I sacrificed my own life to save my husband, who was my first love.

I thought I could finally be free from this foolish love after I’ve died, but…

Why is it that when I opened my eyes again, I found myself in someone else’s body?

Even worse, I transmigrated into a novel?

And why is my ex-husband here, too?

He became the S-Class Esper who was obsessed with the female lead—enough that he would eventually commit treason against the Crown Prince, who was the true male lead.

More than anything else though, why did I suddenly manifest the abilities of a Guide?

…Ah, whatever. I died anyway, so that should be the same as a divorce, I guess.

...* * *...

“My wife, did you think that I wouldn’t recognize your guiding?”

Why do you remember me.

Why are you looking at me like that, not the female lead? With those eyes so full of obsession and madness.

You weren’t originally this kind of man.

He approached me at a languid pace, watching closely as I was at a loss for words.

His saunter was slow and elegant, as though he was a lion approaching his prey—even so, he could not hide his thirst and hunger. No, it’s not as if he was even trying to hide it.

As he finally arrived in front of me, he raised one hand and held my chin. With his thumb, unceremoniously, he rubbed my lower lip.

At the familiar action, I felt myself shudder. He had always been rather rough whenever he received my guiding.

His delighted expression was slightly distorted.

“Ha…”

The moment his skin touched mine—the moment I started guiding him—he let out a deep, drawn-out sigh. His hot, thick breath clung to my eyes and lips.

I felt a warm hand touch my back, and he soon pulled me close to him forcefully. With my body pressed entirely against his, I couldn’t hide my surprise as I glanced up at him.

Then, when he opened his previously closed lids, his blue eyes looked at me as though he’d been waiting.

With his lips so close to the tip of my nose, he turned his head obliquely as he crooned.

“I’ve been looking for you for such a long time, Honey.”

...CHAPTER 1...

—

At the moment of my death, once I had accepted it, what flashed through my mind was my first meeting with my husband. At once glance, I knew that he was an impressive man, and he had a sharp look in his eyes that seemed as if he could see right through you.

The voice that flowed out of his shapely lips was so filled with murderous intent that I shuddered to my very core. At that time, all I could think of was that he could speak Korean so well despite being a foreigner.

Perhaps my thoughts could be read through my expression. As if he was baffled by the sight before him, my husband had murmured.

[ Ha. What’s this now. ]

But his bewilderment did not erase the domineering air about him. Leisurely, he looked at me up and down with narrowed eyes as though he was an army officer sizing me up, looking to see whether I was an enemy or not.

My husband was a world-famous S-Class Esper. And besides being an S-Class Esper, he could also wield dual elements, making him the most coveted rare Esper.

[ What kind of match rate… with just a B-Class. ]

Having just manifested as a Guide, I met him through fate-like coincidence, and I was urged to take a matching test with him. The match rate didn’t make sense to me either, and so I was left speechless.

At that time, my husband was shocked as well. And, I wonder, was it only an illusion that he felt relieved by this?

Ever since then, the fact that I became my husband’s dedicated Guide felt like a dream. For a while, I often stared blankly into the air, just trying to process this. Because of how unhappy I had been all my life, I couldn’t believe that such luck had graced me here…

The reason why I, as a mere B-Class Guide, was allowed to become the dedicated Guide of an S-Class Esper was due to the overwhelmingly high match rate that we had.

Usually, the matching rate that’s considered to be high between an Esper and a Guide was only about 80%, however, my husband and I had a match rate of 99%—just barely short of 100%.

It was a match rate that had never before existed. It was such a fascinating phenomenon that not only Korea had been interested, but even the entire world.

But somehow, my husband disliked me from the very beginning. His facial expressions, his actions and his words—everything told me that he was uncomfortable around me and displeased by me. It felt as if he had drawn a line between us already, with a clear threat not to come close.

I still don’t know why it was like this, but…

[ Compared to your Esper’s words, it seems like superior’s words are more important to you. ]

[ In the end, you’re the same as the lot of them. ]

He had always looked at me with disproving eyes, but at that moment, his face had grown blurry in front of me. The vicious words stabbed into me like daggers.

