Our eyes roll to see what we sense around… but protected with the eyelids. They shrink when we care, imitate when we love, ask for intimidation. At High school, we are friends. Boys and girls, seeking to ‘learn’ and understand life. Do you remember One Direction? Do you remember football at school? Those girls looking at this handsome guy, this boy searching for her. Those sentences which weren’t completed except in our orders. We couldn’t keep a sentence in mind except for a change or forgetting. I am a teenager! Those celebrities and surfing their news, your new T-shirt, your first eyeliner! Your eyes were tracking her, was she tracking you too? What about mental health? They told you that you were autistic, you took SSRIs, maybe you are delusional? The story talks about a boy and a girl at high school who have psychological issues that turn to mental illness during experiencing love with each other without knowing the boy that the girl loves him, as well as the girl. The common rope between them in this story is that she gets diagnosed with delusional disorder about loving each other as a fact. Later, she suffers from post- traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and gets psychosis and mania and enters a psychiatric hospital and takes ECT sessions so that she gets blur insight about her love ideas. The boy who had narcissistic personality disorder traits was really in love with this girl and he thought he was delusional. It is discovered that the boy had autism and ADHD as a kid and had been on SSRIs without knowing this fact. The family had a role in this love story  as the girl’s dad had oppressed the boy’s dad one day in business matters. And after 20 years, the day came out to make him suffer from his daughter’s illness from the boy and the boy’s dad tells the girl’s dad that God took revenge from him because he oppressed him one day.

First scene:

Eyes open in the darkness of a boy of 17 on his bed. It is

dawn. The boy is kindly walking up, washing and pray.

After saluting at the end of prayer, he stares at his

widow's sky talking to God about his dreams. This is

Ahmed, the deserving of praise for his good character.

Ahmed: Ya Allah, I’m lost in this life. I’m trying as I can to

do what you want me to do. I don’t want anything

except to be satisfied with myself. Please Allah, give me

satisfaction and pleasure, and save my family from any

crisis. Amen.

Ok, we can say now that Ahmed is a kind person. Yes, he

is in the deep corner but, there is a side which is not the

same thing.

At the same time, a girl was praying to God to let her

end these deep feelings that she can’t understand. She

was crying, she was lost as well. She said: Allah, please

help me in this life, I can’t resist anymore. I love you

more than anything.. I’m sorry if I say things I shouldn’t

say but, I’m tired of having these torturing daydreams.

I’m tired of trying to connect to people and engaging in

their conversations. I’m tired of suppressing this desire

of socializing and having fun with them and instead,

having daydreams! Please Allah, Let me get healed from

this soon. Amen.

Marwa felt relieved after her prayers and went to sleep

again, to get ready for school after a couple of hours.

We can mostly understand what Marwa’s basic

problems from her prayers are. She suffers from

dissociation and we are going to discover more.

Ahmed: MAMA, I’m going to school okay? Bye!

Ahmed’s mother: Okay honey take care of yourself.

Marwa: I’m getting out mum, Bye!

Marwa’s mother: Bye Marwa, Take care.

It is 8 o’clock at school. Ahmed and Marwa are at the

same floor, they see each other far from the corridor up

to the class from two different stairs. Eyes express

interest from Marwa’s side, Eyes express coldness from

Ahmed’s side. They enter the class which began minutes

ago.

Guys at class: Hey Ahmed! Man, how are you?

Ahmed: Good, how are you men?

And sits down.

Marwa sits in silence.

Can we see that Ahmed is a bit showy? Or maybe he is

just famous for his beauty and kindness?

This is what Marwa thought about him all the years she

knew him at school. Because Marwa was sensitive, she

hated to express that she liked him and his character

especially that year. She was sensitive and didn’t talk to

the point she was afraid of being judged by people if she

talked with her nature. She was blunt but inside she was

so calm.

Ahmed was getting vibrated with every behavior around

him at school. He was going to play football with other

grades and after minutes talk to some friends and at the

same time waving at his teacher and at the same time

drinking water and at the same time.. Hard to count! He

was so energetic as a teenager. Later, he can appear so

cold and anesthetic. What was the reason?

