Tuesday, March 10, 20XX

The woman sat down in the high chair and ordered her drink. Despite the loud music and cheers of the people around it seemed that she could go against it all. She was indifferent to her surroundings and looked immersed in her little world. She smiled at the waiter and took a sip of her drink. Everything was done with elegance. Even the waiter in front of her was enchanted by her beauty.

She had one of her wigs on today. She was dressed in a sexy black bodycon dress and a pair of steliteos.No make up.No fake smiles.No pretending to be drunk. Not pretending to be a stripper.No pretending to be a model. Not a doctor.Not a flight attendant.Not a secretary.Just herself….an assassin and ready to kill of course.

The only reason she wore a wig was not to disclose her identity but she would make sure that her victim sees her real face before they go to hell.

Despite convincing herself to end it all today she wasn’t willing to let her true appearance be known. She compromised with a wig instead but everything else was her natural beauty.

She had just come down from the stage after finishing her song. A few minutes ago she had been singing a sound in order to grab the attention of her next victim.

Behind her, in a very far corner, a man in his early twenties looked at her with interest.”Boss, I think I found something for you to play with tonight.”He gave the man next to him a meaningful smile. His boss a man in his late 40’s gave him a chuckle. He was tall and handsome, his face looked at least 5 years younger. His well-shaped body and his toned muscles were highlighted by the tightness of his white dress shirt. ”You have a good eye Jacob...since you say so go get her for me.” The man replied with a sinister smile.

The young man nodded and signaled the other two guys in front of them. They all nodded in understanding. It’s not like anything there is anything new. It's not the first time they have done it but today they had just found a unique beauty.

Ainara smirked and continued to sip her drink as if she had not noticed anything. A few minutes later she finished her drink and called the bartender.”Make me a Manhattan.”The bartender gave her a nod and started working on her request.

Her blonde hair fell on her back freely. Her slender fingers tapped on the table and she scanned her surroundings with her unique grey and blueish eyes.

Before the bartender could give her a drink someone came from behind her.”Excuse me I need to take my girlfriend out of here.”Ainara frowned and she could feel the gun pressing against her waist. The bartender looked at her as if asking if it’s true and she nodded. The man walked her away from the crowd. Ainara trembled in his arms, making the man believe that she was shaking in fear.

He led her through a passage and into a private room on the top floor which is always for VIPs. He smirked and threw her inside the room. She stumbled with a shriek.

She fell into a pair of arms and she immediately pushed them away.”Mmm quire feisty huh?”The man gave her a seductive smile but to her, it appeared utterly disgusting. So disgusting and unpleasing she could cut his throat this second and laugh at him as he chokes on his blood.

“S-sir P-please leave let me go!” She begged and tears flowed from her eyes dramatically. Her tears fell on her delicate white milky skin and her eyelashes fluttered innocently.

“Shh if you act like a good girl I promise to be gentle hmm?” He said, licking his lips.”You promise?”She asked with a small whimper. Her face was pale and her lips quivered, her legs were shaking and her eyes were flooded with tears.

Whoever got chosen as the best actress of the year, do please hand over the title. While your add it, to please bow down to the newly crowned queen. I beg for you to watch and learn from the real expert!

The man smirked seeing how much effect he had on the young woman. Unfortunately for him, luck could not be farther away from him on this very special day. Today his day has come. He will pay for all families he destroyed, all the men he killed, all the woman he r*ped, and all the children he abused mentally and physically. If she is a killer then the disgusting human trash in front of her could not be worse than an animal.

No, not even an animal is enough for him. He is considered much worse.

“Such a beauty.”He mumbled as his hands wrapped around her thighs. He pushed her against the door and lifted her in an attempt to have more opening and aim his hands in places he could never dream of touching because…

“Agh!”

His hands were captured by her. She held his hand and squeezed them tightly. The sound was filled with his cries of pain and the sound of his bones ranking. She pushed him onto the floor and grinned.”Oh, I never promised to go easy on you though.”