That’s why I had never even dreamed that I’d marry him. Even despite being his dedicated guide, I wouldn’t have ever dared hope for it.

However, when it was him who asked me to marry him, all the sadness and despair that I had felt until then vanished in an instant, and I dreamed of a pink future for us ahead.

When he proposed to me, his expression had been stern, but his blue eyes blazed with the fires of intensity.

With just that one gaze, I lay bare my entire life.

It’s just, even though I knew that something like this would happen, I loved him. That’s why.

After we had been wed, my husband’s attitude didn’t change that much, but I was happy. Even after a hard day’s work while being battered by other Guides and my direct superiors, I just had to come home, and there, I’d be able to meet him.

[ Just shoulder all the burdens in the world by yourself, why don’t you. ]

Although the words that left his lips were as sharp as daggers, it was fine.

There’s a common saying that goes like this: the one who loves the other more has no choice but to give in. I knew this was the case for me, and so, I tried to endure and bear everything that came my way.

I fell in love with him at first sight.

How could I not love him.

His tall, lean physique was eye-catching. He looked to be around 190 centimeters tall, yet he was rippling with muscles that it seemed as though he could pounce at any given moment. Whenever I guided him, just thinking about the hand that held me tight thrilled me to the point that my fingertips would tremble.

Beneath his black fringe, his high, angular nose was the perfect shape, and his almond-shaped eyes were wide and deep-set. His blue irises were dazzling enough to bewitch anyone who’d look into those eyes.

I wasn’t sure whether it was because of his abilities, but there were times when his eyes would flash red. That’s why, mysteriously, his eyes looked like a deep violet hue at first glance.

The cold, intimidating atmosphere around him was superior. It’s as if he was practiced in the art of controlling people with just the very tip of his fingers.

And his voice. Just hearing that deep baritone once felt as if it would echo in the very depths of one’s soul, and hearing it made chills run down my spine.

In the first place, it might have been my fault. It was my greed for him that led to this.

T/n: the guide/esper concept isn’t very well-known, but to sum it up—

Espers have very heightened senses and superhuman powers. They use their skills to fight monsters or anything else that’s a threat to humankind. These powers very often lead to ‘zoning out’ or ‘rampage’, and they can only return from these states of mind is with the help of a Guide.

There is a societal institution that’s usually established in-universe, and it falls under either a military or non-military bureaucracy. They’re the ones who determine the letter-grade ‘class’ of the Espers and Guides.

Apart from that, there is also the concept of a match rate, which would determine the compatibility of the Espers and Guides. The higher the match rate is, the better the Guide will be able to soothe the Esper.

In fanlore, Espers and Guides are also described to have somewhat of a mystical calling, where they are destined to find each other and be together. A ‘fated pair’, if you will.

—

There was once a time that a world-class S-Class Guide cried to me, begging for me to stay away from him.

[ Do you not have any conscience, Miss Seohyun? Don’t you even feel sorry for Ciel? ]

[ …I’m well aware. ]

Right. It’s not as if I didn’t know what kind of words I’ll be receiving while I’m outside.

If my husband was being guided by a Guide of a similar rank as him, more hidden abilities might still manifest within him. But because of me and my subpar guiding, I knew that he’s always struggling.

That’s why it’s not as if I didn’t know that I’d receive such insults and bad treatment.

And yet, I…

[ So you know, but you’re still going to stay with him? If it wasn’t for you, that man would have been able to reach a higher position. ]

[ …I have nothing to say. ]

Yes. I knew it very well. But as long as he wouldn’t let him go, I couldn’t bring myself to let go of him either. I’m not the only one who chose the other.

[ What’s with that expression? You think Ciel chose you? Really? How shameless. ]

When the woman’s face distorted with a look of scorn and contempt, I was swept by a realization. I had no choice but to realize that the only person who was feeling this way was me and me alone.

When that woman left, a stony silence was left. All I could do was to stop the sobs from leaking through my lips as I cried silently.

