“Daddy, when will you be home?”

My eyes closed, and I pulled in a slow, deep breath. I was positive the cracking sound coming from the vicinity of my chest was my heart breaking in two. Yet again. I hated that I was on the road and away from my son as much as I was, but I was trying to build our future. I only needed to bull ride, and win, for another year or two. I had plenty of money saved up, but if I could get at least one more championship under my belt, I would be guaranteed endorsements, and my son would always be taken care of.

Just a few more years of this, and then I can stop.

“I’ll be home Monday, buddy. I know I’ve been gone a couple of weeks. I had some things I had to do for work.”

“That swucks.”

“Blayze Brock Shaw!” I heard my mother shout.

I forced myself not to laugh and could only imagine the look on my mother’s face as my five-year-old son cursed. The result of being around my older brother, Ty, most likely.

“Blayze, you know better than to say a bad word,” I scolded. “That’s no way for a gentleman to talk.”

“But Uncle Ty and Uncle Tanner say that word all the time, Daddy. Why can’t I say it? You said so yerself: I’m a big boy.”

Sighing, I raked my fingers through my damp hair. “You are a big boy; you’re right. But you’re still not allowed to say bad words. Now, you apologize to Grams before she washes your mouth out with soap.”

“Again? I’m outa here, Daddy!” my son exclaimed.

I heard the phone drop and the sounds of his retreating cowboy boots taking him far away from my mother. I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I heard Mom pick up the phone and call after Blayze in his mad dash to get away.

“Brock, that boy of yours is going to drive me to drinking.”

“What did he mean again, Mama?”

“He got himself a mouthful of Ivory soap last night when he told Rose Monroe to go suck it after the PTA meeting. Of course, he throws a w in the word suck and has to make it sound all cute.”

This time, I did laugh.

“Brock Shaw, it is not funny.”

“I’m sorry. I really am, Mama. You have to admit, though, it’s pretty funny, and I’m sure he’s heard you say it about Rose a time or two.”

When she replied, I heard the smile in her voice, and I ached to be home. Stella Shaw was the type of woman who would do anything for anyone, but piss her off, and my mama could be a bear.

“Well, I’ve never said it to her face. And, yes, it was a bit funny. Especially when that uptight woman tried calling me out in front of the entire PTA last night about you not being around to raise your own child.”

Ouch. That hurts.

“You still feuding with her?” I asked.

“No. Yes. Maybe. Hell, I don’t know. The woman talked bad about my son. That type of thing doesn’t go unpunished, friend or no friend. She crossed a line when she insulted you.”

“Mama, she’s been insulting me since Blayze was born. You about done punishing her and ready to move on?”

“Ha! Hardly.”

Rolling my eyes, I cleared my throat. “Well, I guess I’d better get me some sleep. I never seem to have a good draw in Tacoma.”

“Brock?”

My breath stalled in my throat. I hated this part of our daily conversation. It was when I heard the fear in my mother’s voice, even though she tried desperately not to show it. The uncertainty that me following my dreams as a professional bull rider might not be the wisest thing anymore. Especially because I was the only parent my son had. It was something I fought internally every single day.

“I know, Mama.”

“I know you know, but I’m gonna say it anyway. Be careful and do your thing, but remember who’s really in charge.”

I nodded, even though I knew she couldn’t see me, and replied, “Yes, ma’am. May I say good night to Blayze?”

My mother called out my son’s name. “Blayze, Daddy wants to say goodbye! No, I’m not gonna wash your mouth out. Not this time anyway!”

I chuckled and again felt the deep ache of missing home. It didn’t take long for Blayze to get back on the line.

“Daddy, I’m gonna rope me a calf tomorrow!”

The drop in my stomach nearly made me sick. “Blayze, I was gonna show you that when I came home on Monday.”

“Yeah, I know, but Uncle Ty said that he could show me, ’cause you’re busy.”

My hand balled into a fist, and I counted to ten. I was going to kick my brother’s ***. Just because he couldn’t be on the circuit with me, he had to make sure I was as miserable as him. The only problem was, he was using my son to do it.

I’m not too busy to show you how to rope, buddy. I’ll teach you when I get home. I promise.”

“Okay, Daddy, I’ll wait for you! I wove you, and kick that bull’s a-s-s tomorrow!”

Grinning, I answered, “I will, buddy. I love you too. Now, don’t give Grams a hard time, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir. I pwomise to be good.”

“That’s my big boy.”

“Bye, Daddy!”

“See ya later, buddy.”

The line went dead, and I stood there in the middle of my hotel room, staring down at my phone. The emptiness in my heart was hard to ignore. Glancing down to my watch, I counted down the hours until I was going to be able to climb onto the back of a bull and feel something again. It seemed to be the only time I was able to forget.