His bones were being crushed by her bare hand and he could barely tell if she had already broken his whole hand.

She pressed her heels on the companion between his thighs and listened to his screams. The louder he screamed the harder she pressed her heel. She chuckled.”You are so considerate, you even got us a soundproof room. You probably predicted that someone will be screaming in pleasure tonight right? Well, you aren’t wrong but I don’t know if ‘pleasure’ is the right word to describe the pain you will go through today.”

“You b*tch!”

The man she would kill today was not worth her exclusive torture nor was he worth her special poison. Being personally killed by her was enough for her. Despite her deep hate for the man, she loathed herself even more. At this point, she was simply tired.10 damn years were wasted on this man. Her youth was wasted, her happiness, her dreams all of it was sacrificed to for this day.

Oddly enough she wanted to back out. She wanted to restart. Afterall she is still 20. She is still young beautiful and talented. She could still go to university and graduate as a surgeon and save lives or she could make her skincare line that would be used to help woman embrace their inner beauty and inspire thousands. These were once something she desired, she had always dreamed of accomplishing them and she has the capacity of such things.

Unfortunately, what kind of role model could she be? She had instead become a killer. Her mother had always encouraged her to be a better person. Her mother had suffered through rape by her grandfather when she was little. But instead of giving up she became stronger and encouraged all women to be stronger too. She had married her father a military general and had gotten pregnant with her. Her mother taught her well and raised her well but it was indeed her fault for becoming this way.

Turns out revenge is never satisfactory and instead it drives you insane. She had learned her lesson now.

‘The greatest revenge is compassion.’

‘The best revenge is enjoying life despite what they did to you’

‘To truly avenge them, you should live happily and achieve anything you can dream off’

‘Revenge is never the key’

She had ignored the wise words of her friends. She watched others lose their shot at happiness because of revenge and yet she still wanted to follow the same path.

She sighed. It didn’t matter whether she is regretful or not. She had made her decision and now she could no longer go back. Regretting it would not stop the consequences and now she would just complete her plans and do what she does.....

KILL!

_________

Hi guys! Welcome to my new novel and I hope we can enjoy this new journey together. The following chapters will be a bit detailed and sensitive as well as sad and emotional. The topic I will be putting pressure on is 'S*cide' of course. After these chapters, there will be more happy and funny moments. Just bear with me for the first few chapters. Thank you!

WARNING: VIOLENT BEHAVIOR AHEAD

Tuesday, March 10, 20XX

“You b*tch!”

“Tch so boring.”She let go of him and knelt beside his head. She made him face the floor and she held onto his hair. ”You're getting old. I expected a fight.” She took out a knife from under her dress and flipped it in the air. She played with it for a while pondering on what technique she should use.

“I am going to kill you today!”He shouted getting up. He went towards the nightstand near the bed and took out his gun.”Heh of course I’m sorry for my rudeness we should both have a fair fight.” She said. Just when she finished saying this the man aimed the gun at her and immediately pressed the trigger.

The pieces of the gun landed on the ground with a thud, one by one.”w-what how?” He didn’t even get a chance to shoot because she was in front of him destroying the gun that had disappeared from his hands. She took the dagger and stabbed him in his shoulder.”Agh! You  wh*re! Who the hell are you?”

The crimson river flowed from his arm and created a small pool of blood on the ground. She twisted the knife inside his body with a smile on her lips. "Agh!"

“Me?”She asked as if surprised.”Ha Ha who sent you to kill me?”The man started laughing like a maniac despite the pain in his arm.”My brother?” He questioned.

Ainara twisted the knife making him scream in pain again.”I came personally for you.”She abruptly took the knife out of him and held him up by his neck. She had him under his hold as if he were some pillow. Her hands were tainted with his blood and she could feel the gooey red liquid flowing down her arm and dripping on the ground.

