Ch. 1 The Reason Why I Can’t Die

“Haa, haa…haa…”

She was losing her breath. She could feel her life slipping away.

However, she couldn’t give up. It couldn’t end this way. She was kneeling on the floor, and she leaned on her sword to pushed her body up. Please, just a little more…

Before her very eyes stood the man who killed her father and brother and hung their corpses on the wall as a spectacle for everyone. That wasn’t all. Because of him, her sister, who was as lovely and as delicate as a small bird, had been violated and died a miserable death.

She had endured this living hell to survive this moment alone. All so she could stab the enemy in the neck with her own hands!

However…even with that goal in sight, she didn’t have any strength to hold on to her sword. Please, please, please! She hoped she could drag him down to hell with her, for she was not afraid of death. As she struggled to lift the sword with all her might, she heard slow footsteps coming towards her, and a chilling voice resounded in the air.

“…A bitch like you did well to come this far.”

The sound of footsteps did not stop until they came right up to her. Before she knew it, she saw two sturdy feet standing tall even in her lower field of vision. As she struggled to raise her head, her dim eyes reflected his tall figure.

At first glance, he was a middle-aged man with an intimidatingly muscular body and a shaggy beard, but he still appeared impressively charismatic.

However, the man’s left arm had been hacked off. Blood constantly flowed from his wound, but his condition was much better compared to her own. Rather than losing an arm, the price she had to pay was much greater.

The woman was one of the continent’s top swordswomen for decades. Nevertheless, she could not overcome the fact that the man was praised as a genius.

Her whole body was nearly in tatters and the floor was drenched with her blood. However, her eyes glared at him in a murderous spirit, as if she did not care about her wounds.

“By my hands…I will…kill you…”

“Not likely. Even if you were reborn, the outcome wouldn’t be any different.”

She clenched her teeth. The man stole everything he had. She could never forgive him.

“Aaaaah!”

She leapt up and dashed at him with her sword.

Urk!

With a hideous noise, a blade tore across her throat.

The last moment of her life passed very slowly. Beyond her shaky vision she could dimly see her father and brother and her sister Mirabelle.

‘…I’m sor…ry.’

It was the year 387 of the Empire of Ruford.

Elena, the highest level female swordswoman, died in the Battle of Huilena, unable to carry out her bloody vengeance.

*

*

*

Flash!

Elena opened her eyes.

Something was very strange.

The soft sheets that surrounded her body and the warm sunshine coming through the windows were a sharp contrast to the moment she just experienced.

‘I…I must be dead.’

She closed her eyes bitterly. The anger at not being able to avenge her family burned fresh in her heart, but when she came to her senses she was lying in a completely different place.

At least it was more comfortable than the hell she had lived through. She had never laid down in such a soft bed since her whole family was wiped out, and she had never slept deeply because of the nightmares.

It was as if she had returned to to the era of her youth before her family fell into ruin.

‘It’s like I’ve gone back to the past…What?’

Elena scrambled out of bed. As she got up the large, cushiony mattress yielded under her. Although it would be hard for someone who knew Elena to believe, as a youth her skin was sensitive to touch and she used only the finest mattresses.

However, she still felt a sense of dread.

“…This is impossible.”

Elena’s mouth opened like a fool as she looked at the room around her. It was the room of her youth. The details were so perfect that it was impossible for it to be a recreation.

On one side of the wall were the lines she had drawn to measure her sister’s height at seven years of age, then at ten and then at fifteen. Those little letters next to the lines were all her own. She couldn’t imagine how this was happening.

After sitting dumbstruck for a moment, Elena rose from the bed as if she were possessed. She slowly approached the window and gazed outside. As she overlooked the garden she saw flowers blooming in dazzling colors in the morning sun. She could never forget her home. The scenery was unchanged from the past.

‘I miss this period of my life so much…am I being shown a fantasy right before I die?’

Elena Blaise. She had always used her family name with pride.

Although she didn’t grow up in extreme extravagance, the Blaise family had been around for many generations and lived in the south of the capital city. The family were historically counts and served as the Fourth Order of knights the royal court.

