Ignatius Reilly, a mountainous man in a green hunting cap, waits outside the D. H. Holmes department store for his mother. He is cranky about the waiting.

A policeman, Officer Anthony Mancuso, asks Ignatius for identification, because he thinks Ignatius looks weird and hopes to be able to arrest him.

Ignatius protests loudly that he is waiting for his mother; the crowd takes his side against Mancuso.

Mrs. Reilly returns to Ignatius, and they both blame the disturbance on an old man in the crowd who calls all policemen communists. This is a strategic error on his part.

The policeman arrests the old man, and the Reillys walk rapidly away down Bourbon Street, before entering a seedy strip club/bar called the Night of Joy.

Mrs. Reilly orders drinks. The bartender tries to get them to leave by being rude to them, with no effect.

Ignatius tells a long story that his mother has heard before about a trip he took by bus to Baton Rouge to interview for a job in the Medieval Studies department at the university.

This was the only time Ignatius ever left New Orleans. The trip was traumatic—Ignatius did not get the job, and his favorite jacket was stolen—but now he gets to tell the story over and over again, so that's something.

Meanwhile, at the police station, the old man (named Claude Robichaux) that Mancuso arrested meets Burma Jones. Jones is a black man who was arrested because he was nearby when someone stole a bag of nuts in Woolworths.

The police sergeant bawls Mancuso out for arresting Robichaux for no reason and for trying to arrest Ignatius while his mother was standing right there.

The sergeant tells Mancuso to call Robichaux's daughter to come get him; this will humiliate him and pay him back for calling the police Communists.

Back in the Night of Joy, Ignatius and Mrs. Reilly chat with Darlene, a B-drinker who works there trying to get lonely guys to buy her watered down drinks. They also talk to a gay man (whose name we learn much later is Dorian Greene).

Ignatius tells his story about the bus again to Darlene, who is remarkably patient, and Mrs. Reilly sells her hat to Dorian, who is a dealer in used clothing.

Then she starts eating and sharing the cakes she bought earlier in the day. Darlene likes them, but the bartender remains cranky (especially because the increasingly drunk Mrs. Reilly drops and breaks her beer bottle).

Ignatius and Mrs. Reilly start to argue; Darlene takes Mrs. Reilly's side.

Lana Lee, the owner of the bar, shows up to yell at Darlene for encouraging the Reillys to stick around when anyone can see they're bad for business.

Out of the bar the Reillys go, with Lana Lee shouting good riddance after them.

Ignatius discovers that his mother has sold her hat, and becomes excessively upset about it because he loved that hat.

Finally after much bickering they arrive at the car. They get in and Mrs. Reilly, who is drunk, drives into another car and then into a building.

Masonry falls on them. Ignatius does not take this quietly.

Officer Mancuso, dressed in ballet tights at the insistence of his vengeful sergeant, finds them amidst the ruin.

We open with Ignatius in his room, scribbling away about how everything was better in the Middle Ages and now everything is going (more or less literally) to hell.

Ignatius worries about his pyloric valve, which has been snapping shut and causing him to bloat; he is concerned that he is entering a stage of bad luck.

His mother yells at him through the door, but he belches and then finds he's gotten an erection.

He masturbates thinking about his beloved—and now deceased—dog.

We leave Ignatius in his room, and head back over to the Night of Joy, where Burma Jones is applying for a job.

Jones explains to Lana Lee that he needs a job or the police will keep hounding him. Lana Lee says he can be a porter doing odd jobs, but offers to pay him almost nothing; Jones agrees because he doesn't have much choice.

In comes Darlene, who is late because her cockatoo was sick. Lana Lee doesn't think that's much of an excuse—but what can you do if your cockatoo is sick?

Lana also yells at Darlene for encouraging the Reillys the night before, when customers like that are no good for business.

Darlene shows Jones the broom and tells him she dreams of doing an exotic dance number.

And now we're back to poor Officer Mancuso, who is riding on a motorcycle wearing only a tee-shirt and Bermuda shorts along with a false beard as his costume for the day, and is on his way to visit the Reillys.

Mancuso explains that the man whose building they damaged is willing to let them pay him back in installments.

Even so, Mrs. Reilly doesn't know how she'll pay; Ignatius tells her she can't mortgage the house.

Mr. Mancuso encourages Mrs. Reilly to take up bowling. It won't pay for the damage, but it's something.

Ignatius is so unpleasant to Mancuso that he apologetically leaves.

Ignatius retreats into his room, but his mother ruthlessly invades, and tells him… he has to get a job.

The horror.

Ignatius bickers and insults Mancuso and his mother and the world in which they live, but he's stuck. He's going to have to get a job.

He worries, though, that no one will hire him because he is too good for this century.

Also, when he had a job at the Public Library, he was almost instantly fired.

He was also fired from his teaching job at the college when he threw students' papers out the window. (The students were demonstrating against him because he wouldn't grade the exams.)

