calculation?” North River’s Loose Practitioner had heard before that True Monarch was learning divination techniques, and so he was very curious as to what this senior had divined.

“…..” Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch: “Oh right, you guys continue chatting, I have an urgent matter so I’ll leave first.”

Finishing his words, he rapidly went offline leaving behind the bewildered North River’s Loose Practitioner.

The sun hung high in the sky. It was precisely noon.

Since his roommates knew that Song Shuhang had not yet recovered from his cold, they had already asked for another day of sick leave for him so that he could rest well.

“Why do I feel like my illness is getting more serious? Is it because I haven’t been exercising much lately, which led to my body’s condition worsening?” Song Shuhang wondered.

Beside him, there was a bowl of century egg porridge. His roommates had brought this for him during lunchtime.

“What a nice bunch!” Song Shuhang unhesitantly placed them in his friend zone.

After he’d slept for god knows how long, he was so hungry that his chest stuck to his back. He then raked the century egg porridge into his mouth before he switched on his computer again.

When he habitually opened the group chat software, he saw the red dot that specified the number of latest messages in the ‘Nine Provinces (1) Group’.

Song Shuhang curiously extended his hand to open the Nine Provinces (1) Group tab, wanting to see what the Xianxia aficionado chunnibyous had talked about throughout the night.

The chat logs of the early morning surfaced before his eyes.

North River’s Loose Practitioner’s questions related to the ‘newcomer’, Mad Saber Three Waves’ death-seeking ways, the interesting senior from the Spiritual Butterfly Island. There’s also Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch who had claimed he had divined that they were brought together by fate just by using a divination technique once.

As he looked at the chatlogs, the images of these few people began to fill Shuhang’s mind.

“So it’s because they added the wrong person. Like I said, I don’t even recognise this Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch.”

Judging from the chatlogs, it seems like not just anyone could freely join this group? A member’s recommendation was needed to enter.

Moreover, the age of this bunch of xianxia aficionados all didn’t seem to be young. There was even someone who had a daughter.

To add-on, from his tone, it seemed that his daughter was no longer young? Then with some calculations, perhaps he was already forty to fifty years old. Already so old but still stuck in chuuni. His daughter must have suffered a lot.

Skimming through the chat logs, Song Shuhang maintained his lurking mode, unconditionally remaining silent.

Seeing the group members act foolishly was a very interesting thing, but if he joined in, what would it then be considered as? He doesn’t act foolishly anyways.

Therefore, his plan was to just lurk, read the chat logs and get a few laughs everyday.

If there’s one day that he felt that this chat group has become boring, he would just quit Nine Provinces (1) Group.

This was how he had always thought.

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

Unknowingly, ten days had already passed.

June 1st. Saturday, Children’s Day.

[TL: Holiday in China]

Shuhang’s roommates were all half-boarders and half day-schoolers. What that meant was that they stayed in the dorms from to Monday to Friday and went home on weekends. So whenever the weekend came, only one lonely person, him, would be left in the dorms.

Song Shuhang had already recuperated from his cold, but he was still suffering from a stuffy nose and a cough. These coughs from the cold were more troublesome to recover from. If it was not well taken care of, these coughs could last a couple of months.

As he rested on Saturday, Shuhang slept till 8AM before waking up. Then, he went to the cafeteria and ate some lightly flavored food.

With nothing to do, he returned to the dormitory.

After opening his computer, he had already become accustomed to visiting the chat logs of the Nine Provinces (1) Group. This was now his main way of passing the time.

Unknowingly, he had joined this group for 10 days already.

While lurking these past 10 days, he saw that the majority of the people in the group were chatting about which secret realm to intrude, and how much rewards they’ll reap. Other than that, there were also talks about where the evil ghosts and demons had appeared, and whether to tame or behead them.

They talked like all of this was real. Song Shuhang was thinking, if he were to take the contents of this chat log, polish it up a bit, then post it online as a Xianxia Novel, he could make quite a bit of money from royalties.

Within these past 10 days, Song Shuhang recognized quite a number of people from the group.

For example, the rarely seen group master, Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch.

Furthermore, the two moderators who had never appeared since he joined this group, Daluo Sect’s Rainmoon True Monarch and Seven Path’s Respected Sage.

The frequently online included ‘intelligence reporter’ North River’s Loose Practitioner, death-seeking Mad Saber Three Waves, Su Clan’s Ah Qi who wanted to fight with or without speaking, and Medicine Master whose words were as hard to come by as gold.

In addition, there was also the constantly lurking Roaming Cloud Monk Tong Xuan who only posted emoticons even when he surfaced in the chat. It was rumoured that this High Monk has been training in silent meditation. He was not only unable to speak but also even unable to type. At most, he could send an emoticon.

Finally, amongst this somewhat chunni group, there was Spirit Butterfly Island’s Soft Feather who spoke normally. Her number was only one digit away from Song Shuhang’s. Only by riding on her good fortune did Shuhang receive the opportunity to enter this Nine Provinces (1) group.

These reports were obtained by him when North River’s Loose Practitioner passionately introduced the group’s members to Spiritual Butterfly Island’s Soft Feather.

……

Today, upon opening the Nine Provinces (1) Chat, the first thing he saw was a message from the Medicine Master.

The Medicine Master, whose words were as hard to come by as gold, sent: “Improved a foundation pill formula.”

Including the punctuation mark, this was a six word sentence! From the moment he joined the group, Song Shuhang had never seen the Medicine Master post such a long message. So he continued to read on.