She dug her nails inside his neck and watched him choke in front of her. ”Look at me carefully.” She squeezed his neck tightly. He groaned in pain. He felt like she was tearing him apart with her bare hands.

She took the wig off from her hair and let her real silver hair flow freely on her back. A few strands of her hair were naturally red. Her grey and blue eyes completed the extremely rare look. To think, she always hid under disguises. Any other being would love to show off that rare beauty.

“You see this face. Do you remember me?” She asked. He had a full view of her face now. He could see her features more clearly. Even though her face had matured she never lost the baby like resemblance to her 9-year-old self. Her milky white skin and her innocent look. Surprised appeared on his face instead of the shock she expected.

” Ah….. Soles I remember you. How have you been little one?” He asked and coughed when he felt her dig her nails deeper on his flesh. He felt like incests were crawling on his skin. Her hand on his neck felt like a rope tied around his neck making him choke on his blood. She was so scary...

He acted like he was not at all affected by her but deep inside he was panicking.

“So you remember me now?”She asked with a chuckle. He nodded with a sly smile lingering in his lips making her squeeze his neck harder. "Ah!"

”Good. Remember the face that will take you to your grave.” She told him. This made a cynical laugh to escape from his lips.”The typical Soles.The signature silver hair and fierce glares.The beautiful features and oh and their variety in talents.How wonderful. It’s an honor kid to ah! D-die in y-your agh! H-hands.” It was difficult to breathe but he wanted to taunt her.

Ainara traced her knife on his face and she stabbed one of his left eyes. "Agh!" He yelled in pain. He was growing tired and his screams were draining his energy.

“ How pathetic.” She uttered coldly. He shrugged.”Tell me how have you been coping with everything?” He asked laughing as if his life were not the one on the line. She pushed him away in disgust. He landed on the floor and hit his head on the nightstand.

The pool of blood only increased. He lifted his hand and placed it on the wall, he attempted to stand up but he slipped in his blood and landed back on the floor. He was covered in his blood.

“I will make you pay for everything you did to me and all the lives you destroyed. I will give you a slow and painful death. I will mess with your mind and when you're at your last breaths I will carve into your body and make you watch me do it.” She so spoke with excitement.

He couldn’t help but laugh.”Oh, it’s you. I have to say the whole ‘A’ thing is kind of stupid. The police will know who you killed and soon enough they will find you. Even the military is excited to find you. I heard their most powerful General is in this city looking for you.” He gave her a smug smile.

“Kid, aren’t we the same though?” He mumbled.

“Killers? Bloodthirsty animals? See I knew you would end up becoming a killer. Why are you blaming me after all I didn’t kill your family it was you who-” His sentence was interrupted by her and he started coughing blood.

“Shut up!” She shouted.

“What was your mom’s name? Ariana and I remember you had a small brother too…. I think he was five years old. Poor boy, he had to watch his sister-” He wanted to continue watching the rage in her eyes. He had long admitted that he would die today but he wanted to play with her first.

Bam!

She slammed his head against the nightstand consecutively. He screamed after each massive blow arrived at his head as if he were just a toy that could not feel anything.

Tears started to fall from her eyes.”You ruined everything! I had a perfect life and you destroyed it all. Y-you took it all from me…” She shouted but her voice craked up. She had been in pain her whole life and right now she wanted to take it out on the cause of her pain.

“Hah Ha!  Heh we all know that’s not true am not even-” His words died out. He looked at her in shock.

She had stabbed him straight in his heart. After seeing her acting like this, he thought if he played with her mind then he would get to kill her first but he forgot that she had grown up. She was no longer a small innocent 9 year old to believe his words and be controlled by him.

She dropped herself in the ground and started panting. She laughed and a content smile spread across her face.”Finally! Ah, I can finally die peacefully.” She murmured.

