'Happy new years fireworks festival...' , blah blah and f**king blah. Is all I could care as I walk past the graffiti sign on the subway wall. I'm on my way to my shitty school walking in the train subway full of cigarette polluted air, half dead hobos, sleazy fat prostitutes and perverts.

I'm not one to do the whole introduction thing but since my therapist says I have to write in a diary since last summer I most well make it cringe. So dear diary my name is yuki and my friends call me kiki, joking I don't have any friends. I'm just an average looking 16 year old girl. And if you haven't guessed already I'm a introvert who wants nothing to do with people. So right now I'm in my school library hiding in my favourite corner writing. I hate people as much as they hate me. But who cares. what does humour me most is how people get excited about new years which by the way is in 2 days. All I see in two days is a sh*tty anniversary. And to change the subject before you start asking questions here is a fact about me, I can't cry. Not like I want too. But like I can't. At least not since back then. Any way better pack up this writing thing class is about to start.

"So that was sh*t and a waste of time," I mumble as I walk out the library only 5 feet away from my locker. What's the point in writing in a diar-

"Heads up!" some boy shouts as a ball flys towards my head. Just before it hits me I close my eyes and I think how ironic it is.

-I'm floating in darkness and alone. Its nice.

"...Yuki...Yuki...", says a light above of me.

"...YUKI!" this made me open my throbbing eyes.

Lifting my heavy arms towards my head and rubbing them to get some clarity of my surroundings. A blobby figure stands at the end of my bed.

"Oh finally your awake!" says a voice in relief and keeps talking.

"Hmmmm", I mimic in response. My head was throbbing at this point. Just why does this happen today like I must be unlucky. finally the taking stops and my eyes begin to clear.

A tall handsome sporty boy sits at the end of my bed. I realise I'm in the school infirmary as I look at the discolored curtains. I'm sitting up but just to fast I lose strength.

" Sh*t! You got to be careful," he said. Clenching to my arm. He slowly pulled me up in a seating positions. I sat staring down with my head spinning. I want to vomit. then I feel warmth on my arm. I stare at the dudes hand that's still holding my arm.

"Um,you can let go now," i say as he blushes and let's go.

He then stare back at me with a serious face his eyes turn the bright with questions.

"Hello, my name Istomi I'm in second year class 2A, I'm very sorry that my ball hit you," He said in a slow tone. all I could do was laugh. And his face turned red again.

"never..haha...Have...i-hahaha," I couldn't stop. Like what a morning. Calming down I pick up my things and head toward the door. As I look back I say," thanks, I havnt laughed like that for awhile, and don't worry about it , any way bye." Its true tho, I havent laughed like that in ages.

diary:

Its now lunch time and I'm sitting on the roof of the school. Today I laughed. it almost made me feel normal. Nearly. Just nearly. Anyway can I say god dammit why is it so windy today. well I guess it's going to rain but that doesn't stop me from standing on the roof. Tell you the truth tho I'm not really allowed on the roof it's just the only place were people are not around. And I have to say it's my favourite place. I love standing on the out side railing to feel the thrill of the height and some time I lean back and imagine falling. well I'm going to eat lunch so that's enough writing today.

I stand up and walk to wards the roof railing and start to feel the rain after being numb to it's touches once before. I climb over the railing and close my eyes feeling the splashes of water fall down my body. it's nice to feel something for once.

"YUKI! what are you doing?!" A voice yells from the ground. I open my eyes to see the dude from the infirmary there. what does this idiot want now.

Running through the door wet and out of breath the Istomi runs toward me. yelling," don't jump!"

grabbing my hands he pulls me over on top of him. I yell, "What the hell, I'm not jumping just leave me alone God dammit!"

both laying on the roof top in the rain. He holding me tight to his chest and all I hear is his heart thumping like hell. He breathe in saying again, "Are you serious?!"

Pushing myself out and staring down on him I say, " Will.you.just.leave.me.alone," in a very sharp tongue.

He sits up fast making me fall on my ***. were both sitting on the roof soaking wet. He staring at me this time angry. "What in the f**king name of hell do you think you are saying, I nearly draped myself seeing you looking alone on a roof standing on the edge like a suicidal idiot; like what the hell is wrong with you."

this made me stand up with rage, " who the hell am I you say well I'm just taking the edge off from this bull-sh*t Society that I live in, I'm doing my thing away from you people it doesn't matter what you people say because even if I were suicidal I ain't gonna jump from my favorite place and I ant like f**k going to do it were people like you came and play hero. just leave me alone like the rest of people and forget what you saw abd dont come up hear again. I.d.i.o.t!!!"

