Before I get on with the story there are a couple of things I would like to say that are very important.

1) TRIGGER WARNING - This story covers domestic violence, suicide and extreme homophobia. If any of you are reading this and find any of those three things triggering, please stop reading. If any of you suffer from those three things and are not getting help, feel free to DM me on Instagram (@cub.haupt) if you need someone to talk to, need someone to check up on you or need help looking for professional advice. I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL. But I will do anything in my power to check up on you, talk to you and find someone in your area who can give you professional advice.

2) Please, please, please do not copy this story. This story has been copyrighted and if you would like to translate/turn this into a comic, please let me know before doing so, so that I can check for full credit and so on...

Another note: This story does contain swearing. A LOT of swearing.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the story! This is my first time putting anything out for the public so be patient with me... any feedback would be much appreciated :)))

(Less important - don't have to read): The inspiration for my story was actually my English teacher!

I've always been a massive fan of the film industry and I have written plenty of scripts to last a lifetime.

When I told my English teacher this, they told me that majority of the scripts made in films to this day, are made by someone giving the script writer a topic to write about and then the script writer having to come up with a story that matches the topic they've been given!

My teacher asked me if I wanted to try this and I said yes.

They told me to write something that will represent the two sides you tend to see within the industry that promotes the LGBTQ+ community. They said that the industries you see today usually overly sexualize the community, or become to scared to write or display certain things within the media. (This isn't to say there aren't any masterpieces out there, it was just an observation my english teacher made).

I'm going to be hella honest with you guys.......... I had not a fudging clue what that meant or how I was going to get that on paper.

But I tried.

I wrote the script about three years ago, showed it to my teacher. They were very happy with it and helped me find a way to copyright it.

I never actually did anything with the script after that... UNTIL LOCKDOWN HAPPENED.

I could have just put the story in script format but some people find it harder to relate with a story that's in script format so these past couple of months, I have been trying to convert it into book format. I have never attempted book writing so we will see how this goes....

ANYWAYS!! I'm sure you're all bored to death with my little rant about the inspiration. I shall finish it there.

Hope you all enjoy! <3

Jason's POV (Point Of View)

I'm greeted with a sign that has been pinned to my soon to be door, reading: "NO GAYS ALLOWED".

"Right..." I muttered under my breath as I pushed the door open with my free hand before entering my new room.

This was going to be my room for the next two years. It also meant I was going to be staying with whoever put the sign up for two years. Just my luck.

He was already there, claiming half the room with his messy decoration of rubbish littering the floor. His clothes had been creatively scrambled across his bed and his work books had been openly stored in the garbage can.

I gulped.

"So... I noticed you put a sign on the door..." I hesitantly began, not really sure what I was gaining by conversing with this hooligan.

"Yeah, what's the problem?" he snapped back, not even looking up to greet me. I shuffled a few steps backwards, carefully placing a suitcase on my soon to be bed.

"What's with the sign on the door?" I didn't even know why I wished to pursue this conversation further as I watched him finally turn around to face me, his eyes glaring at me in disgust.

He could have been good looking. In fact he was pretty good looking as it was. It was his scowl that seemed to be permanently printed across his face that took away the innocence from his fairly angelic features. His blonde hair was greasy but it fell with delicate grace over his piercingly cold blue eyes. He was dressed in all black, loose cargo trousers and a baggy hoodie. His clothing may have been too big for him but you could tell he was in good shape.

I refrained from staring at him while I took in his appearance.

"I hate gays."

"Why?"

"They make me want to throw up!" he snarled through his teeth.

"Don't deep throat too far then..." It was an automatic response that slipped through my teeth before I could stop it getting out. I clamped my mouth shut.

"You don't look gay."

I almost sighed with relief.

"Maybe because gay people look like... people?"

The boy stared at me in silence for what felt like a life time before turning away and growling, "Why do you care so much about the stupid sign? If you're not gay then it shouldn't concern you."

I felt a familiar tingling of rage creep up the back of my spine and I almost burst into an explosion of screaming and throttling but managed to contain my inner thoughts of fire from reaching the dynamite.

"I don't have to be gay to be concerned," I pointed out, deciding to unpack my bags in a calm manner. It was really just a distraction for my hands that were desperately finding something to strangle.

"Are you gay or what?"

His voice had become harder, higher pitched and dangerous. I turned around to see that he was now facing me and had become closer within the seconds I had my back turned.

"I'm going to have to put up with this...," I said. It was almost a plead to the heavens that clearly weren't listening.

"So?" It sounded defensive as he clenched his fist.

"I don't want to spend my time having to educate an idiot," I hissed back. I clearly wanted to die right there and then.