As the eldest daughter of the family she took care of her father on behalf of her dead mother, as well as helped her brother become a better knight. Sometimes it was also difficult to take care of her sickly sister by herself while managing the Count’s affairs, but it was a peaceful life and there was never much to complain about.

It wasn’t until she lost everything later that she realized how happy their ordinary lives were. She remembered the day when all her misfortunes came at once. The last time she had looked upon the garden there were no beautiful flowers, but dozens of red torches coming into the castle in perfect order. It was like they were coming closer to her, and she could not shake off her anxious mind even when there was nothing there.

The terrible memories slowly returned, and Elena shook her head then turned away from the window. As she looked back into the room her eye caught a mirror hanging on the wall.

“Ah…”

Reflected in the mirror was a noble lady in a silk nightgown with smooth blonde hair and skin as white as snow. Her eyes were red like the finest rubies, and her straight nose and petal-like lips gave her the appearance of a living doll.

That was her.

The last image of herself she remembered was very different from the one reflected in the mirror. As she stared quietly at herself her scarlet eyes trembled in surprise. It seemed far too real to be considered a fantasy. Though her natural beauty had not completely faded, she had never had such a fine figure during her career as a swordswoman.

Since she decided to avenge her family and began to carry a sword, she had cut off her long hair and had blisters on her hands from daily hard practice. As time passed, her naturally gentle eyes became venomous, and her milky skin became ghostly pale and lost color. Only a cold, hardened woman was left. However, even she could not perfectly recreate the distant images in her memory, even if it were a fantasy.

“…What in heaven’s name is going on?”

She touched her face with a perplexed expression. Suddenly, the door opened. It was rude to enter another person’s room like this without knocking, even more so if it was a woman’s room, and Elena turned her head, frowning slightly.

As soon as she saw the person who came in, she completely froze. Her scarlet eyes widened, showing her surprise before her trembling lips could even speak.

“Big sister Elena!”

Mirabelle walked into the room, smiling more warmly than the morning sun. It was like a dream. Elena forced herself to watch with breathless attention. Mirabelle had the same golden hair and dark green eyes as her father. She was small and thin for her age due to her sickly condition.

Mirabelle tilted her head briefly at Elena’s strange facial expression, but Mirabelle soon smiled and happily looked up at her.

“You’re not gonna scold me for barging in, are you? If you’re going to talk about manners, do it later. I have a real emergency right now. You might be surprised to know this.”

Elena’s eyes began to wet when she saw Mirabelle singing like a small bird before her eyes. Was this a dream? It had to be. Otherwise Mirabelle would not have appeared in front of her like this again. If so…she hoped she would never wake from here.

Tears began to slip down Elena’s cheeks. Mirabelle was surprised to see her crying suddenly.

“Sister? Is something wrong?”

Watching Mirabelle anxiously, Elena could not answer. She bit her lips to stop the sobs rising up her throat and she wordlessly took Mirabelle’s small body into her arms. She was afraid this moment would go away forever if she made a sound.

Elena clearly remembered the last time she had seen her sister. It was a pitch-black night, and her sister was surrounded by evil men and she was screaming in a completely different voice than now.

“Sister! My sister Elena! Help! Help!”

There was the sound of Mirabelle’s nightgown tearing. Elena never forgot those blood-curdling screams. It was a tragedy that happened overnight in the Blaise Castle, the most peaceful place in the world.

It was her brother Derek who caught her running towards Mirabelle. He whispered sadly but firmly in her ear, It’s too late…

If Derek had not shut Elena’s mouth and dragged her away, she could have died there with her sister. How good would that have been, and for a long time, she felt sorry for herself.

Her lovely sister. She regretted that she couldn’t save her.

She hugged Mirabelle and shed silent tears. She would never miss her second chance.

Nothing mattered now, whether it was a dream or reality. Just seeing Mirabelle again was everything.

Mirabelle looked at Elena’s tears with a troubled look, and she immediately raised her hand and patted her older sister’s back.

“Don’t cry, sister.”

“Uh-huh.”