“Stupid. This is to make sure nobody gets harmed by you anymore, now for my family…”

She wiped her tears away and got up. She took out her knife and started to carve and A in his chest. Once she finished she headed for the bathroom and wiped her knife clean. She cleaned her face and took a deep breath in. She looked at herself in the mirror with a satisfied smile.

She could not leave this world before being certain that this man would not harm anyone ever again.

She came out of the room to find the young man in his early twenties and the owner of the club outside the room waiting for her to come out.”Clean the mess up.”She ordered the young man.

She then faced the owner of the club.”Clear the security cameras.” She ordered him coldly and paid no mind to his change of expression.

“Wait!” The owner held onto the sleeve of her dress. She frowned and shrugged him off. He almost lost his balance but managed to stand on his feet.

”We agreed I would get some benefit of this.” He gave her a meaningful glance.

“Yes, your life.”She responded and turned to face him. She pulled out her gun. The man fell on his knees with a terrified expression on his face. Not long after a bullet pierced right through his skull and his organs were displayed on the floor, ground, and doors like an art piece.

Stupid. She was not named the world’s most dangerous assassin for no reason.

Did he really think he could get ‘benefit’ from working with her? Funny.....

______

I just want you guys to know that she is an assassin and she is a killer so I had to show you guys how cold-blooded and ruthless she can be. I'm not the best at writing graphic scenes but I just had to add some here.

Tuesday,March 10,20XX

Ainara arrived at a bridge and looked up to see the dark sky. She sighed with tears in her eyes and dry blood on her hands. “So do I just jump?”She mumbled. She felt that this is fair enough. She did good but she also did bad it’s not like she was a saint.

Everyone that she cared about is dead so it is not like anyone will miss her. Nobody will even know who she is. “It feels so suffocating.” She whispered. Surely, she’s forgetting about a few people that still care for her….

Sarah? No, she’s commoditize and might never wake up.

Anna? No, she’s had her happily ever after and she doesn’t need her to add to her troubles.

“Mother, I failed you I'm sorry.”She whispered and placed her palms on the rail ready to jump. Before she could jump she remembered someone. She swallowed. ‘ No... he won’t be here.’ She thought.

“James… I have been wanting to tell you this for a long time and since I know you will be leaving soon before that I wanted to tell you that… I love you and always had feelings for you.”The young girl gave him an expectant look and bit her lip in nervousness.”So?”The man asked coldly.

“Are you willing to be my boyfriend?”The girl asked. He checked this time in his watch impatiently.”James?”The girl asked again.”Are you done?”

“W-what?”

“Miss Wilson please make this fast. I have somewhere else to be at the moment.” He ignored her confession directly.

“B-but I-”

“Miss Wilson your feelings don’t concern me please move on.” He rejected her coldly, without any emotion. The young woman clung onto his arm but he immediately pushed her away so strongly that she almost fell on the floor.

“But you have never been close to any woman so I thought that-” She tried to gain his attention and pity.

“Miss Wilson stop assuming things and please keep your distance.” He told her.

Miss Wilson ran away in tears after his cruel rejection. The handsome young man once again looked at his watch impatiently and looked around as if searching for someone. He walked in the opposite direction in annoyance.

“ Waiting for someone?” Ainara mumbled.

The man paused and turned around. Ainara froze. She was not expecting him to hear her. When she saw his handsome face she immediately recognized him. Instead of jumping, she sat on the dangerous edge of the bridge. He scanned her and narrowed his eyes when he spotted dry blood on her jacket.”Miss your bleeding.”He pointed out. Ainara shook her head.

“No, this is not my blood.”She gave him a smirk and he frowned.”I can’t believe it. The crowned prince has been searching for me so long and can’t even recognize me?”She teased. “ He even started playing detective to find me…” She added.

“Is my face not beautiful enough, that you can’t even remember it Mr. Detective?”She jumped from the edge onto the floor and stood right in front of him.”Do you recognize me now?” She asked as she got closer to him.