"Are you gay?" His voice was trembling but it wasn't fear. His words were scarily articulate and his tongue flicked his lips with a venomous glare.

"What does it matter?" I tried reasoning but I knew the response.

"If you're gay, leave now."

"I'm no going anywhere," I hissed. "This room was assigned to me so you have no right to kick me out as much as I have no right to kick you out for being a ****."

He took a step closer. I felt his breath tickle my face making my feel squeamish.

"Who says I can't kick you out?" he cooed, millimeters away from my ear.

"If you don't like me then just don't talk to me!" I shouted. I wanted hide there was no where to hide. "You stick to your side of the room and I will stick to mine. That way we won't be in each other's way and I don't have to waste my breath on a homophobic piece of sh*t like you!"

A hand grabbed my throat and shoved me against the wall.

He put his mouth right next to my ear and whispered, "If you try anything on me, I will kill you, clear?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

His hand tightened and I felt my throat close up on me. I started to feel a choke make it's way up to my mouth but I pushed it back down. I wasn't about to let him have the satisfaction of seeing the effect he had on me.

"Don't mess with me, dipsh*t!" he screamed. I felt my ears start to ring at the booming of his voice.

"Who said I'm messing with you?" I managed to say, through heavy breathing. I felt a bead of sweat crawl down the side of my forehead. I prayed he couldn't see it.

"Don't get gobby with me."

He pushed me before releasing me and storming out of the room. As soon as he had left the room, I began gasping for air and I collapsed onto my knees.

Some welcome present this was.

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Yoooooo, so this is the first chapter.... What do you guys think? Yay or nah?? Let me know if you have any feedback. I'm so excited that I finally have somewhere where I can share my work as it has literally been years since I wrote this. I've never wrote in book format as I said before so let me know if I'm fucking it up or if this is okay?

Jason's POV

Before I get on with the story, let me tell you a little about my best friend Ben. I have known him for pretty much all my life. I call him my best friend but it's only because he knows too much. He could name a list that could go on for miles with all my darkest secrets, my embarrassing moments and every second of my life I managed to screw up. I am hostage to this relationship but so is he. And because of that we are inseparable. He knows exactly what is going on for me before I even tell him. His instinct is almost terrifying.

He was the reason why I moved to Maywest Boarding School. He is a year older than me but that never stopped us from being close. In fact, it was probably what made us closer. We barely saw each other during our school years so every moment we spent together became more valuable.

When he left for Maywest, he told me stories of his roommate Ricky and the stupid mischief that they got up to. He told me about the friends that he had made and how his lessons shaped a new vision for him. I wanted that. I wanted that for myself. I wanted to be included in his whirlwind of events and be taken away by my teachers at school. I wanted to see things in a different light.

---

There was a knock on the door. I fumbled around trying to find my calm self amongst the pieces that had just been shattered apart by my roommate.

I answered it.

It was Ben. I sighed with relief, grabbed my coat and shut the door behind me before walking towards the canteen along side him.

"How's it going, Mr Dorm President," I mocked, throwing a playful punch.

"Dude, it feels great!" he said, ignoring my attempts of belittling his achievement. "It felt weird doing all that stuff where you have to sign people in and deal with giving newbies like you a lecture on all the dorm rules. But it's fine because my roommate's really good at that stuff. I'm pretty sure he has stayed in a boarding school all his life."

I laughed. "I'm beginning to think they chose the wrong person to be dorm president and I feel really bad for your roommate."

"Shut up, man," he giggled, returning my playful punch. "This is amazing though! You're finally here!"

I nodded grinning from ear to ear. There was a long pause as he openly started eyeballing me up and down.

"Yo, have you met your roommate yet?" Ben eventually asked.

I hesitated. It didn't feel right for me to start balling my eyes out to him when we had finally reunited...

Just as that thought ran through my mind, Ben immediately flashed me a look of concern. I sighed.

"He wrote a note on the door saying: "No gays allowed."

I deliberately left out the bit where he strangled me up against the wall because I didn't openly state my sexuality to him.

"F*ck, that's messed up."

That was all he could say.

We arrived at the canteen. It wasn't that far from the dorm meaning I wouldn't have to walk miles just to get my breakfast every morning.

It wasn't packed with students but most students weren't living in the dorm. There were a few students who were already dressed in their uniform whilst there were quite a few who had come dressed in the comfort of their pajamas. I admired their confidence in silence.

We stood in line, got food and then started making our way towards an empty table.

I knew Ben didn't know what to say after I had spilt a little truth about my roommate. He was giving me space to clean up my thoughts but I just wished he would give me something for support. I didn't need much.