Elena could no longer hold in a sob and it burst out of her lips. Mirabelle waited silently as she patted her sister’s back while Elena let out all the grief she had endured in her life as a cold-blooded female swordswoman. The comfort from that little hand was so warm that Elena could hardly stop crying.

But as the time passed, Elena’s composure gradually returned. Mirabelle was still in her arms and the temperature coming from her tiny body was so real. Elena murmured to herself with an incredulous look.

“…This isn’t a dream?”

Seeking to dispel the shade of doubt in her heart, she hurriedly released her arm that had been hugging Mirabelle and grabbed her sister’s small shoulder and examined her thoroughly. Mirabelle gave Elena a worried frown.

“You’re having a hard time managing the Count’s affairs alone, aren’t you? I didn’t know about that…I’m sorry that I keep whining about things.”

“…What?”

Elena couldn’t help let her mouth drop open again after seeing Mirabelle speaking as if she were really there in front of her. This was not a fantasy. Moreover, it was not even a dream. The Mirabelle in front of her looked too alive for that.

Mirabelle continued to speak with a gloomy face, as if she mistook Elena’s dumbfounded look for being scolded for her immature behavior.

“It’s just the for the first time the crown prince, who had always been away at the battlefield, will show up at the ball. I really wanted to go there with you…”

“The crown prince? Who?”

“What’s wrong with you today? The crown prince of the Ruford empire?”

Elena’s head began to spin rapidly, but she hadn’t a clue as to which crown prince Mirabelle was talking about. The Ruford Empire was one of the largest powers on the continent. In every respect, their military was far superior to those of smaller nations. From generation to generation, the belligerent emperors of the Ruford Empire loved war, and the founding myth of the empire even suggested that the emperor had the blood of a dragon.

Only the 12th Emperor Sullivan of the Ruford Empire had a gentle nature, and he helped develop an empire that cared more about developing state affairs rather than war. Under him the empire that was once obsessed with bloodshed came to prosperity. In order to achieve this, it had been said that the previous emperor intentionally chose the gentle-hearted Sullivan as his successor, different from any other emperor. If that was true, it was an wise decision.

However, the problem was with Sullivan’s brother, Paveluc.

Paveluc was at first thought to become the next emperor, but in the end he was deprived of the throne by his brother Sullivan and instead ruled over the small duchy of Lunen as a grand duke. Though many people expressed concern because Paveluc had been born with the nature of an emperor, Paveluc had kneeled and submitted to his brother.

For as long as a decade he didn’t show his claws. He waited for his chance, then the traitorous brother eventually rebelled and won. The Blaise family, who headed the Fourth Order of the Royal Family in the course of the regime’s replacement, was also purged by Emperor Paveluc.

That was the man that Elena wanted to kill all her life. Emperor Paveluc, the 13th Emperor of the Ruford Empire.

‘…Damn it.’

Elena’s eyes turned cold as she recalled those unpleasant memories. She remembered the sensation of Paveluc cutting her throat and she brought her hand to her neck.

There had been many incidents before Paveluc ultimately succeeded in his rebellion, but he could not install a crown prince because of his disgrace for being a treasonous emperor. As far as Elena remembered, there was only one official crown prince, but he had been assassinated twenty years ago. Although he had made many brilliant achievements in the battlefield, he disappeared without a single appearance in society. It was rumored that he would become the most brutal of all emperors, and if he were alive Paveluc’s rebellion would have failed. However, he died before his official debut to the royal family, so he was largely unknown.

So far no one else came to mind.

“A crown prince…did that mean the treacherous emperor eventually used his force to put someone in that position?”

It was bound to happen eventually. The Rufford Empire was extremely powerful, and even with a treacherous ruler he had leverage to get what he wanted.

“What are you talking about, sister? That’s treasonous! If our father knew that you had such a profane words in your mouth, you would be in so much trouble no matter how old you are.”

Mirabelle glanced around to see if anyone had overheard their conversation. Her cautious demeanor filled Elena’s mind with questions. She couldn’t figure out what this was all about.

“You’re being strange today. Of course, there is only one Crown Prince of Ruford. Prince Carlisle.”