I grab my sh*t and go for the door until something grabs my hand. "Look I know I'm out of place to say this but would u like to be my friend,"He says calmly.

friend..friend, like f**k that! I say in my thoughts. But as I look at him I say 'yes' as a slip of the tongue and before I say anything else he is gone only leaving his formal jacket with a piece of paper in side. pulling out the scrunched paper is his web chat name. WTF

So WTF just happened like 1. there goes my peaceful lunch, 2. still processing what I just said and 3. I'm holding a boys jacket with his WeChat after being told to be his friend.

Dear diary, today I had a sh*t lunch, right now I'm writing and walking to class soaking wet with some dudes jacket on-

looking up from my diary I realise that my formal shirt is dead set see through. Pfft, no wonder for the red face and jacket such a baby, but sweet. Wait, no I did not just think that. ok moving on.

-Just realised that my shirt is see through lucky I'm wearing a good bra I guess...ha. Anyway my black hair falls lose from my sloppy bun. Great. So that's all for now.

walking into class I go for the back, lucky it's history so guess I can sleep. I'm so tired-

I'm dreaming again, how well im back to floating around in darkness alone. ha i guess things never change . I'm just empty. thinking like this gets me nowhere but whos to stop me. I. am. alone.

"Yuki... Yuki! says a familiar annoying voice.

"God can't a girl get some sleep for once," I mumble.

Opening up one eye, I see Istomi head on the desk facing me. His eyes sparkle green in the downing of the sun. Its really beautiful I say in my head.

"How long do you plan to sleep its almost 5pm, don't you want to go home?" he says in a teasing tone. Not funny I can't go home I have work at 5-

Sitting up straight I make him jump, "What time did you say it was?" I say in a panic.

"4.55pm,why?"He said in consern.

sh*t I say loud in my thoughts, "sh*t!" yelling this time running toward the door with my stuff. Istomi running after me like it's a game.

sh*t I'm gonna loose my job... I can't.ah. grabing a school bike I begin to ride but the f**king chain is broken of course. Istomi comes out with a motorbike. Of course.

"where do you need to go?" he says as I jump on.

"Straight to the subway plz!" I yell in a hurry. Thank god that Istomi has a motobike

I made it to the station and before I jumped off the bike Istomi grabs my arm again.

"yuki, I wanna ask you some thing tomorrow, can we meet on the roof again?" he says with a smile.

Since I was in a rush and had no time to argue why I don't want to. I just nod and run. running to the back I make it to the ramon shop just in time to hear, "Yuki! your late, What did I tell you." Says my small fat f**k boss. If it wasn't for living expenses and debt I wouldn't take this SH*T. I get dressed with out saying a word. As I go to walk out my boss grabs my leg.

"lucky your young uh, got smooth skin, and look at these," he said looking straight at my breasts. What a gross f**k. if only his wife ever saw this. He reeks of alcohol. I'm just surprised this place is still standing.

His hand moves up my shirt, I go to push him away but he smacks my face like a b*tch. ha. I've been slaped harder I say in my thoughts of arguments. I shove him hard into the washing room and shut the door.

"Open the door you dog, if you knew what was good for you... hahaha..... f**king open the door!!!" he spat his nonsense. there goes my job I say as I rush to grab my thing, rembering the WeChat in the jacket I take it out and call the number.

"Hello...who's this-" I cut him of fron talking and I say," look I know its not great timing but I need help like right now im at **** plz hurry.. I dont have time to explain now just hurry pl-" I hung up the phone and begin to run through the empty dark restrant. Sh*t he must of gone out the back door in the cleaning room. I'm creeping quietly through the restruant.

"hahaha, look at you, Are you scared? little girl... I'm coming for you!" he preaches in a drunken slurr.

Silence. Then a quickly out of no where I get pulled from behind into a corner with a hand other my mouth. I go to bite, but I heard the shadow whisper.

"shhhh, it me istomi ok, I came in from the back." He goes to pull me to the exit but I pull him back and whisper in his ear.

"My boss is still around here we got to be carefull," I say.

Then he replys more loudly, "you mean the little fat man that i just knocked out in one hit on my way in."

Once were out side I sit down under a street lamp turning on my phone seeing the time already 10 pm and that I had 5 miss calls from Istomi. next to me istomi sits down and

looks cross I begin to settle down from the adrenaline and start to feel the burn of the slap on my face and taste of blood in my mouth which I spit out.

Breaking the silence I start to say," well, thanks for the saving and um can you keep this to your self about it what just happened like I don't school rumours to catch up with you because your with me." Out of breath and tired I lay down only landing on the pole.

