Baby Sitting The Celebrity
Episode 1
Hannah
Hello Hannah’s Baby sitting service, how can I help you today?
Mrs Miles
I need a really good baby sitter and you came recommended by a friend to me.
Hannah
Thank you for the compliment, I am glad that someone thought highly enough to recommend me. What sort of service are you looking for from me.
Mrs Miles
I need to hire a live in baby sitter for 6 months to look after my son.
Hannah
I don’t usually do live in sitting
Mrs Miles
Oh, but I think you will really be suited to this position I will make sure you are compensated well, especially as he is a difficult child. I had heard you are the best at dealing with children who are difficult.
Hannah
Yes I can deal with difficult children, although it tends to be because they don’t get enough attention, so they misbehave in order to attract attention.
Mrs Miles
I can assure you that this is not the case. He is stubborn and hedonistic I think a nice sitter like you will calm him down. You will have to live in a country house for six months. You will not be allowed a mobile phone or any recording device to protect the Childs identity. I am told that you are excellent at keeping quiet. Mr Deer recommended you for this and other reasons, he knows my son quite well and the children often play together. He said Sydney adores you.
Hannah
Ah so is your son Brent then?
Mrs Miles
No I am afraid my son has not been round while you where baby sitting.
Hannah
Okay, if Mr Deer recommended you to me then I am Happy to do a two week trial with you and your son to see how we fit together and if we will get along. Does your son have any special interests?
Mrs Miles
A two week trial sounds fair, No he has no special interests. Wait he likes cars and singing.
Hannah
Brilliant shall we set up a time to meet.
Mrs Miles
Yes may I email you the details. Also about your pay……..
So that was how I ended up in front of a very large Georgian mansion, in the middle of nowhere. There are even security guards surrounding the place, It’s not a home it’s a prison.
Even as I approach the door I can feel someone watching me, it’s creepy and unnerving.
Mrs Miles
Hello Hannah, nice to meet you in person. Come on in and let me show you where you will be staying.
Hannah
Oh thank you, nice to meet you too.
Okay so nothing that scary, she seams nice enough. But perhaps she had her child later in life, she seams too old to have a toddler, or maybe she has adopted. Must not be age predjudice.
Hannah
Wow what an amazing home you have Mrs Miles.
Mrs Miles
Thank you dear but I can not take credit for this place we are only renting it for a little while I believe it belongs to some marquess, one of the Kings cousins. Any way they rent it out to rich people like a posh air B and B. This is the main house the place that you will be staying with Johan is the converted stable block, It is completely self contained and has everything you will need during your stay. It is a little small, a two bedroom but it is were he prefers to stay so we have let him.
Hannah
I suppose it is good to have your child in an environment they feel comfortable with.
Mrs Miles
Yes Dear, follow me
Am I following this woman to hell??? Just why is she suddenly being coy. It’s as if she doesn’t have a son. The corridor is getting darker, not sure I am feeling confident anymore….. Oh wow, just wow what an amazing courtyard.
Mrs Miles
The building to the left is the one you will be staying in with Johan. I will be away in Canada for the majority of your stay here. If you have any problems Julia is staying in the main house along with her husband Dios, please ask them if you need anything.
Hannah
So you are going to leave your child with me for six months, it is not ideal you may miss out on milestones, but I suppose I could record them for you. Oh right no videos.
Mrs Miles
How old do you think Johan is.
Hannah
A toddler, the same age as Sydney, I assumed this because you said they often play together.
Mrs Miles
Yes my son does often visit Mr Deer’s house and does play with Sydney, he is his god father.
Hannah
Wait I am not baby sitting a child?
Mrs Miles
No dear he’s an adultish
Hannah
Wait I never agreed to baby sit an adult man. I am not qualified you need a nurse or some sort of medical professional. I don’t do nursing
Mrs Miles
I don’t want you to nurse him he is not an invalid. He is a full grown man and is 32, he just needs to be watched and I have to attend to family matters n Canada so I can’t watch him hence I hired you. You only have to watch him, be with him, pursued him to eat his meals and make sure he has no alcohol whatsoever. Easy yes?
Hannah
NO NOT what I am trained for
Mrs Miles
Please give it a try your hear now.
Mrs Miles
I will double your pay
Jesus thats why she offered so much in the first place, with double I could start my own daycare.
Mrs Miles
Okay I will triple it
Hannah
Yes okay I will try it, the two week trail still stands yes?
Mrs Miles
Yes of course. Well good that’s settled. Please go on in, your bedroom is to the left.
Hannah
Alright thank you. Are you not coming in with me?
Mrs Miles
No I will leave you to get acquainted, too many people can still overwhelm him.
What on earth have I got my self into? This is mad, a grown man having a baby sitter, his mother talking about him as if he is a toddler. I wonder what sort on man he could be, will we get along? Is he just simply mad, does he go insane when he has alcohol, I am going in to this with out a clue about the person I am going to be living with for possibly the next six month’s. What if he is a pervert or a womaniser? What if he just hates everyone. What am I going to do?