Carlisle? As soon as she heard the name, recognition flashed into Elena’s head.

Carlisle van Dimitri Ruford.

Who Mirabelle referred to was the prince who was assassinated twenty years ago. Elena had a sudden realization, and it was if a tangled silk thread unraveled all at once.

“Mirabelle, what year is it?”

“It’s year 367 of the Empire. Did you forget that, too?”

At that moment Elena was unable to say anything, as if she had been struck by lightning. It was exactly twenty years in the past around the time of the crown prince’s death. And it was only year or so before the royal family was destroyed.

Elena remembered it clearly. In the past, the crown prince was to appear in society for the first time, and Elena was accompanied by Mirabelle at the ball. At the end of the day however, they had gone home without seeing him. It was only later that it was revealed that the prince did not attend because he had been assassinated, then six months later the royal family began to decline when it had been revealed that the emperor had been fighting a long-term illness.

Yes, she remembered now. Mirabelle had also rushed into her room like this when she learned the crown prince was going to attend the ball this time.

Today was…

Was it really that day? What had happened so far passed through Elena’s head in a panorama.

‘I’m really back in the past?’

It was impossible to believe. How on earth? Why? A host of unsolved questions arose. There was no one to ask, and no one to give an answer.

She began to realize that this moment, which she thought was only a fantasy, was in fact reality. She turned pale as if she had forgotten how to breathe.

“Are you alright?”

Mirabelle held her older sister’s hand carefully, gazing at her with anxious eyes. Despite such this small gesture, Elena was close to tears again. It didn’t matter how she got back to the past. Now there was a real chance to protect her family she treasured so much. She would never let such a future come again.

Elena gripped Mirabelle’s hand and spoke with a devoted whisper.

“This time, I promise to protect you. No matter what happens…”

Mirabelle slowly nodded at her sister’s strong words. She was acting strangely today. At first she had thought Elena was under stress for having to manage the Count’s affairs, but Elena had said some unexpected things.

“Are you really okay, my sister?”

“Of course, especially when you’re in front of me like this. How could I not be okay? This moment is for me…I cannot describe how much I appreciate it. Thank you for being alive, Mirabelle.”

Mirabelle’s face flushed with embarrassment. She didn’t understand why her older sister was acting this way, but she smiled shyly anyway because it meant Elena loved her. The fact the Elena was the best sister in the world would never change.

Elena leaned back, hugging Mirabelle tightly, and looked at her tenderly as if she was handling a fragile object. Elena couldn’t almost bear to look at her, and her heart ached for the future that Mirabelle didn’t know.

A thought suddenly came to Elena’s mind.

“Where is Father now?”

“You said yesterday that Father had urgent business today and he wouldn’t be back until evening.”

“Oh, did I…”

Elena gave her an awkward smile then thought carefully. In order to avoid the same tragedy she had to do something at once. There wasn’t much time left to change the future.

Should she run to her father and tell him about his future? Elena immediately shook her head. It was doubtful whether he would believe this outlandish story, which she found difficult to understand herself, and even if he believed what she said, the Blaise family was absolutely loyal to the royal family. Her father was a man who would fight to the death rather than run away. Because of this, he had been killed in his previous life by the Emperor Paveluc.

How could she stop Paveluc from becoming emperor? No one knew it now, but the 12th Emperor Sullivan was suffering from a serious long-term illness. The present emperor would die soon.

‘…Should I assassinate Paveluc before then?’

Even if she returned to the past and her skills with the sword did not disappear completely, it would be necessary to train her body again to peak physical condition. She had failed in her original goal, but she was still the one who pointed her sword at the infamous Emperor Paveluc cut off his arm.

But even if the assassination was successful…

The royal family would hunt down the person who killed Paveluc, ignorant of his deeds. The Blaise family wouldn’t be able to avoid responsibility. And if she failed…

She closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to even think of the outcome. Although she did not want to admit it, she had worked her whole life to kill Paveluc. Elena knew better than anyone how strong he was. She had already lost to him once. Was it possible to win with this second chance? There wasn’t a guarantee that she would be able to kill Paveluc this time while concealing her identity. She could not risk the lives of her family against such a slim chance.