LINCOLN

“I still can’t believe you’re leaving me for freaking Montana!”

I stepped out of the car, lifted my arms, and stretched. We were only an hour or so away from Hamilton, Montana. I smiled when I looked all around us. Emerald-green pastures were home to cattle roaming freely as they grazed. Pine trees covered the foothills, which gave way to snowcapped mountains where white, puffy clouds danced along the top. My heart felt full for the first time in years.

Any lingering doubt over making this move was completely washed away when my eyes went to the river. I nearly lost my breath. The mountain range was mirrored against the crystal-clear water. Surely something this beautiful couldn’t be real. It looked like a picture. One deep breath and I could smell crisp, clean air.

This was home. A fresh start to a new life. It felt like a beautiful dream finally coming true.

“Kaylee, how can you look around and not see how beautiful it is here?”

She huffed. “Yeah, it’s beautiful. Mountains, rivers, blah, blah, blah. I don’t see why you need to move here. There are plenty of jobs in Georgia. Lots of old mansions you can design up. You made your mama cry, Lincoln. Cry! A well-raised southern woman does not make her mama cry.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know the reasons why I left Atlanta. It’s not about the money. It’s about doing this on my own. Building a life for me on my own terms.”

“Aw yes, those reasons. Leaving the big city for something simple? Leave the disgusting heat of Atlanta for fresh, crisp mountain air? Get out from under the control of Daddy? Start fresh? That crap?”

“Yes, those reasons.”

“I know why you’re really here. You want you some northern country ****.”

It took everything I had not to laugh. “Northern country ****?”

She nodded.

My best friend leaned against my Land Rover Discovery, giving me a matter-of-fact look. We stared each other down, neither willing to budge.

Kaylee sighed. “It’s not fair. I’m going to miss you.”

“Move here! You’re a book editor! You can work from anywhere you want, Kaylee. Think of how much fun it would be.”

Chewing on her lip, she looked to be giving it some serious thought. I knew it would be good for her. A chance for Kaylee to get her own fresh start. Lord knows, with everything she had been through over the last few years, she deserved happiness.

The moment I’d told her I was moving, I’d seen her eyes light up at the possibility of starting over somewhere herself.

“I don’t think I could leave Georgia. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’m a southern kind of girl. I’ve got the twang finally down. I just don’t think I could make it up here.”

I raised a brow. “Did you see the hot guys in those jeans and cowboy hats at the last gas stop?”

A full smile broke out over her face. Her blue eyes lit up, and she nodded. “Heck yes, I saw them. Did you see the one wink at me? Lawrd Almighty, I thought I was gonna pass out!”

Laughing, I shook my head and did a few jumping jacks while Kaylee stretched and moaned about how tight her muscles were.

“Whose idea was it to drive to Montana?” she asked, slipping back into the passenger seat.

“I believe it was yours. ‘It’ll be an adventure,’ you said. ‘The scenery will be amazing,’ you said.”

She rolled her eyes as her seat belt clicked. “Well, scenery is overrated. How many more miles until we get to this little town? And is it safe? I mean, you bought this house because the guy had too many bad memories there. What happened? Was someone murdered in it?”

I paused for a moment, letting her words sink in. Slight panic raced through my veins. I hadn’t asked any real questions about the house. I simply saw pictures of the old place, and the only thing that went through my mind was how I could make this my home.

Holy crap . . . what if someone had been murdered in the house?

S haking my head pushed away my moment of freak-out. I knew what it felt like to want to get away from something, or someone, controlling you.

“Yes, it’s safe, and I don’t really know the full reason. All I know is, the Shaw family owns a ton of land. They have a cattle ranch and raise horses as well. Their son lived in this house and doesn’t want it anymore. All his brother Ty told me was that there were memories the owner wanted to leave behind. So they broke the house and a small parcel of land around it off from their main ranch, and they’re selling it for him. He didn’t even want to be involved in the process.”

Kaylee’s arms folded over her chest. “When was this house built?”

I gave her a wide smile. “That’s the best part. It was built in 1887.”

“Oh Lord. Your kryptonite.”

“Kaylee, the fireplace alone in the house was the selling point for me.”

“The fireplace?” she asked, a look of disbelief on her face.

“Yes!” I replied with a chuckle. “It’s begging to be brought back to its original state. I can picture it now: sitting in front of a roaring fire, a book in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. The kitchen is pretty big for the age of the house. And don’t even get me started on the wood trim throughout the place. Or the floors.”

“I’m gonna have to stay just to help you fix the place up,” she stated, staring out the window.

That was my best friend’s way of saying she wanted to stay but needed an excuse. Even though she knew I would be fine doing it all on my own, and she barely knew the difference between a hammer and a screwdriver.

