...FOREWORD...

...This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead, or actual events are purely coincidental....

...Warnings:...

...-This is categorized as a boy's love story which means that it's romance between both male....

...-This story may include scenes and words that others may find uncomfortable....

...-This story also contains matured contents that are not advisable or suitable for young audiences....

...-Mention of death, abuse, drugs, self-harm, and rape on later chapters....

...Plagiarism is a crime punishable by the law!...

...Date Published:...

...December 26, 2022...

...Date Finished:...

Chapter 1 — Past

Tired. One word to describe what I'm feeling right now. There's also this thing mixed into it although I can't describe it that much. Was it pain? Longing? Anger perhaps. I can't wrap my head around this.

I walked inside the café as usual, ordering the same thing for the one hundred and ninety-five times. This café was different, it makes me remember him. The one I love, no, the one I loved. The person I can't seem to let go even after 4 years.

"Hi sir, here's your americano and your double vanilla lava cake. Do you need anything else sir?" I heard the waitress say this but I only shook my head in response "Ok sir, enjoy your drink and have a nice day!"

Have a nice day….

Yeah, right.

I gulped down the americano not caring if it's boiling hot. I've grown accustomed to everything after my experiences. Nothing can bother me that much anymore.

Well, there's someone who can intercede with my collected thoughts.

I was pulled back to reality when a cup of coffee was placed on my table with a tiny clank. I frowned at the coffee then at the person who placed it there.

"I'm sorry? I don't think I ordered that.. thing.." I said, sounding confused

"It's from that kind sir over there" the waitress said, pointing at the guy at the corner with their back on mine

I stopped on my tracks and stared at the 'sir' the waitress was referring to.

The guy I know very well.. The guy I can't seem to forget. A decade worth of memories came flooding in my mind and before I knew it, tears were already brimming on the corner of my eye.

"Sir? Sir? Are you ok?" I heard the waitress said

"Uhh.. Yeah, yeah.. I'm alright.. Uhh, you- ehm, can you drink this? I have an important business to attend to" I gently said while pointing at the cup of coffee on my table "Yeah.. I'll leave now.."

I stole one last glance at the person I once loved and finally stood up and left the café.

The tears I've been trying to hold back came rushing down once I entered my car. There I sat quietly letting every emotion out of my system.

I thought that I have forgotten him after 4 years of not seeing him. I just needed to finish that last whole year and I can probably get back the old self I once had but seeing him now, even if it's just his back, those feelings came rushing back to me.

"God.. I still fucking love him.."

—

It took Allerick a full hour to finally calm himself, partly. All this self mirroring has drained his usually bland energy. He doesn't feel like doing anything today, all that's in his mind is him.

Just as he was about to doze off in his car, he received a call from his company stopping every track of his thoughts.

"Hello sir, I've called to inform you that your father was looking for you. He claimed that you were supposed to be with someone named.. Thess? Are you following sir?" the voice from the other line asked making Allerick sigh

"Ah.. The daughter of J&Y? I seem to have forgotten to put that on my schedule. Can you please tell her to resched or maybe remove it completely from her system?"

He heard a soft laugh from the other line before receiving a 'No problem, sir' from the person.

"Please tell her nicely though, can't afford to break whatever bond the company has"

"Copy sir and have a nice day!"

Have a nice day again. That's the second time he heard that phrase and it's now getting on his nerves. Good thing the person on the other line already cut off the call because he knows that if he didn't he'll surely throw a fit.

"At Least he didn't come and talk to me?" he mumbled before manoeuvring his car to head back to his company also remembering the last few years with the person he was missing

—

"I'm surprised that you've finally found your way back here. I thought you weren't planning to make an appearance to your father for a second"

His whole body froze with the sound of his father's voice. He thought that he wouldn't have stayed here especially since his son wasn't at the building for about an hour now. He wouldn't have waited if it's not important.

"I was actually enjoying a cup of coffee on my way here and decided to drive around town for the meantime. I didn't know that you were visiting, if I did, I would have came sooner" Allerick's face remained stoic just how it used to be an hour before

"Well, I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with us later." it wasn't a question, it's more of a statement that doesn't accept no as an answer.

"By us.. Did you mean…?"

"Yes, your mother"

No. She will never be my mother.

