was it fog that I saw or just my mind. there was a clear line between love and hate, truth and lie but I was gone. no way back to sanity.

why God why!

I always believed that you would be there to drag me out of darkness, sadness and insanity but I never got my way. I tried and cried but I stayed where I was like no way home.

cursed myself for the things I never did. called myself for sins I was blamed for.

tore myself apart just for the sack of trust.

God that is not what I desired.

I deserved better but I only got what people called misfortune or cursed child have. infinite darkness.

but how far I have to go how far?

from day to night, light to darkness, good to evil how far?

God was I that bad?

they choose to stay silent when I suffered. they tied my hands so hard that I only saw myself stuck where they tied me. they did everything to hold me back but I did it.

God I did it.

I moved the thrones with my bre hands. I crossed the burning bridge.

but God that wasn't fair.

as I moved they still called me the same as before "cursed". who knew I will made it out, who knew I will chase the light to overcome my darkness, just who knew?

God is it life. is it really a life or just mine.

tiredness is taking over me, my eyes closing with every passing minute. it is so hard to keep them open. something Yes something is dripping down my cheeks. it is hot and my skin is really sensitive to it. it is like that little drop can drill the hole in my skin that's how harsh that is to my skin. I want to move it but where are my hands.

yes God where my hands.

I don't remember whether they tied or cut them off. but can they? they said they loved me. so, how can they?

my hands and feet. where they are? I can't see them or maybe, maybe they took my eyes. where are my eyes. am I drugged or losing it cause I can't feel myself. am I loosing my mind or they really took everything from me.

they never looked harmful or said anything which broke my heart so, why now? or yes maybe maybe I am Long lost and there is no way back to where I belong.

but wait i can see something yes! it's a

"star"

it's faint. no no no it is running away from me. no wait. no no let me be with you no please wait. you can't. just can't with me. God! please.

God! just take me where I can be happy, where I can feel myself, where there is no one to call me cursed.

"yes I am still a cursed"

Jenny: lightly slapped on ana's head.

Ana: Aah what is that for?

Jenny: are you serious! what is that for? stupid. where is your little head. I know you love stories but still.

here I have been talking to you for half and hour and you? I guess I was just talking to myself.

Ana: 😶sorry. I was carried away. it was just that you know sometimes, our minds are hyperactive and we start to have good time thinking.

Jenny: fine. I know that. by the way what were you thinking? which just carried you "away" was it about Justin? poor soul! I can imagine him talking to walls in near future.

Ana: ooh please, Justin and I are just friends and you know I don't waste my precious time on boys.

Jenny: oo really? entire school know that Justin likes you but you take him as waste of time come on. don't be this heartless😏. I know somewhere in this little heart of your's you love him. right bestie?

Ana: I am going. you can stay in your fantasy. bye.

Jenny: sorry sorry wait...

Ana and Jenny went out of the main gate of the campus and booked the Uber.

In car jenny asked ana again about her blackouts yes she called them blackouts cause ana was deep thinker. so deep that sometimes she was in class but she doesn't know what she learned.

At first jenny thought that ana will become some sort of writer or poet etc but now she want to research on her friend cause how someone can be gone for hours without even realizing.

for her ana needs some medical attention but again she is her friend and know her since they were just kids. Jenny know that ana will never ever go for that thing. that's why jenny mostly avoid such topics and if she encounter one she turn it into joke. but in car she asked her anyway.

Jenny: so, what were you thinking? I am all ears just tell me if you got a little dirty secret.😉she winked.

driver saw her from the mirror.

Ana: jenny not again or I will through you out of the car.

Jenny: please please. I am your friend look how cute I am. made puppy eyes

Ana: ok fine don't be dramatic.

I don't know. it is just that something is inside of me telling me to be ok.

and I love listening to it. it is so pure yet cunning. it is like I can see something coming towards me but once I lift my hand to touch it, it is gone as if it was never there to begin with.

am I getting old or I should consult a doctor. I don't know.

This was not the first time when ana said some words with hidden meaning. she was always like this never clear about her fantasy. just like the child who fantasies and forget. at the same time...

they reached there destination. it was little restaurant with roofless dining area.walls were decorated with cute little fairy lights and sky was clearly over them. this restaurant was designed and created by a former navy soldier, who was retired and very old. once Ana asked the owner that why it doesn't have roof? he responded with the story. but never ending story cause he never told the end. so, she asked him again today.

Jacob: so, you wanna know?

Ana: off course I am kind of curious about the idea like there are stairs taking down then there are little chambers with huge doors but no roof. it looks like little mushroom houses of dwarfs without the mushroom head. absolute genius.

you know when I was kid this type of thing was kind of in my dreams but I never have I ever thought that I will be roaming around the cabin like this. how you come up with this?

Jacob: so here is a thing. when I was working in the navy, I saw something like at time no one believed me but I saw it with my beautiful eyes.

Ana: what you saw?

Jacob: we were working somewhere in Atlantic ocean, when we reached a little island. you know what we saw?

Ana: what?

Jacob: nothing.

Ana: huh. how is it even possible. please tell me what you saw?

Jacob: as I know people have never believed me and after knowing the story, you will take me as a stupid navy retired old brat that's why I have decided to not to tell anyone. understand?

Ana: but I promise I will not take you that way. unless, I find the story out of you know.

started laughing.

Jacob: I see, so you are that type of person?

Ana: what type? am I one of them? those who you saw on island? or maybe that was "never island" and Peter pan was roaming around. right.

started laughing again.

this time Jacob laughed too and said.

Jacob: well, I was saying you are curious type of person. who wants to know everything. right?

but I just can't tell you everything you know. there are some rules of living.

first when I experience this thing, I thought I was loosing my mind cause no one not a single soul believed me. but here comes the person who actually wants to know the story. but my story? seriously 😂.

Ana was confused why he was behaving like this but suddenly something started yes there was something ringing in her ears. it was like zuu zuu zuu zuu zuu zuu.

she was looking towards Jacob but they took her. she was gone.

her big beautiful eyes were stuck not blinking at all. her back bone was straight like she was performing some yoga pose. small beads of sweat started to appear on her forehead and her hands they were vibrating and relaxing like there was on and off button for that. and her feet toes were curved and feet were cold as if she sat in freezer.

when Jacob saw her he instantly called for jenny.

he was actually afraid by the entire scene.

maybe he has seen this type of thing before.