“You know, I’m being serious about you moving here, Kaylee. It might be the perfect place for you to start over as well. A fresh start in a new city. New state.”

She nodded. “Yeah. Maybe.”

My chest squeezed as I reached over and took her hand in mine.

Two years ago, Kaylee’s fiancé had killed himself. The hardest part for her was that he’d only left a note that said he was sorry. That was it. She fell into a pit of depression and refused to leave her apartment for months. The thought of seeing someplace John had loved to go caused her to nearly hyperventilate.

She had come such a long way, with help from her grief counselor. She’d finally started talking about the idea of dating again about six months ago.

“Look!” I cried out when I saw the sign that said HAMILTON: 30 MILES.

“Great, but your GPS says we’re still sixty miles from the house.”

We both laughed as I pushed a little harder on the gas pedal. Kaylee wasn’t the only one ready to get out of the car.

As we pulled down the dirt driveway, I saw the little white two-story house come into view. I gasped and felt my stomach flip. The front porch caught my attention first. Immediately my mind went to adding soft blue shutters to the windows, a swing on the left side of the porch, and wicker furniture with a pop of color on the right. Plants could line the wide steps on both sides and fill the air with the aroma of lavender and roses.

I lifted my eyes and took in the second story of the house. Two high windows looked out over the front yard. Even from here, I could tell it was the original glass from the ripples reflecting the sunlight. The house had been well maintained. Right down to the new silver metal roof.

I wanted to let out a girlish scream, I was so excited.

“Oh my gosh, is that it?” Kaylee exclaimed.

My heart thundered in my chest at the sight of the house. “Yes! Isn’t it precious?”

Bouncing in her seat like she was about to get a buttload of candy, Kaylee clapped her hands. “Lincoln, it’s perfect! It looks like they kept it up real nice too.”

I nodded. “Yep! I cannot wait to get inside.”

As my car got closer, Kaylee and I both leaned forward a little to look at the guy leaning against a post on the porch.

“Who is that?” Kaylee asked.

Shrugging, I replied, “I guess that’s Ty Shaw.”

Her head snapped over to look at me. “Ty? The son who owns it?”

“No, his name is Brock. Ty is the brother who’s been pretty much the go-between with Brock and the title company.”

She motioned with her hand to stop talking. “Shut up! Do you not see how hot that guy is? Like, look at him. His chest is huge!”

I giggled. This was the first guy since John who’d had Kaylee excited. The first guy she’d really looked twice at and the first guy who was apparently making her drool. When I saw her wipe her mouth, I couldn’t help but laugh.

Horny much, Kaylee?”

“My goodness. Save a horse and ride a Montana cowboy.”

I pulled up and parked to get a better look at Kaylee’s cowboy. Yep, he wore the part very well.

Cowboy boots? Check.

Black cowboy hat? Check.

Tight jeans that made his *** look like you could probably bounce a quarter off it? Check.

And he was currently making his way over to my car.

“Dibs,” Kaylee said, looking back at me.

“What? Did you really just call dibs on this guy?” I asked as I turned off the car.

“Yes, I really did.”

Before I’d had a chance to even open my door, Kaylee had jumped out of the car. I followed her lead, and Ty stopped in front of us while we both greeted him with a smile. Kaylee’s a little wide and a bit eager looking.

Ty grinned at us both before he focused on me. “Lincoln?”

I nodded. “That would be me.”

He reached for my hand. “It’s great to finally meet you.”

“It’s a pleasure.”

Turning to Kaylee, his smiled widened, and he didn’t hide the fact that his eyes swept over her. “You must be Kaylee.”

She turned back and looked at me. Her mouth dropped open. She mouthed I think I’m in love before placing her hand in his. “I am. Kaylee Holden. Pleasure meeting you.”

He tipped his hat. “Ty Shaw Junior.”

It wasn’t lost on me how Ty and Kaylee were staring at each other. It was like they were both trying to figure out what in the hell was going on. I hadn’t seen Kaylee look at another man like this in . . . well, I’d never seen her look at a guy like this. Not even John.

I quirked a brow and studied them for a moment. I finally had to clear my throat to get them to break the intense eye contact they had going on.

“Ty?” I asked, attempting to get him refocused.

He finally looked my way, and when his eyes met mine, my breath might have caught in my throat.

Okay, I totally got why Kaylee had been lost in this man’s eyes. They were bluer than the sky.

Wow.

“Like I said, it’s a pleasure finally getting to meet you, ma’am.”

“Ma’am?” I asked, my nose scrunching up. “Call me Lincoln, please. And you’ve met my best friend, Kaylee.”

He tipped his cowboy hat and smiled. “Will do, ma’am—I mean, Lincoln. Yes, we’ve met.”