He had pale skin and disgusted facial expressions when

he was around people in the morning. But he keeps

exaggerating energy everywhere. Then, a cold face. It

can seem natural for a teenager but, it can seem

questionable too for Marwa; because Marwa was a fan

of personalities despite, she was an introvert. She

always felt that there is a strange thing in him. She

thought he may be schizophrenic, because she believes

she is also schizophrenic, so she can find a clue for a

thing common between them, so she can love him and..

Yay! That is how some ideas inside Marwa’s head were

flowing. Instead, she was trying to understand the

question about why she finds something in common

between them from time to time. She finds out he likes

things probably as what she likes. She monitors him

from time to time thinking about what the end of this

interest she has will take her for.

Marwa: I refuse these feelings. No, Uh.. Ok. It is ordinary

to have these feelings as I’m a teen but, no.. Uh. It is

hard.

It was all deep inside Marwa’s unconsciousness. She

never knew or perceived that her feelings were growing

for him.

She can’t remember what the beginning for these

feelings was; because she didn’t think it will matter to

remember her feelings for the one, or as defined after

some years.

One day of the school days, in Marwa and Ahmed’s class

and at the end of the lecture. She was engaging with her

mates. She was like a reliable student and friend at her

class. Ahmed was sitting in silence watching the groups

of each class. Looking at them as taking care of him as

he was the leader. Suddenly, a quarrel happens between

two guys at the front, while Ahmed was sitting at the

back. The two guys were about to harm each other. The

rest of the class were enjoying the quarrel as roosters’

quarrels! Even the teacher didn’t care and went out of

the class as his lecture ended. Marwa looked in fear at

them and felt terrified because she was sensitive.

Ahmed who was noticing that the quarrel is getting

harder went forward, jumping while saying nooo in a

furious way, and pushed himself between the two guys

and told them to stop fighting. Marwa was impressed

about how the quarrel ended at the time he went. This

time Marwa started to feel that she respects Ahmed a

lot. In fact, she couldn’t know if he did that because he

saw her afraid of the quarrel or because he is brave or

because it was occasional… She didn’t know.

After that day by day, when Marwa sees Ahmed on the

corridor at school, she looks in curiosity, then he

recognizes that she is looking at him. When Marwa

notices he is looking at her she looks away and walks like

she wasn’t looking at him. She had a feeling that she

must thank him for caring about her feelings, or the

feelings of the class, or at least for being brave and

stopping the fight of the two guys.

One day, Ahmed was at physics class, Marwa was there

too. They finished class and they started again and left.

Ahmed went with his friends looking for some joy before

going home. They went to have pizza at a restaurant as

he liked it a lot.

Marwa came home, and some changes were happening

at her home. Some relatives were there as well. She

saluted and went to her room to change clothes. A song

theme was playing on TV while Marwa was throwing

herself on the bed with open arms and looking at the

roof, saying: Oh how beautiful they are these nights. Oh

when you love truly again after long years. Marwa was

singing. She was happy. Then suddenly she stood up

from bed

Marwa: OMG! I have feelings for him. No no no no. It

shall end.

Marwa was so shocked to recognize that she has

feelings for Ahmed. She was afraid of marriage as her

parents were having bad relationships as partners. She

didn’t want to experience their life or give a chance for it

to happen.

Ahmed was having depression episodes from time to

time. One day, Marwa was moving beside him, he didn’t

recognize her, or she recognized him, but she knew that

it was him after she passed, she felt like he was including

the same that she includes inside herself. He was dizzy;

she felt some electrical energy getting out of his two

shoulders and chest and brain.

Ahmed and his friend Marwan while walking after class.

Marwan: Oh I wish I could drive that piece my dad

bought last month in Germany. It is amazing! Did you

see it on Instagram? It is the red one with a sporty

appearance.

