One hour? no. Maybe 2 hours?! or maybe 3 more hours he will come?! Who knows. I can't guess. I will keep waiting until he comes. however long it is, even if you have to wait until tomorrow though. I will still wait for it.

There he is, after 2 hours of waiting he finally came. Wearing a jack shirt and black pants, not forgetting loafers with the same color and also his hair which is always neatly combed back. Her name is Opal. We have been dating for 11 years, but none of our family members know about our relationship.

“Waiting for long?” I shook my head with a smile. These 2 months he was assigned out of town to take care of the branch factory by his father. Long time no see and just texting through WA makes me nervous when I have to meet.

“Just finished. when are you coming home?” when he came, I just wanted to touch his pale white hands or just hug him, but I couldn't. This is funny.

“Yesterday. Small gifts!” Ophal put a paper bag on the table, smiled at me and asked me to open it.

“Wew...,” He always knew, clay and I have fallen in love with each other since I could set my feet on the ground the first time. “Thanks yes!” Can't stop how I feel right now. Opal gave me a pottery craft in the shape of 2 rabbits. Black and white in color. “Why?” I saw the sudden change in expression on her face. “Is there any problem?” this is what i think.

“Kris, I want us to break up!”

“What?!” I hope this is a dream, I wish I woke up soon and this day never came. I looked out of the cafe through the entrance. I saw several people chatting and heard their laughter that sounded so clear. I then looked at the cashier who was giving change to visitors. Touching the cold coffee cup in front of me and I know this is not a dream. “What is the reason?” I need an explanation. 11 years, that's not a short time. If our time together was likened to a child, he would probably have almost graduated from elementary school by now. He might already be able to ride his own bike, Running here and there with agility.

Ophal showed his right hand which he had kept hidden. A ring wrapped around her ring finger. Simple gesture, but easy to understand. “I'm betrothed” she said softly. “Dad's company is almost bankrupt, we have debts. We have mortgaged my savings, brother and even the house to pay off the debt. Everything is still not enough!” Shocked, I don't know what else to say. Ophal has never said this to me, she has always been mum about her work issues. Always asking me to never interfere in his business and prayer also never told me anything. “Lazuardy have agreed to help with a crisis at our company. lending funds and doing cooperation, but they have one condition to make the cooperation go on so that you will not leave them after being helped. Marital bond!” I understand. This isn't a real marriage, just a business arrangement. “Father can not ask my brother to do it. What about the fate of his two children and his wife later?! For that, I am the one who has to carry out this role!” Ophal looked down. Since he came his eyes were red. At first I thought that it was because she had to be gentle as usual, but now I know that it's not because of overtime.

“Didn't Lazuardy hanay family have an only son?” Who doesn't know them, the owner of the biggest art gallery in the city where I work. Hospital with the best facilities and also a series of other assets. “Lazuardy as far as I know only have an only son and he seems to be around your age!,” Nikolai Anderson Lazuardy, the only son who inherits all of The Lazuardy family's assets after his father's death. I've never met her, even though he is the owner of the gallery where I work.

"No, the family has a daughter, indeed not the biological child of Mr. Blue, Mr. Blue has a son from his first wife, while his marriage “No, the family has a daughter, indeed not the biological daughter of Mr. Lazuardy, Mr. Lazuardy has a son from his first wife, while from his second marriage his wife brought a child a girl named Anne.”

I tried to smile, but it was so hard. “All right, that's fine. I'm sure this is the best for us.” Trying to endure every pain I feel and keep trying to calm Ophal. “We must know and realize this relationship will not last long. I warned you from the start. Sooner or later we will part. We live in a society, We have demands and we can't always do what we want. We're not high school kids anymore!”