The hungry look he threw Kaylee’s way made her turn pink in the cheeks.

I glanced back to the house. “Wow, it’s more beautiful in person.”

“I’m glad you like it. My mama’s great-granddaddy built this house.”

“The clapboard siding is just . . . beautiful,” Kaylee stated. “It’s been so well maintained.”

“Well, would you like to see the inside of your new place?” Ty asked, glancing between me and Kaylee.

“Very much so!” I stated.

Ty focused on Kaylee. “Are you, um, moving here from Georgia as well?”

Kaylee froze before looking my way. I arched a brow and waited for her answer.

“Well, no. I mean, I’m not really sure what my future plans are. Maybe.”

The hope in Ty’s eyes wasn’t hard to miss. It was fast, though. If I hadn’t been watching him, I’d have missed it.

Interesting.

He turned and started for the house—with a slight limp in his gait—as we followed.

“So, did you remodel this house?” Kaylee asked, practically skipping behind him.

He let out a hearty laugh. “Hell no. I’m a rancher, not a builder.”

“You don’t like working with your hands?” Kaylee asked.

I turned to look at Kaylee. What in the hell kind of question was that?

Ty shot a sexy grin over his shoulder as he replied, “I like working with my hands just fine. Do it every day on the ranch . . . and in other cases that warrant something needing a soft but firm touch. I’m pretty damn good at that, if I say so myself.”

Okay, that was a serious flirt directed toward her. Kaylee’s cheeks heated again, and she looked away.

Leaning closer to her, I said, “You asked for that one.”

She pushed me and shrugged. “I didn’t mean it that way!” she hissed.

Ty unlocked the door and then handed me the set of keys. “It’s all yours now, Lincoln. Mama wanted to know if you needed anything while you were getting settled in. If you need to be shown around town or anything like that.”

My goodness, are all Montana cowboys this sweet? With a polite smile, I replied, “No, thank you. I appreciate it, though.”

He nodded. Then he tipped his black cowboy hat again and grinned once more.

Is that a dimple?

Yep, that’s a dimple.

That was all Kaylee needed to see.

I stepped inside, followed by Kaylee. Ty walked around us once we were all inside the house.

“Back to your other question, Kaylee, I didn’t remodel the house, but my brother Brock did when he married Kaci. My parents gave them this house as a wedding gift.”

He smiled again, and this time his dimples were on full display. Kaylee moaned slightly from next to me, and I had to jab her in the side.

“Oh, that’s so sweet . . . but why don’t they live in the house anymore?”

Ty looked uncomfortable.

Lifting my hand to wave off my last question, I said, “Never mind. That’s none of my business, and I’m sorry I asked.”

A rush of embarrassment swept over my body. I of all people should have known better than to ask such personal questions. Here I was, attempting to start my own life over in a new town, and the first person I met, I asked a question that was truly not my business.

Ty let it go. “It’s been empty for a few years now. I think you’ll enjoy fixing the house up even more, with your career and all. My mother said you’re an interior designer.”

I nodded. “Yes, I am. I owned a pretty big design firm in Atlanta and needed a change. I sold it and decided it was time to explore something new. I’m hoping to find a simpler, less complicated life here in Hamilton.”

Ty’s eyes widened. “You’re not from a small town, are you, Lincoln?”

“No, born and raised in Atlanta.”

Glancing to Kaylee, Ty asked, “And you?”

“I was born in Georgia too.”

He nodded. “Your southern accent is heavier.”

Kaylee beamed with pride. “Well, I’m from a smaller town in Georgia originally, but I’ve been working on my southern twang for years. I think it’s finally set in.”

The poor man looked perplexed by my best friend. “Well, I’ll let you ladies go so you can explore the rest of the house. Do you need help with your luggage?”

“Yes!” Kaylee said at the same time I said, “No.”

Ty laughed. “If you pop the trunk, I’ll grab your stuff.”

I pulled out my keys and did just that. Kaylee and I stood there and watched as Ty stepped out of the screen door and walked down the gravel path.

“Is it just me, or does that man have an *** to die for?” she whispered.

I turned to look at her. It wasn’t like I wasn’t happy to see her showing interest in someone; I truly was. I believed it was time for her to jump back into the dating world. She needed to move on past the hurt. Back in Georgia, she’d never so much as looked twice at a guy, no matter how good looking he was. I wasn’t about to hold her back. “No, it’s not just you. He has a nice ***.”

“If that’s how they make the men up here in Montana, I just might be sticking around for a longer visit.”

Lacing my arm through hers, I grinned. “If there are more cowboys who look like that, you might never want to leave.”

“Right?” she said with a giggle.