My husband never said anything to confirm these feelings, but I believed that he felt affection for me. However, my conviction on this shattered so easily.

No, perhaps in the back of my mind, I already knew.

It’s just that I didn’t want to admit it.

If I hadn’t let myself be overcome by my greed and stubbornness to stay by his side…

If I had only looked at him from afar and looked back at that time as only a memory of the past…

Then, I wouldn’t have lost my life.

An Esper’s rampage was powerful enough that it could blow up an entire city. And more importantly, there wasn’t a clear explanation as to why the rampage would happen, and there was no way to save the Esper amidst this.

However, I couldn’t just watch without doing anything. Even if we didn’t get along well, he was my husband, my Esper.

Already, he was more precious than my own life, so in spite of everyone trying to stop me, I threw myself into the raging sea of fire.

His elements were fire and wind.

It took all my willpower to trudge deeper into the roaring flames. When parts of my flesh had melted and when the pain went beyond the threshold of my endurance, I found him standing in the zenith of the pillar of fire.

As soon as I saw him, I ran and embraced him blindly. Physical contact was the best to increase the efficacy of guiding.

However, the heat that emanated from him caused even worse pain than I could ever imagine. My head started spinning and my body reflexively trembled.

I gathered all of my strength and began to absorb his heat.

The type of guiding that absorbs the Esper’s energy was something that I never would have resorted to unless it was an emergency. This was because my constitution as a Guide was closer to a normal person’s, and so it was difficult to handle the energy of an Esper that was at a high level.

I embraced him and looked up at his face, which was not in a good condition. Different from his usual cold, aloof appearance, it was as if he was letting out the cries of a beast. And before it was too late, I whispered to him.

It was the term of endearment that I’ve always wanted to call him.

“Hello, Honey…¹”

As the heat rose within my body, I felt my insides melting away. I already knew that it would end this way, but even when I was so close to the end, it still didn’t feel real.

Before I knew it, I’d become numb even to the pain wracking through my body, and I soon heard a thud. It was my body that fell over, but it felt as if it wasn’t my body. So, I just blinked and heard someone else fall beside me.

Truthfully, I wasn’t sure if it was beside me. It sounded so far away. My vision gradually darkened. Still, I was relieved that, as I saw my last glimpse of the sky, it didn’t look as red as it did earlier.

His rampage had stopped.

That was such a relief.

“…Seohyun?”

Still as ever, my heartless husband, Ciel, called my name with a monotonous voice.

I’m so glad you’re safe.

I wanted to talk, but I couldn’t because my throat was entirely lodged with blood. My consciousness was slowly drifting away, and it felt as if everything was becoming more distant.

It’s funny, but a random thought crossed my mind at that moment.

Was this the sensation of my soul leaving my body?

This…

Finally, Ciel. I think I’ll be able to let go of my feelings for you.

I loved you with all of my heart, all of my being, but now that both my body and soul will be gone, I think I can finally give up.

I thought that my heart would break when this moment came, but…

Curiously enough, what I felt even more was relief.

In my next life, I hope that I can have a family full of warmth, just like other people. I hope that I can meet a man who loves me. I hope that we can live a normal life together.

As I wished for a god out there to heed my prayers, I opened my burning eyelids so that I may see his face even in the end. And when the breeze blew past, that moment felt ever so sweet.

It felt as if I was drifting into slumber, as if my body was floating.

At death’s door, as I decided to let go—to immerse myself in that sense of tranquility—a hoarse voice reached my ears.

“You can’t…”

There was a hint of danger amidst that voice, but nevertheless, it brimmed with sorrow. It was a voice that was so familiar to me, and yet I couldn’t remember whose it was.

The world around me became dyed in red and black. Soon, my thoughts stopped and I couldn’t think of anything more.

Death so easily swept me away.

—

“Irene, are you done preparing?”

From outside the door, I heard the gentle voice of a young man call out to me. Glancing at the mirror in front of me, I looked towards Mary, my maid.

“Yes, Milady, all done now.”

“Thank you, Mary.”

“You’re truly very beautiful, Milady.”