Even with that thought, he never spoke back to his father and just nodded as a response.

"That's great! I'll leave you be. Remember to come. 8 pm sharp"

Allerick felt his knees buckle before finally giving out. He still can't bear his father's presence and he's sure that he will never be used to it.

Fighting back was never an option especially with his father that only likes masculinity. The only thing Allerick could do was pretend to be tough and then melt once his nightmare leaves.

To be continued...

Chapter 2 — Annoyed

Checking paperworks. Asking for coffee. Sipping that coffee. Pen spinning. Checking paperworks again. That has become the daily habit of Allerick in his office. He can't wait to go home and sleep on his bed.

Thinking of his bed, he checked the time and saw that only 1 minute was left until the clock finally hit 6 o'clock. 1 more minute until he can finally leave the place he calls hell.

His thoughts were pacing from his father to Lyle, his ex lover, and it's nowhere near comfort. Both of them were bringing him nothing but pain.

He heard his alarm go off, that's when he rummaged through his stuff, looking for his wallet and car key. Once he found what he was looking for, he ushered himself out of his office and into his car. You can say that he was excited to go back home and lay on his bed for the way he's acting.

Before he could even touch the hood of his car, his assistant— Cole, stepped in.

"Sir, where are you going? Are you in a rush?" Cole asked, frowning at him while his hands were filled with papers that should be delivered inside Allerick's office

He saw his employer rush out the company by the back door connected to his personal parking lot and the first thing he did was to follow suit.

"I much appreciate it that you became my assistant, Cole but I must tell you that there are things that are not supposed to be shared with anyone rather than yourself" Allerick grimaced, rubbing the bridge of his nose

"But sir, someone claims to be someone you know. He's waiting for you at the lobby" the latter defended

"If it's the J&Y's then please escort them out"

"I've never seen him my whole year working here sir so I believe he's not from J&Y"

"Then.. Is it Khaelus? Khaelles' husband? Or maybe Mr. Sirvan from the neighbouring company?" he bombarded his assistant questions, waiting for him to nod at the name in acknowledgement but nothing of that sort happened

"I don't think so, sir. As I've said, I've never seen him before" his assistant repeated making the latter frown

"Then who is it?"

"Again, sir since you seem like you didn't get it. I've never EVER seen that person my whole life and I really think that it would be better if you come with me to meet him. Perhaps it's someone you know and close with before just like what he said"

"And if he's not? How are you so sure that he isn't here to kill me?" Allerick placed a doubt but the assistant never gave it much thought

"He doesn't look like a murderer, sir. Stop overthinking or maybe stop being delusional. You're worth nothing to be fucking honest"

Allerick was caught off guard by his assistant's cussing. He was also a little annoyed.

The assistant saw how the forehead of his employer creased so he sucked his breath and formed a thin line with his lips. He knew he went too far with what he said.

Mental note: Never irritate your employer, he might cut off your salary or better yet, fire you. Cole thought.

"You're a big asset of my company, Cole, but I would very much like it if you just keep your mouth shut at this time"

"Sorry, sir" the assistant lowered his head, showing submission

"It's alright. I'll let this slide this time. Follow me, let's meet the person you're talking about" Allerick said while waving his hand, gesturing the man to follow

They made their way to the lobby and looked for the person the assistant was referring to.

There were few to nothing at all people in the lobby, probably because the others were told to work overtime if they can or maybe they already headed home like what Allerick planned to do once the clock strikes 6.

"Where is the person, Cole?" Allerick asked when he finally gave up on looking for his 'visitor'

Most of the people in the lobby are someone he recognizes because he knows every employee in his own building —more than his family— and there were no outsiders inside. Well, it will have one if the person who was looking for him is still waiting for him.

"He was waiting for you on the couch over there but I guess he got bored and left?" the assistant suggested

"Let's wait for 5 minutes and if the person who's looking for me didn't come back then you let me be and do whatever shit you're going to do" Allerick said before making his way to the couch which the assistant pointed at earlier

While waiting, his insides were feeling a bit weird. He can feel it twisting and spinning, he feels nervous for some reason. He frowned at the feeling.

What the heck is the deal with me? He mentally asked himself but disregarded it after, he just waited there thinking that it would all be better once he finally got back home and lay on his bed just like what he planned minutes before Cole stopped him.