Deep down in my heart, I prayed she would seriously think about staying. I wasn’t being selfish in my reasons why I wanted her here. Of course I wanted my best friend with me. I would miss her terribly when she went back to Georgia. But I honestly felt like a new start was exactly what Kaylee needed. A place that didn’t have a memory around nearly every corner she turned. A place where she could let go of the hurt and allow herself to move on. Somewhere to start over where no one told her what to do. A place to forget the past and look forward to a future.

I paused for a moment in my thoughts. Was that what I wanted for Kaylee . . . or for me?

I wanted that for both of us.

“How many brothers do you think he has? More than the one?” she asked as we watched Ty take our suitcases out like they weighed nothing.

Watching the muscles flex in Ty Shaw’s arms almost felt sinful. It had been a long time since I’d even allowed myself to look at a man like this. The last time I’d given my heart to someone, I’d ended up regretting it.

With a slight chuckle, I shook my head. Maybe it wasn’t time for only Kaylee to start dating but me as well. A nice Montana cowboy is exactly what I need. It had been over a year since I’d had a man’s hands on my body. I was beginning to remember what that pleasure felt like.

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out before I said, “One can only hope.”

BROCK

I checked my rigging bag once more before I got ready to head on out and catch an Uber to the arena with Dirk. I heard the knock on my hotel door and made my way over and answered it.

Dirk Littlewood, my best friend since first grade, stood in front of me, a wide smile on his face.

“I thought we were meeting in the lobby?” I said.

“We were. Guess what I found?”

“What did you find?”

“Kara Lane.”

“Okay, I’ll bite, who’s Kara Lane?” I asked, motioning for Dirk to come into my room.

“She is, according to her, your number one fan. She wants to meet you.”

With a sigh, I shook my head. I didn’t hook up with a lot of women when I was out on tour. I did occasionally, though, when I needed the release. Dirk, on the other hand, wasn’t as picky when it came to the buckle bunnies.

“Let me guess: you want something out of this.”

Dirk smirked before dropping his bag and then himself into a seat.

“Normally I would say yes, but this lady has a kid with her. Cute little boy with Down syndrome. He wants to be a bull rider. She recognized me down in the lobby and asked if I could let you know how much it would mean to her and her son to meet you.”

“This isn’t a trick to get a hookup later, is it?”

Dirk looked slightly hurt. “You honestly think I’d make up that kind of story just to get laid?”

Rubbing the back of my neck, I sighed. “No, dude, sorry.”

He nodded as I grabbed my boots and started to put them on. “You talk to Blayze?”

“Yeah. Ty was going to show him how to rope a calf before I got home.”

I could hear Dirk mutter something under his breath, and I couldn’t help but smile. “Dick move, right?” I asked.

“Why is he so bitter? I mean, does he not get how much it tears you up being out on the road without Blayze?”

Shrugging, I answered, “I don’t think he means to do it on purpose. He’s been through a lot himself.”

Dirk agreed with a nod. “Still, he shouldn’t be using your kid.”

I stood. “I agree, a hundred percent. You got any T-shirts or anything for this?”

“Lloyd has some merchandise.”

Lloyd Webster was our Wrangler sponsor and could always be found carrying a bag of Wrangler merchandise.

As we headed to the elevator, two women made their way toward us. I cringed inwardly while Dirk let a smile grow across his face.

“Morning, ladies,” he purred with an accent that screamed he was country more than the boots and cowboy hat he wore.

The blonde waved her fingers at both of us and winked. “Enjoy your day, gentlemen.”

When they walked by, Dirk let his gaze follow them.

He smiled wider, and I shook my head as we walked into the elevator. “I may get lucky tonight after all. You sure you don’t want to go out later?”

“I’m positive. I’m sure I’ll be exhausted after today and ready to hit the sack when the day is over.”

“What if you ride good?”

I shrugged. “If I qualify, then I’ll need to ride tomorrow, and I sure as shit don’t want to have a hangover.”

He laughed. “When in the hell was the last time you had a hangover, Brock?”

The elevator doors opened to the main lobby, and Dirk and I headed over to Lloyd. I saw a woman standing there with a boy who looked to be about ten. The moment he saw me, his eyes lit up. His mother followed his gaze and wore a similar look on her face. Moments like these never got old, especially when they involved little kids.

“I promised you I would find and deliver him,” Dirk said as he reached the woman first. “Kara, I’d like for you to meet the current number one bull rider as of today.”

Shooting Dirk a smirk, I turned to the woman and shook her hand. “It’s a pleasure meeting you, ma’am.”

She blushed, then looked down to her son. “Billy, this here is the bull rider you’re always cheering on.”

The young boy looked up at me and gave me a full-on smile. Bending down, I got eye level with him as Lloyd handed me a baseball cap and a T-shirt. I signed them both as I spoke to Billy.

“You want to be a bull rider someday, Billy?”