Episode 2
Hannah
Hello, is anybody there?
Hannah
Um I am Hannah Hope, your baby-sitter ?
Johan
Are you asking me or telling me?
Johan
Hope your sure. What did you say a baby sitter?
Hannah
Um yeah a baby sitter
Johan
I don’t need a baby sitter. You are dismissed.
Where the hell is this man I can’t see him, is he just a disembodied head?
Hannah
I wasn’t hired by you, so you can’t dismiss me. So can we try to get along, I am with you for the next six months could we start with meeting face to face.
Johan
I don’t want to show you my face just yet, It causes women too faint.
Hannah
Bwah ha ha ha ha , No way ha ha ha ha ha No ones face does that.
Johan
Mine does! *angry tone*
Hannah
*still laughing* nope don’t buy that, unless your the almighty lord then not gonna happen, so please come out and talk to me face to face.
I can hear him moving is he going to come out and greet me, what a self conceited guy.
Johan
Fine I will come out, but I won’t be held responsible for your reaction!
Hannah
*Trying to stifle her laughter*
Mmm should I pretend too faint when he comes out just to annoy him? Could be funny, bet it would break the ice.
Johan
*tentatively emerges from his room*
Hannah
Oh my God it’s an Angel… *pretends to faint*
Johan
I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN! I TOLD YOU, EVERY TIME WOMEN MEET ME THEY JUST FAINT!
Hannah
*Can’t stop laughing, to the point she is crying* Just so funny, I couldn’t help it, your face though so serious!
Johan
NOT FUNNY. PEOPLE DO FAINT WHEN THEY MEET ME, IT CAN BE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY YOU SOULDN’T JOKE ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT!
Hannah
You shouldn’t assume every woman you meet will literally fall at your feet. Personally I don’t see the attraction myself.
Yes yes I do, if I had a tail it would be wagging. He is seriously gorgeous. Wait he looks familiar, perhaps I have seen him at Mr Deer’s house after all.
Johan
Then why are your eyes wandering over my body? Do you perhaps finally recognise who I am?
Well I can’t deny that! But I am not gonna let him know!
Hannah
Have we met before? Perhaps it was at Mr Deer’s house, he recommended me to your mother.
Ah that caught him off guard.
Johan
Yes I suppose that would be entirely possible, I am Sebastians God Father. *shakes his head* No not that you should know who I am from the movies, from the adverts, from the front of magazines I am Johan Miles!
Hannah
Hannah Hope, nice to meet you Johan. I have some gift’s for you but I doubt that you would want them as I thought you where a seven year old.
Johan
Gifts, I LIKE GIFTS, especially from adoring fans such as yourself!
Jesus is this man deluded or what?
Hannah
Yeah sure I am your fan. Here take this bag. *hands him the bag*
I feel a little embarrassed, I bought things for a seven year old boy. I can’t believe he is going to open the gifts. I bought a model of the latest porche
Johan
*opening present* I own this model, cool how did you know that? Oh wait there is something else in there.
Yeah only your latest album. <Big Cringe> now you will defiantly know I know who you are. I just didn’t know you would be who I was baby sitting it never crossed my mind.
Johan
Oh my Album, did you wan’t me to sign it. That’s not a problem but why did you put it in a gift to me?
Hannah
Because I thought I was baby sitting a seven year old boy. Turns out it’s a 37 year old boy instead.
I know I am just trying to annoy you
Hannah
Really I thought you where older.
I am sure I just saw him laugh.
Hannah
So do you mind if I go to my room, I need to unpack and would like to have a little rest before this evening.
Johan
I will show you, it’s just next to mine. Well it’s the only other room. The rest is open plan as you can see, the kitchen area is over there, sitting room is by here and you can access the garden through those patio door over there *points to doors*
Hannah
Thanks, which room is mine?
Johan
This one *opens door*.
What the actual f**** is this my room? How luxurious, I thought it would be a little box room.
Johan
My mother decorated this room, I assumed she would be staying with me. I did not realise she was decorating it for a baby sitter, explains why she kept asking what was in fashion.
She knew, this was done from guilt. Thankfully she has a conscious this room alone more than makes up for my Grumpy charge.
Hannah
I am sure we can try to get along. I am here to watch you and make sure you eat, I have been given a list of things you like and dislike, and some more comprehensive instructions from your mother. I am to accompany you when you go outside and help you with some day to day activities.
Johan
So a prison guard then. Okay you can handcuff me anytime you like.
Hannah
No I’m good, as I said before I am here as your sitter. Nothing else.
Johan
Fine I just thought that we could have a bit of fun seen as we are going to be together for the next six months. Oh wait that’s even if you last the two week trial period.
Hannah
You know about that do you.
Johan
Yes so be ready to leave in two weeks, the Game is on!
Hannah
I haven’t lost yet.
What have I gotten in too?
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