11 years ago we met. I'm a MABA and Ophal was my senior then. Shocked half to death at that time. One day after the orientation was over, Ophal expressed his love for me. ‘I wasn't gay then', Confused, shocked, scared because he is 2 years older than me. I was afraid that at that time I would be bullied if I refused. Given that Ophal is the student council president, while I'm just an introverted kid who doesn't even have friends because I just moved. I finally accepted, but it's not for long. After 3 months of us dating, I asked to break up. The reason is, I'm afraid my mother will be angry and how will my family accept me?! Their only son dating a boy?! Ophal is kind, the kindest man I have ever met. At that time he begged me to come back. Can't bear it, so I accept it.

11 years we are dating. Every day we walked like a pair of thieves. Covering even the smallest part of our relationship, until 2 of my best friends and one of Ophal's brothers found out. Shattered already, our camouflage easily destroyed in just 1 year. Luckily at that time Mona and Lidya didn't say anything to my parents, even though our relationship was tenuous until that day. Ophal's cousin also chose to remain silent. He didn't support us, but he didn't hate what we chose either.

“We're really going to break up?” He pitifully in front of me, but I can only smile.

“That's what you asked for and that's what we should do!” It would be a lie if I wasn't sad, but what could we do. We are part of society and we will not be able to live alone. Where the feet stand, then that's where the sky is upheld. “I've never regretted it, even though everyone would say that right is a sin. Thank you for everything you've given me so far, you always make my life feel so special and meaningful!” We shook hands, like two best friends.

“We can still be friends right?” I can't answer that for now, just shut up and smile at him.

...----------------------------...

My tears broke when I got to the rented house. I sat near the entrance. Picked up my phone, but confused who should I call. Father? Mother? they didn't know that I had been dating Ophal all this time, they only knew that we were good friends.

‘Is it wrong if I end up liking him? Is our relationship wrong? if wrong, why am i created with this feeling inside me? Did God play with my feelings on purpose? ’ I took a deep breath in between my sobs. Trying to think clearly. No, god wasn't wrong! I'm the one here at fault! I admit it. Finally I realized, here I was wrong. If only I had refused emphatically. If only we had broken up earlier. If only we had never met. I should have taken another school. I should have asked mom to apply to a school close to home. If, if and if, that's all that is currently on my mind. ‘But, who can make this supposition come true? If?! ’ Unfortunately I can't turn back time. Now everything is done. ‘What should I do? this pain?! it hurts like it's been slashed. How can I cure it? ’.

Not sleeping all night and only absorbing a bowl of instant noodles is the perfect combination to make me collapse any time. At 11:30 when we entered the break, I decided to take a short nap. Luckily the gallery visitors are quite quiet. I fell asleep several times and ignored their questions about the paintings.

“Sorry..., I'm really sleepy” Instead of getting sympathy, a friend actually threw tissue balls at me.

“Really spoiled, like a girl!”

“I'm a real boy!” want to wear him it feels. “Didn't sleep last night, I swear I'm so dizzy!” I'm trying to beg.

"You go home at 3 o'clock. It's not a pity that the salary is cut!” dear dear, I just can't hold it anymore. Seeing the floor beneath me as it rose a few inches in front of my face. “Get some sleep there! We will wake up at half past two!” I followed Antonnie's advice, a senior who had worked at this gallery 2 years earlier than me.

There are no beds in the staff room. There are only 2 long sofas and a round table near the door which is usually used for mokbang lunches by employees, aka lunch if they don't have money to go to the cafeteria. I went to the locker room, reminded of the old mattress in the locker. I immediately took it and used it to sleep.

...----------------------------...

After a few minutes of sleep, someone woke me up. My feet were tapped hard enough and his voice sounded so panicked. “Kris.. get up!! gosh the kebo didn't wake up!!” I'm trying to get up. My heart is still beating very strong. “The boss is coming, hurry down! do you want to be fired?!”

“What?!” Startled. I fell because I slipped on the mat. Antonnie took my hand and I staggered behind him. Trained with my life that is still half left. I panicked half to death, when I saw all the employees lined up neatly near the gallery entrance. “You're too late to wake him up!” I blame Antoninne, It seems like he didn't wake me up earlier on purpose.