Lastly, to hide the burn scars on the back of one hand and at the side of one arm, I wore thin yet long gloves. Then, I shouted.

“Brother! You can come in now!”

It wasn’t until I gave my permission that my older brother came into the room. David smiled gently at me. It was a smile that I’ve always seen ever since I opened my eyes in this place.

Somehow, when I came here, it felt as if I had come to possess the body of another person instead of being born again after I had died.

Irene de Closch.

It was the name of the body I had come to possess. And now, it was my name.

There was once a time when Irene was all alone in an attic. She had fallen asleep there, yet unbeknownst to her, the candle illuminating the room fell to the ground. Because of the resulting fire, which had grown to the point that it reached the back of her hand and one side of her arm, where she sustained severe burns. Sadly, this was also the cause of her death.

How did I know about that? Well, when I first opened my eyes in this world, I found myself in a small wooden casket.

You’d think that people would be spooked when someone, who had already been proclaimed dead, suddenly opened her eyes. However, Irene’s family instead held me tight as they sobbed and rejoiced.

The family firmly believed that God had taken her by mistake then returned her to them.

It had been difficult to adjust at first. The family gave me such affection and attention that it felt burdensome, and I could barely pull myself out from the vestiges of my own past, which was why I struggled.

However, even when I didn’t retain any memories of them, my parents and older brother in this world took care of me so sincerely with all their hearts. It was a feeling that I was terribly unfamiliar with, so at the beginning, I stayed vigilant around them.

After all, in my previous life, I had been an orphan who was not welcomed by anyone.

Even with my husband, who became my only family, it was like that.

As I was showered with their kindness, which did not seek any rewards, I couldn’t help but slowly accept them. The love of a family, which I had never experienced before, was exceedingly addictive.

David, too, was the most ideal older brother.

Was it not God’s gift to me that I had met David and our parents, who cared for me endlessly?

After living a life where I had not been loved by anyone at all, even until the very last moment, I could only think that this was the case.

“What are you thinking so deeply about? Rin, you sometimes space out during the most random of times.”

My older brother talked to me as I was immersed in my own thoughts. I climbed the narrow carriage that was set to depart for the city.

“Brother, are you really going to buy it for me?”

I first met them ten years ago, and at first, I was gloomy and distant around them. However, ever since then, I had changed considerably. Indeed, I used to think that flowers, as a gift to express one’s affection, was the same as saying that your love would not grow and would instead wilt over time.

Hearing my question, David let out a small chuckle.

“People might think you’re asking me to buy you expensive jewelry instead, Rin.”

“Books are expensive, too. I know that Father’s going through a few troubles with his business these days.”

“Um…”

David couldn’t refute what I said. Because it was true.

House Closch was a noble household with a very extensive history, but we were only the lowest rank—a barony.

Our territory was not blessed with fertile land, and it was located at the very edge of the empire, that’s why we couldn’t cut back on the wages we’ve set aside for the defense of the border.

However, I recently heard that even the merchant guild of our family was having a difficult time, that’s why I couldn’t even buy a book without having to think about it carefully.

Even so, David was the kind of older brother who would always dote on his younger sister.

How did he find out about the book I wanted and had the time to save up for it?

It’s not even an educational book. It was just a romance novel.

Of course, it was a truly popular book. I found out about it through Elise, who was residing at the neighboring fief.

Elise was someone who was usually very talkative, and it was just one of the many things that she told me about. But on that day, what she said about the novel particularly stuck to my mind.

And so ever since I heard about the novel, I’ve had the strangest urge to read it. Truly, I was so curious about the story that I couldn’t endure.

After I had received so much love for ten years, perhaps I’ve become more childish. Before I realized it, my exclusive maid Mary also said that same book, and so I eventually gave in and admitted that I really wanted a copy of my own.

I didn’t intend to let him know, but my brother somehow heard about it and sent an order to the one and only bookstore in our fief.

Still, I wasn’t holding any expectations because I heard that it was so popular that it’s difficult to get even in the capital. But when I heard that the bookstore had it, the two of us, brother and sister, hurriedly prepared to head out into the city.