"Oh snap, there's my roommate Ricky!" I felt Ben nudge me violently as he began waving hectically at Ricky. "Shall we go sit with them?"

I was about to say yes until a familiar shadow loomed up behind Ricky that automatically sent shivers down my spine.

"It's cool, man, we can sit on our own," I shuddered, gently tugging at Ben's sleeve.

"Come on!" he pleaded, ignoring my desperation to escape. "I've been waiting a whole year for you to meet my roommate! Oi, Ricky!"

I tried standing behind Ben but being 6ft tall made my efforts useless.

Ricky didn't help the situation. He ran over like a lost puppy as soon as Ben called his name. The troop that had stood behind him, which included my roommate, all crowded after him. My eyes flitted to the exit but before I could even make a step towards it, Ricky had already decided to embrace me.

"Hey. Is this the guy you were telling me about?" Ricky practically shouted in my ear. I winced.

"Yeah, Jason, this is Ricky. Ricky, this is Jason." I felt Ben's arm snake around my shoulder like a proud father. "Ricky's two years above you and a year above me. You will find the dorm policy is to put you with people from the year above or the year below so your roommates don't distract you. However I don't really see the difference as all the creative classes have all the years together."

"That's weird," I managed to say, trying to stay present in the conversation.

So my roommate was a year older than me. He was a year older than me but I couldn't help but feel that he was going to learn a lot more from me than I was from him.

I looked over at my roommate who was glaring at me from behind Ricky. Nobody seemed to notice him sending me daggers which probably meant that this was normal for him to do.

Back in the dorms it had been kind of difficult to focus on him standing up as I had spent most of my energy trying to breath but seeing him stand in front of me made me realise just how short he really was.

I cursed him in my head.

"Hey, man, I'm Ben's roommate. It's nice to finally meet you," said Ricky, trying to break the silence.

I pried my eyes away from my roommate and sent Ricky a small smile. "And you" was all I could say.

"Why don't you come sit with us?"

I felt my roommates eyes suddenly become darker. "No really, it's..."

"Yeah, we'd love that!" Ben suddenly interrupted me.

"... a pleasure...," I swiftly finished, trying to send signals to Ben but he looked right past me.

"Dude, come on. Sit down," ordered Ben, pushing me down into a seat that was directly opposite Ricky. I wasn't sure how long I would be able to stand my roommate glaring at me.

"Come meet the team," smiled Ricky. "This is Suki, Jisoo and Noah."

So his name is Noah. I glanced over but immediately regretted it.

"My real name is Sukhjeevan but people call me Suki for short," Suki added.

I looked over at him, trying to come across as interested. "Do you like the nickname Suki?"

"Yeah, I mean the girls think it's cute," he giggled, receiving a punch from Jisoo who suddenly started eyeing him closely. "The name Suki in Japan means "to love" so I have no hate for it."

"It's also a girls name," Jisoo snorted.

"Shut up, just because you're Japanese!" Suki retorted.

"I'm Korean, you d*ckhead." Jisoo flicked some food over in his direction.

"Language," hissed Suki.

Ricky quickly diverted the conversation. "Hey, Noah, who's the weird guy who is supposed to be dorming with you?"

I froze.

"Funny you should say that because Jason has also been banging on about a weird dorm mate, as well," laughed Ben.

I gulped.

"He's sitting right in front of you," growled Noah.

Everyone suddenly went silent.

"You guys are roommates?" Ben asked me, his face suddenly coming to the realization as he turned to face me.

"Sh*t..." muttered Ricky.

"He did it to me if that helps," said Jisoo, calmly playing with his food.

"What?" I couldn't tell if I had just misheard him.

"This sign," said Jisoo. "It's his little signature."

"You were roommates with him?" I asked, in disbelief.

"Yeah, you could say that," Jisoo murmured under his breath, shooting a distinct look over at Noah. I waited for him to say more but his mouth clamped shut.

"Maybe this is a good opportunity for you to put things in the past," reasoned Ricky.

I could feel the rest of the group looking at me expectantly.

"I'm going to leave first," I finally decided. "I still have some unpacking to do."

I couldn't stand sitting there another minute.

"So soon?" Ricky asked. I nodded. "It was nice to meet you."

"And you."

I left. It was the fastest speed walking I had done in a lifetime. I knew Ben would be worried but it was the only thing I could do for myself in that moment. I also didn't feel comfortable with Noah being only a few centimetres away.

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So this is the second chapter. I'll probably be posting a chapter a day (possibly more?) since I don't have college until September. What do we think? I'm actually really enjoying the distraction that this story has given me whilst writing it. I hope this can also be an escapism for some of you as well! Arghhhhhh I'm so nervous about making this public!!!