The Wheat Field

Endless skylines, made out of nothing but crops of wheat, my bare feet felt the soil and I grinned.

I kept running and laughing, the soil sometimes dry, sometimes damp, such a weird feeling, far more entertaining than anything my feet had ever felt.

As my feet moved towards rice fields, growing so delicately, I look down just to pluck an unruly flower, feeling the warmth of the sun as I sweat, however, I didn't feel bothered, I felt like this was the best moment on my tiny world.

But why? Why am I here? I know I'm not supposed to be here. Why now? A strong presence of that day lingers, my bright smile, I still remember how happy I was.

How I wish it was just that! How I wish that memory was just a good day of my childhood, this incredible feeling of light and freedom.

Still, why was I there? On that exact day, out of my entire lifetime. Why that day? Maybe I had felt like that before or even went to the same place multiple times but such memories, beautiful and impeccable, those never stuck around on the mind of a child.

Why do I remember it in such detail? Maybe it was caused by the disparity of that traumatizing day.

It went from light and warmth to dark and cold in a couple of minutes. What I'm talking about is the sight of blood and bodies. And no it wasn't poetic and beautiful as movies make it seem, it was like seeing life leaving me as they could heartedly pluck every single one of my finger, sharp, piercing pain through all of my body.

My parents, my world and my light. It was all gone.

What age was I exactly? Maybe 5 or 6, yet I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I looked down for hours in shock, standing on my weak squiggly legs, until I couldn't handle anymore and had to sit down on the dirty, smelly floor, I sat on that gruesome scarlet color, I wish it didn't smell like something so wrong, so rotten.

The smell was probably the reason my aunt came to see what was happening but I like to think it was the lack of happy, playful noises, that filled my world every day, she carefully opened the sliding glass door and looked at me horrified.

It took some long hours until the police arrived, my world at that time was as small as it could be, we lived in a tiny village with crops all around, with family and friends at every corner, I was always showered with love and affection.

We had a church, a little flea market, and a pharmacy but no police station. We were hours from the capital, and maybe half an hour from another village like ours.

My aunt held me like I was her daughter, as disgusting as I was, I finally burst my eyes out as she said calming lies that somehow comforted me.

How many hours am I away from the wheat field? Now I sleep hearing fast cars and crying babies all night. So why in this cramped apartment I dream of all of that so vividly?

It comes to my mind I don't know what time it is as I lay my head down to sleep I start hearing strident screams.

The Tunnel Road

The sun smiled to me through the car window, the steady sound of the wheels on the asphalt accomplished nothing but irritate me.

The constant buzz, people mad because the road was keeping then away from their morning addictions. I couldn't care less.

Or maybe that was what I was supposed to say but I was curious about it, from the moment they wake up to the moment they pass out of exhaustion, I just wanted to know. I wanted to run away to their happiest days and pretend they were mine.

My day had started horribly, maybe I'm being a little overdramatic. But I didn't think it was funny when Lily's screams echoed through the corridor, coming from her it could be anything, it could be her favorite iPhone case that was lost or it could be that someone was trying to kill us all, we just can never be sure.

I woke up tired, almost as tired as if I was actually on that day, I was flustered and surprised I just ran bumping into stupid places and then I saw Lily in the living room on her uniform, laying on the floor as if it was natural. It was 6:00 am.

She leaned her head to the side and gave me a big stupid smile as she proceeded to screech and point to her side. I sighed and agreed as I slowly sat on the floor.

It's been two hours and Gerald is driving us to school today and she's still going about it, it wasn't a serial killer in our living room, it wasn't a lost possession. It was love that got her screaming at indecent hours to wake up anyone.

The sun was thriving today and I wasn't buying it, I also didn't know how to feel about him coming back, I mean Lily's ex-boyfriend Theodore. He was coming back from Italy after almost a year of ghosting us all.

We the odd trio knew Theo since elementary, even if I was younger they never made me feel left out, Theo was incredibly rude but had the most beautiful green eyes the question was who wouldn't fall for him?

So when middle school came around I was still a kid and well Lily and Leo were already thinking about dating and forgetting about playing tag.

Leo at the time had a new girlfriend each week and Lily and Theo became the new item everyone loved, I didn't know at the time how to feel about anything of this, I still feel kinda confused about my place in all of this.

I just tried to keep it in and let everyone be happy. The thought that it would continue like that made me extremely anxious, however, in the twin's first year of highschool Theo suddenly broke everything with Lily and left to some weird boarding school in Italy and I honestly felt so relieved that it would be the three of us again.

I know it was wrong of me.

But as Lily talks more and more about how "Theodore is even more handsome" and "He probably misses you too!" I get more and more frustrated.

I guess I still can't put my feelings in check when it comes to him, I feel this chilling feeling across my whole body, as if he will put everything I have build down! It was like that when I met him for the first time and he kicked my Jenga tower. I know it's probably childish to remember that even now.

To Lily he was her whole world, she always had everything from money to beauty, so a handsome boyfriend was a given. The thing is that his fellings were always as soft and tender as 10 carat diamond.