‘…I can’t afford to fail.’

Even if the worst possible outcome were to happen, she needed to be able to ensure that the Blaise family survived, but a good plan didn’t come to mind. Even though she had valiantly sacrificed herself in her previous life, she was more ashamed that she could not avenge her family’s deaths.

She had done everything that could be done alone. Now he needed an assistant to give her strength.

‘If there was only someone who could help me…’

There was only one person that came to mind.

‘…Prince Carlisle?’

To her knowledge, he was supposed to die in a few days. But…what if he didn’t die? The crown prince, son of the present emperor, would be the biggest obstacle to Paveluc, even if Carlisle only accomplished half of his achievements on the battlefield. No, it would be very helpful if the rumors about him were true. Furthermore, if she could make him emperor he could stand in the way of Paveluc’s rise to power.

She had to save Prince Carlisle, someone who should have died. It would be a decision that would further shake the whole continent. The effects of it would be unpredictable. After a moment’s hesitation, Elena laughed at herself coldly.

‘I don’t care if the whole world drowns in blood. I only want to save my family…’

She would walk with a smile down this bloodstained road. Elena looked down at Mirabelle’s bright eyes and made a deep vow once again.

She’ll save her this time. No matter the cost.

After Elena made up her mind, she began to feel anxiety creep up on her. The time when Prince Carlisle would be assassinated already overlapped with the present. Although the exact time when he was killed was unknown, she fortunately remembered the location as the assassination had been the most talked about event before the rebellion.

There was no time to waste. It would be a disaster if she missed this window of opportunity to save Carlisle’s life. Blaise Castle was located in south of the capital, and it would take several days to get to from here to there. She had to make haste as soon as possible.

“Our brother Derek is training now, isn’t he?”

“Yes, it’s always the same. If he doesn’t hold a sword for even a day, he’ll probably get a rash.”

Mirabelle adorably stuck out her tongue and Elena looked at her lovingly. Elena had missed her sister so much. She was anxious to keep her eyes on her even more, but now she was in a hurry. She stroked Mirabelle’s soft hair and spoke to her sadly.

“Mirabelle, I have to go somewhere for a while.”

“Huh? Where are you going?”

“It will be a few days.”

“That long? I’m coming with you!”

Mirabelle clutched at Elena’s nightgown. Perhaps it was because Mirabelle didn’t remember their mother, who had died early, but the young girl had always hated being away from her older sister since she was a child. Elena did not hate Mirabelle for following her like a mother, and they had little memory of being separated until their family had been destroyed in their previous life.

The decades of living without Mirabelle had been extremely lonely. Elena wanted to indulge her sister and listen to everything she said, but this wasn’t the time.

“I have to go alone…”

She quickly turned her head away. She had to be away for at least a few days to rescue Prince Carlisle, but she couldn’t disappear for no reason. This wasn’t a life when no one stopped her as a swordswoman, no matter what she did. She was the daughter of a Count who had to tell everyone her every move.

A memory flashed through Elena’s head and gave her an idea.

“I have to go see Glenn, and you can’t travel that far with me.”

“Glenn?”

“Yes. I heard from her by letter a while ago, but I think I should go there myself.”

Glenn was a baroness who lived on a rural estate and was a distant relative of the Blaise’s. She loved both Elena and Mirabelle and, although not a frequent visitor, would make sure to visit Blaise Castle whenever she visited the south. Elena remembered that Glenn had been very nervous preparing for her wedding. In Elena’s previous life she had only attended the wedding day to congratulate her, but now she had to leave Blaise Castle under any pretext. Glenn, who had been her good acquaintance since childhood, would make a good excuse.

Elena glanced at Mirabelle’s face with apprehension, wondering if her memory might have been wrong. Luckily, however, Mirabelle spoke with a subdued look as if she already knew about Glenn.

“Do you still have to go there by yourself? If you’re worried, you should send someone else…You can’t travel that far just to see if something is up. Besides, this house is nothing without my sister.”

“In some ways, a wedding is the most important thing in a woman’s life. I need to visit her myself.”