“Yes, sir. I’ll be as good as you!”

“I bet you will be. Have you ever been on a bull?” I asked, handing him the baseball cap and laughing when he quickly put it on.

“Yes, sir. I have.”

“I tell you what, Billy; I’m going to make sure you and your mom have VIP passes today. You come on back and wish me luck, okay?”

His eyes lit up like Christmas morning, and before I knew it, his arms were wrapped around my neck. “Thank you! Thank you!”

Glancing up, I smiled at Kara. She mouthed the words Thank you. After Billy let me go, I handed him the shirt and stood back up. I signed another hat for Kara and gave it to her.

“You don’t know how much this means to me. Billy’s father passed away to cancer a few months back, and this is the first time I’ve seen him smile. He always watched you when you rode. You were his favorite, hence the reason you’re Billy’s favorite.”

I’m so sorry for your loss,” I said.

Dirk was now talking to the little boy and signing the back of his shirt.

“Thank you. And thank you for coming down to meet us—I know you’re on your way to the arena for today’s event. You’ll never know how much it means to both of us.”

Smiling, I reached for her hand and shook it again. “You and Billy enjoy today. Lloyd here will get you taken care of.”

With a slap on my back, Lloyd moved in and began making plans with Kara. I leaned down and shook Billy’s hand.

“I’ll see you later, buddy.”

“Bye, Brock!” he shouted, then took off running toward an older woman. I was guessing she was his grandmother. Dirk nudged me with his arm, and we headed toward the exit of the hotel to make our way to the arena. It was bull-riding time.

“Hornet’s Nest. Just my luck,” I grumbled as I stared at the bull.

I’d drawn the number two bull. He’d been ridden only once in twenty outs, and that was by Cord Hansen. The bastard hadn’t stopped talking about it for weeks after he’d gotten the eight seconds required to get a score.

“You’ve got this, Brock,” Dirk said from next to me.

Turning his way, I smiled. Dirk was more than just my best friend; he was like a brother to me. The fact that we got to be on tour together, both doing something we loved, had probably saved my sanity. There were plenty of moments I wanted to give in to the guilt that felt like it ate away at me every second of every day. Dirk knew; he saw it every single time he looked into my eyes or hauled my *** back to our hotel when I’d been drunk out of my mind.

Would things have been different if Kaci had chosen Dirk and not me? I had no damn idea. All I knew was, Dirk had kept me going when all I’d wanted to do was give up and walk away. He pushed me because he knew I needed it. I had never told him before, and probably never would, but he saved my life five years ago when I’d started drinking too much.

“Shaw, heard you got your old buddy.”

I grunted as Cord walked up to me. I wanted to knock the smirk right off his face. The last time I’d been on Hornet’s Nest, he had thrown me after two seconds, and I’d seen Cord laughing his *** off as I got up. Asshole. He was a bitter jerk and pissed because I was currently in the number one spot, and he was trailing further behind in the number two.

“Hey, Cord. How’s it going?” I asked, not about to engage in his little game.

He frowned, disappointment laced on his face. Cord was like a female. Constantly trying to drum up some sort of drama.

“Good luck today, buddy,” Dirk said as he slapped the shit out of Cord’s back before we walked away. “Douche,” Dirk whispered, glancing back to Cord.

Even after giving Dirk every reason to hate me so many years ago, he still had my back, and I knew he always would.

Growing up, Kaci had been the one girl every guy in town wanted. But Dirk and I’d had her. Not in a sexual way. She was our best friend. The girl who went fishing with us. Hunting in the early hours of the morning. She even helped my granddaddy build the barn on my parents’ ranch for the goats she’d talked Daddy into getting.

Kaci was different from any other girl I’d ever known. She wasn’t afraid of anything. Gutting a deer was second nature to her. She could knock back Jack Daniel’s with me and Dirk like nobody’s business. She was also happy; sometimes it seemed like a forced happy, but she had a smile on her face most of the time.

Kaci could also make Dirk and me fight over the littlest things.

Everything had changed the day I asked Kaci to prom. Dirk had been pissed at me for going against our self-imposed rule. Kaci was off limits. I ignored the rule, and it had opened up a rift between me and my best friend. Neither of us knew how to deal with it besides going after each other constantly.

When it finally came to blows between me and Dirk, fighting over her, we’d told her she needed to make a choice. She knew she had to pick one of us. She picked me.

I had won and had taken Kaci from my best friend, even though I knew he loved her more than I ever could. But I was a selfish bastard and couldn’t walk away from her. I was happy she’d picked me over Dirk and didn’t regret for one minute marrying her. Even though everyone told us we were too young to get married.