“Not thank you instead angry. I should have asked the boss to see you while you were sleeping!” He ended up getting mad at me.

I stood at the very end of the row and Antonnie was in another line across from me. My heart beats so strong, banging asking to jump from its place. An Audi pulled up to the gallery door. A man wearing a complete black suit immediately opened the back door of the car. This is my first time seeing the owner of this place. 7 months I worked in the gallery, I never once met him. I only know from magazines or talk shows about successful young businessmen. also several commercials on television that he starred. Really this is the first time I will know an only son Lazuardy directly Nikolai Anderson Lazuardy.

‘ Is it really him? ’ A young man with a tall, well-built body. Her smile and expression were so cold and stiff, very different from what I saw in the magazine. Pale white skin like snow with thin lips as red as blood and slightly black eye bags. The person looked at every employee in the left row where Antonnie was. I saw Ilyas who was bent over with trembling legs. ‘Terrifying! ’ Ilyas has worked for 3 years in this gallery. Not in a cage the effects would be that dire to him.

“Are you a new employee?”

A voice so foreign, sounded heavy and intimidating. My view immediately shifted, from looking at Ilyas who was scared to a pair of dark onyx who were staring at me intently. “Y...y..yes,” My voice is like a choke in my throat. I looked down, scared. Even just to lift your head and look at it.

“Are you comfortable here?”

Surprised when I heard this question. I saw a pair of black shoes approaching me, it reflexively made me step back. The atmosphere suddenly became silent. The temperature in the surroundings seemed to drop suddenly. “Sorry!” The cold glass door touched my body. There's nowhere for me to run, I'm cornered. I had to look up, staring at a smile that led to a grin on the blood red lips of the man in front of me. In stark contrast to her pale white skin.

“I hope you can feel at home here!” I was unable to answer, something seemed to make my breath stop for a moment. It hurts, just to breathe my chest feels heavy. Coupled with a pair of dark onyx that looks at me as sharp as the eyes of a hawk. The fear seemed to tug at my body sinking deep into the cold dark ocean.

When I realized and began to be able to control my fear, the sound of shoe soles hitting the marble floor faded away. Slowly, slowly until it finally disappears.

I sat limp where I stood. Sweat filled my whole body. I held my chest which ached because my heart was beating so hard. “Kris, are you okay?” A cleaning service employee helped me up. “Get him a drink!” He asked his friend to get me a glass of water. “Wait, yes. The boss isn't that scary. He is super kind and caring gentle man!” I ignore those words, My heart is beating fast and my chest still hurts.

“Thanks” When a cleaning service employee handed me a glass of water, I immediately drank it until it ran out. I turned my head, saw another employee leave following Mr. Nikolai to the main hall.

“Calm yourself first. Neutral is your breath, just following another!”

What the cleaning service officer said is true. My legs are also still very weak, even just to stand. I catch my breath, trying to get up and catch up with my friends.

...----------------------------...

‘ Cold! why is this room so cold? ’. I looked out the window, where red maples were starting to fall. Hovering week in the air then fell to the ground. “Fall! you are pathetic just like me,”

“Last summer's visitors increased by 20%, my estimate was probably only 17% at the most. It seems that visitors are discovering a new charm of this place!” Mr. Nikolai pays attention to the brass iron crafts in the form of bonsai which are displayed in a row not far from him. A cherry tree of 10 meter tall Brass twine grows twining around the pillars of the hall Somei Yoshino. The small branches of the cherry tree spread out and almost filled the room. The details of the leaves and cherry blossoms are made in neat shapes. Even the indentation of each twig is made as detailed as possible. Attractive and beautiful. “keep it up. I hope a lot from you!” Mr Nikolai's message to us.

Mr. Aidin, the head and caretaker of this gallery, who came with Mr. Nikolai, bowed so politely. The 50 year old man seems so loyal to his boss. “Thank you very much for the compliment sir. We will continue to try to maintain this place so that in the future it can attract more visitors. This place is master's relic Lazuardy most unfortunately, I will take care of it as best I can!”