“But…”

“Glenn has a lot of hair and she worries about taking care of it every day. If I go there in person it will help her greatly.”

“…Tch.”

Mirabelle pouted in disapproval, and Elena sighed. If the future didn’t depend on her saving Prince Carlisle, she would never leave her sister’s side for a long time.

“My sister is too nice for her own good.”

Elena smiled faintly at that. She didn’t care if the world was stained with blood for the sake of her family, so the word “nice” was far from appropriate. It was impossible to estimate how much blood must be shed by her hands to save the Crown Prince Carlisle, but Elena just smiled innocently.

“I’ll bring you a present when I get back.”

“Really? I’ll be looking forward to it.”

“Yes. I’ll pick something you like, so be patient.”

“Yay!”

As if she had completely forgotten her opposition to Elena leaving, Mirabelle smiled as bright as a flower that would soon bloom. Yes, Elena wouldn’t mind being a demon of hell to protect this smile.

“Then you should wait at home quietly. When Father gets back, I tell him I’ve gone to help Glenn’s wedding.”

“Okay. You have to come back as soon as possible, sister.”

“I promise. I just need to say goodbye to Derek and then I’ll leave right away.”

“Already?”

“The sooner I leave the sooner I can come back.”

Mirabelle’s expression turned sullen, but then her face soon lit up with an idea.

“Then I’ll ask the chef to make lunch so you can eat it on the way.”

“You don’t have to–”

“In the meantime go talk to Derek!”

Mirabelle left in as much of a hurry as she could, and Elena smiled sadly to see her go. Mirabelle was a weak child who could never run properly, and although she was seventeen years old, she was small and thin for her age and looked only fourteen. Elena was worried to see her run slowly, but felt moved at her efforts. When she saw this bit of kindness, she couldn’t help but realize that she really was back.

After a moment of gratefulness, Elena quickly came to her senses and sat down at her desk. She planned to leave the house under the pretext of helping Glenn’s wedding, but Elena wasn’t sure if she could really visit her. She was planning to send Glenn to a master beautician just in case, and planned to let her know this in advance so that she could avoid a difficult situation later on. Elena wrote a letter to Glenn about going to help with the wedding, then another letter to the most famous hair salon in the capital city. The two letters were sent straight away, each bearing the seal of Count Blaise.

*

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*

“Haaa!”

The strong smell of sweat and the sound of heavy breathing came from inside a training hall. Unlike the large areas where the knights trained as a group, Derek, her older brother and the next heir to the Count, preferred this quiet, cozy place. He was absorbed in practicing his forms and was unaware of Elena’s approach. She observed him quietly without saying anything for a moment.

“…My brother.”

For a long time when she had to survive alone, she had held a grudge against Derek in a corner of her heart. Not only did he forcibly prevent her from trying to save Mirabelle, but…

He died to save her.

Elena had been dragged out of the castle, leaving Mirabelle in jeopardy, and Elena was so dazed out of her mind she couldn’t tell whether it was a dream or reality. The cries of the servants filled the air, and the smell of blood stung her nose. There were the footsteps of the knights and the sounds of yelling.

Until then, Elena was only the ordinary daughter of a count and found herself helpless to this nightmare. Derek finally raised his hand and slapped her. Her head jerked to the side with a loud smack. Her cheeks, which had never been hit before, quickly turned red, but her eyes widened into awareness. Derek spoke seriously, holding her face squarely in both hands and staring straight into her eyes.

— Elena, I can buy you some time so you can escape. Don’t look back and go to Arden. Our family’s safe house is there, so you must hide until you know what’s happening.

She didn’t fully understand what Derek was saying, but she nodded at his fearsome eyes. There was the sound of approaching voices and Derek pulled out his sword. He turned back to her and spoke again.

— Go. Go and survive, sister.

That was the last time she saw him. She watched her brother’s back gradually get farther away, then she turned and began to run in the opposite direction. She didn’t do it to live. She was too terrified and simply followed her brother’s commands. Through her haze of terror she didn’t realize until her dress her torn and her bare feet were covered with blood that Derek, her dear brother, sacrificed himself. She kept running through the pitch-black forest even though she could hardly see anything. That dark night was the most terrible night in all of Elena’s memory.