Over to Jones again, who is on the bus feeling irritated because various white people are scared of him for no reason.

And we end the chapter with Ignatius at the movie theater, watching an unnamed film, which is probably the 1962 Doris Day feature Billy Rose's Jumbo.

Ignatius screams out loud over and over about how awful the movie is, irritating the patrons and management. Ignatius himself seems to be having a good time, though.

The job hunt goes poorly and Ignatius returns home having failed to get a job; as a bonus, though, he insulted a number of prospective employers.

Mrs. Reilly points out a job that he could apply for as a filing clerk at Levy's Pants.

Meanwhile, Officer Mancuso has, on a tip from Ignatius, decided to investigate the Night of Joy for employing B-girls.

He tells his sergeant about the tip, and the sergeant insults him and sends him off to wear funny dress.

But the sergeant decides to have other officers investigate the Night of Joy without giving Mancuso credit. Because life is unfair.

The scene shifts to Levy Pants, where Mr. Gonzalez, the office manager, is preparing for the day.

Levy Pants is a mess. It is rundown and the pay is bad, and employees quit as soon as they're hired, except for Miss Trixie, an elderly and senile assistant accountant.

Ignatius shows up, and his singular appearance impresses Gonzalez. Levy Pants's singular appearance impresses Ignatius. They were made for each other.

The job is accepted after some haggling. Everyone is happy… for the moment.

Over to the Night of Joy, where Lana Lee and Jones are squabbling about money; Jones says he's just waiting to report her to the police for some infraction.

A boy named George comes in, and Lana asks him how the orphans like what she sent them. It doesn't really seem like they're talking about orphans though (hint, hint.)

Ignatius is heading back home in a taxi, writing his observations about Levy Pants on some stationary.

He is pleased with his job, largely because he isn't actually expected to do much of anything.

He tells his mother that he got a job and she is very excited; he also lets her think that Miss Trixie is a young woman and that there is a chance that she and Ignatius will get together.

Mrs. Reilly goes out bowling with Officer Mancuso, much to Ignatius's horror.

In bitterness, Ignatius tears open a letter from his sort-of ex-girlfriend Myrna Minkoff.

She suggests he is paranoid and possibly homosexual; she also tells him he needs to have sex or he'll end up as an invalid. Some letter.

Also, she's in a play and wonders if he'd like to come to New York to play the landlord.

Ignatius determines that he will get even with her for her offensiveness.

Ignatius is working hard making important looking cardboard signs at Levy pants so that everyone will know that his workspace is important. He's not doing much in the way of filing, though.

He says he can't reach the lower drawers; Gonzalez brings him a tiny stool. Ignatius tries it, there is much kerfuffle, and everybody (Ignatius, Gonzalez, Miss Trixie) ends up in a heap on the floor.

Mr. Levy comes in and wonders, very reasonably, why all of his employees are in a heap on the floor.

The heap sorts itself, and Mr. Levy tells Gonzalez to write some letters in his name.

Ignatius decides that the letters are insufficiently forceful, and forges an incredibly abusive missive to Abelman's Dry Goods.

Meanwhile, over at the Night of Joy, Lana Lee tries to figure out why her bar is swarming with policemen all of a sudden.

Back at the Reilly home, Mrs. Reilly can't believe her good fortune in finally having Ignatius out of the house.

She remembers the night he was conceived—after she and Mr. Reilly saw the romantic film Red Dust—with a shudder.

There's a phone call from Santa Battaglia, Officer Mancuso's aunt, and Mrs. Reilly's friend.

Santa says an old man has been inquiring about Mrs. Reilly, and suggests he might have a romantic interest.

And now we head upscale, to the Levy home, where the Levys are busily and enthusiastically bickering with each other.

Mrs. Levy thinks Mr. Levy is a slacker who can't run his business; Mr. Levy thinks Mrs. Levy is a spoiled fool who should shut up and leave him alone. So they disagree.

Mrs. Levy wants to bring Miss Trixie to her house and make much of her, but Mr. Levy thinks they should let Miss Trixie retire and leave her alone. So they disagree.

Meanwhile, Ignatius is upset because the theater is showing an art movie (probably Ingmar Bergman's 1962 Winter Light).

Ignatius admires his former writing projects, but decides he has a new commercial endeavor: He's going to write about his life as a worker at Levy Pants.

In his journal, he says he's introduced an innovative new filing system.

He contemplates writing a nasty letter to Myrna, but decides he'll wait until he has organized social action at the Levy Pants factory.

He plays his lute, and Miss Annie, their neighbor, screams for him to stop as she always does.

Before he can get a bucket of water to toss in her window, Mrs. Reilly comes home from bowling with Mancuso and Santa.

Santa performs a vigorous and somewhat lewd dance in the kitchen, uniting Ignatius and Miss Annie across the street in disapproval.