I wasn’t like I didn’t love Kaci. I did. And I knew she loved me; why else would she have picked me? But I also knew how much Dirk loved her. He had a terrible way of showing her, though, and in the end, it cost him. I knew how to be romantic, while Dirk fumbled with his words. At least he had back then. Kaci only saw that side of me. The side that fantasized right along with her about the life we would have.

Something had always been missing between me and Kaci, though. It didn’t take us long after we got married to realize it. An emptiness hung between us, and neither of us could figure out what was causing it. We’d thought we could make it better by having a baby. It hadn’t helped that I ignored one of the main reasons we were having troubles. Bull riding. It wasn’t something I was willing to give up for her. At the time, I hadn’t realized how selfish that made me. Bull riding was my life, and in my mind, Kaci had known it was my life when we got married.

But Dirk was ready to give up professional bull riding for her, and I knew now he probably would have made her happier than I ever could.

A part of me would always regret that I didn’t love her enough to put her first, like Dirk would have. The guilt of that ate at me constantly. Dirk never showed any bitterness toward me or Kaci, and I knew it was because he’d respected her decision. He was the true meaning of loyalty and friendship.

I glanced over to him. He seemed lost in thought, just like I was. I’d bet a million dollars he was thinking about her too.

I’d hurt Dirk not only once, but twice. Our friendship had been tested by one simple decision I’d made five years ago. A decision that had been haunting my dreams nightly since. Had our small town whispering behind my back, even to this day.

“You boys ready to kick some *** tonight?” Lloyd Webster asked, stopping directly in front of us.

I forced a smile for one of my biggest sponsors. If I rode well tonight, I’d make him one very happy man. It would show up in my wallet as well. An endorsement with Wrangler was nothing to take lightly. As long as I stayed number one on the tour, I was golden.

“Yes, sir,” I answered, pushing my hand out to shake his.

“That’s what I want to hear. Let’s keep that number one ranking, son.”

Lloyd focused on Dirk. “I have a feeling your run of bad luck ends tonight in Tacoma, Dirk.”

“Let’s hope so.”

“You drew a good one,” Lloyd added, giving Dirk a wink.

A smile grew over Dirk’s face. He’d drawn Lucky Charm. He hadn’t been ridden in his last ten outs.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I reached in and answered without even looking. “Hello?”

“So, you never did tell me who day two’s draw was.”

Ty. I should have known.

My brother used to go on tour with me a few years back until an accident landed him in the hospital for an extended amount of time. When they told him he’d never be able to ride a bull again, you might as well have told him he’d died that day. His entire world came to an abrupt stop.

The doctors at first hadn’t thought Ty would even walk again. He proved them wrong. He walked after just one month in physical therapy. That one victory came at a cost, though. Ty hit the bottle for months and then suffered with an addiction to pain pills that few knew about.

It gutted me when I’d realized I hadn’t seen the signs. That none of us had seen the signs. When our parents found out, they got him the help he needed, but it was a long road for all of us. After a tenuous few months, Ty had cleaned up, and he worked the family cattle ranch now. I was so damn proud of my brother. I knew it had to be hard for him to fight that addiction, and I also knew it was always something he would struggle with in the back of his mind. No matter what, I’d be there for him.

“Well?”

Ty pulled me back to the present.

“I got Hornet’s Nest.”

The bastard laughed. “Oh, hell. Don’t let him throw you after the first two seconds.”

I ignored his jab at me, since I was already frustrated with him for telling Blayze he’d teach him to rope. “That’s the plan,” I said. “You tell Blayze you’d teach him to rope?” I knew he could hear the frustration in my voice.

“I might have mentioned it.”

“Why would you do that, Ty? I’m going to teach him when I come home."

"Well, he wanted to learn, so I offered. Besides, you’ve been gone for a few weeks.”

Anger raced through my veins at the thought of Ty showing Blayze too something he damn well knew I’d wanted to do. The fact that he was throwing my career in my face added to how pissed off I was. “I don’t see where that’s any of your damn business, Ty.”

“Not my business? The hell it isn’t. Mom and Dad are raising your son half the damn time. Hell, I’m raising your son right along with them. I’m the one taking him to Little League on the weekends. Picking him up for Mama when she’s got something she needs to take care of. And what are you doing? Riding a bull week after week. You seem to be more in love with the next eight seconds than you are with the next eight years of your son’s life.”

A flash of heat hit me hard. It was both anger and guilt mixing together to cause a rage inside of me. A rage I had worked hard at keeping buried deep within. Did he honestly think I didn’t want to be home with my son? That I didn’t lie in bed every night and wish it was me tucking him into his bed? That it was me coaching his Little League team?

“Seems to me that was your life a few years ago, and you had no problem with it then.”

“I didn’t have a kid, Brock,” he bit back.

I pushed my fingers through my brown hair, knowing he was right—and hating it as well.