Only later did she identify the mangled bodies of her father and brother hanging on the wall like a spectacle for all to see. When she saw them she felt her blood drained out of her body. Not even a scream came out of her mouth. There was only the sky and earth were collapsing in on her. She wanted to follow her family, but she was so angry and bitter that she couldn’t even kill herself. Her brother had wanted her to survive.

Surviving was hell. It had been heavy and stifling to carry her family’s deaths with her and she became resentful at her brother for saving her and sacrificing his life. As a matter of fact, Derek had always been scary and hard to deal with, and growing up as the heir of a Count he was as blunt as his father. He rarely said thank you or sorry during Elena’s childhood she wondered if all knights were like this.

And in the end, he had sacrificed himself without any special hero’s death. Elena was unable to express either her gratitude and resentment towards him, and what she wanted to say to him built up to a mountain of words in her heart. Funnily enough, she didn’t realized how much she loved him until he died. She blamed him for leaving her alone…

She had missed him as bitterly as she was angry at him.

“How long have you been there?”

Derek belatedly noticed Elena’s presence and interrupted her thoughts in a low voice. She had to clear her throat before she answered.

“Just a moment ago.”

“What is it?”

Elena’s heart warmed at his straightforward style of speaking, unlike in the past when she found it difficult to communicate with him.

“I’m going to be gone for a few days to help Glenn prepare for her wedding. I just stopped by to say goodbye to my brother.”

“Yes. Be careful.”

Derek had an uninterested look in his face and he started to clean his sword. Elena turned around, took a few steps, then stopped and and looked at him again. She saw the both the present Derek and the one from her previous life overlapped in her eyes.

“Brother.”

“…?”

He looked at Elena with surprise, as if the conversation already been over for him. Then, under the bright sunlight, Elena came into view with her wavy blonde hair and scarlet eyes that shone like jewels.

“…I really wanted to say thank you.”

“What?”

Derek asked dumbfoundedly, but Elena only went on her way with a mysterious look on her face. He tilted his head. Elena seemed different from yesterday. She was his precious sister, but they hadn’t been very close. As he watched the growing distance between them he mumbled in a worried voice,

“By the way, she’s probably not taking enough guards.”

After meeting with her brother, Elena went into the armory where swords, bows, arrows, armor and all kinds of weapons were stored. Ordinary people were restricted from entering, but fortunately there was no place in the Blaise Castle where she couldn’t go. Nevertheless, she avoided everyone’s eyes, and passed the neatly displayed weapons and headed for the innermost part of the room. She passed through a dark and narrow corner before arriving at pitch-black suit of armor standing in lofty grandeur.

Elena knew how special that armor was. It was used by her mother when Elena was still a child. The metal used to make the armor was so expensive and so pure that even official knights couldn’t afford it. It was only until she became a swordswoman did she realize its value, but it had been taken away before she could wear it.

As she gently placed a hand the armor her eyes moistened with emotion. The cool, solid touch under her palm stirred her memories. As a child she thought of the armor as her own, but after her mother died her father was against women learning sword fighting. For this reason she had never learned swordsmanship despite being born into a family of knights. In the end she had to learn it it anyway. Perhaps it was fate. After recalling the past, she soon began placing the armor into her large sack.

‘I know that Father misses Mother and cannot bear to use her precious items, but I will use it to save him.’

Furthermore, her body was less physically fit than in her previous life and she needed good armor to protect her.

After finally placing the black helmet in the sack, she selected an unused sword. It was the first one she had held since returning to the past, but to her it was just yesterday. Her soft, un-calloused hand awkwardly gripped the solid handle, but her mind felt a strange sense of perfect understanding. She was fortunate that her training never left her.

Elena unsheathed the sword from the scabbard and saw her face reflected in the sharp blade. The face of the woman was much different than the cold swordswoman of the past, but the determination in her heart burned fiercer than before. Elena brandished the sword in the air a few times and muttered to herself.