A chuckle could be heard from Lazuardy young. “Yes, I initially thought exactly this was trash. I almost sold it. Thank you for your advice then, I didn't know this place would turn out to be so precious!”.

‘ What? is this place for sale?! is he crazy?! ’ This art gallery is my dream since childhood. I am amazed at every work of art that is here. I think sir Lazuardy have a very good taste in art. ‘ How could he do that?! ’ I grumbled to myself, wanting to be angry but afraid of being fired.

I looked out the window again, looking at the maples outside that were falling to leave their black branches. Someone is looking at me, I turned my head. Seeing Mr. Nikolai who was facing towards me, our eyes met. Different from before. I'm getting used to it. I smiled and bowed to him. I'd probably be really mad at him if he sold this place, but seeing him who was very impressed with the progress we had made, I began to realize what I had to do to keep him going.

Praise from a Mr. Nikolai turned out to have a big influence on us. Because our performance is considered good, Mr. Aidin said that he would give us an additional salary next month. “Your work is great, very good!” Mr Aidin never stopped praising us. “I don't know how to thank you anymore!” he looked at the row of paintings belonging to the family Lazuardy on display in this gallery. “This place was almost sold, it's no joke. I beg that this place be maintained. Because this is where I started my career working for the family Lazuardy,” I was very touched to see him almost crying. “Thank you very much!” He even bowed before us all. Employees who were even far lower than him. We bowed back as a form of respect and then applauded him.

...----------------------------...

“Do you guys know each other?!” Alice pulled my arm. Get away from the mob of employees who are eating pizza.

“What does that mean?” I kept the paper cake plate filled with pepperoni pizza slices. I almost fell when he grabbed my arm. “Who?” I was confused by what Alice said.

“Mister Nikolai! he never takes his eyes off you!!” Alice pointed right in front of my face with an irritated expression. “You probably didn't know him before!”.

“Everyone I think knows about family Lazuardy, especially Mr Nikolai. Because he is very popular, but for' know' like you mean. Like I know you, Honestly today is the first time in my life to see him in person!” Alice looked at me in shock, but I wasn't lying.

“You're not lying are you?" Can only laugh at Alice's question.

“For what I lied, I'm not paid!” Feeling that there was nothing more that I needed to talk to him about, I quickly left. I need a drink, a glass of cola to accompany my pizza. I left Alice who kept looking at me with suspicious eyes and gathered with the other employees.

Unfortunately I couldn't ignore those words. What Alice said just now was true. ‘ Weird, why is that? ’ No. I don't know my boss, just so you know. From the first time he came in, I felt that he kept watching me. This even happened when I was lined up with other employees in the hall Somei Yoshino. ‘ I think it's because I'm a new employee! ’ This is what I thought. ‘Maybe my performance is still in question? ’ this is possible.

“Daydream what? you already got a bonus, do not continue to eat instant noodles!” Ilyas gave the last piece of pizza from the box in front of us.

“Alright, I'll go shopping after I get home from here” it's time to add nutrition when my salary is increased.

“Isn't Mr. Nikolai's sister getting married?” said an employee almost made me choke. I immediately turned to him who was sitting at the end of the room.

“Wow, which lucky person can become a son-in-law Lazuardy?!” said the employee who sat not far from me. “I want to be rich too!” he laughed so hard it filled the room.

“You want, but does Mr. Nikolai's brother want with you?!” instantly the space of the employees became boisterous.

It hurts to have to think about it again. I want to quickly forget everything, but can't. Want to ask that this fact never happened. Want God to remove that 1 day for the rest of my life, that yesterday and all the times I've known and met that person never existed.

Food that should taste good, Now it's tasteless in my mouth. I chew it fast, pushing the food into the esophagus with the help of cola. I looked at the clock, We should be closing in a few minutes. I saw that some of the cleaners had turned off the lights and taken down the safety bars on the windows.

“Can you help me?”

I turned my head, when someone approaches. He is Adam, the youngest employee on our team. “Yes?”