Ahmed: Yeah, I saw it, but I don’t like those kinds of cars,

you know. I’m classic ha-ha!

Marwan: Yeah really, you don’t need to tell me. So…

Ahmed: So, what?

Marwan: You told me before that you want to drive your

father’s car. Why not drive each of our dads’ cars

tonight?

Ahmed: You know my dad will kill me. OMG I can’t

imagine. He would get angry if anything happened to the

car.

Marwan: He won’t know you are an expert in driving.

You have been driving every summer for two years in

our older friends’ cars. Don’t be that afraid.

Ahmed: I’m not afraid! I’m never afraid. I’m just

cautious. I don’t want to make dad angry with me.

Marwan: Ok, let us delay this amazing event for some

time that won’t ever come… See ya.

Ahmed: See ya.

While walking, Ahmed saw a person driving a car in front

of him dangerously at high speed and he got excited. He

smiled at how the guy’s friends who sat at the back of

the car were encouraging the guy. He was impressed by

the speculation.

After midnight of that day, Ahmed woke up with anger

and called

Ahmed: Ah Marwan…

Marwan: Hah?

Ahmed kept silent and Marwan laughed like he

understood what his friend thought of. They smiled in a

goofy way and decided to bring the cars.

Marwan: Yes, that's my boy.

Ahmed: I’m your father, don’t say it again.

Marwan: Ok daddy haha. We will see who is the son and

who is the father.

Ahmed: You will regret talking like this boy…

Marwan: We will see.

They brought the cars from home each and went to a

place where no one could see them. They were having a

competition for who would arrive at the place. They

were increasing the speed one by one until they arrived

at the edge of the city, breaking the cars. It was after

midnight about 3 am.

Ahmed getting out of the car: Haa, what an amazing

view at this a.m.

Marwan: Yeah absolutely.

Ahmed: You are getting to be a charming boy; girls are

going to like you more.

Marwan: No one is likable from girls as you we all know

this, and don’t try to change the matter.

Ahmed who changed his facial expressions of fake joy to

threatened questionable one: Ah, what matters?

Marwan: I feel there is a thing who is annoying you.

They sat on some chairs beside a tree.

Ahmed: Ah, not really.

Marwan: If not, what made you awake till this time?

Ahmed: Ah I don’t know, I just wanted to have fun and

you made me decide to drive my father’s car

unconsciously. Ahmed looked at Marwan in a hidden

feeling with a fake big smile again.

Marwan: I don’t think so. I guess it is a girl.

Ahmed who felt threatened again: No, what girl?

Marwan: Ahh man! Don’t be like that.

Ahmed who smiled in silence and his eyes got brilliant:

what made you think that way?

Marwan: because I know who she is.

Ahmed smiled in silence again.

Marwan: Ok anyway, if you want to talk don’t hesitate

to tell me.

Ahmed: Sure.

Marwan: Then I’m true!

Ahmed recognizes he made himself admit without

meaning to: Haah. Uh no no man I meant.. I meant… I

will tell you anything I want to tell you about if I’m

annoyed with you. Ah, yeah that is it..

Marwan laughed high in conquest while Ahmed looked

angry all the way home in his father’s car.

Ahmed came home and was thinking of Marwa. He was

thinking about why she looks at him that way from time

to time. Maybe she looks this way to all people. He was

thinking that he likes her. He was amazed by her eyes.

He liked her personality and how she is not like other

girls.

Day by day, he was feeling more love for her. He

couldn’t keep these feelings inside him and decided to

tell her his feelings. It was difficult for him as he was shy

in these things. It was his first-time to express feelings

like these. He didn’t know what the right thing to do is.

Days passed and exams of that year arrived. Marwa

finished her first exam of the day and went down to the

playground to revise for the second exam of the day.