The Medicine Master’s news was posted in the early morning.

“Simplified Pill Recipe for Body Tempering Liquid: Ginseng 3 liang, Goji Berries 4 liang 3 qian;Morning Dew Mysterious Grass; Rising Sun Stone 3 liang, Maiden’s Fragrance 1 liang 3 qian….. Fresh Overlord Branch 1 liang, thinly sliced Nine-Yang Scarlet Flame Bamboo 4 liang…..”

[TL: 1 liang \= 50g; 1 qian \= 5g]

Listing 45 types of medicinal ingredients in succession, amongst them, there were familiar looking ingredients like Ginseng and Goji Berries, but there were also the rarely heard Rising Sun Stone and the unheard-before ingredients, Morning Dew Mysterious Grass, Fresh Overlord Branches, the Nine-Yang Scarlet Flame Bamboo and such.

“Follow the proportion of the recipe and put them one by one into the pill furnace, simmer it for five minutes, insert the next herb, then simmer for five minutes, insert next herb and repeat. Pay attention to the fire’s temperature! By using this process, the medicinal liquid would turn into a paste. A successfully completed Body Tempering Liquid should be black in colour, transparent, and with a strong smell..”

Easy to understand!

Out of the 40-over ingredients, there were many that Song Shuhang did not recognize. Curiously, he went only to look them up.

In the pill formula, there were 30 ingredients from common chinese medicine, all for improving your qi, blood and such.

There were still 15 ingredients such as Morning Dew Mysterious Grass, Fresh Overlord Branch, and Scarlet Flame Bamboo which he had never heard of, it can’t be that this ‘Medicine Master’ from the group is making up things right?

“These people have sunk too deep into this delusion, they even made up medicinal formulas! It can’t be that someone would really follow this formula and consume that medicinal paste right?” Song Shuhang wondered.

He was a bit anxious, because as rice could be eaten in any way you like, but medicine could not be randomly taken!

Wouldn’t indiscriminately eating medicine lead to death? How about advising this group of chuunibyou not to? No matter how you put it, Song Shuhang had already been in this chat for 10 days.

If someone in this group happened to die from recklessly eating medicine, he too would feel a bit guilty

Continuing on, upon checking the chat, he realized that some people had already followed the instructions!

It turns out that it was the one that seemed the most normal in the chat, Spiritual Butterfly Island’s Soft Feather, that responded at around 2 in the morning.

Spiritual Butterfly Island’s Soft Feather: “Compared to the old formula, this one is lacking in alot of rare medicinal ingredients. The process is also simplified by a lot. Medicine Master, what temperature should the fire be? I just tried, but the result was it had failed midway. Also, how much of the medicinal effectiveness is decreased in comparison to the original?”

“Effect 2:1.” Said Medicine Master.

Medicine effectiveness was only half from before, after all many precious herbs were lessened. But with such normal mass-oriented medicinal ingredients, to still be able to form a Body Tempering Liquid, it would be considered a profit even so.

“The temperature and specific timings has to be grasped yourself, it cannot be explained.” Medicine Master once again sent a rare long line of words, only when it came to questions about pill concoctions would he clench his teeth and enter a few more words, “Also, if your fire control arts aren’t good enough, I recommend you utilize a treasure for fire control.”

“Thank you senior, I will try again.” Spiritual Butterfly Island’s Soft Feather sent a smiley, then returned to lurking.

Spiritual Butterfly Island’s Soft Feather’s final message was at 2:30AM in the morning, if she went to concoct pills after that, judging from the time she should already have concocted a few furnaces of pills right?

It could kill right? From the start, this bunch of chuunibyous were already very silly, if they ate the wrong medicine too, wouldn’t they become super silly? Originally, they could probably be saved, but right now if they ate that medicine then there would truly be no hope for rescue!

His conscience finally took over, and he couldn’t help but enter into the chat window, “Medicine cannot be randomly taken!”

Right as he was about to knock on the Enter key, and send his first sentence in this group……The chat window vibrated.

A large smiley popped out from the group chat’s avatar.

It was the moderator who hadn’t appeared from when Song Shuhang entered the chat group Seven Path’s Respected Sage, “This recipe is great, I just tried simultaneously concocting it in seven furnaces, and all of them easily succeeded. The success rate is very high. I’ve tried some and the effectiveness of the medicine is slightly more than half of the old version of Body Tempering Liquid. But the cost of manufacturing this recipe is only a tenth of the old recipe.

The Body Tempering Liquid may be the lowest level of pills, but as of today, the spiritual Qi in this realm is becoming thinner and thinner. To us for whom expensive medicines and herbs are rare, this truly is a good thing. Medicine Master, continue to work hard. If you can improve pill recipes of level three and above, then your contributions and efforts will truly be invaluable.”

“To add-on: What’s most important is, the concocting difficulty has been greatly reduced, this can even be passed on to medicinal students to concoct.”

Seven Path’s Respected Sage was a famous senior in the group, and in terms of strength he was even one level higher than Mt. Yellow’s True Monarch. He also had high attainments in terms of pill concoction. In this group, he could be said to be the authority in terms of pill concocting, his praises naturally let a junior like Medicine Master feel extremely heartened.

“Thank you senior, I will work hard!” Medicine Master excitedly entered these many words in a single sentence, moreover with high speeds.

Song Shuhang’s mouth started twitching, there was actually someone who had already concocted and taken that ‘body tempering liquid’?