“Isn't your house not far from here?!”

"Right, what is it?” I'm curious.

“Would you like to go to the Columbarium which is not far from the town square? I have to go to the village and my train ticket at 10 o'clock. Today is the 1 year anniversary of my mother's death. Will you pray for him?”

“Eh?” I am shocked. “But, is it okay? How do I know it's your mother's ashes?” Surprised, I've never even been to that place and I already have shopping plans after I get home from work.

“Mother's urn is at the very end. If you are still confused, you can ask the employees there. They will help you find it. I have to go home soon. I took time off because dad asked you to come home,” He said so softly that it confused me. “Your closest home!” What he said was true, but I feel weird praying for people I don't know.

“Okay!” I agreed. It would be a sin if I refused.

Adam thanked me, he asked me out. I followed him, we walked to the parking area on the first floor of the building. “Mother's urn is on the 1st floor,” he opened the trunk of his car. Picked up a large duffel bag and took out a cloth bundle. “It's at the very end on the left, near the big window!” he then gave me incense, bouquet of flowers and cake. Adam also sent me where his mother's pots are kept. It was a beautiful urn, white with a carved cherry blossoms.

“I never go there, but i will try to do it!” My family does not do cremation and funeral methods are different from Adam's family.

“It doesn't matter, simply light the incense I gave you and place the flower with the others at the bottom. The language of prayer is universal, you can do it in multiple languages!”

“Ah...,” I understand. “Okay, I'll do!"

Some of our friends scrambled out of the elevator into the parking area. “I took 3 days off because I was asked to go home dad, See you on Monday, OK?” Adam started the engine. He left me with the packet of incense and cake he gave.

“Okay, see you later!” now I know, why in his car he was carrying so many things. Apparently he plans to go straight to his father's house after work.

I walked towards the elevator which was already empty. Staring at the parking lot that only tells of an old, worn out automatic motorbike, that's mine. My workplace is only 15 minutes away. My dad gave me the motorbike so I wouldn't walk. I could just sell it. Bought a better one and left the sound of the motor which is sometimes very noisy, but that was a gift from my father. No matter how good or bad I will keep it.

...----------------------------...

I've never been to the Columbarium. It is only 200 meters from the rented house. conditions are so quiet and momiji along the road to the main page. Rows of dim, classic-style garden lights accompanied them. Including a koi pond in the garden. This place is so calm, also cold. This calm I know for whom, those sleeping in there.

I climbed the stairs. Look at the instructions from the photo Adam gave. The entrance to this place is only guarded by a security guard. Afraid of getting lost, I chose to ask him by showing the picture Adam gave. He kindly wanted to take me to where Adam's mother's pot was kept.

“Thank you so much for driving me” I bowed to the security guard, thank you for taking me. he then said goodbye to return to vigil.

An aisle maybe 1 meter wide flanked by high shelves 3,5-4 meters. Flowers lay in almost every part of the aisle. Longest photo on several small urns 20-30 cm high. Trinkets such as whistles, medals, to simple crafts and even paper origami accompany each urn.

Maybe those were the things they liked in their lifetime. 10 minutes I searched, finally i found it. A white urn with cherry blossoms. On the side of the urn there is herbarium, starting with cherry blossoms, tsubasi, suisen, tsutsuji, to Ginkgo leaves. I can guess that Adam's mother was a plant lover in her life.

According to Adam's instructions, I immediately lit an incense stick and stuck it in the place provided. Put a bouquet of flowers under a shelf with dozens of other bouquets. Take my hands and start praying.

‘ I'm Kris, friend of your son who came as a representative. He is on his way to your husband's house. I beg you to accompany him so that he reaches his destination safely. I don't know how you pray, because we are different. I will wish you my way. I hope you are at peace in nature and happy. No more burdens about this world. Your son is a good person, don't worry about him. We as his friends will help and look after him. I'm glad to meet you today ’. I put out the incense before leaving. closed the glass door again and placed a black bean cake near the flower.