Looking up at the night sky not a star in the sky. The cold air begins to fall. One day till the anniversary I begin to fall deep in to my thoughts. Braking the silence istomi starts singing.

With his low- key voice his song hums with my frozen heart. " Follow the wind, forever you sleep, hey there my girl do you stress like you breathe. Take my hand shall we dance to a different land,oh I see... you a fighter with out fear. Won't you she a tear. just for me." it makes me flinch that last part of the song tone.

Sitting with me this cold night Istomi comforts Me in a way that I haven't had in a long time. I think I made a friend.

Dear diary today I feel like I've been hit by a bus I'm so tired. I'm at school at the moment on the roof. I woke up this morning ok. Well what can I say, yesterday was only bad luck and I guess it can only be bad luck when it comes around this time of year. Istomi is cool I guess since he helped last night but our meeting all ways comes in dramatic ways like for 1. I was knocked out from his soccer ball, second is when I was on the school roof (him thinking I was going to jump off). He even asked me to be his friend , no one has ever done that. people don't even look at me. I'm like an invisible wall but some how istomi found me. But it's only time before he forgets about someone like me especially if he knew my past.

Ahh I'm so tired from writing. I lay back all worn out. I better start looking for a job again I guess. Dumb fat f**k boss it was as hard as getting in then getting out of that job. I was only working there for 4 months. Putting my head back and looking up in the blue sky. The cold air makes my breaths look like dragon puffs. I zone out for what seems 1min. then rezoning with a hot chocolate in front of my face. I jump up nearly spilling the hot chocolate in the process as I see istomi sitting next to me staring at me with his green eyes.

"Morning Yuki," he said with a yawn that went a little too long.

"Thanks for helping me yesterday and for the trouble I put though," I say quickly. I look over at istomi who is still looking at me.

He goes to speak but bites his lip before sound escapes. "Um, I was wondering what you doing tomorrow for New years?" he said rubbing the back of his neck.

Haha, New years of course that sh*t has to be brought up. " look that one day of the year is is just something I don't celebrate," I say. For me it's more of a funeral anniversary. Scratching my nose as the cold air tickles it.

all is silent for a minute or two.

"So I'm guessing no," he said not asking any questions. all I could do was laugh at as his response.

"look if you haven't notice, I don't really hang out with people so I don't have friend and I was going to just spend tomorrow walking around looking for a new job," I say staring right at him.

istomi stood as fast as lightnong after my response. "So I'm taking you out tomorrow, meet me at xxx at 10am!" he said as he rushed off in side leaving me surprised with out my answer of rejection.

WTF

....

Finally night time I'm so tired, I can't be bothered to make dinner so I crash down on my bed. it's been a long time since I've gone to bed early. it's always quite in my apartment except for my neighbours to the right who are for ever fighting and having sex. and as for my neighbours to my left it's as they're never home. I glare at my phone to the only contacts I have left 'Istomi'. Good night I say to myself and then go to sleep.

....

next day:

Morning already I've got my hair in my mouth and my legs tangled in my blanket. I go to grab my phone to see the time. Which is 9.50am. Sh*t What the hell am I gonna do. I'm late. lucky the place is 10 minutes away. I start my rush around. Chucking on my fav black hoodie and some track suit pants and running out the door forgetting to brush my hair but that ok I never really had to brush it coz it's always so straight. Locking my door I start my run.

Running down the street full of business people I step on there feet. It's just a little trick I learnt when I was in a rush to work so I wouldn't fall over. I see istomi waiting at the fountain. Just 20 metres away.

He sees me and starts to wave. Behind him a man in a robbers mask with a knife charges in in. But in a heart beat I do a double flip over 3 metres of people. Today's the anniversary and here I am about to relive it.

All of my past that I'm trying lock away. I just wanna find the real me not drown in loneliness.

Running toward the man with the knife I whip out my gun and in one shot bang killer down. But the crowd screams and istomi just stares at me. Hiding the gun that I brought. I grab Istomi and walk him away. as we hit a corner he pulls his arm out.

"WTF was that!" he said in a hysterical voice.

he looks so confused and scared but I can't let this get to me.

I say, " look, I told you not to be close to me there things that you don't need to know and see. but I will tell you I am-was a Assisin."

looking up at him he looks happy?

"I knew you were someone awesome!" he said with no surprise in his voice.

I laugh to his response but I stop and look at him seriously, " Well thanks but I'm serious you can't see me anymore nor talk to me. or you will face death not from me but the ones after me." With that I turn and start to walk away. It was nice to have a friend. especially with someone who noticed me for once.

But I know the drill and I must move and start again.