“Listen, I get that you got married young. You guys had Blayze in some attempt to make your marriage work. Why you thought a kid would do it, I have no clue.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Ty.”

He laughed. “Yeah, whatever. I get it, Brock. You’re twenty-seven. You’re having a good time. I’m sure you’re sleeping with a different bunny each night.”

“I’m not,” I stated.

Silence filled the line. Then, “Fine. Every other night. But you have a kid back home who needs his father.”

I swallowed hard. “Then I’ll hire a nanny and bring him with me.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You really want him on the road with you?”

“What else do you want me to do, Ty? I fly home almost every week when I can. So I’ve been gone an extra week here and there. That is my job. You know that. Stop making me feel guilty for doing something you once loved to do as well. I can’t help the way things turned out.”

“Screw you, Brock.”

The line went silent again.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said.

Ty sighed. “Dude, I’m sorry too. You’re doing a good job with Blayze, and I . . . hell, I don’t know.”

It was time for a subject change before we ended the call.

“So, tell me what’s new back at home.”

“Damn, dude. That interior designer who bought your place finally showed up, and she was not what I had been expecting.”

My interest was piqued. “Really? What’s she like?”

“Hot as hell. A body to die for. Curves like no one’s business. Her friend Kaylee is even hotter. I nearly fell over when the two of them got out of the car. You said it was some interior designer from Atlanta. You didn’t say she was a twenty-seven-year-old knockout who would make the cock of any guy within fifty yards stand at attention. I mean, the couple of times I talked to her on the phone, she sounded young, but I wasn’t expecting someone so pretty.”

I laughed. “I didn’t know anything other than she was an interior designer and would be working for Karen Johnson. I didn’t want to know. What does she look like?”

“Oh hell, dude, she’s just your type. Brown hair, sort of light in color, or she puts that crap in it that makes it look streaked with lighter-colored hair.”

“Highlights?” I asked.

“I’m not even going to comment or ask how in the hell you know that’s what it’s called. Anyway, brown hair and green eyes that I swear look like the grass on a spring morning. Her friend Kaylee is blonde, with blue eyes that I’m pretty sure were screaming Take me to bed, Ty.”

I laughed. My brother would never change.

“Neither of them is too skinny. You know, like half the women in town who eat nothing but carrots and celery, so they’re sticks. Let’s just say I’d be able to grab a nice handful of *** while either one rode me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Nice, Ty. Mama would slap the shit out of you if she heard you talking about a woman that way.”

“Yeah, just like she’d slap the shit out of you if she knew you were shoving your **** down the throat of some girl you didn’t bother asking what her name was.”

Sex was just a tool I used to let off steam, and not even something I did often. Finding someone to settle down with was not on my radar. I didn’t deserve to find happiness, not after what I did to Kaci. I didn’t want to fall in love. The fear of hurting someone again sat in the back of my head and was a constant reminder that I would probably do it again unknowingly.

“Listen, I’ve got to go. Have fun with the new chick in town.”

He laughed. “I think I’m more interested in the friend. Besides, she’s not staying, so it would be perfect. I could screw her and never see her again, except for the occasional time she came to visit Lincoln. Then we could have no-strings-attached sex. Yeah, I’m liking this little plan of mine.”

What in the hell was wrong with us? It wasn’t just me who was a mess; it was all three of us brothers. Not one of us could commit to a woman . . . all for different reasons.

“Yeah, well, good luck with that.”

“No, seriously, though. Lincoln is a nice person, and so is her friend Kaylee. I think you’ll like them both.”

I was curious about the woman who had bought my house. “Hey, speaking of Lincoln, what did she say about the house?”

I hadn’t stepped foot in that house in four years and had no desire to ever again. When I’d told my folks I was selling it, I’d thought for sure they’d want it back. They hadn’t, though. They’d told me it was a wedding gift and to do what I wanted with it, so selling it seemed like the best thing.

“She loved it. I’m pretty sure she’s going to change some things, though. With her being into decorating and all.”

I frowned. “Kaci decorated it.”

There was silence for a few moments before Ty cleared his throat. “Well, to be fair, she doesn’t know the backstory, and you can’t honestly expect her to never change anything.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You don’t regret selling it, do you?”

“Nah, I was never going to live there again. Listen, I’ve got to run. Tell Mama and Dad I said hey and kiss Blayze for me. TV on so he can watch me ride?”

“Yeah, you know it’s on. Will do, baby brother. Stay safe.”

After we said our goodbyes, I hit end and stared at my phone. That familiar ache was starting to take hold of my chest. Only this time, I didn’t know where that ache stemmed from . . . Ty riding my *** about Blayze, or from the memories assaulting me over the sale of my and Kaci’s home. Either way, I didn’t like it one bit.