“…I’m only half as good.”

Her speed and power were limited in this untrained body. However, she had swung a sword thousands or tens of thousands of times, and the battles where she had risked her life was beyond count. No matter how weak and slow she was, she knew exactly where to swing her sword. There were more times where she had fought in dire circumstances than in favorable ones, and she had become resourceful in bad situations.

In one battle their supply unit had been annihilated and they starved for three days and three nights, while others fought crippled and barely able to move. They survived every moment. After persevering like this for so many years, even her untrained body was not diminished in ability. She concluded that while her power was significantly lowered, she could overcome it to some extent with experience and instinct.

Elena finally sheathed the sword and placed it in her sack, tying it with a knot that could not be opened easily. She suddenly realized that carrying a huge sack by herself could attract some attention. It wasn’t easy to shake off the mentality of being a hardened killer who did everything herself, but now she couldn’t forget she part of the aristocracy. After leaving the armory and putting as much distance as possible from it, Elena called out to a passing servant. The servant approached her and Elena pointed to the large sack.

“Take this to my carriage.”

“What are all these large items, My Lady?”

“These are gifts for Glenn when we arrive.”

“That much? When Glenn sees all of this, she will be happy to see you.”

Though size and weight of the sack was a little unusual to be a gift to a lady of nobility, the servant didn’t think much of it and did as Elena ordered. Other luggage, such as dresses and other items, were already taken care of by the other servants. When Elena confirmed that everything necessary was loaded, she stepped up to board the carriage.

“Hah, hah. Wait a second.”

Mirabelle held on to her skirt with one hand as she ran towards to carriage while with her other hand she held a large picnic basket. Elena paused at the sight of Mirabelle hurrying towards her, then stepped down and hurried in her direction.

“Mirabelle, be careful. You’ll get hurt.”

But Mirabelle did not slow down until she was right in front of Elena. She took in deep gulps of air and gave her sister a bright smile.

“I don’t want you to go without eating, so please take this.”

Mirabelle gave her the basket and as Elena took it confusion crossed her face. The weight of it was too heavy for her to even contemplate.

“You’ve prepared so much in such a short time. It’s like a feast.”

“Did you forget the person that told me that eating well every day would make me healthier?”

Elena became momentarily speechless. That was what she used to say to Mirabelle, who always had grudges about eating.

Mirabelle realized that she was holding her sister up, so she quickly pushed Elena into the carriage and spoke in a cheery voice.

“Go on and come back quickly. And don’t forget my present.”

After being pushed inside, Elena wistfully looked through the window at her sister.

“…I’ll be back.”

“Yes. Be careful, sister.”

The large wagon set off and Mirabelle waved goodbye. Elena held her head out of the window until and watched until her sister disappeared from view. She almost wanted to cry when she promised that she would be back again. She couldn’t believe she had a place to return to.

Elena suddenly remembered basket on her lap. She placed it on the seat next to her and took out the food items one by one. Inside was a generous salad with fresh lettuce and chicken breasts, a ham sandwich, boiled eggs, cutely decorated rice balls, and finely chopped fruits. They all looked delicious to eat. Mirabelle’s lunch box seemed to be endless feast of all of Elena’s favorite foods.

“…”

She neatly spread the food in the carriage, but she couldn’t bear to eat it. Sophie, the maid sitting up front next to the carriage driver, looked at her through the window anxiously.

“My Lady, are you all right?”

Elena was holding her face in her hands and appeared like she was crying.

“…It’s okay. I just–I am a happier person than I thought…”

She had always missed these moments when her family was still alive in her previous life. Her father, her brother. Mirabelle. How she had wished hundreds and thousands of times that they there were alive. Now she was happier than her imagination could even dream up.

“…How could I eat all of this food?”

Sophie replied, not understanding the preciousness of the food to Elena.

“If you like, we can wrap it up again later.”

Elena nodded, rubbing her wet eyes with her palm.

“Yes…That will do.”

Her whole family was now alive. As long as that was, her happiness would last forever. Now Elena was leaving so she could never lose it again. She would be sure to change the future at all costs.