As for Leon they where best friends since ever, when he left I didn't know how Leo would react, they played games all night if our parents let them and they studied last hour at 3:00 am when the exam was the first period. Like they were two very handsome cockroaches roaming around the house when everyone wanted to rest.

Then there was me always late to their shenanigans the younger, weaker and less brilliant sister but even if I felt left out at the time, that was never the case, it was just that Theo never treated me like an equal like my siblings did.

He treated as a child. To me he was like a mean brother that picks up on anything I do wrong and somehow, even so, I managed to miss him this past year. Even if he didn't even give us a call. He was a real pest and a puppy faced idiot to us but to everyone else he was kind and mature for his age. What a joke!

He's an idiot but a lovable idiot, you could say I also enjoy picking on him and even if when I was 10 he undressed all my dolls and threatened to throw the clothes away, even if I got in trouble for breaking his nose in a wrestling match in his living room, that by the way he started and even after what he said that night. I guess you can still miss jerks like him, I can't even comprehend it myself.

And after enduring a tiring and useless day of classes, I somehow wanted to see his face in my living room, after I prayed to the skies he would never came back from Italy, maybe he could've found a passion for dough and cheese and choose to pursue his life far away from my sight.

But now that he is about to come back to our life's I don't think it was as horrible as I thought back then, he's still the one that made me smile even if it was in the middle of a funeral.

Theodore Miller

Every tiny step I took in this hallway made me increasingly nervous, he would surely be standing in his pedestal as if he a kind and respectful guy. Well even if he wasn't people would still kiss his *** just the same.

He surely would have forgetten the nonsense he told me the night before he left, as if he never came to my bedroom that night through the balcony so drunk he could easily have fallen out of the building.

And even if he was out of himself, to be sincere those words hurt more than any broken bone, the memories I fought all my life.

And suddenly he was gone, without an apology or saying goodbye, that carefree guy could hurt me in such a serious tone.

What does he know about my life? My life isn't a frigging TV show or a thriller movie, he doesn't know that his drunken words gave me nightmares every single night after that.

Even if he is a idiot, even if he picked on me from morning to noon in the end he would bring me my favorite brand of caramel and as if he didn't care he would apologize.

I won't ever forget any of this, that demon made us suffer and worry without contacting us for almost a year, do you know how much is a year away from someone you cherish?

Besides all that he hurt Lily pretty badly and even if he was still our friend I couldn't bear to see her again with him. That was something I would make him remember for the rest of his pathetic life.

One minute left before class 12 B was freed from the classroom, I stood outside while their math teacher screamed some incomprehensible terms. As I anxiously waited the bell rang piercing my precious ears.

Yesterday I was feeling conflicted whether my feeling from the past were the same or if I missed Theodore Miller my stupid childhood friend.

However, my feelings became clear as I waited to see him after so much time, he was somehow important to me and I knew he was also important to Lily and Leon.

I became anxious to see his face, I realized I could kick him in strategic places so he would cry and realize what he did was something extremely rude and idiotic even for him. That was the only way he could feel as bad as we felt.

A sea of people emerged from all around. Soon Theodore stood proud in front of me, his eyes calm as always that only made me want to mess with his peace of mind.

"Pipsqueak..." he spotted me in the crowd leaning against a cold wall and he smiled as he saw me. "I see you didn't grow a inch" I expected nonetheless from Theodore Miller.

We were professional troublemakers, whanever I heard a "no" from him we would fight like real siblings. And because of that bond he also knew my weaknesses but no matter what happened in my life I refused to be a frail girl. I heard somewhere a phrase "If you get tangled up, just tango on" that's something I pretty much apply to all my life.

"I'm glad I'm this small imagine the damage I would've have done to your nose when you were in freshman year if I was stronger!" I looked in his eyes proudly because I knew his friends would be listening as I was pretty much screaming, I also knew he told he got into a fight to his friends. What they didn't know was that the big man who broke his nose was me this so called "pipsqueak".

Lilian arrived exactly in that crucial moment, even if her naive nature made her seem ditzy she probably spent this extra minutes in class talking with her teacher about some minor detail in a page long equation.

Theo stared at me with a shocked face and he turned his head to Lily as she looked extremely confused at the entire situation.

"Umm. Did I miss something right now?"

Lily asked looking back and forth to me and Theodore. Theodore recovered pretty fast from the blow and put on a mischeveous smile.

"Little Harriet was saying how much she missed me, that honestly got me so emotional that I became speechless." He turned the game pretty fast but I wouldn't stand still, until he apologizes I will fight and embarrass him all I want.

"How cute of y-" Lily flicked both of our foreheads and stared at my soul, I'm sure that Theodore was as scared as me. When she got like this she was capable of anything like a bulldozer breaking trough and she still would maintain her perfectly arranged bangs.

"Enough both of you, it's so annoying to see when you two fighting after all this time! " With a gentle hand movement she pointed to the cafeteria. Her usual sweet smile looked terrifying in my eyes

And just like that, almost whitout noticing me and Theodore were already on our way.