Surprise filled his previously expressionless face.”And you just exposed yourself like this? I thought you were smarter.” He responded.

She chuckled and traced her fingers across his handsome face. He grabbed her wrist to stop her but she just laughed.

Suddenly she tiptoed and brushed her lips against his seductively. He froze in shock but before he could react she pulled away. A tear came down her cheek. He stood there in a daze following the tear with his eyes.

She closed her eyes as another tear rolled down her cheek.” See I told you we would meet again...”She winked at him and suddenly did a backflip. She stood right on the edge of the bridge.

Her chest moved up and down as she took deep breaths in.

Her hair flowed in the air like waves because of the wind. Her eyes reddened and a few more tears came down her eyes.” I’m sorry but I can’t give myself in like I promised a year ago.” She muttered as tears fell from her eyes.

He walked towards her ready to capture her because failure is just not in his dictionary. He would handcuff her and she would pay for her crimes.

She gasped feeling suffocated by the sudden tears.  “ It’s so hard. To live. To b-breath….I-”

“Wait! Damn it!” He shouted.

He ran towards her to try to stop her but it was too late. She gave him one bitter smile and closed her eyes.

He took out his phone and dialed a number.”Get me an ambulance right now! Someone committed suicide in Lunken Bridge!”

“Start searching Now!” He ordered. He leaned on the edge of the bridge and swallowed. He immediately took off his coat and jumped ran to a lower part of the bridge. Once he found a safe hight to jump from he jumped off the bridge.

….

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion to her. If only she could go back and prevent her suffering. If only...unfortunately this is life and once decisions are taken there is no going back.

Her heart hurt. It hurt so much. She too has emotions. But hell who cares right? She’s just a killer. A murderer.A vengeful person. She doesn’t deserve to live. She is just a waste of oxygen.

This is what she kept telling herself but deep inside a small light kept telling her.

You're worthy. Your sins are forgiven. You deserve to live. Keep fighting. Love yourself even if others don’t.There was still a small light in there telling her she had to keep fighting that she had to keep living. What he did to you will make you stronger. You can do this!

She was in debate on whether to keep breathing or not.

She could feel the cold water brush against her skin. Despite the height she had jumped from she could still swim up and live. But no she refused to go back up. There was an immense pain in her heart.

Her lungs asked for more, they wanted air, they wanted oxygen. She was prepared for situations like this, her survival instinct already knew how to get out of this situation but she no longer had the will to keep going.

This time she didn’t want to survive. This time she gave up completely…..

Her lungs started to fill up with cold water. Her lips turned purple. Her body paled. Her eyes closed tightly and her hand let loose.

She slowly started to lose her life but that annoying small light kept telling her to live on. She felt sick and trapped. Like she was trapped in a small box and the more she tried to believe in that small light the faster that box shrank. She wanted to grasp that last hope of life and tightly hold onto it forever.

Sadly once her miserable life flashed in front of her eyes she felt no motive, energy, or urge to go back. Who would be waiting for her if she does live? All she will do is go back to being miserable again won’t she?

So forget it. It’s best to let go.

She finally turned off the last light of hope as images of her childhood flashed before her eyes.

‘I’m sorry.’ She apologized to nobody in particular before closing her eyes and sinking in darkness.

___________

Author’s Note:

This is not a rebirth story. It is just a suicide attempt and all will be explained later. The next chapter will be a flashback to what happened a year ago and how she and this man(James) met. By the way, this story will start slowly because I want to focus mainly on how the female lead learned to love herself and tries to move on.

Lastly, the story is a bit sad but there will be a very happy ending and funny scenes ahead! : )

I believe you guys think James is the ML right? If you do tell me your thoughts in the comment section. Is he the ml or not?

(For those of you wondering I don't have a schedule of releasing chapters yet. The chapters I will be posting for the following days were written by me a while ago. I have a small stockpile at the moment but of course, it won't last forever. Until then I can't tell you any release schedule.)