The day was sunny despite it being December. She was

not well dressed because of exam hurry. She looked in

front of her from far away. She saw Ahmed there who

was very worried and anxious. He looked like he was

repeating words and looking in an anxious way. When

he recognized her, he smiled at her with a child's

innocent face. Marwa couldn’t believe what she saw,

then suddenly two girls talked beside her, and she was

in the middle of the conversation. She looked at them

and confirmed their questions in a dizzy way. She looked

at Ahmed again, she found him looking in a sad way and

when he found out she was looking at him again, he

smiled stronger than the first time. He was cheerful,

looking into the core of her eyes. He was begging her to

accept his love. Marwa couldn’t believe that he was truly

in love with her, although she thought that deep inside.

She also thought he might be waiting for a friend, so he

was looking towards her where she was in front of the

stairs. Tens of scenarios were flooding her mind. Until

she feels that he probably is in love with her and he is

asking her to be his partner. She felt she couldn't accept

his request, so she took her books away while looking at

him in a strange look. He looked in shock and looked

broken. He couldn’t believe he was refused from a girl.

His pride was broken, and he couldn’t conquer his

weakness of keeping his feelings inside or killing these

feelings. This is how he was thinking after what

happened. We can see that there was nothing to feel

bad or good at all. Nothing happened, but this led to

huge problems later “taking this scene as a base".

Ahmed looked at her for the third and last time that day,

asking her for the last time from that place with eyes:

are you sure? You don’t want me?

His eyes were sparkling for her, but Marwa looked in a

seriously strange way, and looked at her book to revise

for the exam. She was afraid of him and her reputation.

More than this, her brain was divided from that day into

two progressions. One was believing there is a feeling

from Ahmed’s side, and another was believing there is

nothing like that. He is just a silly, charming mate, who

she likes and maybe… in love with. The first side was

adding every skeptical scene of his love and configuring

it as evidence of his love. She started to feel annoyed

with these thoughts.

Exam is done, Marwa went to the playground with

friends and looked at Ahmed for the last time that day

and he didn’t see him that time. She saw him talking to a

teacher: Ms. Mona. She was asking him if he is ok

because he doesn’t look well today. He was telling her

that he is ok, affirming that he is well, despite that he

didn't look that way as he was rubbing his face in anger

like he is repressing annoyance.

Each of Ahmed and Marwa went home. Ahmed entered

his room quickly, threw himself on the bed and started

crying in silence. He felt he insulted himself by this deed.

Marwa hurt his feelings and she didn’t care, or at least

he thought that. He couldn’t imagine that one day he

will be into that situation. He started praying to God to

make him dead. And he fell asleep. Marwa was

questionable about what happened but focused on

exams instead.

On the last exam day, Ahmed became very hectic from

Marwa. Some feelings of hatred started to be

developed. This anger was because she refused him in

silence. He wanted to get revenge. Between the two

exams, he decided to gather his gang of friends and go

to Marwa's exam class while she and her friends are not

there. They started to put the chairs on each other,

smoke weed and do some annoying changes in the class

and went out. When Marwa entered the class with her

mates, she found that all the chairs were put on her

desk. This made her recognize what he meant to do at

times, but she didn’t care as she believed it would be the

best response to not care. Marwa’s silence was about

killing Ahmed every time he tried to get her attention.

The next semester began, and on the first day, Marwa

arrived at class early as usual. Ahmed came after her

arrival for some time and was looking like he was broken

and was crying after he woke up, like he was afraid he

would see her again and can’t express his feelings, that

he will see the girl who broke his heart and make him

unconscious with his deeds. A lot of thoughts like these

Marwa could read inside him. She thought she was

getting delusional as she believed. He looked at her that

way and entered, while Marwa looked in a serious face

and rolled eyes away at the teacher to listen to the

lecture.

Ahmed’s emotions were not stable. He was having bad

nightmares; he was feeling with torture because the

hardest thing a man can feel from a woman is to be

refused. Marwa didn’t know that her seriousness was

taking her to a bad way. She dealt with her emotions

with repression. She didn’t know if she did well, she

tried to avoid everything, every gesture, every talk her

friends talk about, every post on facebook she sees

about him while she surfs his account. No way! She still

loves him, and she denies it.