To be continued...

Chapter 3 — Long time no see?

"Ok, since the person we're waiting for is obviously not coming back, I'm going to take my leave. Have fun finishing your documents" Allerick said before standing up, slightly straightening his creased suit

"Welp, can't say anything about that. Goodbye sir!" Cole said, rather upbeat than usual

Weird. Allerick thought.

Just when he was about to take his leave, for real, a person wearing a light blue cardigan popped out in his peripheral vision.

"Oh, sir, that's him" Cole said, pointing at the person who looks like he had a shit ton problem in hand with his hair fixed messily-perfect on his head and a little frown on his face

Allerick felt like his world had stopped at the sight of the person. His eyes wandered to the man's body, examining every single crook and hooks he could find.

His body was a little plumper than the last time he saw him face to face, his face looks more mature unlike the baby face he got used to. His lips… Damn, his lips.

Still looks delectable.

Allerick shook his head in disapproval. He shouldn't find him attractive in any way.

Lyle's face looked up and the shine in his eyes was brighter than before. He looks happy, perhaps happy to see me? No. That can't be.

"Rea!!"

Just the sound of his voice made his heart swell, he knew he missed it when Lyle called him by that.

Lyle came rushing forward to Allerick with his arms wide open as if he's trying to hug the man, and he did. He hugged him so tight like it's almost the end of the world, with Allerick it is. Just a few more seconds and he'll literally cry. He can already feel the heating in the corner of his eyes.

"Let go." Allerick said icily, making Lyle pull back and smile nervously.

"Ah.. Sorry about that. I just got a little excited"

"Lyle Beckett." the CEO grimaced

"Walter"

"What?"

"It's Walter. Lyle Walter'' Lyle grinned and offered his hand hoping for a handshake from the CEO

A tug of pain made its way to Allerick's heart. He's married?

Allerick let out a menacing glare that could probably put an end to your life if looks could kill. He didn't say anything else to any of them and just left without a word while the two— Cole and Lyle, were left confused.

"Woah" Cole said before glancing at Lyle. With Cole's great observation he saw the glint of pain and guilt in Lyle's eyes which made him more confused. Now he was wondering who the person is to his employer "How do you know my boss?" Cole couldn't help but ask

Lyle looked at him and gave him a soft smile "We were something then.. Not" he briefly said making the assistant more confounded "I should go, he probably doesn't even want to see me in this lifetime"

"Uhhh.. Sure, I guess. Stay safe… sir?"

Lyle couldn't understand why he still felt the pain after years of not seeing or hearing from him. But then again, he still harbours those feelings he used to feel before. Maybe, just maybe, he missed the memories and how Allerick made him feel. To Lyle, Allerick was a safe place, warm weather, a comfortable abode.. A HOME. Now that he lost him, he feels empty, something was missing in his life. It's like a hole was drilled into his heart and he can't ever block it with anything.

He knew he was the one in the wrong. He was the one who left, he is the one who caused him pain, he's the one who made him feel shitty. He can't blame Allerick for hating him. It was all his fault after all.

In their relationship, Allerick was always the one who cared for him. He only showed all the good things that's why he feels guilty for leaving. It still haunted him.

You can't really say Lyle had an easy life after leaving him. He also suffered, probably more than Allerick.

Lyle was zoned out as he walked out the company that he didn't see the person walking towards him. Yep, you guessed it right, he bumped into a person making them fall straight to the floor.

Lyle immediately sat up and clasped his head, feeling the pressure of hitting the floor but he endured it. "I'm so sorry!"

"Uhh it's alrig— Lyle?"

When Lyle looked at the person he recognized him immediately. It was Khaelles, Allerick's best friend.

"Oohhh, I see you came back. I was wondering where you went after, how many years has it been?"

3 years.. Lyle didn't answer him that though, instead, he gave a smile before standing up and offering his hand to help him which he accepted.

"I've heard a lot about you from Al, all good things no worries.. Uh well, except the reason why you left..? I don't think that's a good thing"

Ahh, everyone heard about it. Lyle thought

"So that's why I couldn't find Al at all. He was ignoring you" he said

Lyle sighed.

If this is the consequence of breaking my promise then I'll gladly take it. He thought.

To be continued...